by Carla Rossi
Focus, focus, focus... Business as usual...
“I’m sorry I messed up, Lord. Please help us to worship You and not get bogged down in the gossip and speculation of mine and Shade’s short-lived joke of a romance. It won’t happen again...” Her words trailed off into a steady babbling request for help. Amidst her haze of anger and the simple truth that her heart was seriously bruised, if not outright broken, she had no idea what she truly needed. So the prayer ended as desperate pleas often do. “Lord, please fix it. Thank you. Amen.”
Mercifully, the sanctuary was dark and quiet when she went inside. She brought up the lights, turned on the sound board, and headed straight for her storage closet. It was the perfect place to look busy as she waited for the others to arrive, and oh, how she hoped anyone but Shade would get there first.
Then she heard his voice—and he wasn’t alone.
She stepped out of the closet. He approached the front flanked by two men she’d never seen. The skinny guy to his left was dressed all in black, with short spiky hair. The one on his right was a slightly older, bald guy in brown leather. More disturbing details became evident as they got closer. Skinny-gothic-guy’s fingernails were painted deep purple, while bald-leather-guy seemed to be in the process of gauging his earlobes. She’d seen the technique on students at school. Why anyone would want to stretch their tender skin to hold an earring the size of a tire rim was waaaay beyond her realm of comprehension.
“Lord, c’mon,” she whispered to herself. “I ask You for help and You send me two more rejects from the circus?
Shade set down his case and met her on the platform. She steeled herself against his warm smile, sparkling eyes, and caring demeanor. She couldn’t trust any of those things.
“Hey,” he said and took a nervous step closer. “I had some unexpected visitors. Hope you don’t mind.”
Mind? Of course, she minded. Their appearance alone would set Kevin bouncing off the walls so fast she’d have to nail his feet to the floor to keep him on the ground. Since they were most likely musicians, Max would be so busy trying to prove he was an accomplished percussionist, there would be no slowing his tempo to any rational speed.
A nick of conviction pierced deep in her heart. This is church, it reminded her. Everyone is welcome at church.
“I don’t mind,” she said and forced a smile. “Introduce us.”
“Guys, I’d like you to meet Candi. She’s in charge of the worship team here. Candi, this is Spider Monkey and Tom.”
More Dead Lizards. She remembered the names from their conversation in the car.
“Hello,” she said and shook each outstretched hand. “What brings you to Spring?”
Tom hooked his thumbs in his the belt loops of his jeans. “Business, mostly.”
“Are you playing around here?”
“Nah,” Spider Monkey said, “just checking up on Shade and exploring some opportunities in this area.”
“It’s good to have you. I need to finish setting up, but everyone else should be here shortly.”
“I’ll be right back,” Shade said to his friends and then turned his attention toward Candi. He lowered his voice. “I need to talk to you about Kelly.”
She hadn’t expected that. “Kelly? What is it? Is something wrong?” Panic took her breath and she didn’t know why.
“Relax,” he said and followed her to the closet door. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“Then what is it?”
“You should ask her to sing tonight. She has a song ready. It’s not for congregational singing so you’ll have to slot her in to the offertory spot, or just let her sing it as a special song.”
“But Kelly doesn’t like to sing by herself. She’s shy.”
“Shy, yes, but no shrinking violet. Just ask her tonight and see how it goes.”
He picked up two music stands and turned to walk away.
She grabbed his sleeve. “Hold on a minute. How do you know this? I’ve been trying for a year to get her to sing by herself, and she doesn’t seem interested. I know she has the talent, but she shuts down every time I try to give her a lead on something.”
“It’s not that she doesn’t want to sing, she just doesn’t want to sing what you want her to sing. You want her to do what the rest of the band is doing but, the truth is, she’s much more comfortable singing her own stuff.”
“How did you find that out?”
He put the stands back down. “I overheard her singing one night before practice. She’d written this great song called Tell Jesus. I helped her tighten it up a bit and make a chord chart so the band could play along if she wanted us to. I’m telling you she’s ready.”
She pushed a piece of hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear. “All right. I’ll ask her.”
He lifted the stands again. “Anything else?”
She nodded toward Spider Monkey and Tom who had discovered a pew Bible and a tithing envelope and seemed to be discussing the two items. “So, uh, when did your colorful visitors arrive?”
The muscle in his jaw twitched. She suspected he knew she was fishing for information. Probably didn’t appreciate the word “colorful” either.
“They were at my house when I got home from work yesterday.”
They both glanced at the two men who had opened the Bible and were now taking turns sniffing the inside.
Shade leaned in. “You and Pastor Charles keep telling me I’m an evangelist. Well, I’m evangelizing. This is as close to church as those two have been since Vacation Bible School when they were kids. Consider this my first attempt at soul-winning. And you can either help me, or you can continue to be hung up on their colorful appearance.”
The sight of him turning away after his scathing remark was the worst thing she’d ever seen.
She limped to the closet and steadied herself against the file cabinet. More anger crept into her already saturated brain. Inside she roared like a captured lion. How dare he read Kelly better in a few short weeks that she had in two years? How dare he slice her to ribbons and then walk away? How dare he be so right about her once again? Especially after he’d caused her such hurt and confusion with the whole secret baby fiasco.
“Are you all right, hon?” Carol Ann’s fragrant cloud of Youth Dew made it into the room before she did.
Candi tugged at the waistband of her charcoal gray pencil skirt. “I’m fine.”
The older woman narrowed her gaze. “You don’t look fine. Did you get everything worked out with Shade and that sweet little baby?”
Candi slumped to a folding chair that was wedged between the cabinet and the wall. “There’s nothing to work out. It’s over.”
Carol Ann pulled the closet door closed and rushed toward her in the tiny space. “What happened, darlin’? I thought you were going to settle all this yesterday.”
“I can’t trust him. I thought I could, but when I heard about that baby and realized how many times he could have told me...that’s not the kind of information you withhold from someone.”
“I don’t think he was trying to deceive you. I don’t know the whole story but, according to Rocky, everything happened pretty fast. It was no secret. Perhaps he was waiting until he had more information—”
“But it’s a baby.” Candi left the chair and snatched the list for the music festival off the top of the cabinet. “That changes everything. He’s a father. He has responsibilities.”
“Well, sure, but it’s not as if that changes how you feel about each other. Are you afraid he doesn’t have room in his heart for a daughter and a love life?”
“No, of course not. I know it’s not a competition.” She flung open the second drawer and started digging through the music. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. We’ve decided not to pursue a personal relationship. He needs to focus on his daughter, and I need to focus on my work. We both have a lot going on.”
Carol Ann’s glance was skeptical. “You know,” she began as she stacked binders in the crook of her arm. “I’v
e been married for a very long time to a man some would say is hard to live with. We had some pretty rough years in the beginning, but that man loves me. And we both had a lot to learn.”
Candi closed the drawer.
“My point is,” Carol Ann continued without slowing down. “There are a lot of bumps in the road in any relationship. Some big, some not so big. The one thing they have in common is most of them can be smoothed out with an honest conversation. It’s amazing how fast real communication can work out the kinks.”
“I hear you Carol Ann and I appreciate it. I do. But I don’t think it’ll make any difference this time. It’s just not meant to be.”
Carol Ann wrapped her arm around Candi’s shoulders. “You know who always says that?”
“Who?”
“The person who’s not willing to have the conversation.” Carol Ann sashayed toward the door. “I’ll keep praying about this. Now let’s get out there before someone comes looking for us.”
As they left the closet, Rocky landed at the top of the ramp and wheeled by.
His grin was laced with curiosity. “What’s going on? Are we holding auditions or something? I saw Shade and Max out in the lobby with a couple of guys who look familiar. Musicians?”
“Yes, but they’re not here to join us. They’re Dead Lizards who dropped in on Shade.”
Rocky spun around and headed back down the ramp. “That’s why they look familiar.”
Carol Ann rolled her eyes. “We’ll never get them back in here.”
As Candi approached her keyboard, Kelly and Kevin came in the side door.
Kelly dropped her things on the floor and tightened her ponytail. “What’s all the excitement out there?”
“Dead Lizards,” Candi answered.
Kevin took off like a shot.
She trained her gaze toward Kelly. “Do you want to go, too? The skinny one in black is kinda cute.”
“I’ll pass,” she said and pulled her guitar out of its case. “What’s on the agenda for tonight?”
“I’ll share the latest on Bill. All good news, by the way, and we need to discuss the music festival which is just week after next. Then we’ll talk about our new practice schedule for the youth service.”
Kelly made a face.
“Yeah, it’s about to get real busy around here.”
All three women stood on the platform together and studied the all-male-rock-and-roll-bonding-ritual that was happening out in the narthex.
“You know they get together almost every week to watch movies and eat pizza,” Kelly offered.
Carol Ann shrugged. “At least they’re not out doing something scandalous.”
“That we know of,” Candi added. “We should start our own night out.”
“I agree, but no pizza,” Kelly said.
“No pizza. Our version would be fine dining, decadent dessert, and possibly an artsy film at the Anjelika.”
“I thought they closed the Anjelika,” Kelly offered.
“Shows how in the loop I am. Guess we’ll head to River Oaks, or find something else.”
“That’ll work,” Carol Ann declared. “In the meantime, do you want me to round them up?”
“In a minute, thanks. Right now I want Kelly to sing.”
Kelly did her best to look shocked.
“Don’t bother. Shade ratted you out.” Candi adjusted the microphone. “Go for it. I’m going to sit out there and listen. Don’t worry about anyone else. Just sing. I have a spot Sunday for a special song.”
Candi found a seat in the dim light near the back. A nervous Kelly took her time as she worked her way through several chords and settled into the rhythm of a soft ballad. Her voice was tender and clear as she sang her own soulful creation about a world of hurting people who each had their own painful story. By the time she got to the chorus, Candi could not hold her tears.
Everybody has a story to tell
And it hurts to share because you know the end so well
When your heart is broke in two
And your friends have done all they can do
Tell Jesus
When your friends have all gone home
And you’re in the dark there all alone
Tell Jesus, tell Jesus, tell Jesus
****
Shade scrolled through his text messages before he got out of the truck at church Sunday morning. One each from Spider Monkey and Tom in Austin, and two from Remy Charbonnet in Louisiana. Everyone wanted to know if he’d considered their proposal. He wanted to know why they were awake and texting at eight in the morning. Then he remembered. They’d never been to bed last night.
The money on the table would put a huge dent in his financial needs, but to what lengths would he have to go to make that money? There was no way he could straddle both worlds without ripping himself apart. He had no time to record a CD and keep up with all the promotional responsibilities of a new release, and he’d already committed himself to a youth service and a worship conference for Cornerstone. He wasn’t ready to give up on that. He caught a glimpse of Candi as she hurried toward the side door of the sanctuary. He wasn’t ready to give up on her, either.
Max and Rocky were already in the hospitality room when he arrived.
Max seemed distressed. “Get over here. You need to see this.”
He set his case along the wall and joined them. “What is it?”
“This,” Rocky said with despair.
Shade scanned the table. No wonder they were upset. “What do you think happened?”
“I say it’s that new couple from California. I was standing here by them last week and they made a comment about how there was nothing here for diabetics and the health conscious.”
Rocky rolled closer and wagged his finger toward the big basket in the center of the table. “And now we have this. Bananas, granola bars, raisins... I can’t do it, Shade. I can’t worship under these circumstances.”
“The doughnuts must be here somewhere,” Shade said. “They can’t cut us off cold turkey.”
Max shook like a Chihuahua. “I can’t go cold turkey, man. There’s not a twelve-step program strong enough to wean me off Sunday morning doughnuts. It’s been my way of life since I could sneak out of the nursery.”
As Kevin approached, his girlish scream magnified their terror. “Kelly said it, but I didn’t believe it.”
A member of the hospitality committee came toward them. “Calm down, boys. There will be pastries, just less of them. We’re trying to be sensitive to everyone’s needs. Some parents—not to mention the Sunday school teachers—don’t think the children need three sprinkle doughnuts first thing in the morning.” She placed two stacks of napkins further down the table. “Should be here any minute.”
They stepped as a group to the other end of the table to wait.
Kevin picked up a Styrofoam cup. “Did you hear the good news?”
“No.”
“Wild Bill’s here. He’s a little tired and all he can do is complain about how many pills he has to take, but he’s good.”
“That’s a relief,” Max said.
Candi walked up to join them. Other than a fleeting glance and polite hello, she had no warm welcome for him. Attempts to talk to her during the week had amounted to nothing more than church talk and stilted comments about the humid weather. Her interest seemed genuine when she’d asked about Rachel, but the discussion never made it beyond courteous chit-chat. It made his chest ache.
She planted her hands on her hips and surveyed the situation. “So the rumors are true. I can’t do this without my Sunday morning chocolate cake glazed doughnut. Max, I’ll buy if you fly. Want to make a quick run?”
“Not necessary, Candi Cane. We’ve been assured the provisions are on the way.”
“Watch it, Maxwell. I’m already on edge due to this unforeseen catastrophe.”
Carol Ann and Kelly rounded out the group.
“Carol Ann has news,” Kelly announced.
“Well,
I think it’s news,” Carol Ann said and placed her pink breast cancer awareness mug under the spigot on the coffee urn. “Bud is coming to second service.”
Kevin’s eyes widened as he took a sip from his own cup. “The mysterious never-before-been-to-church-husband-Bud?”
“That’s the one.”
“Wow,” Rocky said. “We’re entering our third year of prayer for that. Any particular reason for the change of heart?”
“He said he wants to see Shade Blackledge play the guitar.”
Max dropped the box of raisins he’d picked up. “Bud’s a Dead Lizard Highway fan?”
“I guess so. He said he mentioned Shade’s presence here to some guys at work. Next thing you know he had a CD. But here’s the best part,” she said and laughed. “He told them he was going to check it out and would let them know for sure if it was him. If it is, he’s inviting them all to church. And he’s convinced they’ll come.”
“So wait,” Candi said. “Bud—who has never been to this church and has, in the past, shown no interest in furthering his relationship with Christ—is witnessing to his friends at work?”
“Yes. Isn’t that a riot?”
“Only God can do something like that.”
“God and a Dead Lizard,” Kevin added.
Rocky cuffed Shade on the arm. “You better be you, Shade. And you better be spectacular. The salvation of Bud’s co-workers may be at stake.”
“I’ll do my best.” He turned to Carol Ann. “We’ll meet up after service, OK?”
The group scrambled as the pastry boxes arrived. Candi took her breakfast and a napkin and retreated to the safety of the church office.
Shade followed. There was never going to be a good time to share what he knew about her father’s release.
“You were right about Kelly,” she said.
He set his coffee on the counter. “Yeah, she’s pretty talented.”
“The congregation is going to be blown away by her song today.”
He took the chair beside her in the small waiting area. “I know you don’t want to talk to me on personal issues,” he began softly, “but I need to ask you about your father.”