by Tasha Ivey
You know, I thought I had my life all figured out. After that one fateful day, I didn’t think I was meant to have the fairy tale ending. Hell, I didn’t even think I was meant to love again. But I figured something out along the way. Sometimes, it takes someone just as broken as you are to heal you. Sometimes, it takes someone else to show you that you won’t heal until every breath you take is for you, not anyone else. The scars may not ever fade, but the heart can be put back together piece by piece, if you have the right person for the job.
Sawyer did that for me. I knew he didn’t steal my happy ever after . . . he gave it to me.
“What time did you tell me that everyone would be here tomorrow night? I’d like to go get William sometime tomorrow afternoon.” I come up behind Makenna and wrap my arms around her waist. She’s expertly putting mascara on every single lash and making the cutest faces in the process.
“Ooh, I’d love it if you did that. My parents should be here by six, and Callie and Wes should be here just before then. She’s going to help me get dinner finished. Is Dalton going to be able to make it?”
“He said he’d be here as long as he didn’t get called into the hospital.”
Makenna wanted to plan a little dinner party to thank everyone for helping us out over the last couple of months while we both healed from our injuries and got back into a normal routine. What she doesn’t know is that it’s not happening tomorrow at all. Surely, she won’t freak if I bump it up a day, right?
I look over her creamy skin as she adds the finishing touches to her unnecessary makeup. Her bruises have finally faded completely, and her jaw isn’t swollen anymore. I actually got my cast off a couple of weeks ago. We’re both thankful that it all wasn’t much worse. The bastard nearly killed her.
But I guess Drew is going to be getting some much needed help. I just hope it works. We went to his sentencing hearing a few weeks ago, and we know we’ll be able rest easy, at least for a while. He openly admitted that he was guilty for all charges against him, including breaking and entering, battery, and attempted second degree murder.
As much as I hate to admit it, I kinda feel sorry for the guy. By that time, all the drugs he was on had gotten out of his system, and he had a pretty clear head. Our eyes met when Makenna and I walked into the courtroom, and I was struck with what I saw on his face. Remorse. He wasn’t even fazed by the twelve year sentence; I think he wanted it. I think he knew that he’d sunk as low as he could get, and he finally realized he needed some help. It may be a long road for him to get there, but after he spends a lot of time in therapy and they get his medication regulated, I think he may actually be able to function as a normal human being again. Maybe. As long as he’s a million miles from Makenna. If he gets any closer than that, he won’t have to worry about functioning anything.
“Well, I have to head out to Giano’s and get the water pump put on his car.” Which I did yesterday. “Are you going anywhere?”
She fluffs her hair, and the delicate scent wafts into my nostrils. “Nope. Cal called this morning and said she’d be swinging by around three o’clock. Wes is leaving town, and you know how she is about staying home alone.”
This is all so much easier because of the fact that she’s so adorably gullible. “Oh, that will be good. I may be a little while, but I’ll definitely be back in time for dinner. You want Giano’s tonight? I won’t let him pay me for working on his car, so he’s insisting on paying me in food.”
“Yum. That sounds perfect.” She shrugs at herself in the mirror, finally giving up on the wayward curl that won’t go under, no matter how many times she tries to tame it. Spinning to face me, she rests her arms at the top of my shoulders. “Have fun today. Sometimes, I think you say something is broken on a car just so you can take it apart and fix it. You get giddy like a little kid.”
I’m excited alright. Just not the reason she thinks I am. “Doctors won’t let me in the O.R., so I’m just improvising. Car surgery is just as fun.”
She snickers and pecks a tiny kiss at the corner of my mouth. “Boys . . .”
Once I’m convinced she has no idea what’s going on, I kiss her goodbye and promise to call when I’m on my way back. The only promise I hope I’ll ever have to break. I drive over to Callie and Wes’s house, and Callie is very impatiently pacing her front porch.
“I was wondering if you were backing out on the whole thing. You’re ten minutes late, you know.” She drums her fingertips on the porch railing as I approach her.
“You couldn’t make me back out. No chance in hell.”
Callie grins wide before she snakes her arms around my waist and rests her head on my shoulder. “I know.”
“Hands off my girl, soldier.” A deep voice bellows from within the house.
I turn toward the front door as Wes steps outside. “I got rid of the uniform, and they still flock to me. What can I say?”
Wes claps me on the back. “Well, that one is nothing but trouble, so good luck.” I shake my head and chuckle when Callie jabs at his ribs and joins him by the door. “So, you’re really going to go through with this, huh?”
For some reason, it hits me at this moment. I haven’t been nervous for even a second until this point, but now I’m suddenly struck with the fact that this is really happening today. In less than an hour. Shit. “I am.” I gulp hard.
“Freaking out a little bit?” Callie cackles.
“Not until just now. I’m a little nervous, but I think, more than anything, I’m just anxious. I’m ready to go now. Giano has the entire restaurant shut down for us tonight, so after we’re finished at Makenna’s, if all goes well, we’ll head over there for some good food. And a lot of wine. I’m going to need it after today, and I don’t even like it.”
We all turn at the sound of gravel crunching under tires. Dalton’s car rolls carefully down the bumpy driveway, and I see his face split into an enormous smile when he sees me. William sits in the passenger side, scowling as usual, and I can’t help but laugh at him. Looking around me at the people who have come together to help me, I realize how blessed I am. These people, along with Makenna, are my family. I always said that I didn’t have one, but I know I do now. It’s strange and dysfunctional, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Makenna and I have both been talking to a therapist, even sometimes together, and he’s really helped both of us. We have a long road ahead, but I think the most important thing we’ve taken from it is forgiveness. It’s not always easy, but I’m learning to forgive my parents. And myself.
I remember my grandfather sitting me down one day when my older cousins had been trying to pick a fight with me. They were bullies and thrived on making me miserable. He said that nothing annoys your enemies more than forgiving them. Even though he wasn’t a part of my life very long, I always had the utmost respect for him, so I took his advice and tried it the next time they started pestering me. I’ll never forget that day. They started tossing rocks at me while I was playing outside, and I walked up to them and said, “I forgive you.” They looked at each other, all sorts of confused, and they left me alone the rest of the day. It may have only lasted that one day, but it did work.
My parents may have broken me for a while, but I hope they can see me now. I hope they’re annoyed as hell.
I finger my grandfather’s medal hanging around my neck. Makenna didn’t let it rest long, so I ended up telling her all about my family and how I grew up, including my grandfather. Once he died, there wasn’t anyone there to make sure my parents cared for me. That’s when everything went downhill. I didn’t want her pity, just like I never wanted anyone else’s. But I didn’t feel that way when I told her. I guess that’s what real love is all about. It’s unconditional, and it changes every single thing you ever thought you knew about yourself and life, in general.
I greet Dalton and William, and everyone circles around me. I’m fighting the mix of emotions that have suddenly made their appearance, and I can’t seem to find the right w
ords to express my gratitude to them. “Thank you all for being here for me today. If you’d told me a year ago that I would be standing here, surrounded by family, with these kinds of plans, I wouldn’t have ever believed a word of it. At the risk of sounding like a total pansy, I want to let you know that you’ve all changed my life in some way or another, and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for me now. My life is finally beginning.” One by one, they all embrace me, until we’re all teary-eyed.
Even William. “I’m proud of you, son,” he says with a quivering chin. “Let’s go get your girl.”
Callie should have already been here, but it’s not like she’s ever on time for anything, so I’m not surprised. She probably got caught up giving her husband a nice long farewell. She’s definitely thorough when it comes to proper, unclothed goodbyes. Well, for her husband, anyway. Thank goodness.
I get tired of reading, so I place my book back in the shelf, stopping along the way to admire the pictures displayed on my mantle. I’ve taken all the pictures of Shane down, except my favorite one of the two of us at the beach. I’ll always keep one of them out, but I finally decided it was time to start replacing some of those memories with new ones. Shane will always have a place here, just like he’ll always be a part of my heart. But Sawyer has somehow invaded every tiny crevice that was empty, and I feel like it’s about to burst. I finally feel whole again.
I hear her car pulling in the drive, so I make a mental list of everything I’ve thought of to tease her about. If it wasn’t for sex, I’m not sure what we’d aggravate each other about anymore. I pull the door open just as she’s getting out of her car, and . . . yep, she’s grinning from ear to ear. She’s definitely been ravaging her husband again.
“Hey, Mak.” She kisses me on the cheek. “I love you so much.”
Well, umm . . . that’s a little unusual for her, but whatever. “Love you, too. Come on in.”
She follows me inside, and I begin to talk, but she grabs my elbow and drags me over to the chair near the fireplace. “You have to sit right here, and don’t get up, no matter what. Okay? Promise?”
What the hell is up with her today? “Uh, okay. I promise.”
She gleams again and pulls some flowers from behind her back. A perfect bouquet of lilacs is tied with a matching silky bow and a note attached. “Read it, Mak.”
“Why did you get me flowers?” I ask as I unfold the slip of paper tied to the ribbon.
“I didn’t. Just read.”
I look inside the note, and I immediately recognize Sawyer’s handwriting. Also there’s a new charm for my bracelet. It’s a ruby—my birthstone. The note, though, is a little confusing.
Completely bewildered, I look up at her, ready to start the rapid fire of questions building in my head, when I see Wes come through the door. “I thought you were leaving town?”
He just winks and holds the door open for someone. It’s William and Dalton. They help William inside and over to me, and the three new amigos are all grinning like idiots. Wes pulls a small bouquet out from behind his back and places it in my hands. “Love you, kiddo,” he whispers before they help William to the couch.
Hoping for answers, I unfold the new note and find another charm and message inside. The charm is two pink baby shoes. Huh?
“What’s going on? I don’t get it.”
Of course, though, that’s when my parents come through the door with another bouquet of flowers. I’m not sure why it took me so long, but I’m beginning to realize what’s going on here. Sawyer has been doing some scheming. Big time.
“We love you, sweetheart,” they say in unison before leaning in to hug me.
Instead of asking more questions that I know they won’t answer, I take the flowers from them, overwhelmed by the sweet gesture and trouble that Sawyer went through to make me feel special. Even if the notes are a tad on the cryptic side. This time, the charm is a red pair of lips.
Nothing is clear to me, including my vision, which is now blurred with my own tears. I have no clue what’s going on. I don’t know where Sawyer is, and I don’t know why everyone is bawling their eyes out. Hell, now I am.
“Would someone please explain?” I plead with them, but if anyone answers me, I don’t hear a word. The slap of the screen door is followed by Sawyer’s appearance. He doesn’t have any flowers . . . only his guitar hanging around his shoulders.
My eyes meet his, and I can see that even he has moisture in his eyes. My favorite lopsided grin pulls up one side of his mouth, and I start laughing. Crying. Hell, I don’t know what I’m doing. I just know that the amount of love that I can see in his eyes—even the amount of love and support I feel in this room—is far more than I’ve ever felt before. It’s overwhelming.
Dalton drags a chair over in front of me, and Sawyer sits down, positioning the side of his guitar over his knee. “Hi.”
I laugh nervously and wipe under my eyes. “Hi.”
“I’m sure you want to know what all of this is about, right?”
I nod my head emphatically. “Please.”
“Well, I needed a way to explain just what you mean to me, and I couldn’t think of a better way to do it than this. Those words on those notes are from a Boyce Avenue song, but I want to finish it by actually singing the end to you.”
I think back to what each one said, and the song doesn’t sound familiar to me. I guess he picked one that I haven’t ever heard. “Okay.”
He clears his throat and looks at the positioning of his fingers before he looks back up to me. His eyes never leave me once he begins strumming the slow tune, and just like when he did the video of him singing, I feel the world fall away like it’s just the two of us here. When his deep, haunting voice fills the room, even though I don’t know the words to the song, he makes me feel their meaning before he ever sings them. I see it in his eyes and sense it in the air all around me.
“And when you feel no saving grace,
Well I’m on my way, on my way.
And when you’re bound to second place,
Well I’m on my way, on my way.
So don’t believe it’s all in vain,
Cause I’m on my way, on my way.
The light at the end is worth the pain,
Cause I’m on my way, on my way.”
He stops singing, even though he continues to play, and I can see nothing but pure, raw emotion on his face. He’s choking down the tears as hard as he can but not succeeding. A soft smile stays on his lips, though. He’s genuinely happy, and it makes my heart ache and warm at the same time.
The music slows, and he swallows hard. His smile falls away, and he becomes more intense. The air in the room suddenly feels like a solid mass.
“I’ll be there the moment
You come out in white,
‘Cause I’m on my way, on my way.”
I try to wrap my mind around those last words as he plucks the final notes. The deafening silence in the room is not helping either. “I . . . wait . . . are you, uh . . .”
He hands his guitar to Dalton, who hands him another folded slip of paper. Sawyer holds it out to me, silencing my stuttering. I open it to reveal another charm—an infinity symbol.
I smile and look back up at him, ready to fling myself at him. Ready to tell him that forever is his. But he’s now on the floor in front of me . . . on one knee.
Both of my hands fly to my mouth, failing to cover the gasp that flies from my lips. I hear Callie giggle, and my eyes dart over to her. I forgot all these people were even here. Everyone is watching every move I make, and their smiles convey more than words ever could. There are so many times in life when words just aren’t enough. I’ll never have the right ones for this moment.
“Makenna,” Sawyer begins, taking both hands away from my face and holding them tight in one of his. “I wasn’t a part of your life for so long, but I think I’ve always been led to find you. I’ve always been on my way. Just like the song explained, I missed out on so many
parts of your life, but you’ve always been meant for me. I don’t want to miss another moment. I don’t want to miss a single breath you take. You tell me that I saved you, but darlin’, you saved me, too. You saved me from myself. You gave me a chance at life that my own parents failed to give me.”
He leans up to press a soft kiss to my lips, and he cups my cheek in his hand. “You gave me hope that I would find the feeling of being complete—the feeling I’ve been searching for my entire life. I didn’t realize it for a long time, but you are the final piece of that puzzle. You make me complete.” He pauses to pull a ring from his pocket and holds it out to me. “I want forever with you, Makenna. Will you please do me the honor of being my wife?”
“Yes, but . . .” Everyone begins to cheer, but silence falls over the room once again when they hear that last word.
“But?” Sawyer’s eyes are slightly squinted.
I let a slight grin curl the edges of my lips. “Forever isn’t long enough.”
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This book would not have been possible without the help and support of so many people. It would probably still be sitting in an electronic heap of junk in my laptop right now. So without further ado, I have a million people to thank!
First of all, a HUGE thanks to my sister, Ashton. She’s my sounding board for all things book related. We have hour-long phone conversations about my fictional characters as if they’re real, and by the end, I’m even more inspired. Oh, and she let me borrow her son’s name for this book. Also, thanks to my mom for reading and reading and reading and always supporting my work. She’s like a drug pusher, pimping my books to everyone she knows.