A muscle worked in his cheek as he clenched and unclenched his jaw. ‘I’m releasing you from our agreement.’
No. Everything in her screamed out in protest. She didn’t want to be released from their agreement. He might be over her, but she was far from over him. Powerlessness washed over her and searing pain followed in its wake. There was nothing she could do. If Jake didn’t want her then nothing she could do or say would change that. She wouldn’t cry and she wouldn’t beg. Realising her shoulders had slumped in defeat she straightened and summoned up the scant remains of her dignity.
Her chin lifted a fraction as she fought back tears. ‘I…I see,’ she said quietly, looking away from him and across the water to the Opera House.
Jake no longer wanted her as his lover.
‘I doubt that you do see, Amanda.’
The tenderness in his voice had her eyes zeroing in on him. His expression was…loving? Each second stretched into the next as she held her breath and waited for him to elaborate, but the only sound was the erratic thumping of her heart. It drowned out every other noise from the restaurant.
Could he still want her?
She needed to breathe, needed to say something—anything! ‘I’m grateful for —’
‘I don’t want your gratitude,’ he bit out.
Willing her voice not to tremble, she found the courage to ask, ‘What exactly do you want?’
‘I want you, Amanda.’
The vice in her chest eased a fraction and her fingers released the menu on to the table. A tiny spark of hope ignited in her heart as she absorbed his words.
The whole situation was surreal. One moment she thought he was over her. The next he was telling her he wanted her and looking at her with an expression she hardly dared to analyse. In direct response to his words and reactions her emotions were seesawing out of control at an alarming rate. There was an unguarded depth of caring in his eyes—she was certain she wasn’t imagining it.
Delicious expectation made her breathless. ‘How do you want me?’
His lips quirked into a smile. ‘In every way physically possible and then some.’
‘So, you want me, sexually.’ The words were flat.
The intensity of his regard never wavered yet she noticed his throat worked up and down a couple of times before he spoke. ‘I want you as my lover and as my partner. It’s what I’ve always wanted.’ He hesitated as though he were nervous. ‘I don’t want to put a time limit on our relationship.’
His words made her light-headed. It wasn’t the declaration of undying love she craved, but he wanted a real relationship with her and that was a giant step forward. If it wasn’t over, it gave her a chance to work on his physical need for her and perhaps turn it into something deeper.
‘I want you to live with me,’ he elaborated. ‘Not because you owe me because of a financial transaction, but because you want to.’
The lightness in her head turned into a full-scale dizzy spell. Hope bubbled through her veins but she was still cautious. ‘You want me to live with you but you’re not setting a time limit to the arrangement?’
The sudden tension in his body screamed out to her, warning her she might have misinterpreted his intentions.
‘Stay with me until —’ His eyes broke from hers abruptly. His jaw clenched momentarily before he continued, ‘— until one of us wants it to end.’
The bubbles burst as his words sank in and she realised there was no permanency in his offer. How foolish she’d been to translate Jake’s look of tenderness into love. Nothing had really changed in all this time. She still wanted him desperately and if she embarked on this relationship history would repeat itself. Sheer lack of confidence reasserted itself and told her it would be Jake who wanted it to end and her heart would be crushed again.
But can you deny yourself this chance to be with Jake—even if it only brings you temporary happiness? The question tormented her.
He reached across the table, took her hands in his again and she nearly cried at the familiar contact. Jake radiated powerful energy like a human dynamo. Her senses tuned into him, almost succeeding in dimming her awareness of her heavy heart. She was conscious of everything about him—every move he made, every breath he took.
‘You may not be in an agony of withdrawal but I am,’ he admitted. ‘I’ve been going through hell lying in the room opposite you every night and not being with you, but I won’t force you to be with me. I don’t want you because you feel obliged to be with me.’
Hope flamed again and her heart did a triple backward somersault in her chest cavity. While he was only admitting to physical desire, surely he must care for her a little bit or he would use his payment of Irene’s medical expenses to his advantage and demand she pay with her body.
‘I’m very sorry for the way I’ve behaved toward you and for the assumptions I made. I’ve been angry for a long time about your relationship with Bennett.’ He paused and appeared to be searching for the right words. ‘I don’t want a time limit on our relationship because the more I have you the more I want you.’ His voice was a little shaky, his expression taut. ‘Stay with me because you want to, Amanda.’ In his eyes she read uncertainty and…apprehension. The amazingly confident Jake Formosa was nervous she might refuse him.
God help her but she loved this man. Whatever pain it cost her when he walked away—she could not refuse his offer.
She wanted to be in his arms and in his bed.
She needed to be his lover.
An exhausting war raged within her between hope and self-preservation. The latter reminded her that Jake spoke only about passion. Charging on the flanks of love and desire, her hope squashed the doubts and warnings by arguing that Jake had almost completely reverted to the man she’d fallen in love with and his apology had been sincere. Since that first terrible treatment of her, he’d respected and cared for her, and put her needs first.
Hope won.
Every atom of her being proclaimed her love for him. The chance he was giving her was worth taking. In fact, she would never be able to live with herself if she walked away from this chance. She wanted an opportunity to fuel the passion between them and make sure the flame never burnt out. She took a deep breath, her mind racing. If she was to have any chance at all of making this relationship last, there had to be absolute truth between them. To completely set things straight between them, she had to explain the entire truth of her marriage. All the sordid details.
The legal documents she’d signed agreeing not to disclose her marriage bargain, haunted her. Jake may be paying for Irene’s medication unconditionally, but it was still Lloyd’s estate that kept Irene in her private nursing home. If she made the details of her marriage public knowledge, the funding for Irene’s ongoing care would be withdrawn. Irene would be the loser.
Was it fair to risk Irene’s future for a shot at her own happiness?
Amanda’s heart beat wildly as she looked across at Jake. The veils of doubt parted and for the first time she was able to rise above the tumultuous current of emotions that had rocked her confidence. She could trust Jake with the truth. He wouldn’t use the truth against her or put Irene’s welfare at risk by telling anybody else who might make it public knowledge.
‘Amanda?’ His deep voice jolted her out of her thoughts. ‘It’s your choice. Will you stay with me?’
A lump of emotion made her heart squeeze as she looked at the earnestness in his handsome features. No longer was she a marionette. Reason told her she should be happy. Jake had cut her free of the strings that tied her to him, making her free to determine her own actions. He didn’t want to be her master puppeteer, yet unknowingly he still held her heartstrings.
The sense of freedom to make her decision was exhilarating yet nerve-wracking. Like a base jumper at the edge of a precipice, she wanted to take the leap and experience the rush of being with him, but she knew there was no guarantee of a safe landing.
Reading her indecision, his eyes were full of pr
omise. ‘I want you to be happy.’
She believed him. Love welled within her and she smiled tremulously at him. ‘Yes.’
He exhaled a long breath and his features relaxed into a smile that was a mixture of relief and joy. ‘I promise you’ll never regret your decision.’
It was done. She’d agreed to be his lover, now she was free-falling and she prayed he’d be there to catch her. Butterflies beat their wings in her stomach. She swallowed and steeled herself to say what must be said. ‘There are other things you need to know…’ Her words trailed off.
Jake stilled, watching her closely. ‘I’m listening.’
She shook her head. ‘No. Not here. The things I need to say to you about my marriage to Lloyd must be explained in complete privacy.’
His expression was tense. ‘Shall we go, or do you want dessert?’
‘Let’s go now and talk all this through, Jake.’ She couldn’t let indecision swamp her any more. In order to go forward and seize a chance at happiness with Jake, she had to break the vow she’d made to Lloyd. Once they left the restaurant, she would explain about her marriage. She owed Jake the truth.
Stress caused her stomach to churn because she’d guarded the secret of her marriage for so long. But, the marriage bargain had been made under duress, before she knew Lloyd’s true character. She convinced herself she didn’t owe any loyalty to the man who’d exploited her and made her life miserable. As for Irene’s future, Jake could be trusted with the truth.
‘Let’s go then,’ Jake agreed. Amanda’s unease was palpable. The quicker they got home and talked everything out, the better.
Before they could move, Jake’s phone rang. One look at caller ID and he took it straight away.
‘Sophie. What is it?’
‘Trouble is brewing. You need to get down to the office straight away. I’ll explain when you get here.’
He looked across the table at Amanda and told Sophie, ‘I can’t make it.’
‘You have to make it.’ Every word was urgent. ‘An emergency meeting of the Board of Directors has just been called by Whitby. He’s moving a no-confidence motion in your chairmanship.’
Whitby. The man had been a pain in the ass for as long as Jake could remember. Why the hell he was moving against Jake at this point was a mystery when everything was going so well. Jake had just sealed the biggest deal in the history of the Formosa Corporation. Whitby was committing corporate suicide to move against him now.
‘I’ll be there,’ he told Sophie and ended the call.
Amanda’s face fell at his words.
Jake reached across and took her hands. ‘I’m sorry. There’s a problem at the office that I have to deal with. I’ll drop you home, and then I have to leave. We’re going to have to postpone our talk until I get back.’
‘That was Sophie.’ Her voice was small, each word flat.
‘Yes. She took her grandfather’s place on the board of directors when...’ He saw the uncertainty on her face. ‘It’s business, Amanda. Nothing more. As soon as possible, I’ll introduce you to Sophie then you’ll see for yourself that there’s nothing more than friendship between us. Believe me, this is urgent or I wouldn’t be leaving.’
‘Okay,’ Amanda answered, but it wasn’t okay. Not really. She was poised to tell Jake really important things and he was running off as soon as his ex-wife called. It didn’t do anything for her self-confidence. ‘I’ll grab a taxi. There’s no need for you to take me back and then have to come back into the city.’
‘You take the car then, and I’ll grab a taxi,’ he insisted.
Jake’s arm was around her waist, holding her securely at his side as they walked through the restaurant. They’d been one of the first couples to arrive but now the restaurant was packed. General conversation lulled as they made their way past tables, causing Amanda to feel conspicuous and self-conscious. She tried to ignore the looks that were directed their way, but her eyes wandered to her left and connected with those of her former sister-in-law.
Fiona Bennett.
Amanda’s heart skipped a beat and her stride faltered. Fiona, who was seated at a table with several friends, looked just as shocked as Amanda felt.
‘Amanda?’ Jake questioned as she slowed beside him. He followed the direction of her gaze and he drew her closer as he saw Fiona slowly rise to her feet.
His action was pure protection, pure possession, and Amanda loved it.
‘It’s okay, sweetheart,’ he murmured close to her ear. ‘I’m with you every step of the way.’
Surely Fiona wasn’t going to cause another public scene? Amanda took courage from Jake’s support as her nerves went haywire.
‘Amanda.’ Fiona called, moving around the table to stand directly in front of her.
Was it Amanda’s imagination or did the other woman seem hesitant?
‘Fiona.’ Every syllable Jake uttered was laced with warning, but Lloyd’s sister barely spared him a glance as she focused on Amanda.
‘It seems I owe you an apology,’ Fiona said with sincerity. ‘I thought…Well I didn’t realise…’ Her hands moved in front of her in a gesture of helplessness. ‘I’m sorry for the way I behaved at the funeral.’
It was just as well Jake’s arm supported her, because Amanda’s knees threatened to buckle from the complete turnaround in Fiona’s attitude. There had never been any love lost between them and she felt poleaxed by the apology.
‘It’s only today that I’ve learnt the whole truth of your marriage,’ Fiona continued. ‘I honestly had no idea, and I didn’t know where to reach you to explain what’s happened and to apologise.’
Amanda’s body jarred and she felt Jake tense beside her. Just how much did Fiona know and how had she found out? Amanda opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. What could she say? This was not the time or the place to ask questions.
‘Can we talk sometime soon?’ Fiona pleaded.
Still confused, Amanda gave a slight nod of agreement.
‘Excuse us, Fiona,’ Jake interjected.
‘Wait a second!’ Fiona dashed back to the table, retrieved her handbag and opened it to get out a business card. Handing it to Amanda she entreated, ‘Please call me. Soon.’
Amanda nodded, mutely. Before another word could be exchanged, Jake marshalled her away.
‘That was cryptic,’ Jake commented dryly. ‘I take it Fiona was referring to whatever it is you want to talk to me about?’
She gave him a small nod. Her hand started to tremble.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked her.
‘Yes,’ she managed in a shaky voice.
‘Why am I not reassured?’ He pulled her into a secluded area of the restaurant, away from prying eyes and anyone who might overhear them and looked at her intently.
‘Truly. I’m okay. I really appreciate your support.’
‘Sweetheart, you’ve just agreed to move in with me. It’s my right and responsibility to provide you with any protection or support you need.’
The wealth of caring in his voice and the gentleness of his touch as he reached up and stroked her cheek with his fingertips was almost her undoing.
‘Clearly you’re rattled by your encounter with Fiona,’ he continued, ‘and I can’t tell you how much it affects me to see the vulnerability in your expression right now. I want to go straight home with you. I would if this wasn’t urgent.’
‘We...we really need to talk, Jake. I’m not sure how much Fiona knows, but you need to know it all.’
‘Let’s go.’
He settled the bill quickly. All the while, he held her close to his side, his left arm encircling her waist.
‘The car should be waiting to take you home. I’ll be there as soon as possible and then we can say all we need to say to each other.’
She realised her anxiety must be clouding her expression but was unable to shake the dreadful sense of foreboding—the worry that just when it seemed there was hope that they might be able to build something worthwhi
le together, it was all about to come crashing down because she’d failed to confide the truth of her marriage to him. Would Lloyd come between them again even from the grave?
‘Whatever is you have to tell me, Amanda, it won’t diminish my need for you.’ He brushed his lips briefly against hers. ‘After we talk I intend to take you to bed, and this time it will be very different between us. I want to make love to you.’
Her heart somersaulted in reaction to his promise.
‘It will be good, Amanda.’
‘Go to your meeting, Jake, then we’ll talk and see what happens.’
He smiled at her before he kissed the tip of her nose. ‘You worry too much, Amanda. You don’t need to anymore. It’s your turn to be taken care of and I’m more than ready for the task. Trust me.’
If only it were so easy.
Chapter 10
Amanda was restless as she waited for Jake to return from sorting out whatever problem it was that had arisen. The fact that he’d left as soon as Sophie phoned was unsettling but she tried to put her insecurities aside and trust him.
Uncertain as to how long it would be before Jake returned, Amanda made a cup of tea and sat on the couch to watch the late night news. She needed to get her mind off the conversation that they were about to have.
The bulletin about the latest political scandals in the country didn’t interest her. Instead she mentally rehearsed all she had to say—until a picture of Jake flashed up on to the screen.
‘Jake Formosa, media tycoon and head of the Formosa Corporation, is fighting for his right to remain as Chairman of his Board of Directors this evening. An emergency meeting was called by Sean Whitby who has moved a no-confidence motion against Mr Formosa.’
Horrified, Amanda only just had the presence of mind to place the cup on the coffee table before she tipped the contents everywhere.
An image of another man replaced Jake. The caption on the screen identified him as Sean Whitby, a member of the Board of Directors.
‘Mr Formosa is no longer an appropriate Chairman for the corporation,’ Mr. Whitby told the reporters. ‘Recently, he’s been more occupied with personal matters than company business. He left a meeting in the middle of critical negotiations to be with his lover, Amanda Bennett, then cancelled all his business obligations for a week, to spend time with her.’
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