The Heart-Shaped Emblor (The Ewlishash Series)

by Ewing, Alaina

  “I guess to start,” he began, more serious now. “We should talk about those like us, and those not like us. You know that, in Ireland, you and I are Ewlishash, but that’s only when we’re in Ireland. There are those who can do what we do all over the world. The Jarwin guide all of us. They call us Hope Bringers. I know it’s a simple title, and kind of assumes a lot about what we’re capable of, but that’s how they see us.

  “You see, our job is to help people. Not just help, but also give them hope. It seems fitting that one of your best friends is named Hope.” He looked at her appreciatively. “Because that’s what we do, essentially. For instance, once the Jarwin get a ‘call,’ they find the closest of us and send us the message. Then we can go help that person. It may be something simple, like when my guide left me a business card. I had asked for help, and the next day, I got it. The card wasn’t what gave me hope, however. It was meeting you. Do you see?”

  I nodded. “What do you mean when you say the Jarwin get a call?”

  “Well…” He ran his hand through his hair. “When we’re in our changed form, we can sometimes hear the thoughts of others, but only those who are in turmoil or extreme pain and sadness. When their auras are weak, their feelings make their thoughts expand outward, like a signal. Even if the person hasn’t asked for help, we may still be able to hear things, just in a muddled and choppy way. But when someone asks for help, the signal comes clearly. The Jarwin, or whoever is closest, can then pick it up. But we can only help if the person asks for assistance from a non-specific source.”

  “You mean like if I asked my animal spirit guide for help, or if I was praying to a specific god or goddess, then we can’t help?” My voice edged toward frustration. What was the point of being able to help if we could only help those who wanted non-specific helpers?

  “That’s exactly what I mean.” Alexander nodded. “There is a reason for that, you know.” He spoke a bit condescendingly, as if he could see the accusation in my eyes.

  “What do you mean?”

  “There are more beings out there than our type, many different types of helpers and many types of higher powers. If someone wants help from a specific source, they oftentimes get it. But sometimes people lose faith and hope, and then they have a harder time asking for specific helpers. That’s where we come in.

  “When you get to go to council more, you will understand how to gain access to a person’s life plan. So before you help the person, you can know how to help him or her. When people are ‘on path,’ they usually aren’t asking for help. It’s not quite as difficult as it all sounds.”

  “So you’re saying there are gods and goddesses? Or animal guides, spirit guides, things like that?” I sounded full of doubt. The concept of religion always seemed foreign to me. If these beings existed, why were there so many? How many gods did it take to create a world?

  “As far as I know,” Alexander stated flatly. “I haven’t seen them, because they move at different speeds, just as we do. But I do believe they exist. We exist when science is just now beginning to unfold the possibility of String Theory. Yet here we are, with a very specific purpose. So why wouldn’t others exist as well? Plus,” he smirked a little, “have you ever set up someone’s life plan?”

  As I reflected on what he had said, the evidence that something higher than me must exist hit me like a ton of bricks. All of this time, we’d been discussing my life plan, but who had I set that plan up with, and for what purpose?

  “No, I haven’t set up anyone’s life plan. Not that I’m aware of, anyway. I see what you’re saying.” I took a deep breath. “So then, if our purpose is to give people back their hope, what do the Tirates do?”

  Alexander’s wide smile told me my questioning was right on track with what he wanted to tell me. He pulled his hair back from his forehead and began again. “First, I must say that the Tirates are from all over as well. Many cultures have their own concepts of what they are and what they call them, but we call them all Tirates, regardless of where they’re from.

  “The Tirates are exactly the opposite of us. Their only purpose is to gain power, wealth, control—anything that is self-serving. Never do the Tirates help anyone but themselves. They take hope away from others. Tirates are our enemies. It’s the Tirates who’ve taken Jaden and who want you for themselves. But why they would be interested in you after you’ve already chosen your path is beyond any of us, even the Jarwin. Until we have more answers, you’re in danger.” Alexander’s voice hardened, his protective side kicking in.

  “So this is odd?” I asked, shuddering on the inside. “The Tirates have not tried to seduce anyone to their side before?”

  “No.”

  Heaviness built in my chest. Why did they want me? What was so special about me?

  “Alexander?” I paused. “If I had chosen the path of the Tirates, would someone from that side have been the one to greet me and guide me like you are? If so, maybe he or she is the one who took Jaden.”

  “I’m glad you’re thinking about the possibility, but when I say they live for themselves, I mean completely. There is no one to guide them. Once someone has chosen that path, it’s like living in the dark all the time. They can still use their powers to change, but they never find permanent happiness. That’s why they just continue to take and take. For a short time, the latest acquisition brings happiness. But it doesn’t last. Then they are on to a new target.

  “You would have had no one to guide you if you chose that path, Aislinn. Despite what Hope may have said. Anyone you ended up with would have been like Cooper: selfish and not really as into you as you were him. Do you see how that could lead to more unhappiness?”

  “Yes,” I admitted. “I absolutely know how that could bring unhappiness. Or a drowning sensation, to be more accurate.” I chucked inside at how easy it had already become to admit my mistake with Cooper. “Does anyone ever change sides? I mean, if a Tirate realizes their mistake and wants to change. Do you know if that happens?”

  Alexander’s mouth fell open. “Never! Once you choose your path, you’re locked in!”

  “That kind of sucks. I learn from my mistakes. Why are they locked in? The rest of the humans, the ones that don’t have our powers, aren’t. If we can give the average Joe hope, why not the Tirates?” My mood turned sour as I thought about having limitations on not only how, but also whom I could help.

  “Why on earth would you want to help one of them?” He gasped in disgust. “Don’t you understand how purely evil they are?”

  Despite Alexander’s opinion, Hope looked pleased with my questions.

  “I’m not sure that selfishness means that they are all evil. Maybe some are, but the ones who are just starting out are probably terrified when they begin the change. With no one to help them, there is more potential to turn greedy. If they had help from one of us, then maybe rather than continue on the path of greed, they might decide to act honorably.” I cocked my head to the side, raising my eyebrows. I knew that I had a good point, even if it made Alexander scowl in the most unattractive way.

  “We’re getting off the topic.” He quivered with frustration. “When you are able to change, then you can speak with the Jarwin about that. For now, we need to get back to the Tirates.

  “First, you must never trust any of them. That’s how our kind are lost. The Tirates will never do something selfless. Just remember that when it comes time to interact with them. They will lie a thousand times over to get you to do what they want.

  “Second, try very hard to never mix your energy with them. They don’t like it either, so most times, they won’t get close to us or us them.”

  “Why?” I interrupted.

  “Once you mix,” Alexander began, eyeing me in a way I couldn’t quite comprehend. “You can’t withdraw all of your energy again. You will always stay partially combined with the person you mixed with. That’s why when we mix with our chosen we end up getting so close. A part of us stays in the other person.”


  “So if I mixed with you, for instance, then I would become part of you? In an energy sense, anyway?”

  Alexander looked at the ceiling, his mouth puckered.

  “That’s part of it.” He grimaced. “But that energy also carries how we feel about things, how we see things, and some of our memories. Mixing energy makes us vulnerable to one another. That’s why you only want to mix with your chosen.”

  “Can you mix by accident? What happens if we bump into someone? I’m sure accidents happen. Don’t they?” My voice began to shake, and I shifted my weight to the side. I didn’t want Alexander to notice my worry over the mixing process. In my dream, it had hurt worse than I believed possible.

  “Yes, Aislinn,” he assured. “That does happen by accident, which is why I’m warning you. Mixing with someone you don’t want to mix with is extremely dangerous. Some of the Jarwin have hinted it could be fatal, but they’ve never elaborated.”

  I sat up straighter again, unable to hide my fear.

  “How will I know how close to get? Or when I’m going to bump into someone?”

  “You’ll feel it, trust me.” He rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner. “Every person feels different. So once you get to know how I feel, you’ll know when it’s me approaching you. When you feel someone else, it will feel like you’re being shocked, me included, but only until we mix. Once we mix, I will no longer shock you. That’s what you want to watch for. When you feel energy, move away quickly.”

  “Ugh,” I moaned. “This sounds hard.”

  “It’s not.” Alexander got up and came to stand over me. He pulled me to my feet, wrapping me in his arms. His heartbeat thumped in the ear that I rested over his chest. “You just need to relax. That’s all. I will take good care of you, I promise. Try not to be afraid. You were made to do this.”

  As I stayed wrapped up in him, the warmth coming from his body lent even more assurance. His words also soothed me. I was made for this, and I knew it deep down in my core.

  “What else do I need to know?” I asked urgently. “In case I just suddenly shift at random.”

  “Huh,” Alexander mused. “You do realize that’s not going to happen, right? I mean, strange things will begin popping up, but you won’t actually change until you use your mind to do it. Even when the Tirates begin to change, not all of them figure it out. It’s only when they wonder what the strange experiences mean that some of them focus their intent and make the change. It won’t just happen.”

  “Thank goodness.” I sighed in relief. “I was afraid I’d just be sitting here and suddenly start floating around the room.”

  Both Alexander and Hope burst into laughter, but I knew that Hope had wondered herself if that were possible. It was nice to lighten the conversation.

  “Anything more?” I added.

  Alexander sat back on the floor to continue. This time he beamed a grin, probably trying to help me feel more at ease. “A couple of things will help you. First, remember that to change, you have to will it with your mind. It’s the same to change back. For the most part, it’s similar to what you did when you called for me tonight, when you were lost.

  “The second thing—and this one will be most important if your dream of us rescuing Jaden comes to pass—we can change to get into the room, but we’ll have to stay in solid form once we’re there. She is not supposed to see us change. Also, we can’t change her. So to get her out, we’ll have to be on foot. Does that make sense?”

  “It does add to the difficulty, I will admit. The rescue attempt seems harder, if not impossible.” My anxiety returned as I realized my dream didn’t actually reveal us getting her out.

  “Oh, it’s possible, trust me. Easy no, but possible, yes.” He took a breath, preparing for his last instruction. “Just remember, I will be there when you change for the first time. I will show you how to follow the ley lines and the energy grid of the earth to get to where we need to be. When you are in changed form, your memory is much sharper. You will be able to remember how many lines we traveled and in which directions, so that you can follow them back. And don’t act without consulting me. Until you’ve been doing this for a while, you’ll need my help. Don’t be hasty.”

  “Got it.” I tried to sound convincing, but it was not them I needed to convince. “I think.” I added under my breath.

  “You’ll do just fine, Aislinn,” Hope assured me. “I mean, think about what you’ve already done. You’ve been through so much in such a short time. Many people would have gone off the deep end by now, but not you. It’s almost as if the more that’s on your plate, the calmer and more confident you become. So relax and try to trust yourself. The closer you are to what you were meant to be, the more peaceful you will become.”

  “Do you really think so?”

  “I do.” She smiled her perky, cheery smile and leaned back onto her hands. “I really do.”

  I turned back to Alexander. “I need to know something. Just so I’m prepared. What will happen when the process starts? I mean, if I don’t know when my birthday is, how am I going to know when I can change?”

  “Things will begin to happen. What those things are will depend on you. I can’t say for sure. Each of us is different.”

  I looked at the clock. Both Hope and Alexander followed my gaze. We’d managed to talk until three in the morning.

  “Is it okay to wrap this up now? I need some sleep. And maybe some time to think.” I yawned all the way through my sentence.

  “Good idea.” Hope got up and grabbed my pillow. “You two aren’t sleeping in here.” She walked out of her room and led us down the hall to the last door on the left. “In here.”

  I eyed her suspiciously. “There’s only one bed in there. Won’t your mom be upset?”

  “Of course not, silly! She’s the one who made it up for you two. This is the guest room. When Kiera told her you both would be staying, they all came in and cleaned for you.”

  “But,” I objected.

  “Don’t worry,” she breathed. “My family knows you’re not the typical person. It’s okay.” Hope tossed my pillow onto the bed, apparently having had enough of the conversation, and headed for her room. “See you in the morning.”

  I looked up at Alexander, straining my neck to see his face. Alexander stood at least six feet tall. He smiled down at me. “Shall we?”

  “Okay,” I replied, a bit unsure how I felt about sharing a bed with someone who still felt like a stranger.

  I had no idea what he expected of me, nor did I want to be disrespectful by sleeping in a bed with a man in someone else’s house. But if they set it up for us, I also didn’t want to be rude by refusing to use it.

  Alexander placed my pillow on one side and the guest pillow on the other. I grabbed my nightshirt out of my bag and took it to the restroom. He could have seen me naked at any given point while in his changed form, but I still didn’t feel comfortable stripping in front of him.

  I combed through my hair with my fingers, too tired to do anything else. Clumsily, I made my way back to the room where Alexander awaited me, and crawled into bed. I faced away from him to avoid temptation, but he pulled himself next to me anyway, wrapping his arm over my side.

  “Good night,” he whispered in my ear, sending shivers all the way down to my toes.

  “Night,” I replied sleepily.

  As we began to drift off, Alexander pulled me closer into him. We were snuggled in a spooning fashion before I knew it, and I could feel his heat seep into me. My apprehension faded as Alexander’s soft snores drifted into my ear.

  After a while, his rhythmic breathing woke me slightly, and the thin nightgown I wore revealed more of Alexander to me than he surely intended. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so insecure. Part of me even wished he hadn’t just fallen asleep.

  My heart pounded as I focused on the softness of his touch, the warmth radiating from him. I wanted to flip around and push myself into him, and I pictured my lips meeting his with his hand curled up in my ha
ir.

  I tried to fall back asleep, but all I could think about was Alexander. My skin burned with desire for him. His breath created a tunnel of soft breeze from the back of my head around to my face. Slowly and peacefully, I drifted back into sleep.

  With all that had transpired, the dream-filled night did not surprise me. My dreams were strange, different somehow. There were many of Alexander and me in another place and time. We lived in a castle. We roamed as gypsies. At one point, we traveled to a land where the buildings were rounded and lights passed through transparent walls.

  Even my parents, both adoptive and biological, entered my slumber. My biological parents constantly changed in appearance, probably because I had no idea what they looked like. With so many dreams, the rest factor flew out the window.

  The next morning came entirely too soon. I woke with huge dark circles under my eyes and my hair a tangled mess. Alexander had not woken yet, so I jumped into the shower. I found it hard to leave his side, but my need to wake up and feel refreshed outweighed my desire to snuggle.

  Hot water cascaded over me. The heat against my clammy skin felt good. By the time I emerged, it glowed red.

  I combed my hair carefully and put on my lavender lotion. After a quick glance at the rings still looming under my eyes, I decided to put on some makeup. I hadn’t really worn it much lately, but it appeared to be a necessity.

  When I finished, a very pleased Alexander sat on the bed waiting for me. His sparkling eyes made me want to hop back in bed and cuddle more, but I needed some breakfast.

  “Hey.” He cracked a smile.

  “Hi,” I replied awkwardly, glancing at my feet after remembering our intimate contact as he’d slumbered. “You hungry?”

  “Not really,” he admitted. “I’m not much of a breakfast person. But I’ll come down with you if you’re hungry.”

  “I am kind of hungry.” I hoped that he hadn’t noticed I’d forgotten to brush my teeth.

  Tellah and Samara were already in the kitchen. They were mixing herbs, little chunks of something brown, maybe a root, and a feather in a large pot. I quickly realized that what they were concocting was no morning repast.