Their gazes locked. The questions he read in her eyes made him look away.
“I’d prefer handling the party without your interference. I’m sure once you have had time to think about it, you’ll be relieved to have the responsibility off your hands.”
He stiffened. She was getting back at him for leaving without an explanation. As if he’d had time to do more than scribble a note to his patients and grab a change of clothes.
Who was he kidding? In the weeks since Jillian’s death, he could’ve contacted Elise, sent a telegram or letter. Some things were too horrible to talk about. Even with her.
With a shaky hand, he plowed through the hank of hair falling across his forehead. If he explained how he had failed his sister, Elise would be grieved for him, for his family. With her compassionate nature, she’d insist on comforting him. How could he stay away from her then?
Rosebud lips in a determined line, Katie jerked her entire body and parted the flower from the stem, then tossed the bloom to the floor. With a squeal, she shoved both hands into the bouquet. As the stems swayed, she clapped dimpled hands.
David retrieved the flower. When had Katie learned that trick? Gone three weeks and he’d missed so much. “Looks like you could use help.” He dropped the bloom on the table. “We can work on the party together.”
Elise turned to him, her dark eyes as unyielding as granite, cutting through the numbness inside, awakening his resolve. “You’re stuck with me,” he said.
Mother and daughter faced him. Auburn hair, pert noses, much alike, both beautiful. “I suppose I have no choice.” Elise’s words as sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel.
A lump wedged in his throat. As much as her poor opinion of him hurt, her anger made stepping away possible. She saw his absence as abandonment when he had wanted only to protect her. His silence now added to the wound. In time, her pain would fade, leaving no more than a faint scar, a reminder to avoid the David Wellmans of this world.
“I’m glad that’s settled.” Unable to remain in her presence another minute without gathering her into his arms, he glanced at the door, then back to her. “I need to…to get organized.”
Elise flinched as if he’d slapped her. “Fine, I’ll be here Monday after work, if you’re still determined to help.”
With a nod, he strode out of the room, feeling her eyes on his back, eyes no doubt shooting darts.
In his entire life, he’d never felt more like a snake. A snake Elise would no doubt like to skin.
Chapter Two
The murmur of voices and the bang of a closing door traveled the upstairs hall of Callie’s Victorian house. Evidence that the unwed mothers Callie sheltered and nurtured were moving about, handling chores on a Saturday afternoon. Callie had appropriately named her ministry Refuge of Redeeming Love, exactly what she and the house had been for Elise.
Eager to see Callie’s wedding gown, Elise, Katie and Mildred Uland, Callie’s elderly friend and neighbor, trailed Callie into her bedroom.
Baby Ronnie cooed a greeting from his crib. “Ah, my little man’s awake,” Callie said.
The room, the entire house, had been dilapidated until Jake had arrived in town. In the process of making the house safe for Callie and the unwed mothers in residence, Jake won the expectant widow’s heart.
Every sound, every sight, the very air she breathed reminded Elise that she had once resided here. She’d never tell Katie that when Elise had needed him most, Mark Langley had renounced his unwed pregnant daughter, insisting she give up her baby. With that ultimatum, Elise refused to stay under his roof. She’d always be grateful Callie had taken her in.
Callie had done the same for Grace, for Joanna, for other young women since, who had found themselves alone, unmarried and pregnant. At first, Callie had faced town opposition to the home, but in the end, had won over her biggest critics.
The night of Katie’s birth, Elise and her father had made peace. A few weeks later, she and Katie had moved home with her parents. Still, months of Papa’s aloofness had hurt.
With a glance at her baby girl, Elise’s heart lost its rhythm. What would Katie think of Elise one day, when she was old enough to realize the circumstances of her birth? Old enough to realize her father had not claimed her? Old enough to realize Elise had not lived the faith she had professed? Tears stung her eyes. Katie’s parents weren’t good enough, didn’t deserve her.
Lord, protect Katie. Always.
With a shriek, Katie lurched to all fours and crawled toward the crib where Ronnie babbled, pulling his toes to his mouth. Katie grabbed a slat, rose to her knees, and then pulled herself to her feet. “Ba-ba.”
A tender expression softened Mildred’s face. “Katie and Ronnie may marry one day.”
Elise’s breath caught. Sweet Ronnie wouldn’t hurt anyone, but boys grew up, became men.
Callie opened the wardrobe and brought out her wedding gown, holding the white silk against her. The dress was trimmed in lace with a flounced skirt that glowed, almost as much as Callie.
The sight thudded inside Elise with the force of a slab of Indiana limestone. For a while she’d expected a gown, a wedding day, a ring on her finger. That was not to be.
She’d share in Callie’s joy and never admit the sting of all she’d hoped for and lost. “Your gown’s magnificent. You’ll be a beautiful bride!”
“Thanks to Mildred, who insisted on buying the fabric, far nicer than anything I could afford.”
White hair haloing her head, Mildred drew Callie close. “Callie’s like family. I can’t sleep nights I’m so excited about this wedding.”
Callie giggled. “That makes two of us.”
Even with her dark hair knotted in a simple bun, the skirt and blouse she wore unadorned, Callie was beautiful, radiating joy, her aquamarine eyes dazzling.
“Jake is a wonderful man.” Elise gave her friend a hug. “You’ll have a happy life.”
Callie hung her dress in the towering wardrobe. “You will too, one day. I’m sure of it.”
With a plop, Katie dropped to the floor then made a beeline toward the open door and the stairway beyond. Elise plucked her daughter from potential harm. “Maybe. We’ll see.”
“God will bless you, Elise, as He did me.” Callie scooped her son from the crib. Dark hair and aquamarine eyes, the image of his mother, Ronnie’s grin revealed two tiny white teeth.
As the five of them headed downstairs, holding on to the banister, solid and smooth thanks to Jake’s carpentry skills, the front door swung open and Jake strode inside.
He was a kind, hardworking, dependable man—qualities Elise had once believed David shared. How wrong she’d been. David and Gaston were made from the same loose-woven cloth.
The corners of Jake’s green eyes crinkled with a smile. “You’re a sight to behold. Three beautiful ladies and the cutest babies God ever made.”
With a shriek, Ronnie reached for Jake. Katie did the same. Soon both children perched on his forearms, pure contentment on their faces as they leaned against him.
Jake kissed the top of each of their heads. “Soon, I’ll marry the woman of my dreams and be Ronnie’s daddy. Add a houseful of women and we’ll have a large family. What I’ve always wanted.”
Moist eyes filled with love, Callie gazed at her future husband. “When you showed up at my door asking for work, I was leery, but you were God-sent.”
“Leery?” Jake chuckled. “You were downright suspicious.”
Callie plucked Elise’s sleeve. “Keep that in mind. Not everything is as it first appears.”
Not that Elise accepted Callie’s claim, but she gave a nod that she’d heard then took Katie from Jake.
The hall clock bonged the hour. “I’ve got to go,” Mildred said. “I’m meeting Flossie at the café.”
/> After seeing Mildred out the door, Jake turned to Elise. “Any sign of my absentee groomsman?”
Elise’s belly flopped. Why couldn’t she stop reacting to the mere mention of the man? “I saw him this morning.”
Jake grinned. “I’m relieved he’s back. I don’t understand why he left town but I’m sure he had good reason.”
If he did, wouldn’t David have explained?
Apparently the commitment to Jake had prompted his return. Not the unspoken commitment she’d thought he’d made to her. An ache bloomed inside Elise, pressing against her lungs until she could barely breathe. Who knew where she stood with the man?
“Still, I’m concerned.” Jake’s brow furrowed. “How did he look?”
An image rose in Elise’s mind of pale skin, bleak eyes, a man wrung out like a used-up dishrag. “He looked…weary.”
Jake turned to Callie. “I knew he wouldn’t let us down. Still, I can’t help wondering if something’s wrong.”
David had let Elise down, his patients too, but she wouldn’t say as much and trample on Callie and Jake’s happiness.
“I know! I’ll have a welcome home dinner for David.” Callie smiled at Elise. “One last chance to get together before the wedding.”
Elise frowned. “Aren’t you too busy to host a dinner party?”
“It’ll be fun! Bring Katie. Monday at six. Our residents can eat earlier.”
With a hug and quick goodbye, Elise stepped outside. As she tucked her daughter into the wicker pram, Elise sighed. Jake had planted a seed of concern about David’s well-being. He hadn’t looked well. Had he been ill? No, he’d have explained if an illness had kept him away. Whatever had demanded his attention for three weeks, he was not sharing the reason with her.
She’d believed they were friends. Far more than friends, yet a friend wouldn’t be closemouthed about a prolonged absence. As much as she longed to demand an explanation, to ask would make her appear needy, even desperate.
David Wellman kept secrets and couldn’t be trusted.
Normally she loved spending time with Callie and Jake, but she dreaded the dinner party. How could she pretend everything was fine when David had turned her world upside down?
* * *
David’s world had turned upside down. He couldn’t seem to find footing, yet Sunday dawned warm and sunny, prettier than yesterday. As if nature proclaimed God was in His heavens and all was right with the world.
To David, God felt far away, as if He were indifferent to the happenings here on earth. Immediately repentant for blaming God when David knew he was the problem, he forced himself out of bed and trudged to the kitchen, ignoring the rumpled clothes on the floor. The reminder of the walk he’d taken in the wee hours.
Without a destination, he’d wound up on Serenity Avenue, stopping beneath Elise’s window. Her room had been dark. Quiet. As he stood staring up at that window, he fingered the tiny gold band he carried in his pocket.
He’d recaptured the moment he’d fallen in love with Elise. She’d been trying to convince him not to court her, listing all the crazy reasons she believed made her unfit to be a doctor’s wife. He’d looked into her beguiling, tear-filled eyes and seen a woman with regrets, yes, but a woman who thought of others, a woman who didn’t grasp how much she gave of herself, a woman who had no idea of her worth. He’d fallen hard.
The next day he’d bought the ring, planning to ask her to marry him at Callie and Jake’s reception.
On the walk home his hand had fisted around the ring, clutching it so tightly, the metal had cut into his palm. He’d never propose. He’d never give her that ring. He cared about her, valued her, but no longer had the capacity to love in him.
As he lit the stove and heated water for coffee, he glanced at the clock. By now, Elise had fed Katie, had seen to the child’s needs and was probably tugging a dress over the squirming tot’s head. All the while believing David didn’t care.
About to dump ground coffee in the pot, David’s hand slowed. Didn’t he believe the same about God? That God didn’t care? The similarity wasn’t lost on him.
Lord, the gift of Your Son confirms the depth of Your love, but… Why didn’t You save my sister and her baby—even from me?
Perhaps if he kept praying, kept going to church, kept behaving like a man of faith, he’d somehow unearth the trust in God he’d lost.
After downing two cups of strong coffee, he found the energy to shave. Unable to endure the haunted face looking back at him in the mirror, he averted his gaze, focusing on the blade as he swiped the razor along his jaw and chin, removing the stubble of another sleepless night.
Dressed, he clutched his Bible and took the short walk to Peaceful First Christian Church. Patients and friends headed his way. To avoid the inevitable questions, the welcome back greetings, he ducked into the sanctuary and sat in the back pew, head bowed, eyes closed, his bearing keeping folks away as effectively as a barbed-wire fence.
With his thoughts scattered like dandelion fluff in the wind, he struggled to give God his burdens, but his mind refused to work. Yet, he somehow knew the moment Elise and Katie entered the church. He heard Katie’s babbling and Elise’s soft shushes as they settled in a pew a few rows up.
Moments later the service began. David rose for prayer, for hymns, sat when told. Yet had no idea what Pastor Steele said.
Instead his mind sped to another service. To the cloying scent of roses. To whispered condolences. To his brother-in-law’s silent weeping.
Swallowing hard against the bile shoving up his throat, David clenched his trembling hands into fists. He had to get out of here before he broke down and bawled like a baby.
Eyes averted, he slipped out and slogged home, leaving Elise with the responsibility of spreading the word about the reception. Cutting yet another notch in the belt of misdeeds she should hold against him. He couldn’t stop hurting her. He couldn’t get a grip on his life. He couldn’t move ahead.
Lord, I’m tired.
Inside his room, drapes drawn against the sunshine, he collapsed onto his bed but didn’t sleep. Not with the image of Jillian’s face in repose, cradling her baby, forever burned into his mind. Tears slid under his eyelids and down his face.
How often had he encouraged patients to see the bright side? To hang on to their faith during illness and tough times? To give healing, to give their problems, time? If he ever practiced medicine again, he’d be slower to hand out advice and faster to offer a shoulder to cry on.
For now, he’d put off any decisions about the future, and leave the practice in his partner Jeremiah’s hands. He’d prepare for the reception. And stay out of the dark place that filled his nights and lingered in his days.
Chapter Three
Face composed, manners impeccable as always, Lenora Lucas entered the office. Blonde, beautiful and wearing a chic pink walking suit complementing her fair skin. With nary a hair out of place beneath her hat or a misspoken word out of her mouth, Lenora oozed respectability, a proper wife for Dr. Lucas.
While Elise couldn’t manage her unruly rusty curls, too frequently spoke and acted impulsively. Months of pregnancy and a baby with the tendency to spit up had eroded Elise’s attempt at stylishness.
“Good afternoon, Miss Langley,” Mrs. Lucas said, voice soft, cultured. “Is my husband available?”
“He’s with a patient, Mrs. Lucas.”
“Please, call me Lenora.” She smiled. “This will give us an opportunity to get acquainted. Have you lived in Peaceful long?”
“All my life.”
“I spent summers in the area. Unfortunately, my husband assumes I’m familiar with outlying roads and patients’ residences, vital information when making house calls. But I haven’t been back in years.”
“I�
�d be glad to show Dr. Lucas where his patients live.”
A flash of disquiet traveled Lenora’s face. Heat climbed Elise’s neck, flooding into her cheeks. No doubt Lenora saw a single woman with a child out of wedlock as a threat to her marriage.
“That’s kind of you to offer. We plan to do that very thing this afternoon, a lovely day for a drive in the country.” She tapped a gloved finger to her lower lip. “My husband tells me you’re planning a party for the Mitchells.”
“Yes. I have no idea how to make that cavernous room in Twite Hall festive.”
“I’d be happy to help.”
“Would you? I’ll be there Tuesday evening around six o’clock, if you’d like to stop by and offer suggestions.”
“Sounds like fun.” Lenora took a seat, thumbing through a copy of Godey’s.
Elise tucked a wayward tendril of hair behind her ear, regretting that her impulsive nature defeated good manners or like now, put others on guard.
Most folks knew her intentions were good. But one error couldn’t be excused. Elise was tainted. Sullied by sin. She wouldn’t whitewash her past. Not that she could. Everyone in town knew. An upstanding doctor like David deserved a wife free of reproach. Like Lenora, pure, genteel, a respected helpmate.
Not that Elise’s past mattered now. Since David’s return, he’d made his lack of interest clear. She had no idea what had triggered the change in him, but David was far better off without her.
If only his rejection didn’t hurt this much.
Bald-headed nine-month-old Tommy nestled in her arms, Sally Thompson breezed in from the examining room. Brown hair sparkling with silver, hazel eyes merry, Sally exuded happiness.
“Lenora, Dr. Lucas is free now,” Elise said.
“Thank you.” Lenora set aside the magazine, greeted Sally then swept out of the room.
Elise handed Sally an appointment card. “Dr. Lucas would like you back in a month.”
“Thanks.” Sally lowered her voice and leaned in. “He’s nice enough but I miss Doc Wellman. Doc always took time to listen, to ask questions, to reassure me.”
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