by J. L. Wilder
Fucking once—that was bad enough. They had risked so much today. But if they made a habit of it, it was sure to ruin both of their lives. There was no future for a beta and an omega.
Unless I can win the Games. If I can win, if I can claim my rightful role as alpha, then maybe I can come back and claim her.
But how could he possibly hope to enter the Games now? Entering with Haley was obviously out of the question, and the idea of competing with anybody else felt too awful to contemplate. How could he enter the Games with one partner in the hopes of winning another?
Besides, I wouldn’t be able to win with anyone else. I would never be able to get in sync with her. I would be thinking about Haley the whole time.
Oh, this was a disaster. He definitely shouldn’t have done this.
He buttoned his pants and ran his hands through his hair. “I need to get back to school,” he said. “They’re going to miss me.”
She nodded. “I should meet my friend before she comes looking for me.”
“Are you sure you’re all right?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” she said. “Seriously. More than fine. That was...amazing. Even if it was a mistake. It was good while it lasted.”
“All right,” he agreed.
“Go,” she said. “Let’s not ruin it by getting ourselves caught.”
He nodded. “I guess I’ll see you at the Games, if we don’t run into each other before then.”
“You’re not going to keep sneaking onto campus, are you?” she asked.
“No, I think that’s pretty much over,” Jasper said.
She nodded. Was she relieved or disappointed? He couldn’t tell. “I’ll see you at the Games, then,” she said.
He turned and set off at a jog, aching to look back at her and knowing that he couldn’t allow himself to. If he looked back, he was going to go back.
I can’t go back. I have to leave her behind.
He would have to pretend that nothing had happened between them. It was going to be next to impossible, considering his brothers knew her and might try to bring her up again. But for both of their sakes, Jasper knew that he would have to keep his encounter with Haley a secret.
TOM
Tom had spent the day in the library, trying to put the events of the past few days out of his mind, and to his surprise, he had been moderately successful. The result was that he was the last one to arrive at dinner that night. Jasper and Dean were already at their usual table, already eating, when Tom put down his tray and joined them.
“Where’ve you been?” Dean asked.
“Library,” Tom said.
“I thought you were done with all your finals,” Dean said.
Tom shrugged and dropped into his seat. Dean was right, of course. He was done with his finals. But if he had gone anywhere else, he would have had to hear people talking about the Alpha Games.
Tom didn’t want to think about alphas.
And he didn’t want to think about the Games, either. Because when the Games began, he would need to decide whether he was going to approach Haley and ask her to join up with him after school was over. He knew he would only have a window of a few days to make his decision and act, and the idea was intimidating.
Dean clearly had other things on his mind. “Have you talked to the Board about entering the Games yet?” he asked Jasper.
“You know they’re not going to let me in,” Jasper said. “Not without an omega at my side.”
Was it Tom’s imagination, or did Jasper sound less upset about that fact than he should? Had he just given up on the whole idea of the Games? That would be a surprise.
“I still say we shouldn’t write off that Haley girl,” Dean said.
It gave Tom a jolt to hear Haley’s name in conversation. She had loomed so large in his imagination lately that he had almost begun to believe she belonged to him alone, that the others had nothing to do with her. But of course, her brothers had spent the same amount of time with Haley as he had. They knew her just as well as he did.
“I told you she wasn’t an option,” Jasper said, his voice practically a growl.
“Yeah,” Dean said. “But you never really said why.”
“I did say why,” Jasper countered. “She told us she didn’t want to do it. What more do we need from her?”
“I didn’t want to do it at first either,” Dean said. “People change their minds, you know. She could have changed her mind.”
“I don’t know why you’re so fixated on her,” Jasper said. “It’s weird. You should drop it.”
“I’m not fixated,” Dean said.
“You did bring her up out of nowhere,” Tom pointed out, although God knew he didn’t have any room to talk. He hadn’t stopped thinking about Haley since they had left the Omega U campus. If anybody was fixated, it was him.
“Whose side are you on?” Dean demanded, turning to face him.
“Why do there have to be sides?” Tom asked. “We all want the same thing, don’t we?”
“I honestly have no idea,” Dean said. “I know I want to get Jasper entered in the Games so he can win us some prize money. I know Jasper wants to enter so he can prove to himself how big and bad he is.”
Tom darted a glance at Jasper. Ordinarily, a comment like that would have set him off, but today, he hardly seemed to notice what Dean was saying. He’s preoccupied. But by what?
“But I don’t know what you want,” Dean went on. “Do you even care about the Games? Does it matter to you whether we’re entered?”
Tom didn’t know what to say. “I want you guys to be happy,” he said.
“I think maybe you’re glad we didn’t find an omega,” Dean said. “I think you’re glad Jasper’s not going to be in the Games because all you ever do is worry about toeing the line and staying out of trouble.”
“Okay,” said Tom, riled up now. “I don’t know why you’re coming at me, first of all, because he is the one who turned down your pick for a Games partner and refused to pursue her. The only thing I ever did was save her from that alpha who was attacking her.”
“Yeah, you’re a real hero,” Dean said.
“We would never have met her at all if I hadn’t done what I did,” Tom said. “She’d probably belong to Zach by now. I’m not a hero, but don’t start acting like I’m not on your side out of nowhere, because what I did absolutely got you what you wanted, and you know that.”
“Except I didn’t get what I wanted, did I?” Dean asked. “We don’t have an omega, and Jasper’s not entered in the Games.”
Tom sighed. “Dean, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason Jasper never came into his own as alpha is that you’re such a rebellious fucking wiseass all the time and no one could have brought you under control?”
Jasper’s eyes widened.
Dean stood abruptly, kicking his chair back. “Screw you both,” he said. “I’m obviously the only one who cares about this family.” He turned and strode out of the dining hall.
Jasper and Tom watched him go.
“That’s not why I’m not an alpha,” Jasper said eventually. “I could have gotten him under control. He’s not that obnoxious.”
Tom sighed. “I know. He just got to me, and I wanted to hurt him.”
“I wonder where the hell he’s going?” Jasper mused.
DEAN
He didn’t think she would be there, but she was.
She had no reeds this time. At first, he thought she was fishing, but then she stepped into the moonlight, and he saw that she was naked. Swimming.
Haley smiled at him from the water. “You came back,” she said.
She was captivating. He had never seen anything more beautiful in all his life. Without thinking, without knowing what he was doing or why he was doing it, he stripped off his clothes and walked down the bank to join her in the river.
“You seem like you knew I would come,” he said. “Is that why you were here? Waiting for me?”
“Hoping,” she
said. “I didn’t like the way we left things.”
What was wrong with the way we left things?
He should ask, he knew. But her allure was so strong. Was it the current pulling him closer to her now, propelling him toward her? Or was it something else? Did he just ache that badly to have his hands on that moon-kissed skin?
What the hell am I thinking?
“I came here to ask you about the Games,” he said, reminding himself more than actually putting the question to her. He couldn’t allow himself to get carried away here.
It’s a bit late for that. You’re already naked in the river with her.
I just got in to go for a swim!
But she was stepping into his space, pressing herself up against him as boldly as if they were already intimate. “I’ve been thinking about that too,” she admitted. “Maybe I decided too quickly. Maybe I should have thought about it a little more.”
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You’re saying you’ll do it?”
“I’m saying I’m thinking about it.” She lifted his hands in hers. “Make me want it,” she said. “You know you can make me want anything.”
“Haley, I don’t know—”
“I won’t regret it,” she whispered. “I don’t regret it.”
He couldn’t help it. He felt as if his skin was on fire. He pulled her against him, rolling his hips, grinding against her stomach.
Her fingers slid down his chest and wrapped around him. “I’ve been wanting this. I’ve been wanting to touch you like this.”
Since when?
But he couldn’t stop her. As confused as he was, he couldn’t find it in him to turn away.
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and he knew without asking what she wanted. He lifted her carefully in his arms. It was too easy, with the water beneath her helping her to float, and he was able to position her carefully and slide himself into her with no trouble at all.
Haley sighed. She gripped him tightly with arms and legs and rested her head on his chest. “You can go as fast as you want,” she said. “I want it to be good for you. It doesn’t hurt at all.”
“Are you sure?” Dean asked. It came out a groan. If she asked him to stop now, he might actually die. “Are you sure you want this?”
“Don’t you?” she asked.
“God, yeah,” he said. “But it’s not why I came.”
“It never is,” she said.
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
He didn’t care. It didn’t matter. He just wanted more of this.
He held her hips still in the water and fucked her, moving with the current, moving against the current, feeling as if he was a part of the river. He had been with girls before, but this was different. There was something almost compulsory about it. The want seemed to come from somewhere deeper than wanting usually did. He wanted her the way he wanted food. The way he wanted air.
He missed the moment when her orgasm arrived. It came upon her gradually and crested like a wave, and when it was over, she lay against him, shuddering in the aftermath, legs kicking at the water.
She crawled away from him, up onto the bank, and lay on her back, staring up at the stars.
“Will I see you again?” she asked.
Dean was nowhere near ready to answer the question he knew she was really asking.
“We’ll see each other at the Games,” he said. “If not before.”
She nodded. “Before.”
He didn’t know what to say, so he turned and strode off into the woods, pausing only to scoop up his clothes.
This is why we’re told to stay off of the Omega U campus. The rumors about omegas are true. They do want it bad.
Not that he had been turning her away.
God. I just hope I haven’t ruined Jasper’s chances of entering the Games with her.
But deeper even than that hope was another, one he couldn’t shake.
He wanted to see her again. He wanted more.
Chapter Thirteen
HALEY
Going to class seemed like something Haley had done in another life.
In this life, she belonged to Jasper.
The only thing that mattered was when he was going to come back.
She waited by the river, hoping he would know to find her there. Surely, he would come to look for her there, having found her there twice already. Surely, he would understand that this was her sanctuary, the place she went to be alone.
She waited, but he didn’t come.
Two days passed. Two days of missed classes. Two days that she would never get back. She had no idea what her professors were thinking of her. Four years of being a model student, and now it must seem that she was throwing it all away.
But I’m not.
When Jasper knew what Haley had come to realize the night the two of them had been together at the river, he would take her away and the two of them would start a life together. There would be no more worry about finding an alpha. There would be no more worry about the Alpha Games.
Everything was going to be all right now.
Haley felt as if she were floating on a cloud.
And on the third day after they’d made love in the river, he returned to her.
She arrived at the water’s edge early in the morning, carrying two pieces of toast for her breakfast, and he was already there. He was waiting for her.
She stood back among the trees for a few minutes, just admiring him. The way the sun lit up his skin. The way the wind blew through his dark hair. The way he leaned carelessly against a rock as if he had nothing at all to worry about.
Because he doesn’t. Because when we’re together, all the worry disappears.
Whether he knew it or not, she was sure he must have sensed it. The connection between them. The power it held. On some level, he must know that something has changed.
And when she told him what she knew, it would change everything.
She stepped forward. “Hi,” she said.
He looked up at her.
He didn’t smile.
“I thought I might find you here,” he said.
So serious. “Is something wrong?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “Not really. I came because I wanted to ask you something, Haley.”
She felt a little thrill. Whether it was anticipation, eagerness, or fear, she couldn’t be sure. “Ask away, Jasper.”
He frowned. “I’m not Jasper,” he said. “Sorry. I should have led with that. I’m Tom. I guess you don’t know us well enough to tell us apart.”
“Oh,” she said dumbly. “I just assumed...”
“You assumed Jasper would come?” Tom asked.
“Well, yeah,” she said. “After...”
And then she paused.
He was looking at her in frank confusion, his head cocked to one side as if he had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. What she was thinking.
He doesn’t know, she realized.
And she wasn’t going to be the one to tell him. Not if Jasper hadn’t. It wouldn’t be right.
“I just thought I would see Jasper again,” she said. “I thought he would come and...and try to persuade me to do the Alpha Games.”
“No, I think he gave up on that the first time we talked to you,” Tom said. “He was really clear with us that he wasn’t going to ask you again. He said so just a few nights ago at dinner. Dean was the one who was pushing for it at that point.”
“He was?” Haley felt a sudden stab of uneasiness. Three nights ago, in the river...
The man she had been with had asked her again about the Games. Had tried to convince her to participate.
If Tom were right, if it was Dean and not Jasper who had been planning to ask her a second time...
Her mind raced as she tried to remember what else had been said. Had he ever confirmed who he was? Or had she just assumed?
No. No. No, I couldn’t have.
Could I?
It had felt different. But Haley had assumed that was because it wasn’t her first time, or maybe because they were in the water. There had been a lot of differences.
It doesn’t mean it was necessarily a different person.
“Haley,” Tom said, getting to his feet and moving to her side. “Are you okay? You look like you’re going to pass out or something.”
She couldn’t answer him. She didn’t know what to say.
“Here,” he said. “Sit down. Come here.”
She could ask him, she realized. If anyone would know where his brothers had been that night, it would be Tom. Would he be able to account for their whereabouts?
And would she be able to ask the question without giving away her reason for wanting to know?
She hesitated, then spoke. “Jasper came back,” she said. “That’s why I thought you were him at first. He came back here again.”
“After the day we all met at the river, you mean?”
She nodded.
“I don’t understand,” Tom said. “Why would he come back? He said he wasn’t going to ask you to compete with him in the Games again.”
“Do you know where he was three nights ago?” she asked him.
“Three nights ago...” he mused. “That would be Tuesday, right?”
“Yeah, Tuesday.”
“We had a fight at dinner,” Tom said. “Well, not Jasper so much. Dean got all pissed off at me, though, and stormed out, and we didn’t see him for the rest of the night. Jasper and I went back to our dorm and watched TV for a while.”
Her heart sank. “You’re sure that was Tuesday?” she asked. “Jasper was with you, and Dean was missing?”
“Yeah,” Tom said, cocking his head. “Why do you look like that bothers you?”
She couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t.
But I have to tell someone.
“He was here,” she said quietly. “Dean was here. With me.”
“I don’t get it,” Tom said. “I thought you said Jasper was the one who came back.”
“He did,” Haley said. “Jasper came a few days before Dean. But they both came.” And to her horror, she began to cry.