by Nobilis Reed
The next morning, we overslept a bit and had to rush to make Physicality on time. The class went pretty much the same as the previous day’s, though Valka and I had an easier time working into the partner movement exercises. I pushed hard, trying to wear us out, so we could have some more time to talk privately. Shirley noticed, though, and held me back, forcing me to maintain the correct forms. When we completed the program, there wasn’t time for a walk together, and the four of us went directly to the showers.
In the showers, I noticed a change. “Valka, your pubic hair is gone.”
She looked down and ran her hand over the smooth skin above her cleft. “Yeah, it really shows in the cadet uniform. I thought it would look better.”
I wanted to ask whether Masters had suggested it. He probably had. I glanced over at Shirley and Masters. Both were hairless below the neck.
I felt another knot of jealousy forming in my stomach, but I ignored it. “So how do I join the club?”
Shirley took a tube from a shelf of toiletries on the wall. “You can shave it, just like you do your face, but I recommend this stuff. It’s a nice depilatory—leaves your skin smooth, and lasts a long time before getting stubble.”
I squeezed some out onto my fingertips. “Can I use it on my face, too? I’d like to be able to skip shaving there.”
“I wouldn’t recommend it,” said Masters. “If you get any on your head, you’d lose hair in strange patches.”
I grunted an acknowledgment and rubbed the thick paste into my pubic hair. Gradually, the hair disintegrated, and when I turned my body back under the shower, it rinsed away and down the drain. The skin was smooth and sensitive where the hair had been. It would certainly make everything feel different with the hair gone.
When I finished, Masters and Valka had already finished their showers.
Shirley stepped over and ran her hand over my naked skin. “Nice, isn’t it?”
My cock responded instantly, twitching just below her hand.
“You’re teasing me,” I said. “You know we can’t just do it here.”
“Oh, we can, but we don’t have time. Later, maybe.” She gave my cock a squeeze and headed for the warm air vents, giving me a smile over her shoulder. “I imagine you’re hungry.”
In the dressing area, Valka spotted my erection and flashed Shirley a little smile. I couldn’t help checking to see what Valka’s body looked like in the sheer cadet uniform, making my erection even worse. I pulled on my shirt and shorts, but that only served to make it more prominent.
By keeping my mind occupied with some of the equations I learned the night before, I managed to get myself distracted enough for it to subside before we sat down for breakfast, but that just left me with a mild ache in my testicles.
It wouldn’t be the last.
Chapter Nine
The morning passed roughly the same as it had the day before, except that I felt a bit more comfortable with the routine. By lunchtime, the pain in my groin from Shirley’s teasing had eased. I asked if Valka and I could go for another walk together during our free hour. Since our studies had gone well through the morning, Shirley and Masters gave their permission.
I stayed quiet until we were out of the academy, in the long corridor leading out to the oxygen deck, then took a moment to prepare. “You’re doing so much better than me at this.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s like a kick in the stomach every time I think of you and Masters being together, but you seem to be taking everything that happens with a smile and a nod.” It sounded like an accusation, but I couldn’t think of any other way to put it.
She shrugged. “Just the way I am, I guess. I’ve never been real jealous. Do you remember when you had that thing for Sindra Colpey?”
“What thing?”
“Oh, I saw the way you looked at her. I could tell what was going on in your mind, but I know you, Challers.” She went up on her tiptoes to kiss me on the cheek. “We’re in love, right?”
“I don’t know, Valka, I feel like this whole thing is changing us.”
“Yes, we’re growing, becoming Scouts. But love is more important than that.”
I pulled her close. “We have to hold onto it, Valka. We have to hold onto it hard. I feel it, I don’t know, slipping away.” I bent down to give her a kiss, a kiss that would seal us together, a kiss like we had never had before.
When I opened my mouth, probing with a tentative tongue, she pulled back. “Challers . . .”
“What?” I held on. I couldn’t let her go, not like this, not now.
She stiffened. “I don’t think we should take our relationship down that road right now. It’ll be a long time before we can really do anything about it, and I’d really just rather not start.”
Reflexively, my hands gripped tighter. “What are you talking about? Valka, I love you. You don’t want to kiss me?”
“Mmm, not like that.” She smiled. “I want us to be like we were back on the station.”
She pushed out of my grip, took my hand in hers, and wrapped my arm around her waist to walk with me. Just like always.
I yanked my arm away from her. “Not like what? Not like having sex? Not like Masters?”
“Oh, don’t be like that, Challers. You don’t have anything to be jealous about. I have a completely different relationship with Masters. It’s business, you know?”
“No, I don’t know! You can’t have sex with someone without having feelings for them. Look at Masters and Shirley!”
“I did look at them. If you might recall, we saw them having sex, and there was no passion there at all. They were just going through the motions. You didn’t see that?” She shook her head. “I can’t believe you didn’t see that.”
“Shirley said . . .”
“Oh, please,” said Valka, sneering. “You have to look at what she does, not what she says.”
“Are you saying she’s lying to me?”
“Shirley and Masters are not in love. Not even close. It’s just business between them, the same as between Masters and me. People say things they don’t mean all the time.”
“Oh, does that include you, too? Because what I’m hearing is that you’re putting Masters—who you say you don’t love—ahead of me. In less than a year, you’re going to be having sex with him, probably every day, and you won’t even kiss me! Do you love me, Valka? Do you really? Because you’re not acting like it.”
“Vacuum take him!” She gestured wildly with the foul curse on her lips. “No, I don’t love Masters, and I shouldn’t have to prove it to you by having sex with you!”
“I don’t want to have sex with you! I just want a vacking kiss! Is that so much to ask? I love you, Valka!”
She set her jaw, lip trembling, as if about to burst into tears.
“What? What did I say? People who love each other kiss! What’s the big problem?”
“You go on your walk, Challers,” she said, voice trembling. “I don’t want to come this time.”
She turned her back on me, and slowly made her way back into the academy.
I stood there, blinking, throat tight and cramped. I wanted to stop her, I wanted to scream at her to come back, but the words just wouldn’t come.
What had happened to her? What had I said to upset her like that?
I watched her until tears blurred my vision and I had to wipe them away. I stumbled out to the oxygen deck, down the path between the fields and orchards, until I came to the water.
The newgens weren’t there. I was glad of the solitude. I didn’t want anyone to see me right then. I sat down on the bank, letting my thoughts slide by like the slow-moving current.
After a time, my tablet bipped. I ignored it. It bipped again. I took it out and silenced it. I wanted to throw the stupid thing into the water.
I wanted to throw myself in.
Shirley sat down next to me. She didn’t say anything, didn’t do anything, just sat.
“I guess you know what h
appened,” I said.
“A little of it. You and Valka had a fight.”
The tears threatened to start flowing again. “She doesn’t want me anymore.” The effort of holding back the emotions made it hard to talk.
“You want to have Astronavigation class out here? We can just lay out your tablet and listen to the lecture. You already know today’s material. It’ll be easy.”
I shrugged. “Sure. Whatever.” Everything I had been fighting for had evaporated.
Shirley took my tablet and laid it on the grass between us. “Just access the classroom feed, there.”
“I know.” I tabbed through the menus and pulled up the Astronavigation class for day two, and routed it to the tablet’s projector. The semi-transparent form of the lecturer appeared and immediately began the day’s material.
I tried to lose myself in it, but the image of Valka’s snarling face kept coming back to me. I shut it off and collapsed onto the grass. Too tired to hold it back any longer, I let the tears out, let the sobs out, let everything just pour out of me.
Shirley put her hand on my back.
I felt empty. I felt like my only reason for being there, at the academy, was gone. Why should I bother with the classes? What was there for me? I was alone. If I just disappeared right there, no one would miss me. My parents would think I was safely cruising the stars, among the galaxy’s elites. To everyone else, I was just a resource. A resource that could be replaced.
Even to Valka.
Then a thought occurred to me: she had used me. She had never been sincere about her feelings. It was all a lie to get me to help her get off the station. She told me she loved me, because she knew that would make me want to help her, to save her. I had been shamelessly manipulated. Or at least . . .
No. It was easier to believe she had no feelings at all for me, easier to believe it was all a lie.
“We really shouldn’t skip two classes, Challers. We need to get back for Medical. It’s not a holographic lecture; this is hands-on equipment training.”
“I don’t think I want to be in the same room with her right now.”
“We’ll find another room. Come on.”
She helped me to my feet and picked up my tablet. As I put it in the carry-pouch, I heard a little tic of plastic on plastic. The little data wafer was still down there, the one that had been handed to me by the mysterious cadet the day before.
As we walked up the path, I found my thoughts drifting back to it. A part of me wanted to put those thoughts out of my head. It was too dangerous. If she felt a need to be secretive about it, then there must be some penalty. I could feel a hungry curiosity building, though, and I knew it would not be sated without reading that wafer.
Back at the academy, Shirley opened a supply closet with her palm implant and took out an excursion kit. She brought it to a nearby classroom and laid it out on the desk, and then went up to her place behind me. The lecture started. Each item in the kit was named. I repeated the names. The items were named, and I presented them. Items were presented, and I named them. Each item’s function was described. Each item in the kit was named, and I described their functions. The functions were described, and I named the items and presented them. The rote memorization of these isolated bits of information made an uncomplicated drone of my consciousness that I found strangely comforting, like a hot shower. Steady. Mindless.
When it was done, Shirley complimented me on my focus.
I nodded.
“Are you ready for what’s next?” she asked.
“Physicality,” I said.
We walked down the hall. I watched, hoping and dreading that Valka would come out of her session in Medical, that we would be face to face again. She didn’t. Shirley opened a door. I went in. Shirley and I were alone.
“Yesterday, I gave you a tour of the female body,” she said, stripping off her clothes. “Now it’s your turn to explore. I want you to touch every part of me and pay attention to how I react. It’s not necessary that you give me an orgasm today, though I certainly wouldn’t complain if you did.”
She lay down in the middle of the bed, legs slightly parted.
The sight didn’t look inviting at first, but a little beat of curiosity pulsed behind my breastbone. This would be a welcome distraction. Maybe if I did this, really pushed through and put myself into it, I could forget about Valka, at least for a time. I crawled onto the bed and knelt by her side. She offered me her hand. I pushed away the thought that Valka would be doing something very similar with Masters, right then. I closed my eyes and focused, putting the rogue thought out of my head. If she didn’t want me, then fine. I didn’t want her.
At least, that’s what I told myself.
I took Shirley’s hand between mine. I brought it up to my face. She smelled faintly of the cleanser we all used, but there was something unique about her scent, as well. I held her hand lightly in mine while I ran the other hand up her arm, feeling the firm muscles under her skin.
“Your arms were the first part of you I noticed,” I said.
She gave me an amused half-smile. “Really.”
“No lie.”
She flinched a little as my hand moved closer to her armpit.
“And ticklish too,” she said.
I could feel the ache inside me dissipate a little. Her shoulders were firm and strong.
“You don’t have to go in any particular order,” she said. “Explore anywhere and in any way you like. Just pay attention; you’re learning not just about my body, but about the way it reacts to your touch.”
Another deep breath. My fingers moved slowly to her neck, up to her jawline, and around her ear. I drew some of her soft hair between my fingers. From there, I trailed my fingers down to her breasts. I cupped one in my hand, squeezed and stroked, alternating between looking at what I was doing and looking at her face for a reaction.
“You can be a little rougher,” she said. “They’re not going to break.”
I squeezed harder, exploring the pliable flesh, how it would move and stretch. Her nipples poked out from the round surface, begging for attention. I gave it to them, first stroking, then twirling, finally squeezing and pinching.
Shirley cooed contentedly.
I didn’t want to merely make her contented, I realized. I wanted to see her orgasm. Even though it wasn’t the aim of the lesson, I wanted to do it anyways. A secret, irrational part of my subconscious told me it would serve Valka right if Shirley was the first to orgasm by my hand. Another part wanted to see Shirley’s face thrown into the same twisted luxury that I had shown her previously.
“I haven’t had an orgasm since I was on the ship,” she said. “It shouldn’t be hard for me to have one. Go ahead. Give it a try.”
I moved, seeking out the tender flesh below. She widened her legs a bit, and I shifted my position to make the reach easier. She was wet. I drew my fingers up to get the scent and taste of her. It wasn’t unpleasant, nor was it particularly pleasant, but I did notice the Shirley-ness that I had sensed before.
Watching her face carefully, I moved my fingers among her folds, trying various combinations of rhythm and pressure. She didn’t speak, but let her face and breathing speak for her. When I did something too rough, she flinched. I learned early on to be gentle. If I didn’t find something good to touch, she pouted a little and looked up at me expectantly. Touching her clitoris directly was too much, she had said, so I kept my attention nearby, but not too close. Tapping and rubbing seemed to work well, and combining those motions worked even better.
I was too nervous to get very turned on. Seeing her lying there, offering her body to me, aroused me somewhat. Touching her certainly helped. I didn’t feel too turned on to pay attention, however. I was still very much in control.
She closed her eyes and arched her back, almost offering her breasts to me. I put my other hand on her nipple, taking it between my thumb and forefinger. Little jolts of tension started running through her body—her hand, face, arm
, leg—little spasms that grew and merged until her whole body was startlingly rigid.
“I’m going to . . . oh . . .” Her face contorted, lips pulled back, eyes clamped shut. “Faster,” she gasped. “You can . . . harder . . .”
I increased the pace, even though I was getting cramps in my wrist, until suddenly she grabbed my hand, mashing it into her crotch, and let out a startling hiss. She shuddered in a slowing rhythm in between gasps for air.
When it finally passed, she let go of my hand and I swallowed nervously. “Was that . . . ?”
“Yes,” she said with a smile. “It was. Congratulations, Challers. You just gave your first orgasm.”
Chapter Ten
Valka and Masters got to the mess hall before us, and were already sitting and eating when Shirley and I arrived. After I got my dinner tray, I walked toward her, until she gave me a tight-lipped look.
I had told myself that she had been using me, but I was wrong. I didn’t see contempt there, or disdain. She didn’t look good. She had been crying. Her eyes were still red, and she was sniffling. She picked at her food. The same emotions that I spent the afternoon wrestling with were roiling inside her, as well.
I left my tray at a different table and started to walk in their direction, but Shirley put her hand on my shoulder. “Maybe you should give it a little time, Challers.”
I patted her hand. “No, I need to talk to her. I have to try.”
When I got there, Masters gave me a warning look and shook his head slightly, but I ignored him. “Valka. I never meant to hurt you. You know that, right?”
She gave me the tight-lipped look again.
I took a deep breath and leaned down. “Valka, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did, but whatever it was . . .”
“Just go away,” she snapped. “I don’t want to see you.”
Masters shook his head when I opened my mouth. “You better go.”
I returned to my table. Shirley gave me a look of sympathy.