“Well, I must say. You are determined. But I will add that your life isn’t as rich as you think it is little girl.”
“Get out!”
He placed his hat on his head and his trench coat over his shoulders.
“I will show myself to the door, but um, next time you speak with your mother or father, ask them if you can see your birth certificate...the real one.”
As quick as Mr. Kent had appeared on my door step, he was gone. Needless to say, I couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night. I sat up wondering...thinking. What the hell had Mr. Kent come to undo as he stated? A huge, dark cloud hovered over me as I sat in the middle on my living room floor of my condo and looked around. There was no one there but me. I didn’t know if I could do it now or how eternally I could get away with it. But it seemed right. And I hated everything. At the moment I hated Jase the most...for making this decision hard on me and not letting that eight teen wheeler hit me and draw me a blank in this world. But then I could hear him. My Pal pal—his wise words. I stood up slowly and went into my empty room and over to a dresser drawer that came with the condo. I tugged at it, disturbing the dust that collected in its cracks, chipping its antic wood and pulled out his translated letter. As I unfolded it I shook and could feel my weight shifting from under me. I walked over to my window and sat by it as I clinched on to every word. After every sentence I sunk deeper and deeper into my sorrow.
I let sheers and sheers of sheading go as I realized what Mr. Kent had come to say. I held my hands to my face and broke down crying. I couldn’t phantom this, not in a million years to be my subjection. If at all it was real—I knew Jase wouldn’t joke with me like this. But I had to know. Who was I? A lost soul? A homeless child? A sparkling glass of Chardonnay gleaming so bright that it could blind the most intrigued admirer...the girl that wanted to know if that flute glass was half way empty or half way full. But she couldn’t see through it, into it, or deep down in the mist of its bubbles that could disappear at any given point leaving such a tantalizing taste....lifeless.
Epilogue
Paris, France
September 18, 1985
My dearest Chardonnay.
If you’re reading this, by now I am dead and gone. I wasn’t always a prosperous man or the grandpa you may have known me as by now. One thing is for sure, I’ve always loved you. The moment you were born into this world. You may have grown up to be a beautiful woman and innocent to the things that might try to cause you harm in this scary world. That’s why I’ve wished to hide you from some things.
Not everything in life is a fairy tale as you may know now. Looking at you playing in the floor at this very moment—I’ve decided not to disregard your truth. I will no longer do that to myself as well. In the nineteen sixties...I passed for white, gaining all the privileges blacks couldn’t get, most importantly for work. I married your grandmother Etta Williams as a white and black couple. Our children were the color of the rainbow...I laugh when I think of all of them now. But the most fairest of them all was Fallon. The baby. She had skin the color of buttermilk and was a beauty and... my pride and joy. Everything about her glistened, even her golden eyes. She learned very quickly and in our land of France was an honor student. She began college at the age of fifteen-years-old, even.
As time passed my identity was found out and I along with my family became banished from our neighborhood. I fought for a democracy but how could a man that denied his heritage stand up for it. The town we resided in no longer was safe and I was broad casted over the news for my indescribable acts. However not all was resolvable.
Fallon fell ill, pleading to stay in the country. From there on out everything was at a lost, and I can’t go into the motions of what followed to come. Chardonnay, your real mother is dead. Please forgive me when I say it was my fault for your detoured future. Your father is not your father. Your siblings are not your siblings. Trust me when I say, Fallon loved you, she never wanted to give you up. I didn’t want my family to be out casted by a child born out of wedlock. It was in your best interest.
From the heavens,
Pal pal
Table of Contents
Copyright
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
1 I’m Not Me
2 Perfect Fairytale
3 Holding Loose
4 Fearfully in Love
5 In Too Deep
6 Operation: Got Him Crying at Midnight
7 Me, Myself, and My… or So I Thought
8 Do What I Do
9 Crossing Lives
10 Girl Fight!
11 Naughty Girl
12 Scared of Fate
13 Family Matters
14 Eyes Wide Open
15 Eyes Wide Shut
16 The Main Event
17 All-American Gangster
18 The Fallout
19 Cold World
20 Love’s Cry
21 Displaced Emotions
22 Model Revealed
23 Lies, Love, and Resentment
24 Invisible Deception
25 Stripped
26 What I Do in the Dark...
27 ...Will Eventually Come To Light
28 What Lies Ahead
29 Love Lost/Purpose Found
30 Kent’s Legacy
Epilogue
Chardonnay: A Novel Page 30