by Leslie Gould
Reuben walked through the kitchen, into the empty living room. His sister had taken most of the furniture when she moved out. Sometime before he and Rose married, he’d need to buy some more.
He headed on up the stairs to the landing and stared out the window overlooking the lumberyard. He’d lived in the house his entire life and worked in his father’s business for as long as he could remember. His father said he would sign the house over when Reuben married, and in time the business would belong solely to him too.
There were three bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs. It wasn’t a big house, but it was large enough. He’d shared a bedroom with his brothers while their sister had one to herself.
Reuben thought four children would be a good amount. No doubt Rose would be a good mother. She was good with Trudy, and she seemed to do well as a mother’s helper.
She wasn’t as serious as Lila, and Reuben appreciated that. He didn’t see any reason to be overly concerned about world events or what happened outside their district. There was little to be done about it anyway. He liked that about Rose, that she didn’t dwell on things that didn’t impact their Plain world the way Lila had. That had been Zane’s influence, Reuben was sure, but also Lila’s disposition.
The truth was, he’d been devastated when Lila broke things off with him. She said it wasn’t because of Zane, but Reuben wasn’t surprised when a few months later they began seeing each other.
Reuben knew Lila and Zane had always been friends, but he never guessed she would choose an Englischer. He was even more surprised that Zane became Amish. He hadn’t expected that at all. Oddly, Reuben’s father seemed to have influenced Zane’s decision.
He sighed and headed down the hall, stopping at what used to be his parents’ room and opening the door. He held the lantern high. Their old bed, with a quilt his mother made, and a bureau were all that was left in the room. He hoped Rose would like it.
He imagined coming home to her, to her laughter, her teasing, and her wide smile. He imagined kissing those lips of hers every day. Several times a day. Just the thought made his heart race.
She was the life of the party at every singing. Sunday he hadn’t wanted to stay and play volleyball because he hated the way the boys watched her. Even the men. He didn’t like the jealousy he felt over it, and he would never tell her how he felt. It wasn’t her fault.
Many outsiders believed Amish women to be quiet and passive. That wasn’t true. Most of the Amish women he knew were quite assertive within the community, making their opinions known, and sharing in the decision making. Rose very much enjoyed interacting with others in their district, but she was friendly with everyone, Amish and Englisch alike. He’d never seen her shy away from anyone.
Lila had insinuated a few times that Rose was lazy, but that was a side Reuben had never seen. She would make a wonderful wife, homemaker, and mother. She had a playfulness to her that he appreciated, that made him smile.
He closed the bedroom door firmly and continued on down the hall. One single bed, a small chest of drawers, a small table, and pegs along the far wall were all that were in his room. He lived a sparse life—that was for certain.
The evening had grown chilly, so Reuben undressed quickly and slid under the quilt on his bed. He picked up a library book on different kinds of wood from his bedside table and began to read. Soon his eyes grew heavy and he put the book down and turned off the lantern.
Jah, it was time for the house to have a woman in it again. As soon as Lila was stable, Reuben would talk with Rose. They didn’t have to wait until Lila and Zane could marry, especially if Lila’s recovery took a while, which it probably would from the sound of her injuries. True, it might be seen as insensitive, but he couldn’t put his life on hold because of Lila again. He needed to take charge and make sure his plan worked out this time. The sooner the better.
5
Rose rubbed her hands together, trying to warm them up in the early-morning chill, as she spoke to Dat. “I need to get breakfast started and wake up Trudy for school.”
“Go ahead,” he said. “I can manage.”
“Trevor would—” He’d given her his cell-phone number the evening before.
Her father shook his head.
“But he’s staying with the Becks. He helped Reuben and me last night. He used to work on a dairy.”
Dat shook his head. “I’ll finish up just fine. You go on ahead.”
Shani had dropped Dat off long after Reuben and Beth had left the night before. Rose had stayed up as late as she could and was just heading to bed when she heard Shani’s van outside. Dat hadn’t said much, just that Lila was on a lot of pain medication and was out of sorts. Rose hoped she could go see her soon.
“I’ll have breakfast ready when you come in,” Rose said.
Dat nodded.
“Then will you go back to the hospital?”
“Jah,” he said. “I have a driver coming soon.”
“What about Shani?” Rose said.
“She has some sort of early meeting at work—she was going to leave about now.”
Rose wrinkled her nose. “I’d like to see Lila sometime too.”
“Jah,” Dat said. “That would be gut.”
Rose wasn’t so sure he would make it a priority for her to get to the hospital. She’d ask Shani, once she was back from her meeting, if she could get a ride with her.
By the time Rose returned from taking Trudy to school, Dat had left. She poured herself another cup of coffee and then tackled washing the frying pans. Once she finished, she decided to walk up the lane and see if Shani had come home.
The morning fog had burned off, and the sunshine was beginning to warm the world. Along the lane, the changing leaves of the maple trees fluttered, and the boughs of the cedar tree swayed in the breeze. Rose quickened her step. She was worried about Lila, but her thoughts went to Reuben. It was like him to put Lila and Zane first. Rose admired his unselfishness, but she couldn’t help but resent it also.
Lila wouldn’t care if Rose and Reuben married first. Rose wished he’d lighten up a little. Play a game of volleyball. Laugh a little more. Touch her more. She longed to have his arms tightly around her—not just around her shoulder like last night. And she longed to have his lips on hers. She sighed. What was taking him so long?
She knew she shouldn’t be thinking about Reuben when Lila was so horribly injured, but she couldn’t help it. Their relationship wasn’t turning out the way she expected. And now, with Lila’s accident, everything would be delayed further.
She stepped around the bend in the lane and the Becks’ house came into view. Shani’s van wasn’t anywhere in sight. Either she wasn’t home yet, or she’d parked it in the shed or by the barn. She continued on. Joel would be at work and Adam at school. Maybe Shani had stayed up at the hospital to see Lila. There weren’t any other cars around, so that meant Trevor had already left for the day. She wasn’t sure what he would be doing though. Maybe he’d gone up to the hospital to be with Zane.
She might as well knock on the door and see if anyone answered. Some of the leaves of the geraniums that filled Shani’s pots on her porch had turned yellow, but the flowers continued to put off big red blooms. Rose hurried up the steps and knocked lightly at first and then a little harder. When no one answered, she turned to go. When she reached the bottom step the door opened.
As she turned back around, Trevor said, “Rose? Is that you?”
He stood barefoot, wearing shorts and an Army T-shirt.
Rose’s face grew warm. “I was looking for Shani.”
“She’s not here.”
“Oh.” Rose felt foolish for coming over. Of course she’d stay at the hospital to be with Lila. “I’ll leave a message on her cell phone,” Rose said. Maybe Shani would take her up to the hospital that evening.
Trevor yawned and stretched his arms.
Rose’s face grew even warmer.
“Do you want a ride up to the hospital?” he asked.
“I was hoping I could catch one with Shani, but I could call a driver.” She wasn’t sure why she said that except to be on her way as soon as possible.
He stepped out onto the porch. “Driver?”
“Jah,” she said. “We hire Englischers to drive us around.”
“Englischers?”
Her face was hot now. She nodded.
He took a step forward. “Like me?”
She nodded again, feeling even more self-conscious. “I need to get going. Thank you.” It unnerved her to be alone with a half-dressed man. She hurried down the last step.
“I can give you a ride,” he said.
“Oh, no. That’s too much,” she responded, catching her foot on a flagstone on the walkway. She tripped a little but caught herself.
“It’s no problem,” Trevor said. “I’m going that way anyway.” He glanced down at his shirt. “I just need to get a shower.”
Surely it wouldn’t hurt to get a ride with him. Hopefully Dat would understand, under the circumstances.
She turned back around. “Could you stop by and pick me up on your way?”
He nodded. “Give me twenty minutes.”
“See you then,” she said. His car must have been in the shed or parked over by the barn or maybe even by the little house. She hurried back down the lane, put away the breakfast dishes that had dried in the rack, left a note for Dat in case their paths didn’t cross, and grabbed her purse.
She had no idea what she’d cook for supper that night, but she’d figure it out. She took her lip balm out of her purse, ran it over her lips, and then headed to the back door, locking it behind her with her key. By the time she reached the driveway, Trevor’s car was coming toward her. She squinted into the morning sun, shading her eyes as she walked toward it.
By the time she met the car, Trevor had stopped and opened the passenger door from the inside. She climbed in and fumbled for the seat belt as he turned the car around. He wore some sort of fragrance, aftershave probably, and his hair was still wet.
His car was a little messy inside. She’d noticed some paper bags in the back seat when she’d turned to fasten her seat belt. And there was a pile of receipts in the cubby under the stereo. She’d expected that a soldier would keep things tidier.
“I’m glad you stopped by,” Trevor said. “I wanted to get up to the hospital today too.”
“Thank you,” she said as he turned sharply onto the lane. “I appreciate the ride.”
“No problem,” he answered, shifting gears as he did. She pulled her legs to the side, close to her door, away from his hand. The interior of the car was all black except for the panel of instruments. It looked pretty fancy. So did the radio.
“Poor Zane. Must be a bummer to be planning to get married in a month and then have this happen.” Trevor frowned. “I think that sounded wrong. Poor Lila. She’s the one going through all the pain.”
Rose smiled a little. “I know what you mean. Besides, Zane is your friend—of course you’d be sympathetic toward him.”
Trevor smiled again. “Thanks,” he said. “For giving me a pass.”
She didn’t respond. What he’d said hadn’t been that big of a deal. He seemed to be a thoughtful person.
Once they were on the highway, he shifted again and the vehicle practically flew. A field of sunflowers zoomed by in a yellow blur. She leaned back against the seat, sure Trevor was speeding.
She steadied her voice. “You must have grown up in a small town to have worked in a dairy.”
“That’s right. We don’t have any Amish though.” He flashed her a grin.
Rose smiled back instead of saying that there were Amish in Delaware. She couldn’t remember exactly where though. “Did you join the Army right out of school?”
“No,” he answered. “I took classes at the local community college, although I didn’t do very well.” He chuckled. “And worked in the dairy. Then I joined the Army.”
“So you were in Afghanistan with Zane?”
Trevor nodded and said, “Yep.” There was no hint of the emotions he had displayed on Sunday, but still she gathered he had deep feelings about the topic. She couldn’t help but feel concerned for him.
Ahead was a buggy with the morning sun reflecting off the orange triangle on the back. At first she wondered if Trevor was going to slow down, but then he did.
“I can’t get over how beautiful the horses around here are,” he said. “And I really like the sound of the hooves on the pavement.” Trevor shifted again and then glanced toward her. “I like it here.”
Rose wasn’t sure how to respond. She’d never been anywhere besides Lancaster County. Not even to Maryland or Ohio, like some of her friends had. Not even to the next county, truth be told.
The highway turned into four lanes and Trevor accelerated. Rose sank back against the seat, feeling like a child. She really hadn’t done much of anything in her life. Courting Reuben was the most exciting thing that had happened, and truth be doubly told, it hadn’t been all that exciting. At least not yet. And the way things were progressing, it wasn’t going to be for a while.
When they reached the outskirts of Lancaster, Trevor shifted down again. This time Rose didn’t move her legs and his hand bumped against her knee. Instead of apologizing, he smiled at her.
She smiled back and then kept her eyes straight ahead. She’d only been into town a few times. She loved watching the big brick houses with their expansive lawns on the outside of town. Soon the large houses gave way to rows of houses with just a sidewalk out front. A few older people were shuffling along, and several stood outside a small store. The neighborhood, so close to home but so different than anything she knew, fascinated her.
“How much older are you than Lila?” Trevor stopped at a traffic light.
“Pardon?” Rose asked.
“Your little sister. How old is she?”
Her face grew warm again. “I’m younger than Lila.”
“Oh, really,” Trevor said. “I thought you were the older sister. So how young are you?” he teased.
She squared her shoulders. “Eighteen.”
“Which makes Lila how old?”
“Twenty-two.”
“So a year younger than Zane?”
Rose nodded. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-three also.”
Three years younger than Reuben. Five years older than she was.
The light turned green, and Trevor turned right. A few minutes later they passed the main entrance of the hospital and then turned into a parking garage. All these years Rose had imagined the hospital—the one where her mother had died. Where Simon had gone when he was kicked in the head by the horse. Where Shani worked.
She opened the door and climbed out.
“Which way do we go?”
“I’m not sure,” Rose said. “I’ve never been here.”
“Really?” Before she could answer, Trevor said, “Well, that’s not a bad thing, right? It means you and your family haven’t had to come here.”
She shook her head. “Others have.”
“Like who?” he asked, leading the way around to the entrance.
“My mother.”
“Oh,” he said, seeming a little confused. “I didn’t see her yesterday, right?”
Rose shook her head. “She passed away a little over eleven years ago.”
Trevor stopped and turned toward her, looking down. “I’m sorry.”
She blinked. “It was a long time ago. It’s fine.”
The double doors opened and Trevor stepped aside, letting Rose pass through first. He took the lead though and headed toward the lobby desk. Rose stayed back, feeling self-conscious about being with an Englisch man.
The woman at the desk said something and then pointed toward a hallway. Trevor thanked her and then said to Rose, “Lila’s in critical care. Let’s go up to the waiting room and see if we can find Zane.”
She followed him to the elevator as several other people
stepped onto it. An Englisch man. A doctor, she thought. And a woman wearing a skirt and jacket. Trevor motioned for Rose to go first and she found a spot on the side. No one spoke as the elevator ascended. Rose held onto the railing on the side, until she noticed no one else was. She let go and leaned against the wall.
When the elevator stopped, Trevor nodded toward the door and she followed him into a hallway. He paused for a moment and then pointed to the right. Zane wasn’t in the waiting room. “Stay here,” Trevor said. “I’ll ask someone to find him.”
Rose sank down onto a sofa, grateful Trevor was with her. She picked up a magazine with a group of children on the front and leafed through it as she waited. The articles were about activities to do with kids in the Lancaster area. Museums and petting zoos. The train out in Strasburg, near their farm. A pumpkin patch to go to. She put the magazine down as Trevor approached.
“He’ll be right out.” Trevor sat down beside her.
Wanting to make conversation, she asked, “What was it like serving in Afghanistan with Zane?”
Trevor leaned forward, his hands on his knees. “It’s not like I hung out with him that much or even really noticed him at first, but he was always a good guy. Really decent. Then he got shot, which was scary. Of course I noticed him a little more when he came back.” He turned his head toward Rose and smiled a little. “I was driving the MRAPs by then, and he probably saved my life.” Trevor’s gaze shifted to the windows, where sunlight streamed through. “I got a Purple Heart—Zane got his earlier, when he was almost killed.”
Rose didn’t know what a Purple Heart was, but it sounded important and she guessed it was some sort of Army award. She’d never heard Zane mention it.
“Out of all of us—besides Casey, who’s still in the Army . . .”
Rose nodded.
“That’s right. She’s dating one of your brothers, correct?”
Rose nodded again.
“Anyway,” Trevor said, “my point is that Zane’s doing better than most of us. Grant got out and moved to Michigan, but he’s not doing too hot. His wife is a saint. She pretty much does everything as far as their two kids. Wade is still in the Army and in Texas but seems kind of messed up. Parties a lot. Can’t seem to commit to one girl. Most of the other guys who got out haven’t found decent jobs yet.”