“I love you too, Mackenzie.” She squeezed my hand gently. “I’m happy I had you as a daughter for a little bit.”
I smiled and blinked quickly to dissuade the tears prickling at my eyes. I was ready to tell her that fourteen years wasn’t a little bit when the door opened, drawing my attention.
Reid stood in the opened doorway. His gaze fell on me, his features surprised and a bit hesitant. We’d not seen each other since that day in the guest room, so the sight of him now made me hyper aware of his presence. Worse yet, Vera’s words were still on my mind, awarding me an extraordinary amount of hope I shouldn’t have.
I scrambled to my feet from Vera’s bed and planted a quick kiss on her cheek.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” I mumbled as I grabbed up my bag and hurried out the door.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Reid
I didn’t spend long with my mother. We had a chat interspersed with some jokes, and she reminisced on the past—mainly where it involved my dad.
I didn’t know why she brought up that sonofabitch. Last I’d heard, he was rotting away in prison on assault charges. My mother and I had had an unspoken agreement to talk as little about him and the horror he’d put us through for years. Yet for some reason, all she talked about during most of my visit were the times when he was less of a dick to her.
She said she forgave him and that I should too, but I couldn’t make her that promise. I didn’t have quite as big a heart as she did yet. If I ever would.
“You should take better care of Mackenzie,” she said as I bent to kiss her on the cheek.
I straightened and watched her, hoping she couldn’t see my guilt. I’d taken care of Mackenzie, alright. A bit more than was acceptable as a matter of fact. Even less acceptable: if I ever had the chance to go back in time and do the right thing, I wouldn’t. I’d savour Mac’s body all over again.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I frowned. “Did Mac tell you I was mistreating her?”
“No, she didn’t say anything.” She coughed, the sound jarring and tightening my heart with worry. I rubbed her shoulder, feeling useless. When the coughing subsided, she patted my hand and gave me a tired smile. “I know you, darling. You’re too stubborn.”
“Maybe I got that from you.”
“That’s true, but at least I’m not blind.”
“Mom, I’m great at putting together clues, but I suck at riddles. Spit it out.”
She shook her head, a secretive smile on her lips.
“Someday you’ll come around and see.”
“Alright, mom. Maybe you’ll tell me what you’re talking about tomorrow when I see you again.” I bent and gave her another kiss on the cheek then left.
I made my way to the cafeteria. I was hungry and in desperate need of coffee even though the fare offered at the hospital wasn’t the greatest. A few spots near the head of the line for coffee stood Mac. I would have thought she’d be long gone from the hospital judging from the speed in which she’d left my mother’s room once I arrived.
I hadn’t seen her since our…incident. And in the following days, I missed her. If a mind was a person, it would be a real asshole. Despite how many times I tried to forget about what had happened, my mind wouldn’t let me. Instead it served up all the images of Mac’s beautiful face, her sweet voice, her gorgeous body beneath my hands, the sexy sounds she made, the amazing sensations of her coming hard on my cock. Worst of all, it promised significant unrest if I didn’t have Mac again.
It was probably a bad idea, but I had to be near her. So I approached her.
“Mind if I cut the line?”
She jerked her head in my direction, giving me a nervous smile.
“I don’t. But I bet all the other people behind me might want to kick your ass if you do it.”
I shrugged. “Fuck them.”
Her face turned a soft pink. Perhaps my choice of words was not ideal. Then again, the thought that she was thinking about what we did turned me on.
Quit it. Get it together, man.
At our turn, I ordered us both our coffees. Outside, we sat on a bench beneath a tree, sipping on our drinks. Blunt question time: how did you talk to a woman you fucked, a woman you kinda probably definitely had serious feelings for? I was way out of my depth. Most of my relationships with women often ended the morning after the semi-drunk fucking. But this was different on so many levels. Thankfully, Mac decided to break the quiet.
“How did you know I wanted the hazelnut creamer?” she asked, watching me over the lip of her cup as she took a sip.
“You’ve always had a thing for hazelnut.” I smiled, relieved the conversation focused on a lighter topic. I didn’t think I could handle any serious talks about what we’d done and the repercussions involved. “You even called yourself the Hazelnut Slut a few times.”
She laughed. “Wow, I can’t believe you remember that. I wonder what else you remember about me.”
“I’ve been gone for a while, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten the good times we shared.” I smirked at her. “Like the time you hit me in the back of the head with a rock. Intentionally, I might add.”
She laughed again, the sound soft and pleasant. I loved the way she’d sort of cover her mouth when she laughed, like she was conscious of being noisy. The urge to pull her up against me and kiss her was so strong, I had to squeeze my coffee cup a little firmer than was advisable.
“It was not intentional. I flung it wide but somehow you got hit! We were arguing about…something. I can’t remember. But most likely you were being an irritating ass.”
“So, of course, you hit me with a stone to the head to cure my irritating ways,” I supplied. Then I motioned at the back of my head. “I still have a tiny bald patch, you know. Now I can never get a proper buzz cut because of you.”
“Let me see.”
She set her coffee down on the bench and scooted closer. She smelled like something sweet and fruity. Strawberries. Maybe peaches. My cock hardened at her close warmth and delicious smell. When I showed her where the bald patch resided, she sifted her fingers through my hair. I shivered and closed my eyes for a second, scraping at the absolute bottom of the well of my willpower to resist touching her too.
“There?” She probed the spot, her eyes light brown in the clear day as she gazed up at me.
“Yeah, there,” I said softly.
She wanted to kiss me. I could see it in the way her gaze dipped to my mouth, her face colouring, her breathing a little faster. I waited for her to do it, willing her closer. My silent pleas paid off. She leaned forward, her lips brushing mine by just a hair, then a little more firmly, her soft lips pressing against my mouth. I set my coffee down and reached for her. But then the tinny sound of her cellular phone rang out, bringing us back to reality.
She pulled back and dug out her phone from her bag.
“Hey Dad—” she began, then her face creased in worry. “I’m at the hospital. Why?”
I watched as her face morphed from worry to confusion before settling on disbelief. She launched to her feet, covering her mouth as she shook her head.
“No…no, that’s not possible. I was just with her.” Tears welled in her eyes. I got to my feet as well, dread heavy and thick on my chest. “It’s not possible. I’m going back to see her right now.”
She hung up the phone and spun to face me, her face wet with tears.
“Reid.” Her lips quivered as though something within tried to prevent her from talking.
“What?” I gripped her shoulders. I swallowed and then swallowed again. Some kind of lump was lodged inside my throat. “What is it?”
I didn’t have to ask because I knew what she was going to say. I didn’t want to hear it. I wanted that when Mac opened her mouth, she’d have something entirely different to say.
She closed her eyes and shook her head but the tears wouldn’t stop falling.
“Vera…Vera’s gone.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Reid
Whenever I drove these days, I’d notice graveyards.
In the past, I’d drive by them and not give a shit because there was always that subconscious habit in humans to put anything related to death at the back of the brain. Nobody wanted to dwell on their mortality or that of their loved ones. But, yeah, I’d notice the graveyards ever since I heard my mother was dying. I’d glance at the gravestones and the general grassy area and quietly wonder if it would be the perfect fit for my mother.
Today, as I stood beneath a large shade tree and watched my mother being buried, I gazed across the expansive green and the gentle slopes dotted with trees and hoped I’d made the right choice.
My mother was gone. Dead. A few weeks later and I’d only just come to a marginal acceptance of that fact. For years it had just been the two of us. Along the way, Harry and Mackenzie came into our lives but it had always still felt like it was just us against the world. But then my feelings for Mac got in the way. It was too much for me to handle and I left. And even though I’d kept up communication with her, I’d abandoned her. Only returning when it was too late.
I was spiralling down to that dark, negative place of self-loathing and anger again. But a gentle touch on my arm brought me back to the present. Mac gazed up at me with a sad smile on her face.
“Your mother loved you,” she said quietly. “She was always proud of you, Reid. Don’t forget that.”
It was not the first time she’d said those things to me. She seemed to always know when the dark thoughts were hitting me the hardest. Harry and I were absolute wrecks whereas Mac was like the lone support stand, holding us up from totally falling down.
My mother’s death affected her too. It was obvious in the deep sadness in her eyes or the way her voice would waver and her body tremble when she talked about my mother. Harry and I had been useless, but Mac had been the one to get almost everything organized to give my mother a proper burial.
“Everyone’s heading back to the house. Are you coming or do you want to stay here for a while?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m gonna stay here a bit longer. I’ll meet you guys there soon.”
She opened her mouth as though she wanted to say more, but she closed it and shook her head, squeezing my hand gently.
“See you soon.”
As I watched her walk away, her curly hair and the skirt of her black dress waving in the soft breeze that blew by, I remembered some of my mother’s last words to me.
You should take better care of Mackenzie.
I would, mom. But right now, Mackenzie was taking better care of me.
By the time I got back to the house, night had fallen and everyone had left. I found Mac in the kitchen drinking a glass of water.
“Are you hungry? There’s stuff left over from the caterers.”
“Nah, I’m good.” I leaned against the counter, watching her. She looked exhausted. I wanted to hold her in my arms and let her rest her head against my chest. “You should get some rest.”
“Can’t yet,” she said as she set her glass in the sink. “I have to make sure Dad’s OK.” She gave me a tired smile as she went past me. “I have to tuck him in. Be right back.”
I remained in the kitchen until the quiet and the memories of my mother, alive and healthy puttering about this same room forced me back outside. I leaned against the porch railings and stared at the vivid night lights of downtown Seattle in the distance.
“The city is so pretty at night,” said Mac, coming to stand beside me. “I like to take Betsy and grab a few shots now and then.”
“You should see Japan during their Shogatsu festival. Stunning.”
“God, I’ve always been so jealous of you. You’re living my dream, except without the chasing after bad guys part.” She let out a soft sigh. “I want to travel the world and take lots of awesome pictures.”
It took everything I had not to blurt out that she should come with me to France. The more I thought about it, the better the idea sounded. But I held back. The probability of her saying no was high because of the tiring events of the day, and I didn’t have it in me to withstand her rejection. Besides, maybe it wasn’t that great of an idea. Being alone with her in a foreign country where nobody knew our history would be too tempting.
“I’m heading back to France the day after tomorrow,” I said instead.
She tore her gaze away from the city view and stared up at me with wide eyes.
“So soon?”
I shrugged. “Mom is gone, so I guess I have to get back to work.”
A look of disappointment came into her eyes, but it was so fleeting, I doubted it ever happened. She looked away from me, a serene expression on her face as she gazed on the city again.
Her sudden silence unnerved me. She shivered and rubbed her arms and I removed my blazer and draped it around her shoulders.
“Better?”
“Yes.” She smiled up at me, her eyes black and mysterious in the night’s gloom.
Then she hugged me. Her hands snaked around my sides, squeezing me in a tight embrace. She pressed her face against my shoulder, her breath warm even through my shirt when she breathed. The hug took me by surprise but I recovered and coiled my hands around her body, holding her against me too.
If I wasn’t supposed to have her, then why did she fit so perfectly in my arms? Why did it feel like holding her against me was exactly where we were meant to be? I clung to her tighter and pressed my face against her hair, inhaling the flowery scent of her shampoo. I never wanted this moment to end. I never wanted to let her go.
Yet she was pulling away and I had no choice but to relinquish my hold.
“I think it’s time I head to bed. I don’t know when I’ll see you again so have a safe flight.”
She raised up on her toes and gave me a quick, unsatisfactory peck on the cheek. What the fuck was that? That wouldn’t do at all.
“I think we can do better than that.”
I wrapped my hands around her body again and kissed her. Her response was immediate. Desperate. She pushed me along further than I’d intended to go and I went with her gladly. She held onto me. Gripped me. Kissed me like this was her last golden chance and she was taking as much as she could until she was no longer allowed to.
Every touch of her tongue to mine made my cock harder. I grabbed her backside possessively, pulling her tight so she could feel exactly what she did to me. She moaned into my mouth and the sexy sound drove me crazy with desire. I’d been inside her once and I wanted to do it all over again right here, right now.
When our kiss broke, I held her in my arms still and relished the feel of her quick breathing on my lips. My dick was painfully hard, straining against my pants, begging for her attention.
I love you. Realizing how much I wanted to tell her that, how much I meant it scared me shitless. So I let her go and took a step back. She was my stepsister. This would never work. I had to forget and let go.
“Sleep well,” I said.
Her lips were pink and pouty from our kiss. It took the willpower of a saint to resist kissing her again. She clutched the front of the blazer together, her features sad yet accepting.
“You too.”
I hurried to my car before my cock made me change my mind. As I drove away, I kept her in my sights until I could no longer see her standing on the porch.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Mackenzie
5 months later
I stepped out of the shower and reached for my towel to dry my face. Today was Parent/Teacher day at the school and I’d been given a day off. Desiree had bugged me to go out shopping but I’d declined. Instead I’d spent most of the morning tending to Vera’s garden.
She’d been gone for nearly half a year and while the pain of losing her still lingered, it didn’t hurt as much. I suppose it was because she’d spent so long in the hospital, Dad and I had grown accustomed to living without her. Dad had recovered from losing her to an extent. But there wer
e still moments when it was clear he missed her terribly.
I wrapped the towel around me and moved to brush my teeth. Mid-spit, I heard the doorbell rang.
Ugh. Who could it be disturbing my peaceful day off? Dad wasn’t set to be home for many hours yet. And he wouldn’t ring the door bell either since it was his house. Probably a door-to-door salesman or someone from a religious organization.
Wait. Or it could be the delivery guy bringing me that battery grip for Betsy. That delivery company was unreliable as hell. If I didn’t hurry down there right this second, the driver would slap a ‘pick up delivery at location’ slip and hustle off to somewhere else. It was a wonder he’d even bothered to get out of his truck in the first place.
Clad in my fluffy pink towel, my hair in unflattering wet clumps, I scampered downstairs to the front door. I flung it open, expecting the surly stare of a delivery man. Instead I found Reid.
“Hey, Mac.”
The sight of him was like a punch to the gut, robbing me of air. Dressed in a sweater and dark jeans, he looked the same like if he’d never left.
“What are you doing here?” fired out of my mouth before I could stop it.
He smiled and pushed his hands into his pants pockets. The glare from outside cast his face in a shadow and gave his features a mysterious tint.
“Hm. I thought you’d be happy to see me.”
Happy? I wasn’t sure that was the exact emotion I felt. My heart raced like a whipped horse, careening forward. If there was a word for excited, terrified, ecstatic and confused all rolled into one, then I was it.
I held onto the doorknob tighter. “That still doesn’t answer my question.”
“I came back for something.”
My heart did a little leap then fell back to the ground, still racing.
“What did you come back for?”
“My blazer.”
Silence.
Gripped: A Stepbrother Romance (Bonus Story: Stepbrother Forbidden) Page 5