“Hello, girls,” Rose said in greeting. “Would you like a cup of coffee before we try anything on?”
“No, thanks!” Frankie and I answered in unison whilst Carly skipped from foot to foot in the manner of an excited puppy.
“What they really mean,” Ella said helpfully, “is that they would love a cup but they would rather have it after they see their dresses.”
Rose smiled knowingly and beckoned us through to the fitting room beyond the shop. It was old and there were rolls of fabric and material everywhere and several mannequins decked with clothing of various shapes and sizes.
“Are you ready?” she asked before reverently removing a sheet from a hanger.
And there was my wedding dress and I knew that it would be perfect. It was the right colour and the detail was enough to make it stand out without being overpowering.
“Would you like to try it on?”
“Yes, please.”
I took off my clothes, put my hands in the air like she instructed and allowed her to slip the dress over my arms and then over my head. She zipped me up, tugged here and there and made markings with pins and then she let me turn around to look at myself in the mirror.
My hand went immediately to my throat in shock. The dress looked too beautiful and too delicate to cover my frame.
“What do you think?” I asked.
Frankie couldn’t speak as she was snivelling into a hankie and Ella seemed also to be having difficulty in answering me whilst Carly made a low ‘Ooooooooh!’ sound.
“Would somebody please say something – please?”
“You look divine, dawling,” a voice drawled from behind me.
We had arranged to meet Gabriel here and as usual he had timed it well.
“You approve?”
“I more than approve. It’s stunning. Outstanding. Can I please add you to my list of contacts, Rose, as you are an expert in what you do?”
Rose blushed and smiled happily. She made a few more alterations and then turned me round so that she could unzip me and place the dress back on its hanger.
“Frankie, now it’s your turn.”
Frankie blew her nose loudly and then took her coat off but not before she nearly strangled me giving me a hug.
We all whistled and made appreciative comments when we saw her dress. It was perfect for her shape and colouring and the shade was perfect.
“Another triumph, Rose,” Gabriel announced loudly. “Haute couture, eat your heart out!”
“Exactly,” I said. “You would have had me standing in some stuffy designer shop looking like a flouncy meringue. I am so glad that I’m a stubborn bitch sometimes. I always knew that there was a reason I should have come here.”
“Yeah, your magic finger did the walking,” Frankie said.
I emerged from the fitting room and looked around the shop whilst I waited for Frankie to get dressed. I went to the window and the ever-familiar déjà vu feeling came over me.
“I wish I knew why I keep thinking I was here before,” I said to Rose as she appeared, looking for her glasses. “It really is driving me insane. There has to be a connection somewhere. We parked across the road today and I got it crossing the road as well. It’s starting to freak me out, you know. I’m not a big believer in reincarnation but there’s just something so familiar about this place.”
“I really can’t think of what it can be,” Rose said (for about the hundredth time as she had heard this conversation on all the other occasions). “It’s unlikely you’ve been here. It’s a residential area mostly with a few accountancy firms and a doctor’s office and the dentist’s and then there’s the women’s refuge across the road. Of course, it wasn’t always a refuge – it used to be a convent.”
“Really?” Frankie said as she joined us.
“It wasn’t your average convent, though. Unmarried mothers gave birth to their babies there.”
My heart leapt and began to pound.
“You don’t happen to know what it was called?” I asked with my throat drying up.
“I believe it used to be known as St Catherine’s Lodge.”
Chapter 57
I woke up and was surrounded by faces.
“What happened?”
“You fainted, dear,” Rose said gently. “Take some small sips of water and you’ll feel better.”
I shakily took the glass and drank slowly from it.
“You’re awfully pale, Ruby. It must be all the excitement,” Ella said.
“A bride is never properly a bride unless they pass out at least once,” Gabriel said.
“We can check that off the list then,” I croaked.
Frankie was beside me, rubbing my arm and kissing my hand.
“Oh my God!” she said. “I can’t believe we found it like this.”
“Join the club. It certainly explains a lot though. It’s no wonder I recognised it.”
“Recognised it? How?”
“Come with me,” I said to Frankie as I pulled myself into a sitting position.
“Take it easy,” Ella urged. “Don’t move too quickly or you might just end up on your back again.”
“Chill out, Nurse Ella. I’ll be fine. Frankie will hold on to me.”
“Why? Where are we going?”
“For a little walk across the road.”
The air hit me as soon as I walked out the door and I clung tightly to Frankie’s arm. We crossed the road until we were standing looking at the clothes shop from the grounds of the convent.
“Do you remember I told you about the sketch? The hand-drawn picture that showed trees, a bus stop and the front of a shop advertising clothing alterations? The sketch that had St Catherine’s Lodge written on the back of it?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Look in front of you.”
Frankie looked at the shop. Looked at me. Looked at the shop again and then clapped her hand over her mouth.
“The picture is of this street, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
Every detail of the sketch had been burned onto my brain and as I looked all around me I could see where the artist had got her ideas from. I could see the old houses, the bus stop, Rose Malone’s shop which no longer had its ‘Clothing Alterations’ sign up but which was still there nevertheless.
“I can’t believe that I didn’t figure this out before.”
“You never would have thought, Ruby. How were you to know how important or significant this street was going to be? Your finger of fate guided you well.”
“I’m going to go over there to ask a few questions,” I said determinedly.
“But, Ruby, it’s no longer a convent. They’ll not know anything.”
“Somebody might know something. Every tiny detail counts. Go back across to the shop. If you don’t mind, this is something I need to do for myself.”
I opened the gate which led into the grounds of the women’s refuge, past the sign that told me that it was now called Haven House. I walked slowly around the gardens which were very peaceful and fragrant with different varieties of flowers and shrubs planted all around. I sat down on a wall and looked at the building in front of me. It was red-bricked with lots of windows and a welcome mat at the front door. The downstairs windows were colourfully decorated with butterflies and animals and a wind-chime blew melodiously in the breeze. It was a nice place, I decided, or at least it was now. I wondered what it was like when Georgina had been here. I was presuming that Georgina must have been here at some point. And I was presuming she had drawn the picture.
I went to the door and several times attempted to press the doorbell but lost my nerve at the last minute. The people within would think I was nuts. Maybe I would ring them instead? At least I knew where it was now and it wouldn’t be as embarrassing as having to explain myself in person.
No. I wasn’t going to be afraid. I had waited my whole life for this and dreamed of nothing else for the last few years.
“Pull yourself together.
Get a fecking grip and stop being such a pussy,” I said out loud before jumping three foot in the air as somebody put their hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t be afraid. Why don’t you come in and speak to us? We’re here to help after all,” a lady said. She was petite with black hair and brown eyes, dressed casually in jeans and a shirt, and was looking at me kindly.
“I don’t think you understand,” I said, embarrassed (my face was probably the same colour as my hair). “I’m not here because I have any problems as such – I’m just looking for information.”
“That’s fine.” The look on the woman’s face told me plainly that she didn’t believe me.
“Honestly. I just need a bit of guidance and then I’ll be on my way.”
“The first step is to admit that there’s a problem and you’ve accomplished that one beautifully by coming here to speak to us. The other steps will come in time. You don’t need to be afraid any more. We’ll protect you and your family. We have rooms upstairs if you ever feel that the situation is becoming too dangerous. Have you any children?”
“I really admire the work you do,” I said in a controlled voice, “but you still don’t understand. I’m not a battered wife nor am I seeking refuge here. It’s information about the building itself that I need. You don’t happen to know anything about St Catherine’s Lodge, do you?
“I don’t. But I know someone who does,” the woman said, smiling.
Two hours later and I was sitting in a nursing home, having been directed there by the lady I had spoken to in Haven House.
The old nun didn’t seem to understand when the nurse told her that she had a visitor.
“But it’s not Maureen’s day to come here and see me,” the old lady said in confusion. “It’s not Wednesday, is it? Am I senile already?”
The nurse laughed and patted her on the hand. “No, Sister Therese, you’re not senile yet. I’ll make sure and tell you when it happens. Maureen sent this young lady to see you. She thinks that you may be able to help her with something.”
“That’s grand then. What’s your name, young lady?” She patted the armchair that was situated beside the bed in her room. “Maureen is a good girl – she’s my niece, you know,” she said proudly. “She runs the refuge. I helped her secure the premises for it when St Catherine’s closed. Do you know her well?”
“My name is Ruby, Sister, and I only met Maureen today. She’s very nice and she told me that you used to work in St Catherine’s. I was hoping that you could give me some information about someone who used to stay there or at least I think she used to be there.”
“You’re referring to one of my girls then,” the nun said, nodding and seeming to understand. “Your red hair and brown eyes remind me of someone. Once I hear the name perhaps I’ll remember – my old memory isn’t what it used to be but up to recently I could remember them all, every one.”
“Georgina.”
“Georgina . . . Delaney . . . the same eyes,” the nun said.
I couldn’t believe it. At last.
“I have the same eyes as her?” I asked gently.
“And the same nose and she was red-haired too. Tell me, do you like to draw?”
I nodded, mesmerised.
“Georgina loved to draw. She was very good at it. She was at her happiest either sitting in the garden or looking through the window and drawing. She drew exactly what she saw in front of her but she also had an amazing imagination. She was a lovely young woman and I was very fond of her.”
“That’s why I thought I’d been there before,” I explained. “The street opposite St Catherine’s was drawn in pencil on a piece of paper, you see. The paper had a letterhead on it and that’s how I knew about the lodge. It was drawn so clearly and in such detail and I’ve memorised it so well that I thought I was there before. I’ve been there several times now because the lady across the street from the women’s refuge is making my wedding dress. I’ve had her tortured every time, asking her why I ever could’ve been there.”
“Ah yes,” the nun said smiling. “I always told Georgina that she could take paper from my office when she wanted to draw. That’s why you saw the letterhead. Where did you find it?”
I began to explain to the nun about my father and mother, the birth certificate and the other things I had found in the box.
“There was an old black and white photograph as well. It was of a lady wearing a coat and a hat. I’d never seen her before in my life. Do you know who that might be?”
“The picture will be of your grandmother. Georgina carried that about everywhere with her. Her mother died when she was younger and Georgina absolutely worshipped her. You obviously meant a lot to her when she sent it with you to your new parents.”
I couldn’t speak. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I was content to simply stay in the company of someone who actually understood my situation and knew my mother.
“So, you haven’t met her?” the nun asked after we had sat in silence for a time.
“No, but I’d like to. Do you think she’d like to see me?”
“Yes, I think she’d like that very much. I’m quite surprised that she ended up having you adopted. When she left the lodge she was more than happy to be looking after you and was very good to you. I always thought that she’d make a great little mother.”
“What about the drink and the men?”
The nun looked confused which prompted me to explain what I had been told.
“Perhaps that’s what your parents were told but it’s not the young girl I knew. Shortly after she had you, her sister came and removed her from the lodge. She wasn’t really fit to go anywhere as she’d had quite a difficult birth but her family were quite rich and most insistent that she leave. They gave a generous donation to the convent.”
“What was my aunt like?” I asked eagerly.
Sister Therese made a series of facial movements that indicated that she didn’t quite know how to answer this question.
“I haven’t met any of them,” I said. “So I’d be grateful for any information possible.”
“I only met her for a very short period. I don’t really remember much about her. They told me that they were taking Georgina and the baby home to be with the family and that we had nothing to worry about.”
I was utterly confused. “But if she was going home to a wealthy family, how did she end up living in a house on her own drunk and with men calling all the time and being investigated by social services? My adoptive mother was told to put me off the scent if I ever did try and look for answers. She was told that I was badly treated for the first six weeks of my life and that there would be nothing but heartache in store for me if I ever was to trace my birth mother.”
“Your mother was told to tell you this. I see.”
She looked as if she really did see.
“Does that bear some significance to you?” I asked.
“I couldn’t be sure and far be it from me to cast aspersions on anyone but I believe that your aunt worked with Social Services.
Chapter 58
I walked out of the nursing home and could hardly see because I was blinded by tears. You didn’t need to be Einstein to figure it out. Obviously it had been a deliberate act. The old nun had nothing to gain from not telling me the truth and I had always questioned the fact that somebody who was portrayed as being so bad could have put together the little box which was so obviously filled with sentiment and love.
I rang Luke and told him what had happened in a halting voice in between alternate sessions of crying and kicking the wall in a rage.
“How could anyone be so cruel as to do that to their own sister? And their own niece for that matter?”
“Whoah, Ruby. You can’t jump to conclusions just on the strength of what one person says. This lady is in a nursing home. She’s old and her memory is failing. She could be confusing Georgina with somebody else entirely.”
“I wonder would you ever feck yourself, Luke Reilly! I kno
w in my heart of hearts that she is telling the truth because so many things didn’t make sense to me!”
“If it makes you feel better to think that, then fine. I just don’t want you getting hurt, that’s all. And, anyway, I thought that you weren’t going to think any more about this until after our wedding?”
“I did not leave the house this morning expecting to be in possession of such information which was dropped on me from a great height after I fainted like a big girl, Luke. I didn’t exactly go looking for it, did I?”
“You are a girl.”
“Shut up.”
“What are you going to tell your mother?”
“I’m not planning on telling her anything. Why do you ask?”
“Because we’re going to Donegal tomorrow. Your mammy wants to see us. She says it’s very important. Apparently she’s been talking to her solicitor and he had some very interesting things to say about the matter of the cottage. Aisling will also be there as she wants to talk to us in person.”
“Luke, speaking of mothers, I’ve just remembered that I’m supposed to be meeting yours for coffee and – I’m not being horrible – but could you do me a favour as I think I’m not really in the mood for going anywhere?”
“Say no more. I’ll ring her and tell her that you can’t meet her because you fainted and aren’t well. It isn’t exactly a lie after all. Just you get yourself home safe to me.”
I had instructed the girls and Gabriel to go on home without me as I wasn’t sure how long I was going to be at the nursing home and was travelling home by bus. Which gave me plenty (too much) time to think.
Perhaps I should have stayed in bed that morning. Ignorance is bliss. Isn’t that what they always say? But, quite obviously I was meant to go there. My angel had guided me as the last thing I had done before leaving the house was to kiss it and invite Daddy to see my dress.
“Are you all right? I’ve been worried sick about you,” Frankie said in a breathy voice once I had answered my mobile.
Anyone for Me? Page 31