I turned to order another margarita for her, which by now I could do simply by catching the bar tender's eye and pointing to Heidi's empty glass.
"Some guys are just like that," I told her. "You can't take it personally — he could have been dancing with Cara Delevingne and would have found someone else if she went off to get a drink."
"But he was kissing me..." she protested. "He was... touching me..."
"You're better off finding someone else," I said. "Trust me."
I handed over her drink, and she gratefully received it and took a large slurp. A glance at my phone told me it was actually beginning to get late. Not bachelor party late, but at least a respectable hour for leaving a nightclub. We'd had a good time — Heidi had gotten frisky with a couple of guys.
One of them had made her come, for heaven's sake.
Maybe it was time to celebrate our victories and call it a night. Heidi's glum silence beside me made me suspect she was thinking the same thing.
Then purely by chance I caught a glimpse of a familiar face. It was the sandy-haired guy Heidi had danced with earlier. The guy who had freaked her out because she'd felt his erection pressing against her through his pants while they'd been making out.
"Hey, isn't that your friend from before?" I asked her, pointing him out.
"Uh... yeah..." she agreed. "Nathan."
"You liked him, didn't you?"
"He was nice."
"And you know he liked you." I looked into her eyes and she broke out into a mischievous smile.
"He did..."
She was wavering, a classic old-school Heidi trait. I felt she needed one more little pick-me-up before we called it a night. She needed to go out on a high. To do that, though, she would need a little compulsion.
"Right," I said. "I want you to go up to him and say sorry about before, you suddenly really needed a drink or something... See if he'd like another dance."
"Okay..."
"Then if it seems like he likes you again... take things further."
"I'll try," she said, putting her glass back on the bar.
"Do or do not, there is no try," I said, quoting Yoda. Okay, so Heidi had never been much of a Star Wars fan, but even that one I thought she'd get. She didn't, though, didn't even smile at it. She took it literally — as me ordering her to go for that guy.
Well, I wasn't going to clarify. It seemed to have the right effect: she gave a curt nod, then complied with my request. I watched her sidle up to the sandy-haired guy, Nathan, and greet him somewhat apologetically. He seemed delighted and surprised to see her again, and from the way he looked at her, it seemed she'd averted offense.
Then they were dancing, and I felt the slow spread of warm hope inside me, along with the flicker of darkness — that this guy might actually take Heidi home, maybe even fuck her.
They got into it more quickly this time — already attuned to each other. They were dancing close, and then they were making out again, nervously like a couple of virgins, before warming to each other. I saw Heidi pressing herself to him, and could tell she could feel his response to her.
This time I watched Heidi put into practice what she'd gained from the previous guy, guiding Nathan's hands over her body, allowing him to touch her breasts, her behind, maybe even slip his hands up her dress. Nathan wasn't as bold as the previous guy, but I took that as a positive sign. Heidi didn't need a walking hard-on like that. She needed someone who would appreciate her and build her confidence.
Then Heidi was giggling at something Nathan had said, and apologizing as she pulled her mobile phone out from God knew where.
What was going on? The two of them looked great together. Was she going to flake out on this one, too?
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and retrieving it I found a text message from Heidi:
>He wants to go somewhere. What should I do?
I laughed, and felt a nervous bolt of energy shoot through my heart. Jesus. Was I really going to let some guy take her home? The throbbing in my pants said 'yes'.
I replied:
>Tell him it's late, maybe he'd like to walk you home? You'll feel safer at your place — and I'll know where you are.
I figured she didn't want to just agree to go with him wherever he wanted, but if he took her home she'd have more time to get to know him and decide whether she wanted to invite him into her place or not.
>Okay. Thanks xx
She stashed her phone again, and said something to him, smiling and nodding. Then, Nathan escorted her off the dance floor and over to the cloakroom. My heart rate picked up considerably. I followed them at a discreet distance, and as Heidi was putting on her coat, she turned her head to find me and subtly seek out my confirmation, my approval for this to happen.
I gave her my blessing with a subtle nod, and then she turned away from me and left the club with Nathan.
I watched them leave, I watched them flag down a taxi and jump inside. The turbulence I felt inside... I was seriously turned on and yet already haunted by my decision.
Chapter Six
I took a taxi myself, back to my place. The journey started off on a high, but the further we went through the City, the more my energy levels seemed to fade.
I think I just kind of accepted that life was going to return to normal. I'd had my quirky little fun with Heidi, but now she was finally getting it on with her next boyfriend, and had to be over her self-confidence crisis, in part thanks to my advice about making herself attractive again.
I could quietly feel satisfied that I'd righted a wrong from our own split, and that I'd probably influenced Heidi to take a different approach to her relationships — which would, in turn, help to minimize the risk of future break-ups, though it could never prevent them.
Meanwhile, maybe Heidi and I could have the occasional drink together as platonic friends, but maybe I would just be quietly forgotten, phased out, left behind.
And then as I was heading past Whitechapel in my taxi, I received a text from Heidi:
>We're nearly back at my place. Been making out the whole way. He thinks I'm texting my best girlfriend so she knows I'm okay.
I sat in the back of my taxi and broke out into a big smile. It was a bit of a surprise. I wasn't sure why she was keeping me informed, but I liked it. It started up those warm feelings inside me again, the ones that came from thinking about Heidi being naughty with other guys.
I replied:
> That's great! I'm headed home myself. You can text me whenever you need.
I didn't know what else to say. I might have gotten her into this, but I suddenly didn't feel it was my place to interfere in what she was doing with Nathan.
Only, then she texted:
>What should I do when we get to my place?
I couldn't quite work out her angle. Was she asking my advice because she was genuinely clueless? She'd done okay at the start of our relationship, I seemed to recall. She had only been in two proper relationships, though. Was she trying to keep me involved because she was somehow trying to tempt me into getting back together with her? Perhaps I was merely imagining that because I'd become so much more interested in her recently.
I didn't mind coaching her, though. It was strangely fun.
>Invite him in for coffee, then while the kettle boils start making out with him again. Just like on the dance floor, only this time let things go as far as you like.
She replied:
>And then?
I felt my heart thudding against the wall of my chest again, my cock thick and hard in my pants. My hand trembled a little as I clutched my phone, but I typed:
>Sleep with him. Enjoy yourself. He's obviously into you.
A moment passed, and I found myself wondering what were the chances that she would actually sleep with him. If she was the one pushing for it, they had to be high. A guy offered easy sex was hardly going to turn it down if he fancied the girl offering it.
Heidi sent me another text:
>He actually thinks I'm a bit of a m
an-eater! Said he doesn't normally go out with girls who are so forward, but he likes it.
I replied:
>Okay, so go get him. Let me know how it goes afterwards.
I hovered over the send button, debating with myself whether to include that last part of the message. What if she didn't want to come back to me and say how it went, with a new relationship underway? She might prefer to just move on, and that would probably be the healthiest thing. What if I couldn't handle the thought of her actually sleeping with the guy? Either it would make me angry at her, or make me completely lose interest.
Well, I hit the send button. I did want to know what happened. The way I was feeling, I couldn't conceive of losing interest because she actually slept with the guy — in fact, it seemed more likely I'd go the other way, and become even more fascinated in her.
I'd seen the clean, conservative Heidi. I'd dated her for months, married her, and the interest had fizzled. I was getting hooked on this new Heidi — the adventurous Heidi, the hot-looking Heidi. The slutty Heidi.
I arrived home and it was 1am. I couldn't sleep — I kept thinking about what Heidi might be up to now. I slumped in front of the TV with a glass of red wine, not really watching the first thing I clicked on my Netflix list.
I actually regretted breaking up with Heidi, I decided. Well, there was a turn-up for the books. I was sitting there wishing we'd stayed together. And yet at the same time, I could not work out how I could have possibly come up with the idea of giving her a make-over and pushing her to see other guys while continuing to sleep with me.
This was what drew her to me now: she was like some pliable doll who would do my bidding, and my bidding was to make her promiscuous for my own amusement. It wasn't a particularly politically correct view of a relationship, but that was how my fantasy had emerged. I could see no conceivable way our relationship could have moved that way had I remained with Heidi. I'd had to split up with her and then have her come to me asking for help moving on, in order to discover this fantasy in the first place.
But now she had found another guy, I was afraid to lose her.
It was some kind of catch-22. I couldn't corrupt her and keep her, I felt certain. But I didn't want to keep her unless I had corrupted her.
If I'd known then what I knew now, while we'd been dating, before we'd gotten married, I could have suddenly said to Heidi, maybe you need to have a little more experience... of guys... of sex... of life... before we think about taking the next step and actually settle down together. But she probably would have taken that as me wanting to split up with her, even if it was amicable.
Sitting there on the couch, I was hard as I thought about her. And every tick of the clock made me more certain things were going well, and that Nathan had become the fourth guy ever to thrust his cock inside her. Four guys. Funny how that made me still think of Heidi as inexperienced, a virtual virgin. A generation ago, that would have had her labeled a harlot.
1:45am. They had to have fucked by now. She'd probably fallen asleep in his arms. I found myself thinking about what it might be like to see Heidi again, have coffee with her. I'd be thinking: you just had some other guy inside you, fucking you, filling your tight pussy with his hard cock. I'd be wanting her, badly, and I wouldn't be able to have her. Things would have to remain platonic. Maybe I'd refuse to have coffee with her. I was an asshole.
Then my phone buzzed. I thought at first it must be a text message, and I strongly hoped she would share at least enough detail with me to confirm that he had, indeed, fucked her.
But as I struggled to pull the damn thing out of my pocket, it kept on buzzing. Not a text message, then. She was calling me.
I picked up.
"Hello? Heidi?"
At first, I couldn't understand what I was hearing. Deep breathing, maybe a quiet cry. For a very brief moment I thought she might have called me by mistake in the middle of some marathon sex session.
But then she sniffed.
"I'm... I'm sorry... for calling so late..."
She was upset, in tears. I felt some cold claw grab my insides. What if something terrible had happened to her?
"Heidi? Are you okay? Is everything all right?"
Another sniff, then, "I'm okay. He's... he's gone now."
"What happened? Did he...? What did he...?"
She was too upset to quite get the words out. She might have said she was okay, but I was suddenly regretting allowing her to take a strange man home alone.
"Did he hurt you?" I demanded to know.
"No — no, nothing like that," she forced herself to say. "He... I... I don't know what happened."
Whatever had happened, I wasn't going to get it out of her over the phone, I could tell that easily enough. Whatever he'd done to her, I didn't like the thought that it could so easily spoil the self-confidence we'd put so much effort into building up.
"You want me to come over?"
And besides, I wanted to see her. Whether to tease myself further, or revel in how far she had gone before it had turned upsetting, or to give in to temptation and just take her for myself, I couldn't entirely tell until I got there.
But since I'd broke up with her, I guess I did miss having a close companion around.
"Is that... okay?" she sniffed.
"Of course it is. Stay put. I'll be there in two ticks."
Uber had me in a minicab in no time, and with the complete lack of traffic at that time of night, I was quickly clambering out and buzzing at the front door of Heidi's building. She let me in almost immediately.
Upstairs, she opened her front door and leapt into my arms. At least she wasn't crying any more. She held me tight. She was still wearing her dress, just the same as when I'd seen her last, but her mascara had run from where she'd been crying, and where she'd rubbed her eyes — and her lipstick was smeared. I could smell her perfume, and as I pressed my cheek to hers, I thought I could detect the faint lingering traces of a man's cologne.
"What happened?" I said as she finally loosened her grip on me, and we were able to get inside her place and close the front door.
"Your flatmates..." I suddenly asked her, concerned we might not have privacy.
"They're both with their boyfriends," Heidi said.
She led me into the small sitting room. I sat in the armchair across from her as she sank down on the couch.
"So what happened?" I asked her.
She looked uneasy, but I gave her the kind of look that told her that if she wasn't going to open up, there was no point my being there.
She said, "It was nice... to begin with... I did what you said. We were... kissing. Touching. We went into my bedroom..."
"And?"
She looked slightly surprised that I wanted to know. After a moment, though, she said sheepishly, "I... pulled down his jeans and..."
"And?"
"You know... I... I went down on him."
My Heidi had sucked on another man's cock. Even that was enough to quicken my pulse and thicken my manhood. Her smeared lipstick was explained, and provided sweet evidence to her story.
"You liked it?"
She looked awkward. "He... it... kind of went soft," she said quietly. A little humiliated to be telling me this, but she felt she had to. What was the point in having me over otherwise? And I, selfishly, wanted to know.
"I couldn't get it hard again," she went on, her resolve building a little in telling me. "He got kind of embarrassed, I think. He said he had to get up early in the morning for something... for a meeting..."
"What, so he left?"
She nodded, eyes downcast.
"Well that's a load of BS. If he had to get up so early for something, he would never have gone to a club tonight. And meetings on a Sunday morning? Is he on crack?"
Heidi smiled weakly at my gentle outrage. I pulled her in for another hug. She wrapped her arms around my waist and squeezed me, grateful for my being there.
"There is something wrong with me, isn't there?" she sa
id quietly.
"There's nothing wrong with you."
"He was nice... but... I wasn't good enough..."
"Nonsense. He just couldn't get it up. His problem."
"I don't think... I don't think he liked what I was doing..."
I sighed. I knew, deep down, that Heidi had never been the greatest between the sheets. But it took two to tango. A guy could always show her what he wanted, lead her. I guess I hadn't, though, during our relationship.
"Show me," I said, not entirely clear on what I was demanding of her. I knew I needed more information on her about what happened, if I was to determine how she should bounce back. I added, "Show me what you did with him."
She took another deep breath, nodded. She stood, and I saw her tremble a little — totter a little on her feet. Had I really just asked her to go down on me, right here, now? I suppose she might have decided to go fetch a bottle and show me what she'd done with Nathan, but there was a new hunger in her eyes that suggested she wanted more than that.
I waited in that armchair a moment, not quite sure what she was thinking, what she was going to do. Then she held out her hands, offering to help me up.
"We were in the kitchen, to begin with," she said quietly. I reached forward to take hold of her hands, but used my own power to launch myself up onto my feet.
She kept hold of one of my hands and led me out to the kitchen.
"I was going to make us some coffee, just like you said," she said, indicating the kettle and the two mugs that remained on the kitchen counter, complete with coffee granules in the bottom, though never filled.
"But you kissed him instead?" I said.
She nodded and smiled, then pulled me to her, her hands moving to the back of my head, tilting my face down so that she could touch my lips with hers.
I let her lead the kiss. It was a little like the last time we'd kissed, when I'd taught her to be gentle back in Johnny's — only since then, my desire for her had grown further still. Her make-up, her dress, her perfume all emphasized her femininity to me, and the fact that she'd made the effort to look good, her new attitude to dating. And the fact was she'd taken another guy home for sex — and had used these lips on him, on his mouth, on his cock.
Heidi, Corrupted (An Ex-Wife Sharing Romance) Page 7