by Marie Harte
He smiled. “Amazing?”
“Something I always wanted. With the right guy.”
He nodded. “Something I always wanted. With the right woman.” He watched her. “So why are we not making love right now? I know you’re still unsure, and I don’t know why.” He saw her rattle the cuff and sighed. “You know you could have removed them at any time. Fine, I’ll do it.” He took off both cuffs. “What’s wrong, Nora? Please, be honest with me.”
“I am.” She sat up and patted the spot next to her. When he sat, she took his hand in hers. “Deacon, I think I might love you. But I don’t know. I thought I knew before, and I’ve been wrong before. A lot of times. You’re different. I want to be sure all these feelings I’m having are because I love you, and not that I love the idea of you and a baby you made more.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?” he asked and caressed her cheek.
She lost her train of thought. “Stop being so…so…”
“Irresistible?” he offered hopefully.
“Yes! I took a big step tonight, and I think I might have overstepped. Deacon, I could be pregnant right now.”
“Yeah.” He smiled. “Or not. What if we go two for two?”
“Huh?”
“You’re worried about the future and unsure of us. I understand. I love you, Nora. Saying it gets easier every time I do it.” He kissed her. “I also don’t want to pressure you. So let me know what you want.” He went to leave, and everything inside her rebelled.
She latched onto his wrist. “I’m so confused.” She felt teary and hated getting weepy in front of him.
“Aw, baby. Tell you what. Let me unconfuse you.” Before she could respond, he reached into the nightstand and drew out a condom. “But we’ll do it the safe way, okay? Then I’ll take you home. And you can think about what you want. But one way or the other, I am giving you a birthday present to celebrate your birthday. We’re going to spend more time together, so deal with it.”
God, why was he being so great? I love you so much, Deacon. Her heart knew what her mind didn’t want to accept. Because loving Deacon this much could lead to such heartache that had repercussions. Becca was tied to his family through Mitch, and Simon totally loved the big doofus.
“We can’t mess this up,” she said more to herself than to Deacon.
“We won’t. The only way we can is not to see what’s here between us. I love you, Nora.” He pulled her in for a kiss that melted her bones. “Now let me show you how much…”
Chapter 19
Deacon hadn’t been able to get Sunday out of his head. Telling Nora he loved her had opened something inside him. He felt freer than he’d been in a long time. Granted, if she decided they couldn’t be together for some reason, it would crush him. But he had a feeling accepting her into his life had healed that part of him that had been aching for so long.
“Well aren’t you a happy camper.” His father’s breath puffed in the cold as more snow started to fall.
They stood in the forest beyond Mitch’s house, enjoying Christmas Eve before the sun started to set. The entire family had decided to enjoy the holiday together, starting a day early, and since Nora would soon be arriving, Deacon didn’t mind staying at Mitch and Becca’s.
“Life is good, Dad. I’m enjoying the season.”
“Uh-huh. And that’s all it is?”
Deacon had danced around his mother with a vague reference to maybe dating Nora then disappeared before she could grill him. So she’d sicced his father on him. Smart woman.
“Dad, really? You’re spying for the enemy now?”
They paused as a family of deer bounded in front of them, heading deeper into the woods.
“Huge rack on that buck,” his dad murmured.
“Yeah.”
“Too bad none of us are hunters.”
Deacon grinned. “Mom’s the only one with the stomach to kill something that gentle and beautiful for venison. I’d rather starve.”
“Which is why I obey her orders, boy.” His father slung an arm around his shoulders and hugged him. Hard. “Now answer the question.”
“Fine.” When his dad loosened his grip, Deacon relaxed. Even a few years past sixty, the old man had the strength of a grizzly. “Nora and I are dating. But we’re new and keeping it quiet.”
“Good for you. I like that girl. She’s smart and sassy. Your mom likes her too.”
“So, Dad… How did you know Mom was the right woman for you?”
His father smiled. “Ah, now, there’s a question.” His father dropped his arm and started walking, so Deacon did as well. “Your mother refused me four times. Took a lot of fancy footwork to get that woman to agree to a simple date. A shared malt at our favorite ice cream shop sealed the deal. That, and I could spell. Your mother’s always been a stickler for good spelling.”
Deacon grinned. “Must be where I get it. Nora’s anal about spelling too. We play Scrabble a lot.” He left out the part about the naked betting.
“Ha. We’ll definitely have to play that over the next few days.”
“I don’t know. Nora can get pretty competitive.”
“Just Nora?” His father raised a brow. “If I remember right, you and your brother got into many a fight over game night. Of course, your mother was worse.”
“I remember when she put me in a headlock when I was in fourth grade. I lost at Go Fish and she made me say ‘teachers are great’ in four different languages.”
“Yep. I sure do love that woman.”
Deacon just realized something. “I guess Nora is a lot like Mom.”
“Of course she is, or you wouldn’t be in love with her, would you?”
“That’s a good point, but… I mean, I never said I loved her.”
His father gave him a kind smile. “Son, after the hell that Rhonda put you through, only love would get you so gone over a girl that you’d forget your parents know and see all. Yep, even when you were fighting for a moment’s peace, back when Rhonda screwed you over, we knew it was bad.”
Deacon blinked. “You did?”
To his shock, his father stopped walking to look into his eyes, and his dad’s looked glassy. “We talked to Roy a lot, and he said you were doing better without us. It about killed us not to be by your side through your darker moments, but we didn’t want to burden you. If you’d wanted our help, you’d have come to us.”
“Oh, ah…” Deacon flushed. “I don’t think I would have really done it. Killed myself, or anything.” Deacon felt shame that his folks might think that. “I considered it. More than a few times,” he admitted. “I was depressed and drinking too much.”
“Oh, Son. That woman wasn’t worth it.” His dad put a hand on his shoulder.
“I know. But I lost football, Dad. It hurt, so much.” And it still hurt, but not like it had. Deacon had other things of importance in his life now. Friends, family, love… “It just all hit me at once. But then I started to realize life existed outside sports.” He chuckled. “Sounds stupid.”
“Not at all. And you’re still involved in sports, you knucklehead. You coach a high school football team, and you’ve sent how many kids to college on scholarships?”
Deacon flushed. “That’s due to kid talent, not me.”
“Bull. That’s a good coach. That’s what that is.” Lee smiled. “And you let your little brother have a piece of the pie. You’re a good boy, Deacon. I love you.”
Deacon swallowed the ball of emotion in his throat and grinned. “I love you too, Dad.” He hugged his father, who hugged him back. Though Nora had teasingly called him a clinger, he’d inherited his need for snuggling from his old man. He appreciated that his parents had always welcomed shows of emotion, though his dad really didn’t like for them to see him cry.
“So, when are you and Nora going to tie the knot?” Lee asked.
“I don’t know. She hasn’t come around to loving me yet.”
“She will. Once you’re hit by a Flashman, you never re
cover.”
“Nice, Dad.”
“I still tell your mother that. Annoys the piss out of her, but I’m right.” His dad walked taller on the way back to the house.
Deacon hoped Nora would realize she could trust in their relationship. He’d come to grips with his own issues, and though he would always be more suspicious than openly trusting, that he didn’t fret about Nora’s fidelity or integrity told him all he needed to know about her.
Now it was up to Nora to figure out what she wanted.
He could only pray it was him.
Nora stared with excitement at the falling snow as she drove Becca up the mountain to her house. Becca had finished with the tea shop for the holidays, and Nora had offered to drive her back home, saving Mitch a car ride.
Simon, Jenna, and a few teenage friends were having a blast of a pool party, which would end right about the time Nora and Becca arrived to celebrate Nora’s birthday.
“I can’t believe how excited Simon is about this holiday.” Becca looked joyful, her hazel eyes bright.
“I can’t believe you actually let Mitch have Ava while you went into town.”
Becca frowned. “I’m not that bad.”
“You have a dent in your shoulder from where your daughter’s head usually lies.”
Becca laughed. “Stop. I’ve been letting Mitch hold her too.”
“Barely.”
“Let’s talk about you and not me,” Becca said smoothly. “Have you told Deacon yet?”
“Told him what?”
“Stop it. You’re a terrible liar. You know what I’m talking about.”
“I’m a great liar.” When Becca just gave her the look, Nora groaned. “I know, I know. I’m a coward.”
“Yep.”
“I love him, but I’m afraid if I tell him, things will change. It will be Flynn all over again.”
“Flynn?”
Nora blew out a breath. “Damn it. I never was going to tell you about him.”
“What?” Becca’s eyes grew wide, so Nora focused harder on the road. “You have secrets I don’t know? I tell you everything.”
Great. Now Becca looked hurt. Nora groaned. “Oh, stop. This is about me. Not you.”
“True. Speak.”
“Funny how you no longer look like I hurt your feelings, faker,” Nora muttered.
“I can and will sing to the car radio. Now talk, woman.”
“Fine! Flynn was a mistake I made two years ago. We were engaged for all of three weeks. I never told anyone because deep down I knew it was wrong, and I was embarrassed my nonstarter relationship went that far. I was just lonely and tired of being the odd woman out on everything.”
“Oh, Nora. I’m sorry.”
“You should be. I used to envy you, then I’d feel guilty about it. Neal was so perfect for you. Then you found Mitch. Talk about soulmates times two.”
Becca blushed. “Yes. I never thought I could have so much in life. I’ve been blessed many times over.” She gripped Nora’s hand and squeezed. “The least of which is being given a sister, especially with the parents I have.”
Nora didn’t like Becca dad and stepmother either. They lived petty little lives and had no time for their daughter or their grandson. “I agree. Your folks suck. But you’re a terrific sister.” Nora refused to cry.
“I am.” Becca nodded. “So I can tell you when you’re being foolish. Hiding what you feel because you’re afraid of being hurt is stupid. And you’re too smart for that, Nora.”
“Don’t hold back.”
“I won’t. You’ve been alone for so long. It’s not easy to find love with someone who’s worthy of you. You are an awesome person. And I happen to know Deacon, and he’s an awesome person. Together, you’d make an awesome couple.”
Nora shrugged. “Meh. As far as a pep talk, I’d say that’s on the lame side.”
Becca groaned. “Yeah, I heard myself saying ‘awesome’ too much too. But it’s true. Deacon has been through hell in his life, and he’s still so supportive and sweet. Mitch and I have talked about him. Deacon’s always been there for Mitch. For his family, for Roy. Heck, he’s a great shoulder to lean on and would give you the shirt off his back. But he won’t take help from anyone. Not Mitch, at least. Deacon really leaned on Roy a few years back, and between you and me, that hurt Mitch. But he understood. Deacon had to get himself back to a hundred percent his own way.”
“Do you think he’s back to a hundred percent though?”
Becca’s eyes narrowed. “Before you two started dating, I would have said no. He’s funny and smart, but he’s always been guarded. Now he’s smiling and laughing and just full of joy. It might sound corny, but it’s true. And that’s because of you.”
“He thought I was pregnant.”
“What?”
Thinking about the chances she’d taken made her feel really foolish. But she’d been crushing hard on Deacon, wanting a connection. “We were fooling around, not using protection, and then he saw some research I was doing for a book. About pregnancy.”
“Oh my God. Why would you not use protection?”
“Hey, no judging. There were circumstances… But then the last time, I wanted him. And maybe, I don’t know, I wanted his baby. Not a baby, his.”
“Ah. Because you’re in love with him.”
“He was happy enough to contribute to the occasion,” Nora said wryly. “I didn’t scare him away with the possibility of kids.”
“He’s so great with Simon and Ava.”
Nora’s belly fluttered as she thought on all she admired about Deacon. “I know. He’s a wonderful guy. And he can spell.”
“So when are you getting married?”
Well, didn’t Becca think she was so smart. Nora glared at her cousin across the kitchen, ignoring Mitch’s interest. Becca had it easy now. A great husband, money in the bank, and two amazing children. Nora was still reaching for her dream, to some day publish a book under her own name. She continued to strive to make ends meet, freelancing when the social media gigs went soft and doing more edits, which took time away from writing a book.
And then of course, she had to navigate a new, wonderful yet scary personal life, complete with a giant lothario who could make her orgasm with ease. How did a woman handle that? Not to mention all his exes looked like models with boobs.
Nora glanced down at herself. Well, she had the boob thing going for her. But she was nowhere as pretty as his exes. Could she trust that what she and Deacon had was real? Or was she just imprinting her own needs and feelings onto a perfectly decent—but not perfect for her—guy?
“Happy Birthday, Aunt Nora,” Simon yelled across the room.
Becca appeared behind him holding a cake with a bazillion candles on it.
Deacon snorted. “Jesus, Nora. Are you turning thirty-five or fifty?”
“Jackass,” she muttered.
Deacons parents, Mitch, Simon, Jenna, and a few teenagers still waiting to be picked up laughed and begged for cake.
Nora waited while everyone sang Happy Birthday to her. She focused on Deacon, who watched her with a smirk. She made her wish after blowing all thirty-five—not fifty, Deacon—candles.
“Oh, now your wish will come true,” Jenna said, standing by Simon.
Nora shot her an evil grin.
Jenna made the sign of the cross and winced. “I’m sorry. But packing that bag for you was my way of helping.”
Simon high-fived her. “Me too, Deacon.”
“No problem, Simon.” Deacon smiled. “I can’t wait until training camp next season, can you?”
Mitch hooted. “Oh yeah. It’s on. Simon. You are gonna run your ass off.”
“Mitch!” Becca reprimanded, gently but firmly.
Brenda Flashman snickered.
Mitch corrected himself. “Oh, er run your tail off, I meant.”
Deacon rolled his eyes. “Tail and ass are synonymous, Becca. Geez.”
“Yeah, Becca. Geez.” Nora agreed. Her co
usin needed to step down a notch with her rules about cursing.
Deacon winked at her, and for some reason Nora blushed, which made him laugh.
They cut the cake, and Nora consumed a second slice of the decadent red velvet goodness in seconds.
Deacon ate a second as well and agreed that Becca could bake her “ass” off any day of the week.
Then Nora opened presents, to her surprise, not having expected anything but cake. Her parents had left her a few hundred dollars in cash, to spend as she liked. Deacon’s parents gave her a sweater that Becca must have told them about, because it was in the right color and size. Becca bought her a pair of pricey boots Nora had had her eye on. And Mitch gave her a movie pass good for a year. After hugging and thanking everyone, she saw Simon step forward with a present.
“For you, my favorite aunt.” He stepped back.
She opened up the package to find a book about forgiveness.
“You should read it a few times. It preaches forgiving and forgetting,” Simon emphasized with a grin. “Oh, and I also promise to wash your car for you with a thorough detail. It’s a mess.”
“Thanks, you little punk.” She gave him a big hug and a wet kiss he gagged over. Then she leaned in to whisper, “But I never get mad. I get even. No forgetting here, bucko.” She still hadn’t yet forgiven him for tricking her into meeting Becca at the tea shop.
He cringed. “I only lie for a good cause. Besides, Mom made me do it.”
Her evil laugh creeped him out until Deacon clapped a hand over her mouth. “Easy, Killer. You’re freaking out Simon and his friends. And me, to be honest.”
The crowd dispersed as more teens went home. Mitch and Simon left to drive to drive Jenna into town. Becca retreated to feed Ava, who had woken from her nap, and the Flashmans left Nora with Deacon, knowing smiles on their faces.
“Finally alone.” He seemed nervous. “Um, come with me.”
“Only if it’s a good present.”