Gaston’s willingness to visit and support his daughter proved the change in him was more than lip service. “Thank you. Tell me about your family.”
“My wife, Rebecca, and I have two boys and a girl, Toby and Aaron, five and seven, and Melissa, three.” He hesitated. “Maybe when Katie’s a little older, you and Katie can visit us.”
Elise found the idea of Katie having a half-sister and half-brothers both intriguing and unsettling. She knew the loneliness of being an only child, but she also wondered what Rebecca felt about Katie underneath. But if Gaston built a relationship with his daughter, Elise would make sure Katie was part of her father’s family. “I’d like that.”
Gaston gave Katie a kiss, and then gently returned her to Elise’s arms. “It’s hard to leave her,” he said, swiping at his eyes. “I hope you’re happy, Elise.”
She was a child of God. Forgiven. Ready to begin anew. To let go of her past. “I have my precious daughter. I’m ready for the future.”
Perhaps…was it possible?
A future with David?
After telling Gaston goodbye, Elise carried Katie into Twite Hall. She fiddled with a wrinkle in a table skirt, in need of another touch of the iron. She straightened a taper, picked a piece of lint off a napkin and noted a smudge on the wall.
If only she had more time, she’d—
She stopped her frantic striving and smiled. Things weren’t perfect, but they were okay, better than okay.
Years of feeling not good enough had made her overreact to David’s leaving. Made her feel he, too, had abandoned her. She should’ve trusted David. The man he was. She should have been confident in what they’d had. And known something was terribly wrong for David to hold her at arm’s length.
She’d been as guilty as he was for the distance between them. She hadn’t been confident in God’s love. She hadn’t been confident in David’s love. Perhaps Jillian and her baby’s deaths had made David question God’s love, too. Whatever problems he faced, she wanted to share the load. Her pulse skipped a beat. She loved David with all her heart.
If David could not risk loving her, she and Katie would be okay, too. She was enough. Enough for Katie. Enough for God.
God had seen her through every day of her life. He’d never left her, even when she’d disobeyed His commandments, and never would.
But that didn’t mean she wanted to rear her daughter alone. Katie deserved to grow up in a home with two parents. Love might be a risk, but love was a risk worth taking. The time had come for a certain man to know that, too.
She grinned. David Wellman was about to meet a strong independent woman worthy of love. If the man knew what was coming, he’d either run for cover.
Or into her arms.
Chapter Eleven
David relived every detail of Gaston Leroy kissing Elise. The guy had come back to do the right thing by Elise, far too late in David’s estimate. But then, Elise wasn’t asking for his opinion.
David fisted his hands, nails biting into his palms. How could he manage to appear excited about Jake and Callie’s wedding when Gaston could, at that very moment, be proposing to Elise?
“Is moving this furniture too much for you, old man? The way your hands are shaking, I’d think you were getting married Saturday.”
“Just take an end of that sofa,” David ground out between his clenched jaws.
Leaning toward him, Jake thrust his hands in his pockets. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing, my eye. You look like you’ve lost your best friend when you’re supposed to be standing up with him in a couple days.”
“I’ve lost the woman I was afraid I’d fail. Losing her hurts more than I’d ever imagined.”
“What in tarnation are you talking about?”
“Elise had a visitor.”
Jake flicked a piece of lint off the sofa. “Who?”
“Gaston Leroy, Katie’s father.”
Jake’s scowl resembled a thundercloud in a stormy sky. “Well, he’s almost two years late.”
“Exactly. Apparently Elise doesn’t share our opinion.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I saw him kiss her. She looked…” He swallowed, then forced out, “overjoyed.”
“I find that hard to believe. The man’s a jerk.”
“Jerk or not, Elise is the kind of loyal woman who’d love a man for a lifetime.”
“About time you realized that,” a feminine voice he’d recognize anywhere said.
Heart pounding in his chest, David whirled toward the door.
Elise.
Hands planted on hips, eyes glowing with happiness. His heart plunged. No doubt anticipating wedded bliss with Katie’s father, she was beautiful, lovelier than he’d ever seen her.
“I’ll take this as my cue to leave,” Jake said, slipping by Elise. “I’ll be in the kitchen, if you need me, old buddy.”
With a nod to Jake, David moved toward the window, staring out at the setting sun, in sharp contrast to the squall raging inside him. Every muscle tense, feet planted, breath held, he braced himself for the words he knew were coming.
Why not get it over with? He turned to face her. “When’s your wedding?”
“What?” Wearing a faint frown, she tilted her head, a quizzical expression in her eyes, as if he were talking gibberish.
Why didn’t anyone understand plain English? “I saw you and Katie with Gaston. I saw him kiss you. You looked happy. Like a family.”
“Gaston has a family, a wife and three children.”
David’s jaw dropped. “He’s not here to marry you?”
“Bigamy is against the law.”
That no-good loser deserved a taste of the misery he’d given Elise. David was just the man to give it to him. “Are you okay? If he’s hurt you, I’ll—”
“I’m fine.”
She stepped toward him, stopped inches away. She looked fine. Better than fine. She took his breath away.
“Then…why’s he here?”
“Gaston came to see Katie. To ask my forgiveness. He’s changed.” She plopped dainty hands on her hips. “Must we discuss Gaston?”
“Well, no. Of course not.”
She leaned toward him then, those dark eyes of hers searching his. “Would marrying Gaston have been okay with you, if he’d been free and wanted to marry me?”
“I…ah.” He wanted to shout no. To tell her how relieved he was. But she deserved more than him. “I wouldn’t ruin your chance for happiness.”
“Nonsense!” She released a sigh. “What happened to the David I fell in love with?”
She loved him? Still? A spark of hope lit inside him, a small ember that flickered then died, smothered by the heavy weight he carried.
His gaze settled on the fireplace hearth, a gaping black hole. Empty, cold, lifeless. Like him.
“I used to believe I wasn’t good enough to be your wife.”
His gaze snapped to hers. “Now who’s talking nonsense?”
“I had a baby out of wedlock, David.”
“That’s hardly news to me. I delivered Katie.”
Her eyes glistened with sudden tears. “I’m not pure. I—”
“Your past doesn’t matter. Not to me! You’ve always been special. Always been blameless in my eyes.”
“Blameless?” She gave a harsh laugh. “I believed I deserved to be abandoned. By my father. By the town. By Gaston. When you left and returned without an explanation, that hurt, but underneath, I believed I deserved that, too.” She released a breath. “I believed I wasn’t good enough for anyone to stay. The fear of abandonment made me leery of giving my heart. Yet to fear love is a living death.�
�
“Oh, Elise, you are worthy. To me, you’re perfect. The kindest, most hardworking, most caring woman I know.”
“I’m hardly perfect. None of us are. But I’m a child of God. That means I’m worthy. It’s taken me a while but I’m learning that what we feel is not always what’s true.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Why won’t you open up to me? Since you’ve returned, you’re distant. That’s merely another kind of desertion.”
He let out a short, bitter laugh. “You said you didn’t think you were worthy of me. That’s ironic.”
“Why?”
“Because…”
His eyelids closed, shutting out the pretty lavender and pinks of the evening sky, going back in his mind to that dark moonless night. That night when everything turned ugly.
“Because what?” she probed with soft words, a gentle touch on his arm.
Undeserving of her concern, dreading her reaction, he pulled away. His gaze returned to the fireplace. Useless without a log for fuel. He had no fuel, no reserves. “Because…I’m not worthy to be anyone’s anything!”
“Why? Why on earth would you say that? You are the smartest, most compassionate man I—”
“I’m not!” He turned away, pressed his forehead to the glass. “I’m the man who killed my own sister and her baby.”
With a firm grip on his arm, she turned him to her. Eyes wide, fierce, determined, she shook her head. “You could never kill anyone.”
“Oh, but I did.”
“What happened, David? Tell me.”
Like a dam breaking under the pressure of flooded waters, words burst from his mouth, spilling out what he’d held inside. “Jillian’s labor went on too long. I wanted to do a cesarean. She wouldn’t hear of it. Insisted she’d had three children naturally. She said, ‘This one’s stubborn, that’s all.’ I looked at her husband Ned, holding her hand as she rode another wave of contractions. Then…”
He swiped at the tears filling his eyes. “I couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat. Suddenly, there was blood. Lots of blood. I’d waited too long. As I lowered the ether-soaked cloth to her face, Jillian said, ‘Save my baby.’ Those were her…last words.”
Her gaze gentle, sad but not condemning, Elise drew him into the circle of her arms. “I’m sorry.”
“I opened her abdomen, her womb. The cord was wrapped around the baby’s neck three times. I held that tiny baby boy in my hands, I fought to save him, but…he was gone.” A sob. “I lost them. I lost both of them. I didn’t save her baby. I didn’t save her! I waited too long.”
“Oh, David.” Elise wept against his chest, still circling him in her arms.
He jerked away. He couldn’t accept compassion he didn’t deserve. “I can hardly stand to look at myself in the mirror. Don’t you see? I failed my sister and her baby. Because of me they’re dead.”
“She’d had three children without a problem. No one had a reason to believe anything would go wrong. You did all you could.”
“If my own family dies under my care, what kind of a doctor am I? What kind of a man?”
With gentle fingers, she wiped away the tears on his face then tenderly kissed his damp cheeks. “Don’t quit medicine because you’re afraid to fail. Your patients need you.” She cradled his jaw in her palms, a balm of comfort. “Don’t quit me because you’re afraid to fail.”
With his whole being, he wanted to hug her, yet his hands remained at his side. “Don’t you see? I’m not good enough for you. I could fail you and Katie in a hundred different ways!”
“I know you’d never deliberately harm Katie or me. God only asks us to do the best we can. We’re not infallible. Only God is.”
“What if—”
“What if what?” She laid a palm over his heart, surely felt the thundering beat through his shirt. “David, life is a risk. Either we take that risk or we lose out on the gift God has given us.” She stepped back and looked up at him. He gazed into eyes he knew as well as his own. “The question is—are you brave enough to take that risk?”
* * *
Holding her breath, Elise waited, staring into those haunted gray eyes, praying with all her heart and soul that David could forgive himself. Could accept her love. Could love her in return.
“I’m tired,” he said, voice shaky and weak as if he’d gone to the ends of the earth and back. “Tired from carrying that weight. Of hiding from you. Even from God.”
“Rest, David. Allow God to heal your heart. In time He will.” She took his hand in hers. “You know Jillian and her baby are okay.”
“I couldn’t bear it otherwise.” Tears continued flowing down his face. She hoped cleansing tears. “I’m heartsick for Ned, for the kids.”
“Of course. You love them. God does, too. He’s watching over them. Just as He watches over you and me.”
David met her gaze. “I’m mad at God.”
“I understand that. But faith doesn’t mean the absence of trials. Faith means we walk through those trials with God beside us.”
“I’ve seen that faith in Ned. And in you.” He let out a shaky sigh.
“Can you do it, David? Can you forgive yourself? Forgive God?”
A sob. “I know no other way to survive.” The remorse she’d seen in his eyes faded, then vanished, replaced with pure dazzling joy. “God loves me.” David opened his arms. Elise stepped into them, rested her head against his chest. He hugged her close. “I’ll do the best I can to never fail you and Katie. I’ll do my best to trust God with whatever life tosses our way.”
“That’s all we can do.”
“I love you, Elise,” he said, his voice husky with emotion.
“I love you, David. Your arms are the place where I feel cherished, at home.”
He cradled her face in his hands. “I want to be your husband. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
Heart pounding, she threw her arms around him, leaning back to smile up at the man she loved with all her heart. A good man. A caring man who would be a wonderful husband and father to Katie. “Yes!”
His gray eyes grew solemn, as if making a pledge. “With God’s help, I will be the best husband and father that I can be.”
“You know, I’m learning perfection isn’t what God demands. Or even what we can do. I’ll make mistakes.”
“I’ll make them too,” David said, stroking her hair.
“Let’s talk about them, not let them fester.”
“I have an even better suggestion for mending hurts.”
With gentle hands, he lifted her face to his and lowered his head. The soft, insistent pressure of his lips on hers soothed, promised she’d never feel abandoned again.
Her eyes drifted close as she swayed to him. She circled his neck with her arms, slipping her fingers through the hair at his nape, pulling him to her. The kiss deepened, sending a shiver clear to her toes, stealing her breath, sealing her heart forever.
They pulled apart, staring into one another’s eyes, lost in the wonder of their love. In David’s arms Elise felt whole, safe, valued. “I love you,” she said, smiling through her tears. This time tears of joy. “I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you how much.”
A throat cleared. “Looks like a double wedding may be in order.”
Elise and David jerked toward Jake. The grin on his face surely matched their own.
“What do you say?” Jake asked. “You’re standing up for us. We’d be happy to return the favor.”
David studied her beneath raised brows. “Would you prefer your own day, Elise?”
Elise put an arm around David and turned to Jake. “If it’s all right with Callie, we’d love to share your wedding day.” She laughed. “Besides,
I don’t think I could stand another two weeks of wedding preparations.”
David chuckled. “None of us could. Well, it looks like you and I will be making a trip to Bloomington tomorrow for the license.”
“Oh, what about the food for the reception?” Elise said.
“If I know Sarah, she’ll gladly oversee preparing the food, if it means seeing us married.”
Elise giggled. “Mama will be in a tizzy and love every minute of it.”
“Just two more days, my love. On Saturday I’ll make you my wife.”
He brushed her lips with his and she knew it would be the two longest days of her life.
Chapter Twelve
Elise inhaled the fragrance of spring drifting from the white peonies and gladiolas bedecking Callie’s parlor where close friends and family had gathered to witness the nuptials.
Across the way, Mildred and Flossie mopped happy tears with handkerchiefs edged with Flossie’s tatting. Elise carried one tucked in her bouquet of roses. Down the row Lenora and Jeremiah sat beside two former residents of Refuge of Redeeming Love—Joanna and Grace, faces glowing with joy and hope.
And why not? Hadn’t Elise been where they were, unwed and wounded? Yet God had given Elise the desires of her heart.
On the front row, Ronnie slept on his grandmother Dorothy’s lap while Mama held Katie, a miniature bridesmaid in a pink chiffon dress and white slippers. Elise hoped her daughter would act the part during the ceremony. With a baby, who knew what she’d do?
Thanking God for her blessings, Elise waited in the foyer, gripping her father’s arm, about to marry the man of her dreams.
“You’re a beautiful bride,” Papa said. “Never been prouder of you, except for the day you brought Katie into the world.”
“Thank you, Papa.”
“I regret I wasn’t the father I should’ve been—”
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