by Nancy Hopper
She just nodded, and smiled. Gary turned to look at the people on the beach. “We are going to baptize this young lady this evening.” he said. “I didn’t plan it this way, but I feel like it‘s what the Lord would have us do, and Tasha has consented.”
A man stepped forward. “I’ll confirm that, Gary. When I saw her walk out in the water, that’s exactly what the Lord showed me a picture of -- you baptizing her.”
He looked down at her, and had to work hard not to kiss her. All her new-found trust was shining in her eyes. He grinned at her crookedly and put a hand on her shoulder. “Put your arms around my neck, and let me do the rest.” he instructed quietly.
Tasha smiled, and obeyed. She felt herself being lowered into the water, with Gary’s strong arm behind her back. He covered her nose and mouth gently, with a hand.
“Natasha,” he said softly, “I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” The water closed over her head, and then Gary was hauling her up again.
He held her to him, as everyone was hushed; and then they all began to cheer wildly. Gary laughed and squeezed her, then they walked out of the water, arms around one another.
The campfire was very welcome after the dip in the water, and that’s where Tasha parked herself, to warm up. She saw Jim approach and felt a stab of remorse. The first stab of remorse, in fact, that she could ever recall feeling.
“Hey, Tasha.” he said shyly. “I think it’s great, your being baptized and everything.”
“Thanks, Jim.” she replied. “I think I owe you an apology. I haven’t always been very nice to you.”
He shrugged. “I haven’t always been such a nice guy, myself. I used to have a real bad drug habit. Thanks to Gary and a few others, I got out of it. But you know, I was wondering if ... ”
“Hello, you two.” Gary broke in. “Having a good time?”
Jim tensed and sighed, looking up at him. “Real nice, Pastor. But you’ve got lousy timing.”
“Do I?” Gary asked innocently. “So you’ve noticed that my Natasha is a special lady, have you?” he asked without rancor.
“You could say that.” Jim answered uncertainly.
Gary smiled and touched Tasha’s chin gently, before he moved away.
“Jim, I can’t see you anymore.” she explained apologetically. “I ... I’ve found someone that I’m very serious about.”
Jim’s disappointment was very evident. “So who’s the lucky guy? Anyone I know?” he growled.
“Please, don't ask. Jim, you'll find out soon enough. I’m really counting on you to keep my secret.”
Jim shrugged in disgust and looked away. “Yeah. Sure.” he said despondently.
Tasha smiled her thanks, and got up to find Gary. She found him talking to a beautiful woman that Tasha remembered seeing, her first Sunday at the church.
Her smile froze on her face. She’d been overcome with feelings of bitter jealousy the first time she’d seen this woman put her arms around Gary and hug him, and it had only increased when the woman’s toddler daughter had pulled on his pant leg and been cuddled against Gary’s broad chest. Her name was Marietta. Tasha didn’t like her one bit.
“Tasha, I was hoping to introduce you two.” Gary greeted her. “This is Marietta Day. Marietta, Tasha Charles.”
“Tasha, nice to meet you.” Marietta said warmly. “Gary was just telling me about you.”
Tasha smiled brightly. “Uh, oh.” she said worriedly.
“No, no. He was very complimentary.” she reassured Tasha. “I think you’ve made quite a conquest, actually. Or is it the other way around?” Marietta speculated.
“Perhaps both.” Gary admitted, smiling. “You’re too perceptive for your own good, Marietta.”
“Well, you just keep your distance, Pastor.” she ordered lightly. She patted Gary’s shoulder familiarly, and smiled. “This girl is too good-looking to take lightly.”
Gary and Tasha exchanged surprised glances. Marietta hadn’t believed him, and they both thought she’d taken pretty great license.
Gary looked away quickly. “If you two will excuse me, Joe wanted to speak to me.” he said.
“Bye, Gary.” Marietta said breezily, unaware of the undercurrent. “So, Tasha, you’re Deb’s friend?”
“Yes. I’ve known her for many years, actually.”
Marietta sighed, looking sweetly impish. “We love the whole family. I know everyone would love to see Gary stay here, but unfortunately his heart is still in Alaska. When I get married, I’m going to miss this place. But I know there’s a real work to be done up North.”
“Oh. You’re getting married?” Tasha asked politely.
“Yes, this Sunday. Perhaps you’ll be there?” Marietta asked.
“Yes, I should be. Congratulations.” Tasha wished her.
“Thanks. He’s the best man God ever made. I’m very lucky.” Marietta said happily.
“Well, I wish you the best.” Tasha said quickly. “What was that you were saying about Alaska?” she asked carefully.
“Yes, I’m surprised Gary hasn’t mentioned it to you. He’s been up in Alaska, starting a new church. He loves it there. He only came here for a season, to recuperate from his surgery.
"We’re going back to be with him when he goes, but I’m glad we could get married here, first. But I’m kind of leery; Alaska sounds so primitive. I guess it’s natural to have a little fear. It’s exciting, and I know Gary wouldn’t take us into any situation that he was worried about. I trust him. And my little girl, Dodi, is simply nuts about Gary, as well. So, I suspect we’ll all be having a grand time together in Juneau.”
Tasha smiled woodenly. Marietta’s words had crushed her heart. Gary in Alaska? And this woman was going, too? Getting married first? What was that all about? And how could he have overlooked telling her something so vitally important? Something didn’t add up.
“Excuse me, please.” she said quietly, and looked around for Gary. She could barely make him out, by the fireside. Her knees shook as she walked over to where he was talking to a man she didn’t know.
“... It can’t be helped, Joe.” she heard him say impatiently. She halted, unsure whether to interrupt. He sounded somewhat upset. She could relate. “I don’t have any choice at this point, I promised Marietta I’d marry her at one o‘clock.” he said distinctly.
Tasha felt the lash of his words throughout every part of her body. She backed away numbly. “No.” she whispered. “Oh, no. It can’t be.”
It had to be a joke. Gary was going to marry Marietta and take her with him to Alaska. They had both said so. And Gary had told her he needed to wait until Sunday to announce their engagement for a very good reason – once he’d married Marietta, there would be no need. No wonder he hadn’t mentioned anything to her about Alaska! She obviously wasn’t going along!
Anger flooded Tasha’s mind as she remembered Gary’s smooth plea to postpone announcing their engagement. What had he been hoping for? A quick romp before taking off for Alaska? Gosh, if he knew he was going to leave soon, why not? Surely he thought Tasha would give in, if he’d promised to marry her. What a fool she’d been! She turned on her heel and stalked away from the group on the beach.
She went into the house long enough to scoop up her purse and keys. She met Deb in the hallway, and nearly mowed her down.
“Tasha! What are you doing? Whatever is the matter?” she asked worriedly.
“I’m leaving. Thanks for everything, Deb. It’s been a great summer.” Tasha said bitterly.
“What? Where are you ... ”
“As far from Alaska as possible! Tell Gary to have himself a lovely wedding and an even better trip!” she snapped.
The Corvette purred to life immediately. Tasha spun it around, and left rubber all the way out to the highway. They heard it clearly from the beach.
At four in the morning, Tasha pulled off the road, and cried her eyes out. She couldn’t believe it. How gullible could she have been?
Gary must have planned very carefully though, to keep her in the dark about his coming marriage. But it all made sense.
He had been insistent that she tell no one – not even his family. Tasha had never known the kind of pain she was experiencing now, and she was no stranger to betrayal. She didn’t think she’d ever get over this one.
By five, she was back on the road, and at eight she was crossing into Idaho. Her father’s summer lodge was in the lovely, remote mountains of central Idaho. She arrived at noon, wishing she could die.
She unlocked the front door and walked in, her dusty, bare feet padding quietly down the cool, stone hallway to her room. The mirrored walls mocked her swimsuit and tangled mop of hair. She couldn’t have cared less.
She entered her room, and stopped short to stare at a young girl – in her bedroom -- slipping into her terry robe.
“Excuse me?” she said coldly. “Who are you, and how did you get into my room?”
The girl looked up with a startled, wild stare. She had nothing on, under Tasha’s robe. “I ... Brent said ...” the girl stuttered.
“Brent?” Tasha challenged tersely. “You mean, my father, Brent?”
“Tasha?” Her father’s incredulous face peered through the door. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“I got tired of Oregon. Who is she, and why is she helping herself to my things?” Tasha shot back.
“It was a spur of the moment thing. I didn’t think you’d mind.” Brent hinted very broadly. “Candy, wait in my room, please.” her father instructed the girl quietly.
“Oh, my God. This is disgusting! Have you really sunk so low? She can’t be more than fifteen!” Tasha snapped without thinking.
Brent Charles slapped his daughter’s face so hard, she wondered if she still had teeth. She hit the floor with a slap, and her head bounced off the hardwood floor with a crack.
“My love life is none of your damn business!” he reminded her angrily.
“Oh, forgive me.” she gasped in outrage. “Though I really don’t care about your sex life, this time I really thought perhaps you were baby-sitting. How dare you? My room, my clothes? How dare you make my things available to your little whore?”
Tasha found herself in the corner, in a pool of blood. Her nose and eye sockets were throbbing, Her lips and the end of her nose were screaming with pain. She put her hand to her nose and held it gingerly. Her head was throbbing in time with the sharper facial pain.
“Get out, you bitch.” he snarled. “Better yet, give me your house keys. You can take your car, because I want you as far away from me as you can get.” he snapped. “No more money, no more clothes, no more free ride, no more allowance. You are disinherited! How does that grab you, Miss holier than thou?”
“That suits me fine.” she agreed wearily. “May I have time to pack a few changes of clothes, and a toothbrush?”
“Be my guest.” he agreed angrily.
Tasha crawled to her closet, and pulled out some luggage. Brent dropped her ‘Vette keys on her bed, and slammed the door on his way out.
She put what she could in the suitcases she had, and filled the vanity case with toiletries. Then she carried them to the car, dripping blood all the way. She wouldn’t make two trips. It was definitely time to go.
She pulled out of the yard, and brushed away the blood and tears to help her vision. She wasn’t seeing real well, as it was. She drove one hundred miles southeast before she stopped at a gas station.
“Ma’am?” the attendant asked incredulously. ”Are you all right?”
“Dandy. Where’s your restroom, please?” she asked tiredly.
“Around the corner. Can I ... call anyone for you, or anything?” he asked worriedly.
Tasha smiled at the young kid as best she could. “Honey, it’s okay. There’s no one who cares. It’s just a little bloody nose. I’ll be okay in awhile. Just fill the tank, and forget you ever saw me. That’s the best you can do for me.”
Tasha locked herself in the fetid-smelling restroom, and let sobs come at last. “Oh, God. Oh, my God.” she cried. She slid against the wall and squatted, hugging her knees tightly to her chest.
She knew she couldn’t stay long, or the attendant would call the cops. She got up, dabbled at her puffy, bruised face with cold water and scratchy paper towels, and hurried back to her car. She worked for a couple of minutes pulling the tangles out of her hair, and did an inventory of her purse.
She had six thousand dollars cash in the strong box under the seat; her Visa, her Mastercard, and her gas cards. She’d be fine until she found a job. She doubted that her father would think to cancel her cards, until he got the next bill. She put on some light lipstick and blush, and was on her way again.
A week later, Tasha had a job. It didn’t pay much, but she found that she was breaking even. She was staying in a modest hotel; she couldn’t bring herself to look for a place of her own yet.
She had to sell clothes. Low-class, cheaply made clothes. It was a job, but it galled her to see people paying for flashy junk with their hard-earned money. Still, she helped them with fashion ideas, and that was fun.
Her boss had recognized right away that she had a flair for that, and it helped sell. Besides, he thought she was real good to look at.
She was in Denver, where no one would ever know her. She was determined that she’d make it on her own, and have a new start here. She’d taken draws on all of her credit cards in Utah, so her father wouldn’t trace her to Denver. Then, she had cut them up and thrown them all away. She had been able to stash enough that she could live half a year, if she was careful.
Her third night after work, she was so exhausted she couldn’t see straight. She wearily walked out to the ‘Vette and flopped in. She just sat there for a minute, with her face in her hands, trying to get her eyes to focus. She hadn’t been doing so well with her vision since the altercation with her father.
She sighed and said a silent prayer for strength, under her breath. Then she put her key in the ignition and tried to turn the key over.
Her hand would not move. It took a second before she realized that there was another hand over hers, holding her hand in place, and preventing her from starting the car. She looked at it in disbelief, and then let her eyes follow the arm upward, until she was looking into tender, blue eyes.
The love and compassion in those eyes cut her heart open. She pulled her hand away as if she’d been burned, and closed her eyes tightly.
“Get out of the car, Tasha.” Gary ordered softly.
She just shook her head negatively. “How did you find me?” she asked in a tortured voice.
God, how it hurt to look at him.
“That’s a long story. Move over, then.” he insisted.
“No! Get away from me! I hate you, Gary Taylor, I hate you!” she hissed, incensed that her voice was choked with tears.
“I know. Now, you can’t go anywhere without your keys, so use your head for a minute and listen to me, will you?” he insisted pleasantly.
She looked. The ignition was empty, and the keys were in his hand. Impotent rage filled her at the realization that she was helpless. Again. At his mercy, again.
He always took over, and made her come in line. It was so unfair! She had always worked so hard to be in control, the powerful one in every situation.
He leaned over the door of the car. “You could have confronted me, Tasha. You could have belted me, which is what I deserved. Honey, you didn’t even investigate to see if there had been a misunderstanding.”
“At least we agree on something. I should have belted you.” she interrupted.
“I can’t believe I didn’t tell you about Alaska. I guess somehow, it had slipped my mind that you wouldn’t know. Things were happening very quickly, Tasha. I’d only been out of the hospital a week before you started turning my life upside down and inside out. But, that’s why I introduced you to Marietta. I wanted you to get to know her before time to go.”
He sighed
, and let the words sink in. “Glen was coming into town Thursday, and I had a million things on my mind, honey. I can only imagine how you felt, what you thought. I’m very glad Joe saw the look on your face, or it all never would have made any sense to me. When I put the pieces together, I was beside myself.”
He tried to take one of her hands, which she promptly pulled away. “Tasha, my job was to perform the wedding Sunday. Not play a leading role. Marietta married Glen Deal, a friend of mine from Louisiana. She and Glen and her daughter Dodi are going to be with us in Alaska in September to help with the new church there.”
Tasha’s head rose slowly as the words began to make sense. A sob escaped, and she quickly bit it back. She wasn’t ready to open herself up, yet.
“I understand what you thought, honey, but I ... I thought you knew how I felt about you. Good God, did you really think I’d do that to you? My love? The woman I’d asked to share my life with? Tasha, honey ... ” he broke off, and ran a hand through his hair. He fought with despair. She wasn’t responding.
He swallowed hard, and tried to gather his composure. “Tasha, please. Forgive me for being such an idiot. I didn’t mean to keep so much from you. I love you, honey. I want to take you home, and marry you. Please. Please, don’t let this come between us.” he asked in a whisper.
“I’ve never loved anyone but you. I’ve never asked another woman to be my wife. You’re the only one, no matter how it looked. Tasha,” he said, wearily.
Hope fled. He looked at her in torment, and let his head fall on his arm. “I’m sorry. Tasha, no matter what happens, I want you to know. I never meant to hurt you. I love you. I’m so sorry.” he pleaded brokenly.
Watching them from the van was breaking Deb’s heart. She’d never seen Gary so broken and humble. She’d never seen Tasha so ... wounded. It was like she was catatonic, in a stupor.
Gary just knelt down, right there by the driver’s side of her car, going through the black night of the soul. He’d done all he could do. He understood to some degree how much it had taken her to trust him, how deep the hurt had gone, and what she’d been through since then. He didn’t blame her for not wanting to open the wounds, again. Not at all.