“I caught two rainbow trout and they were this size,” he said whilst holding his hands out (ten foot apart) to demonstrate how big they were and staring at us all for approval. Robbie was standing behind him (holding his hands five foot apart) looking on proudly in the manner of a pleased mentor and both of them looked as if they’d had a successful day.
Frankie and Owen were getting ready to leave as they were going to make their way up to the hotel before us and book in for the night (squeaky mattresses and noisy headboards all round then!). Luke, Mammy and I were going to go to the Piano Bar in Monroe Manor for a drink. Gabriel was going to have a hot shower, clean himself up and join us later with Robbie and Donal who were going home and then calling back to the cottage to collect him. I was bloody exhausted just listening to it all.
“This must be what life is like in your house,” I commented to Frankie after we had made our extensive plans.
“It’s worse,” Frankie said wryly. “At least adults try to be agreeable and are usually ready on time and don’t need to go everywhere accompanied by a handheld computer game.”
“Rather you than me, love.”
When we arrived at the hotel we were greeted by Aisling who was grinning from ear to ear and gave us a very warm welcome.
“What have you done to our leader?” she asked, talking out of the side of her mouth. “She’s been acting like a scalded cat since you spoke to her and there have been lots of meetings behind closed doors. She’s also started to take long walks round the car park and she’s been seen looking into parked cars and acting very strange.”
“Really? I’m so sorry to hear that she’s feeling out of sorts.”
“That’s maybe not a bad thing. She’s so wrapped up in herself that she has no time to harass the rest of us. Life has been quite peaceful actually. It’s like old times again.”
“Glad to be of service, my dear. What time do you finish work? Can you join us for a drink?”
“I’m afraid we’re not allowed to drink on the premises,” Aisling answered. “New rules. Staff lower the tone of the place apparently.”
“What a cow,” I said, getting worked up again. “She really does think she rules the world, doesn’t she?”
“Well, she certainly thinks she has total control over this place anyway and I’m not arguing – not with a mortgage and car payments every month.”
“Maybe we can arrange to meet somewhere else another night. What about going down to the Smugglers’ Inn sometime?” I suggested.
“I take it you haven’t heard the news then?” Aisling said. “The Smugglers’ Inn was robbed last night. Two men went in after closing time just as the barmen were counting the takings and locking up. They were tied up and the place was ransacked. It’s in a terrible mess apparently. They broke all the glasses and mirrors, smashed tables and chairs and, as for the drink, I don’t think they left a bottle of anything intact. It’ll take them weeks to sort out the damage apparently so I’d say they’ll be closed for the foreseeable future.”
“That’s terrible,” I said worriedly. “Do me a favour and don’t mention any of this to my mother. She’s bound to hear sometime but I’d rather it was later rather than sooner. She thinks the culprits have been arrested and that’s that. I just don’t want her worrying even though she has had a burglar alarm fitted and assures me she’ll be fine.”
“She won’t hear it from me,” Aisling assured me. “It’s an awful shame though. The Smugglers’ Inn had just been done up and was looking really well. They were doing a roaring trade and it was a popular spot with tourists and people just passing through. From a purely selfish point of view I’m also a bit fecked off that I’m going to have nowhere to have a wee beverage of a weekend now. Not, mind you, that it matters in the grand scale of things.”
“Of course it matters,” I said. “You should be allowed to enjoy yourself as much as everyone else!”
At that point Judith came in. She looked uneasy at my presence and quickly walked into her office and sharply banged the door.
“That’s all she does these days,” Aisling said. “Always hiding behind that door and she is seriously nervy. I went in to give her a message the day before yesterday and she nearly jumped six foot in the air and swallowed her tongue. She was on the phone and writing stuff down but she practically flung herself across the table to hide whatever it was when she saw me coming in.”
“Well, I’m no detective but I’d say she has a lot to hide,” I said thoughtfully. “You said that her father is a tycoon and into buying and selling property and businesses. Who knows what his plans are and how legal they are, come to think of it?”
“Oh, knowing them, whatever they do they’ll get away with it. Her father is a highly respected businessman with lots of contacts and there have been plenty of bigwigs hanging around lately to prove it.”
“Really?” I said. “I wonder why?”
“Yeah, lots of suits coming and going and whisperings and meetings.”
“What are you two talking about?” Mammy demanded, coming from the bar to find me. “Are you coming for a drink later, Aisling?”
“She can’t,” I snapped, looking straight at Judith who had just reappeared and was looking nastily at me. “The Gestapo won’t allow it or perhaps I should call them the secret police. Only problem with secrets is that they come out eventually.”
Judith held my gaze and then slowly and deliberately turned away with her nose in the air but not before I detected a slight hint of fear in her eyes. She was up to something. She knew it and I knew it and it wouldn’t be long before everyone else would know as well.
I looked at Mammy and how animated she appeared as she rejoined the company in the bar and sipped from a glass of wine and laughed at something Luke had said. Her happiness was everything to me and I wouldn’t let anything come between her and it. Judith had better watch out. She simply didn’t know who she was dealing with or what lengths I was prepared to go to, to ensure my mother was content.
Chapter 42
“Once Ruby stops looking so ferocious maybe she might tell us what she would like to drink,” Mammy said, studying me intently which annoyed the shite out of me.
“What are you staring at?” I demanded.
“I think it’s more about what you’re staring at,” she said, making a face at the barman who was standing waiting to take my order.
“I’ll have a vodka and Diet Coke, please, and a hurley-stick to smack that silly cow up the mouth with,” I responded without taking my eyes off Judith who was continuing to strut in the reception area like a peacock, in between acting like Hitler with the staff and grimacing badly at the guests.
“The vodka and Diet Coke I can do,” the bow-tied and apron-attired barman answered with a wry smile. “Don’t worry. I’ve fantasised about hitting her a smack as well. I don’t know what your gripe is but around here we have plenty.”
I stared at him open-mouthed before raising my eyes and turning myself around so that I was facing him fully. “So it’s not just me that she has that effect on then,” I commented. “She turns me into a psychotic maniac every time I see her.”
At this point everyone else around me started to snigger.
“She’s usually very calm, y’know, is our Ruby,” Frankie said. “She’d never be one for overreacting or acting like a madwoman in the grand scale of things.”
“She’d certainly never threaten anyone,” Luke added.
“Or want anyone dead,” Gabriel uttered. He had just arrived looking as splendiferous as usual in a get-up you’d probably find in Elton John’s maddest stage wardrobe minus the crazy glasses. Robbie and Donal positively faded into the background beside him in cords and shirts (and were trying to act as if they didn’t know him by walking slowly behind him, whistling as they went).
“Feck away off, you lot,” I said briskly. “I only half mean it usually but this time I’m deadly serious.”
“Or just deadly,” Gabriel said, batting his
eyes and eyelashes (which were lined with more eyeliner than any of his three female counterparts) at the barman who was returning his gaze and grinning.
“Gabriel or you can call me Gay for short,” Gabriel said, proffering his hand.
“My name’s Darryl but people usually call me ‘gay’ for short as well,” responded the barman.
I was astounded. Gabriel must have a ‘gay in the vicinity’ radar as the barman looked totally straight to me – but then what did I know? Once they came out of the proverbial closet they must be taught how to give off a special signal, I decided, watching as Gabriel and Darryl continued to hold each other’s gaze while everyone else grinned happily.
“Are you from around here?” Frankie asked, addressing the barman with great gusto.
“No. I’m from a little village in west Donegal actually.”
“Where they don’t like gay boys and you were told to get out or else face the wrath of the church choir,” Gabriel added.
“You know me well,” Darryl commented, seemingly unshocked at Gabriel’s insight.
“Have you two met before?” I asked in confusion.
“Nope,” Gabriel answered confidently. “It just makes good sense to me that that would be why he had left. Small villages are notoriously small-minded and –”
“Not good at accepting that a young man wouldn’t want to settle down with a nice girl and have a family and be sickeningly normal,” Darryl finished in what was now becoming a very camp voice (did he sound like that from the start or was I now just imagining it? . . . hmmmm . . . ).
“Oi, when you two are quite finished making eyes at each other and finishing each other’s sentences maybe we could get our drinks,” I said in my most important voice. “And don’t knock normal. Sometimes it’s good to lead a quiet life.”
“If you’re that way inclined,” Gabriel said.
“But some of us aren’t. Some of us –”
“Like playing for the other team?” my mother said.
“Yes, we play for the very happy pink team whilst the rest of you play for the –”
“Very ordinary grey team,” I said. “Yeah yeah, I get it. Darryl, why don’t you go and get our drinks and then come back and tell me why Bitch Features in reception annoys you so much?”
“No can do unfortunately,” he said. “I’m already getting the evil eye because I’ve been standing here talking to you for far too long.”
“But I want to hear more,” I whined.
“Why don’t you come to the art gallery with us?” my mother suggested, looking for all the world like the cat that got the cream (or Cilla Black perhaps). “That way you two boys can get to know each other better.”
“Very smooth, Mother,” I said once Darryl had gone back to the bar to fulfil our order with Gabriel skipping gaily (no pun intended, you understand) after him to apparently “help carry all the drinks down”. “You’re as subtle as a flying brick, you know.”
“Ach sure, it’s just lovely seeing him meet a wee friend.”
“A wee friend, Mammy. He’s gay and thirty-something not five, in case you hadn’t noticed.”
“Oh shut up, Ruby, and just be happy and stop glowering all the time. Honestly, you can give the dirtiest looks on the planet. God knows where you –”
“Get it from. Yes, Mother, God knows. Excuse me while I go and get some air,” I snapped before marching out of the bar to the front door.
I wished that I smoked as I looked at a few others who were standing around a gas heater and enjoying a cigarette. It looked like something that might relax me. What the hell was I doing getting myself all worked up again? What exactly was I annoyed about? Was I in a bad mood because bloody Judith was being a twat as usual or was I pissed off because my mother had again reminded me that I was acting in a certain way that she didn’t recognise which was obviously attributed to Mrs Desertion herself, my birth mother.
“Ruby, come back inside. We’re ready to order the food,” Frankie said gently as she appeared through the door.
“I’ve done it again, haven’t I?” I said in sheer annoyance. “If I bend over could you possibly kick my arse for me? Why do I keep doing this? I’m not a super-sensitive person but any mention or hint about me being different makes me mad.”
“You didn’t know before what you know now, Ruby,” Frankie said. “Give yourself a break.”
“I keep taking things out on her when I shouldn’t,” I said mournfully. “Mammy’ll bear a close resemblance to a human punch-bag before this situation has resolved itself, if it ever feckin does.”
“Of course it will and your mammy understands. She knows how difficult it is and she didn’t mean anything by what she said in there. She wasn’t trying to be insulting towards you – it was just a common turn of phrase.”
“I know that. I’m just behaving like a complete prat as usual. And speaking of prats, here comes another one.”
Judith had just come through a side door and was deep in conversation with a balding man in a suit.
“Yes, it’s got a lot of potential,” she said as she flicked her hair and looked engagingly at her companion, therefore not noticing us. “But it’ll be worth a lot more by the time we’re finished. There are a few problems that need taking care of, but I’m sure we’ll have them ironed out soon.”
They smiled conspiratorially at each other and then got into a fancy sports car, leaving Frankie and me looking after them in shock.
“Did that bitch just threaten to iron me?” I asked Frankie.
“I don’t know but it certainly seems as if she’s up to something and who was he?”
“One of the suits who’s been hanging around obviously.”
“I wonder if she’s getting extra friendly with him to ensure she gets what she wants,” Frankie said, clicking her teeth and shaking her hands like she was holding a set of reins.
“Don’t,” I said pretending to gag. “You’ll make me regurgitate my dinner before I’ve eaten it. Lucky man. I wonder if he realises what he’s letting himself in for.”
At that point Luke joined us outside and Frankie discreetly decided to leave, after giving me another squeeze.
“All right?” he asked, putting his arm around me.
He looked weary. Probably sick and tired of me acting like a neurotic eejit all the time lately. I was sure that it must be incredibly tiring for him as I knew that I was knackered from constantly being on edge and subsequently taking the hump where none was intended.
“Top of the world,” I responded with a sigh. “Look, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m grand now. I’ve had my wee moment and now I’m going to go in and apologise to Mammy again. I think I’ll start every future conversation with an apology and that way it’ll save time. It’s all I seem to do.”
“It’s bound to be confusing, Ruby, but we’ll get through it! That’s what I’m here for after all. For better, for worse, for always.”
“For your sins,” I added before kissing him and accompanying him back inside.
Chapter 43
I motioned for Mammy to come to the bathroom with me before I sat down again. The others were all intently studying menus and pretending not to notice that I’d just reappeared, even though I could see Robbie trying to look at me through the corner of his eye (badly, as he looked cross-eyed and not half wise).
Once we had walked into the ladies’ room I stood in front of Mammy and placed my hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry for leaving the table so abruptly. Robbie and Donal will think it’s a ritual from the North that people in the Republic have never heard about.”
“No, Ruby. I think they know that it’s just one of your little rituals. I’m sorry for sticking my foot in it yet again. I can’t seem to say the right thing around you these days. You’re so sensitive and take everything the wrong way.”
“It’s not you, Mammy. It’s me.” (Ugghhh, now I sounded like I was breaking up with her . . . “It’s not you, darling. I love you. It’s me. I’m the
reason why we shouldn’t be together because I give lame-assed excuses for acting like a plank.” Sorry, an ex-boyfriend said it to me once and I never forgot it.)
“Why are you looking at me in such a strange fashion, Ruby?”
“No reason. Never mind, Mammy. Look, let’s go back and enjoy our night. I’m going to try and lengthen my fuse and stop taking everything so seriously. It’s just that I’ve grown to hate any suggestion that I’m in any way different from my family. Maybe it’s not so much that I want to find my birth mother any more. Perhaps I’ve just come to the realisation that more than anything I wish I belonged to you and Daddy.”
As I said it I felt choked and close to tears. I hated feeling weak or vulnerable but yet that was how I seemed to be feeling a lot of the time lately. Pesky stupid Georgina. What the hell had she reduced me to? I was Ruby. Fearless Ruby who would smack you as quick as look at you if you spoke to her in the wrong tone but these days she bore more of a resemblance to a squished banana than her former glorious self.
“This was why I didn’t want you to do this, Ruby,” Mammy said gently. “A big part of my reluctance for you to pursue this was to do with you getting hurt, but I also hate to see you feeling so unsure of yourself. You seem to be constantly questioning whether or not you fit in, even though you are loved so much by everyone around you. None of us would be without you. You even seem to have won the affections of Robbie O’Donnell these days though he has the reputation of being one of the most difficult men this side of Donegal.”
“Well, whoop de feckin doo-da, I’m delighted that Robbie likes me but I’d much rather that my birth mother had liked me slightly more before she let me go without a second thought.”
“Well, her loss was our gain, Ruby, and don’t you ever forget it,” my mother said fiercely.
“I don’t know why this keeps happening,” I said in frustration. “I haven’t been thinking about it all day but now all of a sudden it’s back to the forefront of my mind. It’s like an unwelcome invader that keeps popping up to annoy me. I don’t want to think about this right now. I want to enjoy my night.”
Anyone for Me? Page 24