by Kari Alice
“She cleans the house and keeps the groceries stocked. She’s usually done by noon, but sometimes she doesn’t start until the afternoon. Her schedule is flexible. It’s not like I’m home during the day anyways.” His strong hands gripped the wheel as he parked the SUV and turned off the engine.
As they entered the house, the rich aroma of Italian spices filled the living room. The table was already set, and the food was kept warm in a slow cooker, while toasted and garlic-buttered bread was in the warming oven. Lexi unloaded her belongings on the couch and eagerly made her way to the tempting scents that poured from the kitchen.
“Come on and have a seat,” Caleb said as he held the chair out for her. Caleb pushed Lexi’s seat in its proper position, as would be done in a restaurant. He poured them both drinks. “Try this wine. It complements the marinara.” He poured them each a glass of the chilled crimson Chianti.
Lexi inspected the glass of dark wine but opted to try the pasta first. “Is Gail Italian?” Lexi asked after tasting her first bite of the spaghetti and meatballs. Lexi’s attempts at spaghetti never tasted like this. The marinara that Gail used wasn’t out of a jar, or at least it didn’t taste like processed sauce.
“No, but she knows how to cook a little bit of everything.” He grinned as he brought the wineglass to his lips.
“This is so good,” Lexi said. She took a small sip of the Chianti while holding her breath to block any overly harsh tang. Surprisingly, the wine seemed to merge with the savory meal and really brought out the more subtle flavors of the sauce. The beverage wasn’t as good as diet Pepsi on its own, but it was more agreeable with the meal and suited the dish perfectly. “Okay, you were right. The wine definitely works with this.” Lexi sipped more Chianti than was necessary to clear her throat.
Caleb smiled widely without hiding his amusement. He looked as though he’d won a battle. After dinner Caleb cleaned up, and Lexi loaded the dishwasher.
“You really don’t have to do this, you know,” he said.
“I don’t mind. It’s not my first time around a dishwasher.” She’d always done the dishes when she lived with her mom, and now it felt weird when she wasn’t doing something to help out around the house. Even with Ashley, they tackled the house work jointly.
“I just want you to relax and enjoy being here,” Caleb said as he leaned against the counter. Did he think that sexy pose would distract her from wiping off the kitchen table? She paused in her task.
She still faced the table when he grabbed her from behind and nuzzled her neck. “You smell amazing.” His rough whiskers tickled her neck. She rubbed where his face had been.
“I like being around you, even if it’s just doing housework,” Lexi said. Somehow his presence was enough.
“That’s what I’ve been telling you,” Caleb said as he held her gaze. He sensed that Lexi enjoyed being with him, but for some reason she couldn’t understand why he also felt that way about her in return. “Could I interest you in a bath?” Part of him wanted to get lost in bubbly water with her, but as skittish as she was, he’d play it by ear…
“That sounds good,” she said with a slight tremor. Was that tremor in her voice, or was her whole body quivering? He wanted her bad. She didn’t know what she did to him or the trouble she put herself in. Her wet, soapy body would drive the most devout monk to madness. There’d be a part of him that would have to keep himself grounded. If there was too much intensity, he’d scare her away. She was so skittish… He couldn’t let that happen.
Where was the restraint when he offered to give her a bath? Was he really going to test himself that unfairly?
He took her hand and led her to the master bathroom. He stroked her soft blond hair and nibbled her ear before he kissed her mouth. He deepened the kiss. Her body shuddered. He had to stop now, or there’d be no bath tonight. He held her close and kissed her forehead. He took a deep breath, but the scent of her shampoo lingered in his nose. He swept her floral-scented hair away from her face and handed her, with shaking hands, an Egyptian cotton towel.
He turned to start the water in the oversized soaker tub. Its depth took several minutes to fill. He peeked over his shoulder to make sure she hadn’t left. She stood there with an innocent look in her eyes. Her cheeks were flushed, redness blotched her lips from his kiss, but she stood her ground. She wanted him, but there was also fear. He’d do his best not to scare her. He stood and spun. She didn’t back away. Good.
The floors were warm with the inlaid heating, and Lexi splayed her toes to soak up the warmth. She bit her lip in consternation, longing to be near him after that incredibly tender kiss, even if they were submerged in the water…especially as they were submerged in water! Her heart fluttered, and a decision was made.
“Won’t you come in with me?” she asked as her fingers trembled.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea…” His voice trailed off as he spoke, which hinted at his own desire.
“We can keep it G rated, you know,” Lexi said.
Caleb seemed impossible to read, but then he turned back toward the linen closet and pulled out another towel and washcloth. He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it over his head. That was then followed by his undershirt.
“I’ll keep my distance,” he said in a husky voice.
The flutter of excitement she’d felt grew into something consuming. “I wish you wouldn’t” slipped out of her mouth before she could filter her thoughts. As bold as she sounded, there was also fear. She had known Justin for a couple of years, yet she would never had muttered those words to him.
He came to her and pulled her clingy cotton shirt over her head, revealing a white lacy bra. “Are you trying to kill me?” he asked as he looked at her semiexposed body.
Lexi wanted him badly, but having never been with a man, she wasn’t sure how it would feel to actually have him. Would there be more pleasure or pain, or maybe even both? There was no way of knowing, really, until it happened.
He pulled his slacks off, revealing tight charcoal-colored boxer briefs. The material was silky and clung to his…every contour.
She slid down her linen pants and fought with her uncooperative trembling fingers. When her matching lacy panties were revealed, she felt Caleb’s body tense.
He stepped into the bubbly tub.
The bubbles provided a modest amount of privacy, and Lexi planned to use them as a screen. She followed behind him and sank down into the chest-high water.
Caleb pulled off his wet boxer briefs and dropped them onto the tiled floor. The saturated material landed with a splat.
“Can I wash your hair for you?”
Lexi agreed and moved her body so that she was sitting between his legs. There was little distance between the two.
“Lean back,” he said as he ran his fingers over her scalp.
A moan escaped from her closed mouth, and her eyes shot open.
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Caleb asked as he continued to massage her scalp. “I like to hear the sounds you make. They make me think that I’m doing something right.”
“You are,” she muttered. His nudity hadn’t escaped her, but there was no urgency in seeing what was still hidden.
He rinsed her hair and repeated the process with conditioner. After he finished, Caleb pulled her against his chest.
Lexi could feel every ridge of his body. They sat in silence as their bodies acquainted with one another. Caleb’s restless hands caressed up and down her rib cage and over the tops of her thighs. The yearning returned and centered itself in her lower belly…
Caleb broke the silence. “Would you like to rinse off in the shower and get some of these suds off?”
Lexi snapped back into reality. “That’s probably a good idea.”
Lexi shifted herself as Caleb got out of the tub. Water dripped off of his body as he walked unself-consciously to the shower. He left puddles of bath water in his wake. His body was completely exposed, and Lexi involuntarily gasped at the sight of him. She
hadn’t really seen an erection before, and now wondered how that wouldn’t hurt her. The erection itself was luring with its strong base and impressive length. Lexi shifted her gaze from his body.
Caleb came over and reached out for her hands. He pulled her up. Both of them were covered with patchy bubbles. She stepped into the shower behind him, and the rain-styled showerhead cascaded on them like a downpour. She tried to focus on the tiled wall, but keeping her eyes away from his exposed body was impossible. Lexi’s undergarments did little to cover her wet body.
“Can we make this more even?” Caleb said. His eyes looked like a ravenous animal.
Lexi’s voice croaked. “Okay.”
He stepped close to her and unstrapped her bra and gently pulled it off her wet body. His eyes admired her untethered breasts with their soft roundness and rose-colored nipples. Each nipple had hardened and pointed upright against the water that flowed down her body.
Her head instinctively dropped down, but she couldn’t block the embarrassment of being exposed.
Caleb’s hands gently cupped her breasts and cradled them. He kissed her mouth and moved his head downward and licked a wet nipple. As he began to pull it in his mouth, she moaned loudly. He sucked harder, which made her want more. He released her nipple as he raggedly breathed in her ear. “I know you want me, Lexi. You have no idea how much I need you, but were not going there tonight.” He shut off the water and wrapped her up in a towel.
Lexi’s legs didn’t want to cooperate as she followed Caleb back to his bedroom. Part of her wanted to go home instead of dealing with this torture. Why couldn’t they go there tonight? A stunned and rather hostile edginess filtered through her form. It didn’t help that her body had begun to ache for him again, and that longing had only grown more intense. The degree of the cramping made no logical sense, and she blankly wondered if there’d ever be relief for what all but consumed her now.
“I know you must be getting tired,” he said warily.
“What I’m feeling isn’t tired.” Her voice held a ragged edge to it. Sexual frustration tinged her every word.
“We’ve got work tomorrow,” he said, unaffected by her tone.
“Why do you seem fine, and I feel like I could explode?” Lexi said, not wanting to admit how aroused she’d become, but unsure of what else to do. Relief would be priceless.
“How can you tell that I don’t feel the same way? Because I do…” He pulled on black sleep pants.
Lexi struggled to dress all while wearing her towel. Finally she settled into her yoga leggings and hot-pink camisole.
Caleb pulled back the sheets and patted them to signal Lexi to get in. “We need to talk.” His voice was steady and even.
Lexi crawled in as Caleb dimmed the lights and climbed in behind her.
Lexi grimaced at the parental tone in his voice. Why had he ended their time in the shower? Caleb seemed calm and under control, except for maybe when her nipple had been in his mouth… But his eyes gave him away now. There was something that he had to say. Annoyed and unsatisfied, Lexi awaited his speech.
“I’m afraid to let things get too far,” Caleb said as he held Lexi to his chest. They were both nestled under the covers of his bed, but tension erased the intimacy of the bedroom’s privacy. “I don’t know what I would do if you didn’t want to be with me anymore.”
She rolled over to face him. Although he might have needed anonymity in his confession, she couldn’t grant him that. “What do you mean?” she asked anxiously.
He swallowed, and his eyes focused away from her. “I don’t understand what I’m feeling for you… It’s just more than I’ve felt before. It doesn’t make sense. I’ve always lived by the plans that were laid out for me. I thought that everything was working out like it was supposed to. Then I met you, and everything that I thought was turned upside down.”
She looked at him quizzically as she tried to decipher his meaning. Was he longing for those simpler times, or was she—and her insecurities—just too much for him? “So does that mean that you don’t want to touch me because it feels too much for you to handle? Or is it that you wish you had your simpler life back?” All traces of her arousal vanished.
“I don’t want any part of who I was before I met you, Lexi. When I first saw you, it was like I was waking out of a dream. Now things feel so much more real than they ever had before. I don’t want to mess any of this up by scaring you off. Also…I don’t want to hurt you, and you know it will hurt the first time we have sex. I don’t know if I could stand putting you through that. I know it sounds stupid. Especially when I say it out loud. I sound like I’m in high school, definitely not like a thirty-year-old man should sound.” His eyes shifted to look at her.
“Please don’t treat me like a child, Caleb. We both know that I’m inexperienced, but let’s not let that interfere with taking our relationship to the next level.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve seen you in pain before, and I’m afraid that you might pass out on me…like you did the first time we met.”
“Well then, I guess you won’t have to worry about me being in pain if I’ve passed out, will you?” Hopefully sex would be more exciting than having her toenail nearly ripped off.
He laughed. “I’m sorry. You’re right about that. What an image I’ve got stuck in my head now, thanks to you.”
She smiled, but it didn’t strike her as funny as it did him. Her urges were real, and she needed to be touched by someone who loved her.
“I guess I just didn’t want you to be scared of me or think that I was only after your purity.” He grinned as he said the word purity.
“My purity? No, I promise you that didn’t cross my mind,” she said with a giggle.
“I guess another thing to talk about would be birth control. I’ve been putting it off because I’ve just assumed that you’ve got that taken care of, but I wanted to be sure.” His brow rose in question.
Lexi tensed as she tried to remember how many years it’d been since she’d taken birth control pills. Pregnancy prevention was something that she hadn’t needed to worry about for as long as she could remember.
“What kind of birth control are you on?” Caleb asked.
In a small and distant voice, she replied, “None.”
“Oh, well, that will have to be remedied. I suppose that you don’t have a regular gynecologist here?”
Why had she thought that she could get naked with this man and have sex with him, but the thought of talking about a gynecologist made her squirm? “No, not here,” she stammered.
“So you had one back in Florida?”
“Well…no. I didn’t.” The only time she’d been on birth control pills was in her late teens, and then she only took them to make her mom feel better. Lexi’s mom had said that she was too young to be a grandmother, and so she tried to prevent that from happening. The pills had been prescribed by her pediatrician all those years ago. Lexi hadn’t even had a gynecological exam. The thought of that kind of appointment made her heart speed up and her palms sweat.
“I don’t have any condoms here, but I could pick some up…”
Lexi shook her head. Her stomach rumbled.
“Okay, so I can get you in with one of the local doctors. Do you have a preference for a female doctor, or will either one do?” he asked.
Lexi picked at her fingernails and kept her eyes down. She couldn’t look at Caleb, not with this conversation. “I don’t know. I guess a female.”
“Lexi, I don’t like talking about this with you either, but it’s important. Don’t you think?”
“Yes,” she grumbled. “It’s just that it all seems very unpleasant. I’m pretty sure I don’t want my lower half excavated.” Lexi bit her lower lip.
“It’s not that bad. I’ve done a few gynecological exams myself. It’s awkward more than anything,” Caleb said. She supposed it was his attempt to reassure her.
“I’ve never been to that kind of doctor,” she admitted in a
faint voice. “Honestly, I think I’d rather have a tooth pulled than go to an appointment like that.”
“I understand what you’re saying, but you really need to go. If for no other reason, cervical cancer is deadly. I want you to be around for a long time.” He caressed her cheek with the back on his hand.
“Just make me an appointment. I’ll handle the anxiety somehow,” she said uncertainly.
“I’ll call tomorrow. It won’t be that bad.” He kissed her forehead.
Lexi closed her eyes for sleep to come, or for some form of escape from this embarrassing conversation.
Caleb pulled Lexi into his arms, and she relaxed against him.
6
Defenseless
Wednesday afternoon had finally arrived. It was nearly three o’clock, and Lexi turned off her work computer. Caleb had made an appointment for her, and with his influence she was able to be seen this week. Caleb offered to go with her, but she declined. If he were to come to the appointment, it’d be humiliating and would do little to ease her fears. Though now, she wasn’t so sure that declining his offer was a good idea. Ashley was going to meet her at Dr. Ives’s office and was coming for emotional support. Lexi would’ve like to have told Caleb good-bye, but he was in with a patient.
“Hey, where are you going?” A high-pitched female voice questioned.
As Lexi turned around, Missy was there with a chart in her arms. “Oh, I’m just leaving early today. I have an errand to run.”
“Okay, see you tomorrow then.” Missy sounded friendly, but her expression revealed something unsettling. Her jaw was too tight, and her smile looked fake.
Missy and Corrine were friends, and Missy was probably keeping Corrine up to date with anything Caleb related. The memory of Corrine was unpleasant, but for now, Lexi let it go.
The office of Dr. Anna Ives was only a few minutes away, and Ashley was already there in her car, waiting.
Lexi followed Ashley into the reception area. The place looked more like a spa than an actual doctor’s office. The floors were marble tile. Glazed dark wood accented the office. The receptionists sat behind a long mahogany counter. The receptionists wore all black, and they radiated a natural confidence that only enhanced the beauty of each. Lexi turned to Ashley and gave her an uncertain look. Were they in the right building?