by Leslie Gould
She reached the gate and put the cane back down. She’d be able to walk into the service without it, but she wasn’t sure that she should.
Last night she’d managed to walk upstairs in the little house without her cane. Zane had taken her over, and carried her crazy quilt while she cautiously climbed the stairs. Once she made it to their room, she’d folded up her Mamm’s quilt and then spread the crazy quilt she’d finished the year before over the bed. It was more appropriate for all that they’d been through. And scraps of blues and greens and purples brought life to the room in a way the traditional pattern didn’t. Her Mamm would be pleased, Lila was sure. Besides, she had better plans for the shadow quilt.
She didn’t open the door to the Bobbli’s room when they left their own room. Instead she’d stood in front of it, frozen.
“I didn’t take out the furniture,” Zane said. “I’m not willing to give up on that yet. I don’t think you should either.” Always the optimist—jah, that was the man she was marrying.
“I won’t,” she said. “I’ll do my best to trust God with . . .” She’d turned toward him. “This room.” They both smiled, just a little, as she took the stairs down one at a time, and Zane carried her mother’s quilt.
He’d start volunteering again at the fire station in another month. They’d be back where they’d expected to be before the accident, at least mostly.
“Lila?”
She turned to find Casey coming toward her. She wore jeans and an Army T-shirt. She and Simon had spent the night at Shani and Joel’s but had come over to help with the preparations. “Breakfast is ready.”
“Thank you.” The house was already full, and it was still hours until the wedding would start.
“I’ll go tell the men,” Casey said, heading toward the barn. Her stride was long and confident, her head high and her back straight. Lila started toward the house, but as she reached the back stairs, Simon came running up behind her.
“Hey, sis,” he said. “Today’s your big day.”
“Jah,” she answered, turning toward him. “You robbed us of sharing yours.”
“Would you have come to Hawaii?” he teased.
“I’ve always wanted to go there,” she answered. “But you would have needed to tell us ahead of time.”
“That’s true,” he said. They both knew there wasn’t any way any of them could have gone. It had been better not to know ahead of time.
He ducked, grabbed her, and lifted her off her feet and onto his shoulder.
She slapped his back with her free hand. “Put me down. You’ll hurt me.”
He laughed and said, “You’re not as fragile as you think. Everyone’s been too easy on you.”
Lila hit him again, but she was glad he seemed so carefree. He’d been a sniper in Iraq, on the Syrian border, and she feared it would weigh heavy on him. But it didn’t seem to. Strangely, the boy who had been raised Amish seemed not to have been affected by war, at least not badly. Time would tell.
He bounced up the stairs with her and through the mud porch into the kitchen, putting her down in the middle of the room.
Rose had the Bobbli in her arms and shot Simon a frown. “No horseplay,” she said.
He flicked her on the arm and teased, “Aren’t you the serious one now?”
“Or the responsible one,” she said and then laughed, holding the Bobbli with one hand and flicking him back with the spit rag that had been draped over her shoulder.
As Simon headed to the bathroom to wash his hands, Lila sat down at the table, a little out of breath. She’d need to put her wedding dress on soon, while the men put the benches out. Or maybe they were doing that now. She stood and stepped to the window. Sure enough, Zane, Dat, and Joel were unloading the church wagon.
And Reuben.
Rose stepped to her side. “Why is he here so early?”
“I don’t know,” Lila said. But she was grateful.
“Rose, can you make the coffee?” Beth called out. “We need another pot.”
“Sure,” Rose said, glancing around, probably looking for Trudy. But then, through the window, she saw her little sister and Adam run by, headed for the chicken coop.
“I’ll take her,” Lila said, propping her cane against the wall.
“All right.” Rose slid the Bobbli into her arms as Lila shifted her weight to her right leg.
Abrie cooed and reached up toward Lila’s face. Lila lifted the Bobbli higher and rubbed her face against Abrie’s cheek. Rose hadn’t said another word about Trevor, and as far as she knew he hadn’t called. She knew he hadn’t visited.
She was surprised at the extent of Rose’s anger when she found the pill bottles. In the past she was sure Rose would have justified his behavior in some way, but there wasn’t even a hint of that. It seemed pretty foolish of Trevor to leave them there, but she could see how he might have overlooked them.
Zane was afraid he was getting pills from other places. Lila couldn’t begin to guess how it would all turn out. Rose certainly seemed upset with him, enough not to ever trust him again, but Lila knew her sister could be irrational. At least she used to be. The truth was, Rose had changed.
Zane turned toward the house, and Lila stepped up to the window and waved, lifting the Bobbli up again.
He waved back and then pointed toward her. Reuben turned toward the house too and shielded his eyes. A minute later, as Zane and Tim put the last of the benches in place, Reuben started toward the house. By the time he washed his hands, Zane and Tim had come in too. Zane stood by her for a minute, sweet-talking Abrie, who blew a couple of bubbles. She was on the verge of smiling.
“Would you call Trudy and Adam in?” Lila asked Zane. “Breakfast is ready.”
As Lila waited for him to return, the Bobbli began to fuss. Rose was placing an egg casserole on the table as part of the buffet. “I’ll take her in just a second,” she said.
Lila didn’t dare walk with the Bobbli. She was afraid her legs might buckle.
Reuben stepped to her side. “Mind if I take a turn?”
Relieved, Lila passed the Bobbli to him as Dat cleared his throat and then boomed, “Everyone gather around.”
Zane stepped back into the house and to Lila’s side. Across the room stood Shani and Joel, hand in hand, with Zane’s grandfather next to them. Trudy and Adam stood in front, and Casey and Simon stood on the other side. Lila’s grandparents stood in the archway to the living room, and Eve and Charlie, with Jackson, stood behind them. Rose stepped around the table, stopping beside Reuben, but she didn’t take the Bobbli away from him. Everyone Lila loved most was in the room—except for Daniel, Jenny, and Brook. They should have arrived by now. She hoped Daniel wasn’t angry with her for inviting Butch Jr. She’d tried to talk with him about it at church on Sunday, but he shook his head and walked away.
As everyone quieted down, Beth stepped to Dat’s side. He cleared his throat again. “I’m very grateful for everyone in this room,” he said. “For all of our family. For our neighbors.” He nodded toward Joel and Shani. “For Zane.” He smiled. “All those years ago I never would have guessed that cocky neighbor kid would become Amish—and now my son-in-law.” Everyone laughed. “I guess we all know that none of us can predict what God will do in our lives.” He paused for a moment, and Lila wondered if he’d choked up, but then he said, “And for that I’m grateful.” He bowed his head. “Let’s pray.”
A minute later, after Dat said, “Amen,” Beth began directing everyone through the buffet line. “Lila and Zane, you two go through first. There are chairs in the living room to sit on or tables in the basement. Everyone dish up quickly, because we still have a lot of work to do before our guests arrive.”
Zane grabbed two plates and whispered to Lila, “Go find a place to sit in the living room. I’ll be right there.”
She complied, stopping at the window to look for Daniel and Jenny, but they were nowhere in sight.
By the time her brother and sister-in-law finally arri
ved, Lila was in her room putting on the new purple dress she had finished the week before. Jenny stepped in for a minute and said Brook had been up most of the night teething. “I told Daniel to come ahead without me,” she said, “but he wanted to wait.”
“Of course,” Lila said, not wanting to ask Jenny how Daniel was doing. Or what he was thinking. He was here—that was what mattered.
Lila and Zane joined the congregation to praise God by singing “Das Loblied” at the beginning of the service, and then retreated back to the house for special instructions from Gideon. Zane looked so handsome in his straight-cut suit, holding his black hat in his hands.
The potato cooks laughed in the kitchen as they finished the peeling. They’d put the potatoes on to boil near the end of the service and then mash them for the dinner. The meatballs warmed in the basement ovens.
Zane and Lila sat down beside each other on the sofa in the living room and held hands. When Gideon came into the room, Lila pulled her hand away. Gideon asked how they were both feeling.
“Great!” Zane said, reaching for Lila’s hand again.
“Gut,” she answered, aware that she couldn’t match Zane’s excitement. That didn’t matter. She was excited in her own way.
Gideon spoke to them about marriage, but Lila didn’t listen very well. She’d ask Zane later what he said. Something about not letting the sun go down on their anger and being willing to show the other grace.
“Ready to go?” Gideon finally asked.
Zane and Lila both nodded, and after Lila stood, placing her cane on the linoleum, Zane reached for her other hand. They followed Gideon out the front door, down the steps, and around the house.
The singing of the congregation sounded as if a choir of angels had descended on the farm. In many ways, one had. Everyone gathered would support Zane and Lila, want the best for them, and pray for them.
Rose held Abrie and sat in the last row on the women’s side with Butch Jr.’s mother beside her. Across the aisle, on the last row of the men’s side, sat Butch Jr. with Reuben beside him. Lila’s heart filled with gratitude for Rose and Reuben’s hospitality. When they passed Daniel, sitting beside Simon and Dat, she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d met Butch. There was no way Daniel could miss recognizing their half brother if he saw him.
Zane took his place and Lila hers on benches facing each other at the front and settled in for the Scripture reading. It was 1 Corinthians 13, in English, in a translation she wasn’t familiar with. Zane must have specifically asked Gideon to read it.
Zane had truly been patient with her. And kind. And gentle. She hoped she could love him in the same way, despite her brokenness. But perhaps Simon was right. Perhaps she wasn’t as fragile as she’d let herself believe these last many months.
Gideon began the sermon. Lila was sure it would be long—and it was. It nearly lulled her to sleep as the morning grew warmer. Finally, Gideon said, “That’s why we serve each other. Because Christ served us. And there’s no relationship in life where we have the opportunity to serve another person as much as we do in marriage. No other relationship lasts, in a daily manner, as a marriage does. You care for a child for a short time. And you will care for your parents in their old age. But, God willing, Zane and Lila, you will care for each other for fifty or sixty years or more. Love each other. Cherish each other. Be honest with each other. Seek out each other’s souls. Seek out each other’s hearts. Build your relationship between who the two of you are on the inside. Love each other as you love yourselves. That’s what counts.”
Gideon smiled kindly. “Zane Beck. Lila Lehman.” His eyes brightened even more. “I’ve known you both since you were children. I’m as pleased as I’ve ever been to marry a couple. Please come forward.”
Lila left her cane propped against her bench, stood, and made her way to the front, stopping beside Zane. Gideon led them in their vows and then joined their hands together, pronouncing them man and wife.
Zane looked into Lila’s eyes and squeezed her hand. She leaned against him. He kissed the top of her Kapp, in a show of affection uncommon for Amish men and definitely uncommon in Plain weddings. She didn’t care. There were some things he’d never understand. And it didn’t matter.
By the time they made their way up the aisle to the last bench, Monika was directing the men to set up the tables. An army of helpers soon transformed the space into a dining area.
As she and Zane mingled through the crowd, Lila greeted Connie and Butch Jr. and thanked them for coming. “Have you met Daniel?” she asked.
Butch shook his head.
Lila looked around for her brother. He stood beside Jenny next to the fence with a fussy Brook. She waved at him and motioned him over. She could tell, as he walked toward her, he wasn’t happy about it. She hoped Butch couldn’t guess at how Daniel was feeling.
When Daniel reached them, she introduced Butch Jr. “Hello,” Daniel said. “I’m pleased to meet you.” Then he nudged Butch’s shoulder. “I figured it was you.”
Butch nodded. “Yeah, I figured the same about you.”
Daniel motioned to Jenny, and she joined them. Connie reached for the Bobbli. “May I hold her?”
“Jah, please,” Jenny said. The circles under her eyes had grown even darker.
“Your family certainly is blessed with children,” Connie said.
Lila swallowed hard at her words, reminding herself to trust. “Jah,” she said. “God has been good to my family.” And he was good to her and Zane too, regardless of what the future held. Through her hardships, she had finally come to trust him more.
Soon the corner table was set up and covered with a tablecloth, and Zane and Lila took their places. The table directly in front of them was for their two families, with Dat at one end and Joel at the other. Tears filled Lila’s eyes. Zane, right beside her, was her person. And now everyone she cared about most, her people—including those who were missing at breakfast—were all right in front of them. Her parents. Her siblings. Her sisters-in-law. Her nieces. Her grandparents and Eve and Charlie. Butch and Connie were seated in the middle of the table. Rose stood off to the side in her new blue dress, in front of the pie table—heaped with pastries she had made for the occasion.
As Lila surveyed them all, she even had a sweet sense of her Mamm’s presence. She still missed her sometimes, but life and love had continued, and Lila was thankful.
Monika must have had everything under control, because as the cooks marched out with the food, she took the Bobbli from Rose, cradling her against her bosom as she swooped her away.
Dat motioned to Reuben and directed him to the family table. On his way, he paused beside Rose, and for a moment, Lila saw the old playfulness in her sister as she gazed up at Reuben, a hint of a smile on her face.
Lila nudged Zane as Rose and Reuben stepped toward the table and then sat down.
“Do you think we can believe what we see?” Zane whispered.
“I hope so,” Lila answered. Nothing would make her happier on her wedding day than to know that Rose and Reuben were getting back together. Then again, maybe it was just Dat trying his hand at matchmaking. Perhaps Rose and Reuben felt nothing for each other.
Once everyone was seated, Dat stood and led the entire congregation in a silent prayer.
Thank you, Lord, Lila prayed, as Zane wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. For your blessings. For your miracles. May we see them each day.
28
Rose sat on her bed, propped against the headboard nursing Abrie, when Lila came in.
“We’re getting ready to leave,” she said. “We’ll be back first thing in the morning.” Usually a bride and groom spent their first night at the bride’s house so they’d be available to clean up the next day, but there was no need for that when Lila and Zane’s home was just across the field. There wasn’t a lot Lila could do to clean, but Zane would be a big help.
“You must be exhausted,” Rose answered.
Lila nodded. “So must
you.”
Rose stifled a yawn and then smiled. “I am.”
“Most everyone has left. Monika and Gideon are still here, having a last cup of coffee. So are Shani and Joel.”
“What about Reuben?” Rose asked. He’d been playing horseshoes when she came into the house.
“Why do you ask?” Lila teased.
Rose shrugged but smiled. “I thought I’d corral him into walking Abrie if she’s fussy. He has a knack for calming her.”
“He does seem to have the touch.” Lila sat down on the bed and scooted up against the headboard. She touched Abrie’s dark hair. “I’m going to miss you two.”
“You won’t be more than a quarter mile away.”
“I know,” Lila said. “But it won’t be the same. These last couple of months have been . . . the best ever.”
Rose felt the same way and nodded. “I guess we’ve both changed quite a bit, jah?”
“Jah,” Lila answered. “Hard times make us stronger.”
“And kinder,” Rose added, leaning her head against her big sister’s shoulder.
“And more understanding.” Lila patted Rose’s arm and then scooted off the bed. “Come visit us.”
“Oh, we will,” Rose said. And then joked, “Especially during her fussy times.”
Zane had already taken most of Lila’s things over to their little house, but she had one more bag. Instead of picking it up though, she bent down and pulled her Mamm’s quilt out from under her bed. She turned to Rose. “This is for you.”
“Lila! That’s yours.”
She shook her head. “I want you to have it. We put the crazy quilt I made on our bed last night. Mamm would want you—and Abrie—to have it.” Lila’s eyes nearly brimmed over with tears as she unfolded the quilt and placed it beside Rose.
“I can’t,” Rose said.
Lila laughed. “You don’t have a choice.” Rose knew Eve had given the quilt to Shani, who gave it back to Eve, who gave it to Lila.