When her parents called and said they’d been contacted by several rescues who offered to partner with them to rehome animals, Joanna understood that Bradford was more comfortable showing her how much he cared rather than talking about it. So, no, it didn’t matter if Bradford wasn’t comfortable saying he loved her. In every other way that mattered he’d already shown her how he felt.
To break the tension, Joanna said, “Snowy Butt.”
“What?”
“That’s what we should name your Appaloosa. He’s all white except for the blanket on his butt. It’d be a cute name.”
Bradford didn’t deny the ownership part, but he did say, “I’ll run the name Snowy by him.”
Joanna placed a hand over Bradford’s heart. “You do that. He’s past the danger zone now. It’s safe to say he’s staying. He should have a name.”
Bradford covered her hand with his. “Snowy, huh?”
She shrugged. “Unless you have a better one for him.”
He shook his head. “No, it suits him. Plus, kids would like it. Leslie said he has the right personality for a therapy horse. He likes people and not too much seems to bother him. I like the idea of him finding a purpose.”
Joanna searched his face. He wasn’t just talking about the future of the horse. Bradford was seeking his own purpose. Her gut clenched. I have to be prepared for the possibility that it might not be here with me.
Rescuing animals had taught Joanna a deeper understanding of love. It couldn’t be selfish and still be healthy. She loved each and every creature that touched her life, but sometimes loving them involved letting them go when they were ready.
Bradford had gone two weeks without a nightmare. He said that was a record. She saw it as a sign that being on her farm, being with her, was bringing him a certain amount of peace. She prayed that it was also a sign of some healing.
A whole side of Bradford was dying in order to be on Joanna’s farm with her. How long would the simple life be enough for him?
How would she handle being with him if it involved him flying off to all corners of the planet and possibly not returning to her?
Things had been going so well she didn’t want to bring up another topic that was sure to make him uncomfortable. There was no avoiding it, however. “I got a phone call this afternoon from Angelina.”
He looked down at her with that impossible to read expression of his. “Yes?”
“They’re headed off to Iceland tomorrow morning and wanted to know if you’d changed your mind.”
His eyes narrowed. “I haven’t.”
“I was planning to go even if you didn’t.” She wished he would show how he felt about that possibility, but—nothing. “I’ve never seen Iceland or a film being made. Plus, Dylan is really excited for all of us to be there.”
“You should go.”
“I might. I really want to.” Joanna folded her arms across her chest. “What would you say if I told you I don’t want to go without you?”
He held her gaze without blinking. “I have things I’m working on here.”
Her stance softened. “Snowy? We don’t have to go for long. Just a few days. You know he’d be well taken care of here.”
“I said no.”
Joanna gasped when he turned and walked away from her, straight out of the paddock and to his car. Well, that went well.
Bradford wasn’t driving with a destination, he just needed to put some distance between himself and Joanna long enough to work through the tsunami of emotion crashing through him. He pulled off onto a dirt road and parked.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
He called the one person who knew him almost better than he knew himself. When he answered, Bradford barked, “Ian, listen, don’t speak.”
“Okay,” Ian said in an urgent tone that meant he probably assumed Bradford was being held somewhere at gunpoint.
Bradford took a deep breath and blurted, “Joanna said she loves me.”
“That’s what this is about?” Ian laughed, then coughed, then shut up.
Slamming his hands on his steering wheel, Bradford growled, “She makes me happy. Me. Happy. Like I am fucking smiling when I wake up in the morning and I can sleep like a regular person. The past two weeks have been fucking heaven. I haven’t watched the news, and I have no idea if the rest of the world still exists. If there’s shit going on anywhere, I don’t even know that I care. Being with her is that fucking good.”
“Okay.”
“I’ve met the farm’s veterinarian three times and I don’t even know his fucking last name. He said it. I didn’t hear him. I don’t care. I don’t even swear at the farm.”
“Wow.”
“I own a horse now. Or maybe I don’t. I don’t fucking know. I have goals for him and enjoy working with him. The more time I spend with Joanna, the more time I want to. The people at her farm are beginning to feel like—friends. Have I fucking lost my mind?”
“Is that a rhetorical question or am I allowed to answer?”
“I’m serious, Ian. I might be having a complete breakdown. If I am, I know too much for you to let me live. You need to fucking take me out if I get any worse.”
Ian chuckled. “I’m not taking you out because you fell in love.”
Bradford closed his eyes. “I thought love was supposed to feel good.”
“Uh,” Ian said, “it’s more complicated than that. It’s scary as hell to realize you care about someone else more than you care about yourself. What did you say when she told you she loved you?”
“Nothing.”
“That’s not the ideal response.”
“I know.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “That wasn’t even the worst part.”
“No?”
“She wants me to go to Iceland with everyone tomorrow.”
“I’ve heard about that trip. You should go. Dylan was disappointed that you declined.”
“Outside of the fact that I can only be around Clay for about ten seconds before I want to punch him in the head, my gut tells me it’s a bad idea. My gut is never wrong.”
“You don’t have to worry about Clay. When I heard he outed your address to the meatheads I took him aside and woke him up to a few harsh realities. One being what I’d do to him if he got you killed.”
Bradford sighed and conceded, “That was actually nice of you. Thanks.”
“I’m not sure what to make of this softer side of you. Remember when the Thing turned back into a man in the Fantastic Four? This is like that. I’m happy for you, but could I kick your ass now?”
“Thanks for being absolutely no help, Ian.” Bradford prepared to end the call.
“Wait. Sorry. Listen, Joanna is a wonderful woman. I’ve known you a long time and I’ve never seen you happy. If you feel for her half as much as I love Claire, it’s worth riding out the part where you feel out of control and wrong all the time. If you make it past that—there’s so much good stuff.”
“I already said no to Iceland.” And walked away. She’s probably furious.
“So, change your mind. You don’t have to fly over with Clay and everyone else. Get a private plane. Meet them there. I’m going to throw out this wild concept—compromise. That heaven you describe cannot be sustained without a whole lot of compromising. It’s worth it though. I’m proud of you, Bradford. Look at you—all grown up and not killing anyone.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Tell her how you feel then take her to Iceland. You’ve had a lot of shitty things happen to you. Let yourself have this.”
Images of Joanna looking up at him with unfiltered love in her eyes filled his thoughts. She didn’t hold back. When things got tough she didn’t sprint for her car and drive off. She deserved to be with a man who had the balls to stick around and tell her how he felt.
He put his car in drive, pulled out onto the road, and turned around. “Thanks, Ian. I know what I need to do now.”
Ian said, “Before I forget, there’s something I want
ed to ask about Daphne—”
“Whatever it is can wait, Ian. I need to do this right. Talk to you later.” Bradford ended the call without waiting for Ian’s response. He drove back to Joanna’s farm, back to the barn where he hoped she still was. As soon as he parked, she stepped into the driveway to meet him.
He exited his car and jogged over to about a foot from her. “Joanna.”
Her eyes were full of understanding. “It’s okay. I wasn’t looking at the trip from your perspective, just mine. I told Angelina I’m not going.”
He took both of her hands in his and took a deep breath. “What do you think of flying over, just you and me, and meeting them there? Clay does get under my skin, but Dylan is a good guy and—and—”
“And?” she asked breathlessly.
“And I may love you.”
Her smile was both kind and amused. “May?”
He pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. “Okay, I love you, Joanna. I’ve never felt this way for anyone and it scares the shit out of me, but I’ve also never been happier. Things with you are so good they don’t feel real yet. But it is real. And it’s time to take what we have out into the world.”
She framed his face with her hands. “If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.”
“Could you say it again?” she asked.
“Which part?”
“That you love me. Leave off the may part.”
“I love you.”
“Again?” She wrinkled her nose at him playfully.
“I love you.” It got a little easier each time he said it.
“Could you say it naked?”
He swept her off her feet, tossed her over his shoulder, and carried her toward the house. “I could definitely say it naked. More than once. Probably for hours.”
Chapter Fifteen
Joanna had never been on a private plane. There were definitely perks to it. No lines. No crying children. A male attendant was there to make sure they had everything they needed at all times. Nice. Not necessary. Joanna had flown many times with much less luxury and still enjoyed herself, still it was fun to be catered to.
Going away with Bradford right after he admitted he loved her felt monumental. On one hand it was romantic like some fairy-tale honeymoon. On the other hand, Joanna worried that it was another huge leap forward, one he might not be ready for.
They’d been a couple on her farm, but she’d avoided mixing him with Aly and Angelina because she didn’t want anything negative to mar what they had. That’s not healthy. If this is love and we really are moving forward together, then our friends have to be included.
Aly is concerned because she doesn’t know Bradford, but once she sees how happy I am with him she’ll change her mind about him. Angelina is used to seeing me break it off with men—she needs to see us together as well. This is the real deal.
I found my forever.
Joanna fell asleep with her head on Bradford’s shoulder and woke much later to the attendant speaking to Bradford. Whatever he’d said, Bradford didn’t look happy about it. “I didn’t request a change.”
Joanna sat up and stretched. “What’s wrong?”
“We’re being diverted to the island Clay’s friend owns. If Clay is messing with me already—”
“Relax. I’m sure there was just a change of plans. Maybe the group decided to go to the island first.”
Bradford sighed. “Possibly. I don’t like surprises though.” He took out his phone. “I’m not getting a signal.”
Joanna took out her phone. “Me either, but isn’t that normal while we’re in flight?”
“I have a satellite phone.”
“Oh.”
The attendant didn’t look concerned. “The local phone service carriers have been battling it out for this area. New towers are always going up. There’s been talk of jamming each other’s service bands illegally. It’s a problem.”
“Sounds like a big one.” Bradford put his phone down and went to stand. “I’ll have the pilot radio a call in for me.”
“We’re just about to land, sir. I was asked to make sure your seat belts were secure.”
Joanna said, “I’m sure everything is fine, Bradford. We’ll know what’s going on as soon as we land.”
“We’d better.” Bradford secured his belt.
From the plane window, Joanna appreciated the layout of the island that still functioned as a farm even as she prayed for a simple explanation for them changing locations. She gripped the armrests on both sides of her seat.
Bradford took her hand in his and bent to kiss her cheek. “I’m sorry. Old habits die hard. You’re right, this is a fun trip. Blips are nothing more than inconveniences.” He shook his shoulders. “See, I’m shaking them off.”
She smiled. “Even if Clay has arranged for us to have a little private time on the island, he means well. He did kind of bring us together. It might be fun to see what he’d come up with way out here.”
“I hate to give him credit for us.” Shaking his head, Bradford said, “You’re right, though. He did impress me with that tent. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with going along with whatever this is about.”
“Another adventure. You and me.” She kissed him.
The kiss heated up, but was cut short when the plane bounced as it touched down. “Either way, looks like we’re visiting the island first.”
“It’ll be fun.”
He kissed the palm of her hand. “If you’re here I know I’ll have a good time.” After the plane came to a stop they both unbuckled and gathered their things.
The caretaker of the island met them at the bottom of the plane’s steps and introduced himself as Egill. He was an older man with a short beard, a thick sweater, and a black knit cap. “Right on time. Góðan daginn. Excuse the rush, but I did not expect you tonight so there are things I need to ready. Come. Come. I will take you to the main house.”
Bradford helped the man load their luggage into the back of his small SUV. “Does the house have a phone I could use?”
“Of course. Come, I take you there now.”
Joanna was securing her seat belt when she heard Bradford swear. “What is it?”
He climbed in next to her. “I thought the plane was taxiing to park, but it took off. I don’t like that.”
Joanna jokingly shook her fist in the air and called out, “Clay Landon, you’ll pay for this. Fool me once—”
Bradford silenced her with a kiss. “You’re right. I can relax and enjoy myself as much as anyone else can.” He opened his window and breathed in the cool, fresh air. “We should have plenty of light. Maybe we can go for a walk. Check the place out.”
“That’s the spirit.”
With a smile, Bradford sat back and put his arm around Joanna. The island was large enough to have several buildings and a few pastures, but it didn’t take long to cross. They were soon at the house.
Joanna spotted horses, grabbed Bradford’s arm, and exclaimed, “Oh, look, they have Icelandics. Maybe we could go for a ride tomorrow.”
“Yes,” the caretaker said, “of course you can. I will get them ready for you in the morning. No problem. First, I will show you your room. If you are hungry there is food, although I did not have the cook come today because I thought you would be here next week. But it’s okay. I’ll make it work.”
“Clay’s slipping with his planning,” Bradford said.
Joanna snuggled to his side. “Maybe he thinks by now all you need is me.”
“And he’d be right.” His smile told her his mood was coming back around.
The house was bright yellow with white trim and lace curtains. Joanna was glad it wasn’t a mansion. The white picket fence flanking the house made it feel like they were traveling back in time to some 1950s sitcom neighborhood.
As they approached the house Joanna realized it was bigger than she’d thought. Additions had been built that matched and didn’t at the same time. Set back were a few b
uildings that looked like they might house animals and some kind of garage. Across a wide expanse of lawn there was a dock and a boat pulled up onto the grass.
When they parked, Bradford got out to help the caretaker carry their luggage in. Joanna gathered their coats and her purse then followed them into the house. The home was surprisingly modern—almost disappointing to see. Clay’s friend probably updated it without realizing how much of its charm would be lost. It was a beautiful home that felt a little like a hotel on the inside.
They followed Egill up a staircase. He said, “Use these stairs to come and go. On the other side of the hallway you will find stairs down to the kitchen. Use those if you get hungry. I’ll warm some soup for you.”
“Thank you,” Bradford said as he placed their luggage inside the door of the bedroom Egill told them was theirs. It was beautiful, but also updated to hotel level and a little out of place.
Egill pointed to the phone beside the bed. “If you need anything, dial zero zero and it rings me. Otherwise, settle in and come down to the kitchen when you are hungry. Night is very short here if you don’t close your curtains. The sun will set around midnight and come up again around three a.m.”
“Three a.m.” Bradford repeated the time. “We’ll close the curtains. I’m doing my best not to get up that early anymore.”
Joanna slipped under Bradford’s arm and hugged his side. “The good news is it’s light for so long. We’ll definitely have time to explore. After all that sitting I can’t wait to get outside. I need to freshen up first though.”
“You do that. I’d join you, but I want to contact the others to see if the plan is for them to meet us here or how long Clay thinks we need to enjoy this place solo.” He gave her a quick kiss before Joanna grabbed one of her bags and headed into the bathroom.
After closing the door she turned and leaned back against it. Bradford didn’t like the unexpected. It made sense that he wouldn’t. She wished she knew how to reassure him, but maybe only time could do that.
Reluctantly Rescued (The Barrington Billionaires, Book 9) Page 18