by Rachel Shane
I clamped a cold palm over my mouth. “Oh no! What are you going to do?”
“I’m moving in with Layla and Olivia. They’re letting me crash on the couch. Yay?”
My stomach squeezed. “You can abort the plan if you want. It’s not worth it.”
“What? Are you crazy? This is perfect!” She sounded thrilled. “It’ll be far easier to plant surveillance in both Layla’s room and the pledge house.”
“You’re a great friend,” I told her. “I owe you one.”
We hung up and I suffered through the most boring lecture on Media and Crisis Communication. Before I headed over to the newspaper office, I replenished my lipstick…and my perfume.
Genevieve’s door was already open, depriving me the chance to catch my nerves with a knock. And Harrison was already seated, leaning back casually. But of course he would feel comfortable around her. My mind flipped through a rolodex of awkwardness. He knew about my past. He had sex with Genevieve once. He held me all night.
It was that last thought my brain chose to focus on, remembering the peaceful look on his face when he finally drifted off.
I stumbled inside after Genevieve’s coaxing and tripped on my way to the only empty chair in front of her desk. Harrison reached out to steady me, fingers gripping my waist and burning through my several layers of clothing. Genevieve’s eyes flew to our connection but she kept her face rigid and stoic, not showing her cards. I plopped down in the chair and clutched the sides as if I were holding on for dear life on a roller coaster after my seatbelt snapped in half.
“Good, now we can start.” She leaned forward. Her hair was slicked back in her usual severe pony tail, which had always looked so classy to me but now I wondered if it was a vain attempt to appear younger. Attractive. Fuckable. Her caked on foundation hid the tiny wrinkles carving outward from her eyes and lips. But it was her hands that betrayed her age. No amount of lotion would prevent her from looking less than forty.
Harrison slept with her.
Of course that thought led me down a dangerous rabbit hole where I wondered if he was good in bed (likely, based on his finger prowess), if the two of us will engage in the same activity (inevitable), and what he looked like naked (I never did get to see in the ocean).
Genevieve opened a drawer and plucked out two creamy card stock envelopes. “As you may or may not know, the Dean’s Excellence awards are approaching.”
Harrison bolted upright, startling me.
“Each campus organization has been tasked to nominate two members, one male and one female, for various awards.” She slid the envelopes across her desk toward us. “Harrison, you’ve gone above and beyond for years now, so you were a natural choice.”
He grabbed the envelope and twisted it in his hands.
“And Bianca.” Genevieve turned on me. “You’ve only been with the paper a short time but you’ve made such a significant difference, I wanted to reward you. I’m guessing Harrison already told you about the raise?”
My pulse thumped. An award. One I’d earned on my own merit. I grabbed the envelope and clutched it to my chest. “Thank you,” I said, breathless.
She smiled. “You two make a great team.”
Harrison and I locked eyes and his lips curved in a small smile. We tore them open.
The Faculty and Administration
Of
Throckmorton University
Announce that
Bianca Cruz
Is nominated for the Mark of Excellence Award
For
Newspaper Journalism
At the
Fall Awards Banquet
Saturday, October Tenth
Eight o’clock in the evening
Banquet Hall
Goldberg Alumni & Faculty Center
Black Tie
“Whoa, that’s this coming Saturday?” I said.
Genevieve nodded. “Hence the urgent message. I was late getting my nominations in because I wanted to give the students from this semester a chance to impress me.” She smiled at me. “Most other organizations nominated based on last year’s achievements.” She drummed her fingers on her desk. “I expect full coverage of the event.”
We thanked Genevieve again and left her office at the same time. Harrison stared down at the invite. “Well, I wasn’t hated by everyone on campus yet. Now the rest of the newspaper staff can join in with their jealousy.”
I bit my lip. “People are going to be jealous?”
He nodded. “Every single person here wanted to be nominated.”
I groaned. I was making enemies left and right while my one actual enemy was turning into anything but.
He leaned against the wall in front of me. “So, black tie. That means I’ll be wearing a tuxedo. Will you be able to resist?” His signature smirk crested his mouth.
My lips quivered. I was pretty sure the answer to that was no, I will not. I lifted my chin. “My dress is really low cut. Will you?”
“I think we’re on the same wave length here.” A hungry look took over his eyes and his voice dropped to a whisper. “Last night, you told me a lot of things you’ve done. And a lot of things you haven’t. I’d love to help you even out the score if you want.”
My heart thumped at his insinuation. I cracked a smile.
“Let’s start with a date for the cocktail party and work our way up from there.” His eyes traced my body from my eyes to my knees. “Or should I say down?” With that he planted a quick peck on the tip of my nose, squeezed my hand, and let go. “I’ll pick you up at three.”
God, he was sexy. “Three? But the party doesn’t start until eight.”
“You let me into your life the other night by telling me about your past. Now it’s time for me to let you into mine. I want you to meet my sister.”
He strutted away, leaving me breathless and wanting more.
HOLY HELL DID HARRISON look good in a tuxedo. From the way his eyes bugged out at the sight of me, I knew he felt the same about my dress. I’d primped and groomed in all the ways I hadn’t done since my beauty pageant days. I even wore one of my old gowns, the one with the least amount of sparkles—just enough to draw his eyes to my biggest assets.
“You would have won anyway,” he said and for a moment, I squinted at him, trying to make sense of his words. Did he have advanced knowledge that I already lost tonight? There were a lot of people nominated in my category and I probably had the lowest chances. But the way his eyes traced my curves made the real gist of his words become clear. I would have won in the pageants without cheating.
My cheeks bloomed with red, which I blamed on the crisp blast of cold air. “Just so we’re clear, it was only the important pageants, less than a handful in total.” I’d been freaking out over the last few days that I hadn’t given him a specific number and maybe he was thinking my transgressions had reached high altitude.
He held up one hand, the other still hidden behind his back. “I told you, no judgements. Any word from your mom?”
“Nope, which is a good thing.” I hadn’t read the article Harrison had written but I’d stuffed it into the envelope before I chickened out and mailed both that and the short letter. Ever since the postman carted it away, I hadn’t felt the need to punch something.
Still, the way Harrison sounded so confident, so comfortable with my confession, warmed my belly. “Hold on, I have to get my jacket.”
“Wait.” He brought his hidden hand forward and presented me with a single red rose as if I were a contestant on The Bachelor. “I’m pulling out all the stops for the date today. Prepare to be swept off your feet.” With that he shrugged out of his tuxedo jacket. “I believe it’s customary to offer the woman your jacket?”
I took the rose but let him keep his jacket, then stepped back into the house. I shut the door behind me for a second and leaned against it, my heart ragged, my smile bursting onto my face. The rose smelled amazing and I waltzed toward the cabinet to find a glass of water in lieu of a vase.
>
Erin sauntered into the kitchen, took one look at me, and stopped dead. “I think I need to change my bet.”
I bit my lip. “You guys bet again?”
“Yep, and I had tonight after the banquet.” She shook her head at me. “But no way are you going to last that long.”
I stopped smiling at the rose. “We’re meeting his sister and then going to a formal cocktail party. With faculty and alumni! And the Dean!” His unfulfilled promise to kiss me a lot jumped to my mind. But there wouldn’t be time today. And I suspected he was trying to get me all hot and bothered by making me wait. It was working.
Erin fluttered around me, dancing in a circle with the grace of a ballerina. “That’s not going to stop you.”
I was worried she was right.
In the car, the GPS announced we’d arrive at our destination in an hour and seven minutes. I clutched the teddy bear in my lap that I’d brought for his sister. Suddenly the thought of going to Harrison’s home and meeting his family made my nerves jump. This was a big deal. Relationship level. I’d been worried all day about impressing the sister that means the world to him that I completely ignored the fact that one of his parents would be there too. And I knew how hard certain parents were to impress. “Who does Lily live with? Your mom or your dad?”
“Neither.” He glanced at me, eyes locking on my knitted brow. “She’s in an Assisted Living Center in Utica.”
I blinked at him as my mind flashed on him coming in late to a newspaper staff meeting and announcing, “visiting hours” as his excuse. I’d assumed he had a sick grandparent or something. Or was hitting up the prison for a breaking news story.
“Is she okay?” I held my breath waiting for the answer, my heart hammering in hope that she was.
His knuckles tightened on the wheel. “No. I mean, I guess. For now. But she won’t be completely okay until I can get her out of there for good.” He tilted his head toward me. “Remember when you asked me if I had a kid because you found the custody folder?”
It was the day of the Out House party, when I’d sneaked up to his room. “Yeah.”
“I—” He swallowed. Whatever he was trying to say, it seemed to be hard for him to get out. We were on a long stretch of straight, empty highway so I grabbed his hand from the wheel and threaded my fingers through. He’d been there for me the other night, I wanted to be here for him now. “I sued for custody when I turned eighteen. Of my older sister.”
Older sister? I glanced down at the bear in my lap, then started to toss it in the back.
He held up a hand to stop me. “Bring it. She’ll be excited.”
A million questions jumped to my mind. “I’m confused.”
“Let me back track a bit. She has autism, a severe form of cerebral palsy, plus a few other developmental problems.”
I sucked in a breath. When he strung it together like that, it sounded pretty bad.
“Some things are harder for her than others. Like, she’s in a wheelchair and can’t bathe herself but can dial a phone and hold a fork.” His shoulders rattled. “She has speech impediments and behavioral issues that cause her to act like a child, but to me, she’s perfect.”
Outside the window, a stretch of gray sky loomed, heavy and oppressive with the promise of snow.
“Growing up, a nurse would care for her until I got home from school and then Lily would be my responsibility. My parents are corporate big wigs who rarely came home before ten. They went through a nasty divorce when I was fifteen and Lily was twenty. Neither of them wanted the burden of being the sole guardian of my sister.”
“That’s awful.” My heart hurt for the poor girl. For Harrison.
His jaw twitched. “Long story short, the agreed upon arrangement was an Assisted Living home they both split the bill on. Somehow they’ve convinced themselves she’s getting the proper care and attention she deserves. But she’s not. She deserves better.”
I circled my thumb over the back of his hand.
“So when I turned eighteen, I sued for guardianship. But I lost because I had no way to support her.” His throat cracked. “I knew the best way to be able to do that was to go to college and get a good job. Once I graduate, I’m going to sue again, move her in with me, and get a nurse during the day. I’m going to give her a family again.”
His extreme overachieving nature suddenly made sense. He had to be the best at everything, not for him, but so he could ensure he’d be able to get Lily what she needed. “She’s lucky to have you.”
I was starting to think I was lucky too.
Splendor Falls Assisted Living Center was a drab gray building that splintered off into several identical wings. A line of residents in wheelchairs stared at a TV in a common room surrounded by big bay windows. Nurses in purple scrubs weaved in and out of rooms. Harrison breezed past them, offering waves to everyone. “Hey, Sharon,” he said to one nurse. “Hi Bill, how was vacation?” he asked a doctor. They all greeted him by name. Our formal wear seemed entirely out of place but no one even batted an eye.
Harrison carried a bouquet of gorgeous flowers and I gave him points for picking out such a vibrant arrangement.
He knocked on an open door and announced, “Lily Belle!” before swinging his head around. I followed behind, bear dangling in my hands, my heels clacking on the linoleum floor and sounding as loud as bombs to my ears. The entire place was silent, save for the struggle or grump from one of the patients. I’d graced the stage of dozens of pageants without an ounce of nerves, but here sweat pooled in my armpits and my pulse thumped as the beaming smile dripped off the girl’s face and hardened at the sight of me.
She was sitting in her wheelchair by the window, a pink knitted blanket covering her legs. Dark cropped hair framed her face, her head hanging at an unnatural tilt, muscles twitching. Still, she was beautiful, the kind of natural beauty that was always absent at fake make-up heavy pageants. Flowers covered every inch of the room and Harrison squeezed the new bouquet along the window, replacing an arrangement that was turning brown on the edges. Snow globes littered a shelf above the bed and Harrison went around shaking every single one while Lily looked on in amazement, tearing her hard stare away from me.
I stood in the doorway as he bent down and wrapped her in a hug. Her arms hung limply at her sides and she resumed her glare at me above his shoulder. He must have noticed because he broke away from her and raked his hand through his hair. “Lily, this is the girl I told you about. Bianca.”
My heart thumped. He told her about me? I strode forward, offering my hand for her to shake. It hovered in the air awkwardly for a moment, and a jolt of fear spiked through me that maybe she wasn’t capable of shaking hands. So I bent down in my low cut dress and wrapped my arms around her shoulders.
She pushed me away violently.
I scrambled backward, holding the bear in front of my chest like a shield. “Sorry!”
Harrison shook his head at her and clucked his tongue. “That wasn’t nice.”
Lily ducked her head like a child being reprimanded. She whispered something that sounded like the word, “scared.” Right before she started screaming uncontrollably.
Harrison pulled up a chair next to her and took her hands. While she kept screaming, he remained unfazed and began singing the same song he’d sung into the phone at the football game. After the second verse, Lily stopped screaming and closed her eyes.
I wasn’t sure what to do. There was only one chair in the room and Harrison was currently sitting in it. It didn’t seem appropriate to sit on the mechanical bed.
Harrison finished his song. “Nothing’s scary, I promise. Keep your eyes closed for another second.” With the tilt of his chin, he gestured for me to come closer.
I pulled my heels off for fear of startling Lily with the clacking and tiptoed toward them. When I reached them, he pulled me onto his lap, resting his chin on my shoulder. It felt good to be in his arms again but it felt even better to grab Lily’s hand and squeeze.
&
nbsp; Harrison placed his hand on top of our joined ones. “Okay, Lily Belle. You can open your eyes now.”
Her eyes popped open, landing first on Harrison, then on me. They widened and her mouth opened to scream.
“See?” he said in the most soothing voice. “Bianca’s okay. You can trust her.” Then he lowered his voice to whisper in my ear. “I know I do.”
He’d trusted me to meet his sister, and from her reaction, I suspected that was not something he did very often.
“I brought you a present,” I whispered, keeping my voice low.
Lily flailed, wrenching her hands from ours, and for a moment I raised mine in the air in surrender again. But she was just excited. And when I handed her the teddy bear, she wrapped her arms around it.
Harrison squeezed my hand and we shared a quick smile.
Here we were, sitting in a care facility out of place in a tuxedo and a formal dress, outcasts on campus thanks to Harrison’s rogue status and my sorority’s probation, and yet somehow it felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
ON THE DRIVE BACK to campus, we stopped at a swanky bistro where we ordered a selection of tapas ranging from my fave, cheese quesadillas, to his fave, buffalo chicken wings, and then split a brownie sundae for dessert. The conversation never stopped flowing, mostly about Lily. He didn’t ask about my mom and I was grateful. Mailing the letter gave me a kind of closure I’d never felt before. He paid for the meal and held the car door for me like a true gentleman. When we got back to campus, Harrison laced his fingers with mine and jutted his chin toward the night sky. “For those keeping score at home, there’s the moonlight.” He jutted his chin toward a clearing sky. “And that’s two down on your list already. Plus one that wasn’t even on it: meeting my family.”
Which left only two more…oral sex and boyfriend.
We didn’t stop holding hands until we reached the coat closet and I shrugged out of my jacket. He hung it up for me and we slipped into the party, keeping our hands to ourselves. It was the right thing to do in this situation but suddenly my palm felt empty without his. Champagne was being served but we had to play by the rules, so he brought me a Diet Coke. Pretty vases blooming with flowers littered the room and tea lights sparkled. We stood in small circles of people engaged in a competition of humble brags.