by Jessie M
“Well, you know how I feel about you, don't you?”
“What the fuck are you trying to say. Spit it out or I'll thump you.”
It's not the right time. I can't do it. I wriggle out of it.
“I'm trying to say I appreciate you. As a best friend. And I love you. That's all.” I pick her hand up and give it a squeeze. “Now then. Get your gear off honey, we're going to bed.”
“I'll stay here on the sofa, if you don't mind.”
“No I insist you share my bed tonight. Just make sure you don't fuck me. Again.”
“And just make sure you don't fuck me either, okay?” She smiles at me. I love her smile. I love everything about her. Even her rattiness and the way she thumps me really hard on the arm.
Five minutes later we're undressed and in bed, lying there silently in the dark, two feet apart. I'm almost beside myself with desire. My dick is so hard I can't stand it and my balls are aching beyond belief.
“Josh... Tell me, what are you thinking about right now?”
“You.” The word is out before I can stop it. Damn.
She switches the light on and leans up, looking at me with a serious expression.
“What about me exactly?”
“I'm not sure I should tell you.”
“Yes you bloody should...”
“Promise me you won't get angry, or upset or thump me hard if I do.”
“Okay I promise, now for crissakes tell me...”
“I want you. In fact I want you so much I'm about to die wanting you.”
“I've wanted you for a long time Josh.”
“Really? Well this is a surprise, I'd never have guessed.” I can't help the smile that is rising up inside me like the birth of a new star. My spirits rise up to the heavens to thank the dear Lord for delivering her to me so fast. This is a very, very promising development.
But the deeply stirring, happy feeling is short lived.
“I've kept it to myself and for good reason. I'm not like you and I don't want to be with someone who fucks around for fun. I'm very serious about who I get involved with. I've thought about this moment over and over again in the past, and I think it's best we keep things as they are, just good friends.”
“I understand why you feel that way, but I don't want to fuck around any more, really, I don't. I feel so much for you. And definitely not in the platonic sense. I don't know if I can do 'just good friends' anymore.”
I'm already reaching for her, desperate to touch her, tentatively putting my hand on her waist. She moves a little closer which is encouraging. I am so in love with her my heart is about to melt. My brain too. In fact everything, except my dick. That's not melting any time soon.
“Well you'll have to live with it somehow. I manage.”
“There must be something I can say to change your mind about me?”
“No, there's nothing you can say. I know you all too well, remember. But, as we're being totally honest with each other at the moment, there is something I really want from you.”
“What's that?”
“One kiss. That's all.”
“I don't think I can do that honey.”
“Oh come on... It's just a little kiss. Please?”
“Eden no... We're almost naked in bed together. Do you really think one kiss is going to be enough for me, or for you either?”
“Two then?” Oh bloody ha ha... She's such a fucking laugh.
“Don't tease me, please.”
“Look, if you won't kiss me, I'll have to kiss you, won't I?”
“I'm not going to be responsible for my actions if you do.”
“Yes you will.”
“All right, as you seem determined, come on then, let's do it.” This could be my one and only chance to get close to her. A kiss is better than nothing. I'm not missing out on it, no matter how much more I want her afterwards. I'll deal with that as best I can later.
I lean over her and her long slender arms slip around me. God, I'm in paradise already. It's a strange but beautiful moment. I'm about to kiss my best friend passionately. We gaze at each other in a daze. I keep my eyes fixed on her face despite the fact that her naked breasts are taunting me to look at them. She closes her eyes and sighs deeply.
My breathing is harsh and uneven as my lips touch hers. Their beautiful softness instantly sends hot shivers running all around me. She pulls me down towards her and I feel her body mould itself against the length of mine, her soft breasts crushed between us. Fuck, I can't take this, really I can't. I carefully place one hand on her warm shoulder and tuck the other under her neck. All my senses are in overload, way off the scale. Her scent is making me feel high as I sweep my lips back and forth gently across hers. I kiss her more urgently and she opens her mouth, slipping her tongue over mine. I taste and feel my way around her, probing in oral ecstasy. She has the most perfect little mouth ever. It's made for me. Every wet, hot, silky part of it. She suddenly makes the most gorgeous noise, like a whimpering sigh and squeezes me tightly against her. I'm flying away, gone, out there on a misty cloud of love.
We kiss each other hungrily, her tongue stroking at my teeth and lapping everywhere she can reach. We are locked mouth to mouth for a timeless age. It could be minutes, it could be hours, I have no idea. It is without a doubt the most wonderful, sweetest, agonisingly thorough kiss I've ever had. It's the kind of kiss that makes me realise I've never been as happy in my whole damn life as I am right now. Just kissing her. I don't want it to stop because this is probably it. All she wants from me. Just this one very long perfect kiss and nothing else.
I push it a little further, slipping my hand behind her head into her hair and I kiss her much harder, a crushing, passionate swirling of tongues, carrying us away somewhere wonderful together. My fingers stroke around her ear and up and down her neck caressing the curve round to her shoulder. I'm almost ecstatic when I feel her hands start exploring me, trailing around my back, then up my neck and into my hair. I'm so desperate for her touch, I don't dare move in case I break the spell. She circles my head with her fingertips and tugs softly at the roots of my hair. I'm groaning into her mouth with complete and utter head pleasure. I can't tell her how much I love this because I don't want to stop kissing her and speak; just groan and kiss and touch her, over and over. My mind has gone into meltdown. I don't know what or even how to think. I am entering that other world. The world where I don't know where I am. All I know is that Eden is there with me, doing wonderful things to me. She's all I need.
Suddenly she pushes me away hard, shocking me back to reality as if she'd given me a slap with a freezing cold hand.
“Please... don't stop, please don't...” The words tumble out of my mouth, begging her. I don't care if kissing is all we ever do, as long as it carries on and on...
“No... I've told you how I feel.” She's as breathless as I am. Very flushed and hot. I know she wants me so very badly. Her body and her eyes are telling me how much. I'm getting confused signals from her. I think she's struggling with the new us. A lot.
“Fucking shoot me, it's kinder.”
“I just can't go any further. You'll break my heart.” She has tears in her lovely eyes as she's breaking mine.
“I won't, I promise I won't.” My eyes are misting up too.
“Yes you will. I'm going to sleep now. Don't you dare touch me again.” She settles herself as far away from me as she can get and switches off the light.
Sleep? No way is she going to sleep after that earth shattering kiss, and neither the fuck am I.
I can't lie in the same bed as her anymore. It's pure torture. I get up and leave the room, find myself a blanket and crash on the sofa in an angry, lovesick and highly frustrated state. That kiss was beyond anything I could have imagined, ever. A surge of superheated desire rushes through my whole body at the memory of it. God, I want her back in my arms again... I thump my cushion to relieve the tension again and again and finally thrust my face into it trying to suffocate myself into
passing out. Desperate doesn't come anywhere near how I feel about her. I'm completely dying with want and need. Like a starving man who can't quite reach his food. My heart hurts so bad. She's squeezing it, digging her nails in it and ripping it apart. I'm near to breaking point over her.
If I'm to stand any chance at all with Eden, I've got to earn her respect somehow, make her trust me. Get Josh the man slut friend out of her mind. This is going to take time. Time and considerable effort, and I'm willing to do it. I'll do whatever it takes for us to get together. I'm going to seduce her with the new me, charm the panties off her pretty little ass and make her realise I'm dead fucking serious. I love her to pieces and more, what else can I do?
It takes some time but I do manage to fall asleep eventually, I think the wine helped me with that, thank God.
=== * ===
I'm woken up by her the next morning. She shakes my arm. “Josh, wake up... I need to get my mum home before we go to work.” She sets a mug of tea down for me on the coffee table, then sits in the armchair opposite, watching me and drinking hers.
“Yeah, okay. I just need to use the shower. I'll be five minutes.” I stretch myself out. I feel like shit. It's a bit cramped on my sofa. I get up slowly, stretch again and head for the bathroom having given her a good long view of my very appealing and almost naked body and sexy sleep mussed hair. Then I notice Lorraine is up and sitting at the table, thankfully already engrossed in the horse puzzle. I dart past her and into the bathroom fast.
As I drive to work I am thinking how to start my love campaign. I have no experience whatsoever in this type of thing. I've never given a woman flowers, apart from my mother on Mother's Day and Rosie my cleaner. I've never dated anyone without sex being the one and only reason. I've never tried any loving sweet talk, only chatting up sex talk... My line of seduction usually goes something like...
'You have such a pretty face, d'you mind if I lick it?...
or...
What lovely long hair, want to wrap it around something?....
or even worse...
Did you know your eyes are asking me to fuck you?....'
Shit, I'm well and truly fucked for sure. Up the creek without a paddle, or a boat even.
But no, I've just had a thought. I know just the person to ask for advice. My mate Nate. He's been with the same women for weeks and months at a time. He must know a hell of a lot more than I do. I send him a text as soon as I arrive in work.
“Need help with something. Urgent.”
“ WTF it's 8 on Sat”
“Very urgent”
“?”
“You won't believe this.”
“??”
“I love Eden. She doesn't want me. How do I change her mind?”
“Are you ill, feverish, hallucinating?”
“NO... Come on, help me mate.”
“Too big a Q for 8. See you LT, Yates at 1”
“Thanks man. Owe you.”
Eden and I keep to our own part of the gym, studiously avoiding each other all morning. When I do look her way my stomach flips over and over until I feel sick and then I feel a stab of pain straight through my heart. I'm a complete love struck sad bastard. At lunchtime I slip on my jeans and take the ten minute walk through town to Yates. Nate's there chatting up the very pretty but overly tattooed and pierced bar-girl. I order us both a drink, a coke for me and another beer for him and we move up the other end of the bar.
“Thanks for this Nate. I really need help you know.”
“So, run it by me, how the fuck did this happen? You've known Eden for years and years.”
“I took her out Thursday night, because she's stuck in a lot with her mum. I thought it'd be good for her to get dressed up and go out for a while. But she was just too lovely, all sexy and gorgeous. It was like I'd never seen her properly before, and suddenly, there you go, she'd flicked my love switch full on...”
“Okay... but she doesn't want you? Why? You get on well, she went out with you, got all sexy and done up for you...”
“She knows everything about me Nate. Well almost everything. All the women and stuff I get up to.”
“Ah, now I get it. She doesn't mind being friends with a fucker like you, but she doesn't want to fuck a fucker like you.”
“That just about sums it up.”
“She does have a point bro, I mean you are a real bad case. The worse one of us three.”
“Nate...? You aren't helping me much.”
“Sorry, look forget about getting her in bed for now. Just be nice. It'll work. Might take a while though.”
“Nice?”
“Yeah, nice looks, nice words, little touches, little presents... all that crap.”
“Like what for instance?”
“Fuck Josh, I dunno, use your own imagination! Just don't go OTT. Two dozen red roses or ten 'love you' balloons is cheesy and obvious. If I were you, I'd get her something like a single pink rose. With a pink bow. A little note attached... saying, y'know, romantic things like 'Too beautiful for words' or 'Love me, touch me'.”
Well fuck me sideways, I'd never have thought of this on my own. It seems Nate's a real Romeo at heart.
He's suddenly on a roll with his Romeo tips and I soak it all up like a sponge. “A big bottle of perfume is a good one. Girls love that stuff. But make sure it's an expensive eau de parfum type, a classy one, like Chanel, Dior, Issy Miyake or something hot and 'in' - ask the sales girl, she'll know. Jewellery is always a hit, a charm bracelet, necklace or earrings... real gemstones, like sapphires or emeralds, diamonds are the best but obviously cost a packet... even minute ones... And take her for a day out somewhere, if you can get her to go. But it's got to be fun and non threatening like the seaside, a theme park, even Colchester fucking zoo... maybe a picnic in Castle park...”
“Okay I get it. Girly gifts, romantic words, nice days out.”
“So I take it you're not coming fishing with us for a while?” He says with a laugh.
“No. I've only got one fish in my mind. Eden is it.”
“Well who'd have thought, eh? Josh and Eden. Fuck! Can I tell Cal?”
“Sure, you can both have a fucking big laugh at my expense.”
“No, I'm pleased for you mate. Really I am. It's about time you had a real relationship with someone. And you already know all about her. She couldn't be a better choice. Good on 'ya Josh.”
=== * ===
I spend the afternoon at work in a happier frame of mind. I like the rose idea. I'm going to go to Eden's house tonight and offer her my first gift. Hopefully she won't hit me over the head with it. I'm not expecting her to give in very easily. She's a stubborn little bitch. Way too proud at times. It'll take more than a while, I'm sure of that.
I tell Eden I'm taking a quick 'bathroom break' and nip out to the florist around the corner for my rose. I see a very pale pink one. The florist calls it a blush. That sounds cute enough to win it for me. I ask her to put a matching bow on it and she wraps it in cellophane and gives me a tiny gift card. I'm more than happy with my gift and very pleased with myself. I scoot back to the gym and sneak it inside my locker, in a cup of water and then go off to think what to write on the card.
I settle on a simple “I Love You” It's not sickly lovey dovey. It's nice and sweet. I'm just starting out. She can get the full depth of my steamy romantic imagination further down the line.
I leave the gym after our usual Saturday clean up with my rose inside my holdall. I wait in my car for a half an hour to make sure she's settled in at home. I'm feeling nervous and excited about my visit.
I knock on her door and stand waiting with it hidden behind my back. She opens it and looks at me in surprise.
“Oh... What's up?”
“I just dropped by to give you something.” I edge past her sideways into the hallway.
“What's that?”
I lean forward and drop a very sexy smoochy kiss on the side of her surprised mouth and place my prized gift in her hand.
<
br /> The shock on her face is adorable. She is blushing and smiling a little too.
What a result!
I've never seen Eden blush before. I'm going to leave now while she's all flustered. I quickly put my head in the door of the living room first.
“Hi Lorraine.” I give her a wave. She looks up from her book and gives me a big smile.
“Hello Josh.” Oh good, she remembers my name now.
I'm out of the door with a smile on my face. She didn't hit me over the head with it anyway. It's a good start. I drive home thinking of my next step forward.
I arrive home and find a text from Eden. I read it three times.
“Thank you, it's lovely and I love you too.”
I'm careful with my reply, I don't want to overdo it and spoil the moment.
“ x :) ”
She seems to like that as soon I get a kiss back...
“ x ”
I feel like I want to drive back over there and kiss her like crazy. But I won't of course. On with my plan. Step two. A day out tomorrow. I'm taking Eden and Lorraine to Hedingham Castle for a picnic, if she agrees. The weather is supposed to be good tomorrow, I checked already. I'll call her in an hour or two, leave her in rose mood for the moment.
I drop in on Father. He is reading a Bernard Cornwell novel in his favourite chair. Dani is not with him this weekend. I bravely ask him about her.
“No lovely Danielle this weekend?”
“No, I don't think she'll be coming to stay again.”
“Oh, why's that?” I hold my breath as a heatwave flashes through me.
“I've cooled it off if you must know.” I let my breath out in relief. Not that I expected her to tell my father about us. She would never do that, I'm positive of it.
“But I thought you got on so well?” I know it's selfish of me but this makes my life so much easier. I would never be tempted by Danielle, not ever again, but facing her and living with our major indiscretion on a regular basis would have been so difficult for the both of us.
“Oh we do, but I had to admit to us both that she's far too young for me. She needs someone with a younger outlook. She's closer to your age than mine, you know.” Don't I fucking know it...