“I hear you, Miss Katie. I love my mother. It’s just that sometimes, you know, she kinda gets on my nerves.”
“I know, Coco. We’re all human and we’ve all got weaknesses. All you got to do is lend her some of your strength. You’ve got to lean on each other. It’s a relationship. Mother and daughter, they shouldn’t give up on each other.”
“Sometimes I just don’t know.”
“Coco, you’re still young. You’re a teenager in high school. Don’t worry too much. Child, God works in mysterious ways. Your mother will have to carry her share of the load. You can’t do all the carrying.”
“Sometimes, I feel like I’m the only one doing the carrying.” Coco paused and thought for a couple beats before she continued. “It becomes a burden and she blames me when anything goes wrong.”
“You can only control the things that you’re able to and no more. You cannot control everything.”
“I know...” Coco began but the old lady was on a roll so Coco listened.
“It’s awful, the conditions that we live in, but you have a chance to pull yourself out. Don’t get caught up because you have a lot to be proud of.” Miss Katie wasn’t saying anything new but Coco somehow felt she needed to pay attention to the old lady’s words.
“I hear you.”
“If there comes a time when you think your mother is dragging you down then you’ve got to decide at that time if it’s right to let go,” Miss Katie said and immediately Coco’s ear perked. The old lady continued, “If you don’t know when to let go, you’ll wind up drowning in her problems.” Miss Katie tried to assess Coco’s reaction before continuing. “And then what? Whose gonna be there to save you both? It may seem difficult to save you both but God can, Coco, and He will if you only believe.”
Miss Katie looked at Coco as if waiting for an answer. Coco leaned back in the chair and the words sank deep. She sipped the rest of the cocoa then said, “I know you’re right in a lot of ways but I’m saying, this is a different time. It’s cool to believe in God but from where I stand, you’ve got to believe in yourself just as much or even more.”
“First, you’ve got to believe that through Him all things are possible,” Miss Katie said with finality. Coco glanced around searching for the right thing to say. Nothing came. “You should come out to church with me. Maybe this Sunday?”
Coco heard the question and tried to think of the right answer. What she wanted to say was that she didn’t want to go to church with Miss Katie. Instead, Coco glanced at the time and quickly changed the subject. The fact that she still hadn’t called her mother dawned on her. In a few minutes, the switchboard would be closed and she had not called back yet. It was also a good time to catch a smoke, she thought.
“I better call mommy before she freaks,” Coco said and started to check her pockets for change. “I’m going downstairs to make this call, Miss Katie,” the girl said. Coco really intended to use the moment to have a cigarette but Miss Katie interceded.
“Coco, you can call from the phone in the living room while there’s time. They don’t accept calls after a certain time.” Miss Katie did not wait for the answer. “I think it’s eleven o’ clock,” she continued.
“Yeah, I think you’re right.”
“Go ahead and call her now. Use the phone that’s in the living room.”
“Thank you,” Coco said and went to the living room.
“You can take the hot cocoa with you, girl.”
SIXTEEN
Coco got her cup and walked to the living room. She picked up the receiver and dialed her mom’s number. Good, she thought when the phone rang on the other end. She surveyed the old lady’s place. Everything was in place, neat and orderly. Along with framed photographs of other family members, there were framed pictures of Michelangelo’s Christ in every earthly pose.
Coco glanced through the living room and saw the neat mahogany furniture with plastic covering the sofas. She noticed a toddler fast asleep on the sofa in front of the television. Just as Coco was about to turn the set off, the boy began to wail. “Oh, I didn’t know you were up,” Coco whispered with the remote in hand. “I’m sorry.” The baby boy, about two years old, struggled to keep his eyes open. Finally, Coco could hear the operator on the line.
“Hello, may I speak with Mrs. Harvey?”
“Is this an emergency?”
“No, I mean, kinda...”
“All residents are asleep. Only emergency calls are accepted at this time.”
“Um, okay…” Coco heard the click of termination from the phone at the other end. She looked at the phone. “Thank you too,” she said to herself and returned the cordless to its place.
Moments later, she returned to the kitchen where Miss Katie was eating chocolate chip cookies and watching the small television on the counter.
“Some people can be so ghetto,” Coco said.
“Why, what happened?” Miss Katie asked between bites.
“The receptionist was so rude.”
“I know those receptionists, they don’t know how to talk to anyone and their job is to talk to people. Like the one at my doctor’s office, she don’t know how to do her damn job. Always on the phone and when you call, either you can’t get through or she has you on hold forever,” Miss Katie said.
“Miss Katie,” Coco smiled, “you said damn. Let me find out.” Coco could not recall ever hearing her neighbor swear. This slip came as a surprise to Coco.
“You’ve got to call it. These places doing the hiring and firing have got to look into the backgrounds of the people they’re hiring. If you’re hiring a receptionist to deal with the public, the first qualification should be courtesy, not bad manners,” Miss Katie said.
“You know, what you’re saying is true indeed.” Coco laughed.
“Got that right,” Miss Katie said.
“You know what? I’ll just go see her tomorrow.”
“Yeah, but you may wanna call before you go and if that same witch answers, you put me on the phone. I‘ll show her how to fly right.”
“You got it.”
“People in this world don’t know how to get along with each other.”
“Yeah, you know it. That’s Roshawn in there?” Coco asked as she joined the older lady at the table.
“Yep, that’s him. Got real big, huh?”
“What! He’s really growing. For a minute I was like, ‘Who is that?’ but then I saw the resemblance to Deja and I realized that was Kim’s kid.”
“Yeah, he does resemble his father. It’s all that fast food making the babies bigger and more hyper. And that’s all Kim has time for, you know? She’s always into something, that girl. I watch him every time she doesn’t have the regular sitter. She has too many things to do. Young people nowadays don’t have much time for themselves and much less for the babies. Everything is quick and fast. That’s not good for a baby.” Miss Katie got up from her seat.
“Yeah, you’ve got to slow it down for the kids.”
“She needs time to grow with her son especially now that his father was killed. Did you hear if they found out if that girl… ah, what’s her name?”
“Bebop, Miss Katie,” said Coco.
“Yeah, Bebop. Did she really kill him and kill herself too?”
“I really don’t know. I mean, that’s what they say.”
“It just seemed a little odd that she did something like that, killed her lover and herself.”
“Yeah, that’s it. Just another stat,” Coco said sounding sad.
“Well, it don’t matter really. We all got to go one day. Just make your days here on earth positive for Jesus and you’ll be in heaven,” Miss Katie said as Coco raised her eyebrows.
“I hear you.”
“Everything’s so fast nowadays. His daddy ain’t here and his mommy got to go to her night job. That’s why you don’t need no kids right now. Your life is already too fast plus you’ve got to be there for your mommy.”
“I’m not trying to get
pregnant. Anyway, I don’t even have a boyfriend and you need a man to make that happen.”
“Well, you really don’t need no man, not now. You concentrate on passing through school first. I told my Roxie that and look at her now, she’s one of them head honchos in her bank making all that money. Even though, I kinda wished that one of my children would give me a grandson like Roshawn in there,” Miss Katie said holding her eyes to the ceiling. “Sometimes all I have is you and him around me,” Miss Katie said. Coco could sense the old lady sinking into sadness.
“You’ll have all that one day, Miss Katie. There’ll be lots of grandchildren driving you nuts,” Coco said as cheerful as possible.
“Oh, I wouldn′t go crazy. I’d love ‘em young ones. Oh but the Lord knows best. Was Roshawn asleep?” Miss Katie asked.
“I thought so but then I tried to turn the television off and he started crying.”
“That’s my lil’ man. He loves those cartoons so much.”
“I know how that is. I used to love me some cartoons, too.”
“I better go put that boy to bed ‘fore he stays up all night like his mommy. Coco, you fix yourself some food to take. I’ll be back. Everything you need is right there,” Miss Katie said pointing then leaving the kitchen.
Coco looked around then busied herself with lifting the lid from each of the pots. There were sweet yams, smothered chicken, rice, string beans and corn. A lot of choices, thought Coco as she found the utensils, prepared a plate and ate hearty.
Tomorrow she would visit her mother at the residential program. She knew it was not going to be an easy outing. Later, as she sipped cherry Kool Aid and listened to the long-winded version of growing up right as explained by Miss Katie, Coco heard her mention the police.
“Miss Katie, you never mentioned the police called.”
“Did I say they called? They came by. Said they wanted to talk to your mother or see the place so I asked what it was about. They say you might be involved in some kind of shooting but I knew better. The police, they always lying to black folks so I did-n’t pay ‘em too much mind.” Miss Katie emptied her trash into a plastic bag. Coco took the bag from her.
“This is going out? I’ll take it,” Coco said and made the trip to the trash compactor in the hallway. The old lady held the door open for Coco and smiled as she returned.
“Thanks, sweetie,” she said. Coco still had the police visit on her mind.
“You’re welcome, Miss Katie. Is that all the police did?”
“Yeah, that was pretty much it,” Miss Katie said.
“I know those police are up to no good. They’re trying to find out if anyone is lying.”
“Well, I told the truth. I told them your mother was in a program and then they wished her the best and just left. They said it was routine to make sure you were telling the truth about your address. I think they were just trying to get some information but I had none for them.” Miss Katie smiled as she pretended to seal her lips.
Coco knew it was the same two detectives that had picked her up yesterday. What were they trying to do? Maybe they were just running a background check. She was not sure of their motives but she didn’t want to call Deedee about it. Coco let it slip from her mind.
“That girl, your friend, Dee?”
“You mean Deedee?”
“Yes that one. Deedee, Day-day, all these new fancy names. I can’t remember any of them. She called again,” Miss Katie said. Coco told Miss Katie that it was too late to call.
“Do you hear the sirens?” Miss Katie asked as she walked to the window.
“Yep, another busy night for the police,” Coco said in a dry manner as she joined Miss Katie at the window.
“I bet they headed up to 6K. That Puerto Rican man is always beating his wife. Before he leaves, he beats her and when he gets home in the evening, he beats on her again. I don’t know why she doesn’t leave him.”
“I guess she feels she needs to be beaten all the time.”
“I don’t know why some women take up with men who’s gonna beat on them. Back in the days before my husband went to Vietnam, he never once hit me. You’ve got to respect your partner.”
“Some people just don’t care. And why does a man want to beat on a woman anyway?”
“Only God knows what’s in that man’s heart, Coco. No one else can tell. Then you go ahead and marry some bum for better or worse,” Miss Katie said and began her lesson on domestic violence to which Coco almost nodded off twice.
A couple rounds of this from Miss Katie left Coco worn out. She bid good night to the old lady and went next door.
SEVENTEEN
Coco tossed and turned all night. Every sound woke her and she heard the dealers and fiends all night long. On Sunday, she awoke up early and despite being in a state of sleep deprivation, she was committed to visiting her mother as planned. Coco quickly showered, dressed and knocked on Miss Katie’s door. A few moments later, Miss Katie answered the door in her night-clothes.
“Come in, Coco. You’re ready to go? Well, use the telephone. Lemme run to the bathroom. I left my bath running,” Miss Katie said and hurried off leaving Coco to use the phone. She returned a few minutes later. “Come fix yourself some hot chocolate to drink before you go,” she offered.
“I’m alright, Miss Katie.”
“Coco, first thing in the morning, you must have something warm or you’ll wind up with a stomach ache.”
“I really must go but I’ll follow your advice. I can’t really stay too long though,” Coco said thinking of Miss Katie’s knack for telling tall tales.
She followed the old lady into the kitchen and saw the Roshawn lying in the living room again. Miss Katie already had the hot chocolate brewed.
The hot liquid burned her lips and tongue as Coco attempted to gulp it down. She resorted to sipping while she blew on it. She was quickly out the apartment. “I’ll see you later, Miss Katie.”
“All right, be safe out there. Say hello to your mommy and give her this for me, you hear?” Miss Katie said and handed Coco a Macy’s shopping bag. “Just a few things I think she might need.” She turned to look at the time but Coco was already saying goodbye.
“See ya.” With headphones covering her ears, Coco was running out the door and down the stairs.
These kids nowadays, they can move so fast, Miss Katie thought as she waved at Coco from the window. “Be safe, Coco.”
EIGHTEEN
On the bus ride to see her mother, the thought of explaining the shooting never left her mind. Coco sat in the back with her bag on the floor and her headphones glued to her ears. She listened, rewound, and paused the CD player. No matter what, Coco could not clear her mind.
She knew that her mother was gonna be very angry after she heard what happened. Should she give her the news version or tell her what really happened? Coco knew that in either case, her mother would be angry but that the version on the news would be best thing at this time. Coco rewound the story over again. Her mother would wanna know not only why and how but also when, where, who, what and every other detail.
Soon enough, the bus pulled to a stop and Coco knew it was time to face her mother. She got off the bus and trudged slowly through the gates of the rehab center. Her thoughts were still engaged. Coco delved into the information she already had on the incident and thought of any loopholes her mother might see. She would definitely give her the news version, Coco decided.
“Rachel Harvey,” the receptionist said on the phone, “please come to the visiting area. Your daughter is here.” Then she turned to Coco and said, “You can have a seat over there. Your mother will be right with you.”
“Thank you,” Coco said and sat in the visitor’s area. No sooner had she picked up a magazine when her mother walked out.
“Let’s go to my room cuz we‘ve got to talk,” she said without any greeting and turned around. Coco followed knowing that trouble was there ahead of her. When they reached the room, Coco presented her mother wit
h the bag.
“It’s from Miss Katie for you. She sends her regards,” Coco said.
“Miss Katie is such a sweet lady,” Rachel said taking the bag and looking at the contents. “Oh a few more underwear and a pajama set. That lady...” Rachel started but stopped as she found a card Miss Katie had sent. She read it quietly as Coco glanced around the tiny but clean residence.
The place contained a single bed, a desk with a chair and wall locker. It was neat and well organized. On any other day, Coco would be happy to be here but today she knew as soon as her mother was through with the bag of goodies Miss Katie had sent, she would let her have it. Coco readied herself for the worse. The news version, she reminded herself.
“And don’t think I’ve forgotten about what your fresh ass did, Coco. You were out all night then next day, you’re at this music producer’s apartment where some people got shot. Look, you’re gonna have to realize that guns kill and bullets don’t have eyes. I don’t want to sit around here and have anyone call telling me that you were killed in a rap war.”
“Mommy, it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t like that at all.”
“So, how was it, huh Coco? Give me your version.”
“I’m saying...”
“You’re saying what?”
“I’m saying they...ah, this guy, he ran up in Mr. Ascot’s apartment and he shot the other girl.”
“He was just sitting around and then decided, all of a sudden without anyone else saying anything to him, to run up in this man’s apartment? C’mon Coco, that’s the story he told y’all to tell the cops? Well, y’all can fool the cops but you know you can’t fool me, girl.”
“This ain’t nothing about fooling anyone, ma. It’s the truth. He probably tried to rob the place. I mean, Eric Ascot is big time. He’s got a lot of money.”
“Not from what the police is saying. They saying it could be drug related and all.”
“Ma, you know you can’t take anything the news reports as truth.”
“Who is talking about any news, girl. I’m talking about what the detectives said.”
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