by Nancy Hopper
She looked at him pensively, and watched the breeze ruffle his hair. He was so handsome. And he’d been so loving and patient. He’d taken such wonderful care of her, when he’d found her in Colorado.
She knew she needed to talk to him, now. She owed him that. He’d been waiting patiently for a long, long time.
“So. You’re still hanging around this old rag doll, hoping I’ll come around, huh?” she asked wryly.
He looked at her, and then looked down. “I’m doing all right.” he said quietly. “I know the time will come when we can talk about it all. I’m not in any hurry.”
She cocked her head thoughtfully, and considered for the first time that he was suffering as much as she was. “Well; I don’t know that we really need to re-hash a lot of garbage that’s in the past. I mean, there’s nothing that happened that I really want to re-live, or spend a lot of time thinking about.”
Gary looked at her, his steady, blue eyes searching. “So what about us?” he asked seriously. “We really do need to talk about that.”
“Why do you say that?” she asked flippantly. “I was an ignorant idiot, and you didn’t realize it. So what?”
He looked out to sea, and pondered her words. “Tasha, you’ve got a right to be pretty mad at me. I wouldn’t blame you.”
“What purpose would that serve, Gary? You didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t have to flip out, either. I could’ve asked what the hell was going on. Neither of us meant to have it happen.”
"Why would I want to walk away from the best thing that ever has – or ever will happen to me, because of a misunderstanding? You’re still the best thing God ever put on this earth. I say we just pick up and go on. What do you say?”
He looked over at her, measuring the words with something akin to suspicion. “You still ... you still want to get married?” he asked uneasily.
She smiled at him. “Yeah. Gary Taylor, will you marry me?” she asked lightly.
He chuckled and looked at his feet, then stared out at the ocean. “I’m glad you didn’t make me ask you, again. It was scary enough the first time.” he admitted. He looked at her with a crooked grin, and she laughed at him. A little bit.
CHAPTER SIX
Gary stared out the small office window, at the freshly cut lawns below. The September sunlight fell into harsh shadows across his troubled face.
“I’m totally astounded, Gary! It’s not like you to do such a thing. A young college girl, with the reputation of Matilda -- and not even a Christian, except by your persuasion? You know better than that! How is she supposed to survive, much less help you pastor any flock? Don’t you know what would happen to her?”
“I know in my heart, that this is right. She’s not an ordinary girl. She’s been through a lot, she’s ...” he shook his head. “I’d just rather have you meet her, than to try to explain. Please! Give this a hearing, with an open mind and heart. Try to put aside how it looks, and be impartial.”
“I see myself as impartial, Gary. But very well, I will meet this ... girl. But I want you to know that I am very unhappy that you announced your engagement first!”
Gary did not appear troubled by the admonishment. He looked his superior in the eye. “I had my reasons.” he said softly.
Bishop Marshall heaved his large body up out of the chair, moved across the room, and put a comforting hand on Gary’s shoulder. “Listen, son. I’m not trying to be harsh, but you have to be so very careful. You are being prepared for a tremendous leadership position. The call of God on your life is incredible. The people need to see that you are disciplined, that you are going to the Lord for leading, and not running about half-cocked.”
Gary nodded acknowledgment. “I believe that they saw such an example, in this case. Anyone who knows me and has spent much time with Tasha, knows that I didn’t choose her. God has put us together; or, everything I've ever known, is wrong.”
Marshall chuckled. “Well. I’ll meet with you, and counsel the two of you.” he sighed. “Come back at four.”
Gary nodded his thanks, and headed for the door.
Tasha touched the corners of her eyes carefully to stay the tears that were forming and threatening to overflow.
“Tasha, you look incredibly lovely! My dear, I’ve never seen a woman your age, who dresses so intelligently. You’re something else.”
Gary’s mother was a smart dresser, herself. Tasha was a little bit intimidated by the woman’s untouchable sophistication. Her silvery hair was impeccably dressed, her clothing and perfume were obviously only the very best. Tasha was eternally grateful that she seemed to accept her as Gary’s choice, without question.
“Don’t be nervous.” Lydia Taylor soothed. “They’ll be nice to you, really.”
“Oh, I can’t seem to help it.” Tasha confessed with a sigh. “I’m so afraid they won’t want Gary to marry me.”
Lydia smiled her understanding. “Even if I do feel they’re too dictatorial, I can’t believe they’d go that far. And if they did, I imagine Gary would have something to say to them.” Lydia predicted.
Tasha smiled hesitantly. “I don’t think he’d give up his ministry for me.” she admitted worriedly. “I really don’t. But I do hope you’re right.”
Lydia patted her arm. “He’s very devoted to you. Don’t underestimate my son.” she warned Tasha with a twinkle in her eyes.
Tasha smiled, and bit her lip. She kept biting, as she walked with Gary up the steps to the big Seattle church where they were planning to be married. Gary wanted it that way, so that both of his parents could attend their wedding. But first, they had to meet with this 'Bishop Marshall', first. It scared her half to death. She sensed that this man had great influence over Gary.
The silence around them once they were inside the building, was complete, and penetrating. There were only a few, secluded spotlights to illuminate their steps through the darkened hallway. They finally reached the study door, and Gary tapped.
“Come in.” a deep voice boomed. Tasha jumped, in nervous reaction.
The room was nearly bare; just a desk, two chairs and a bench. There were two men sitting at the desk, watching them approach. Gary smiled at her, trying to tease her out of her worry and nervousness.
“Honey, this is Pastor Benson, of this church; and Bishop Marshall, from our Los Angeles churches.”
Grave, brown eyes assessed her without wavering. The large man kind of drew her. Vaguely she noticed dark, curly hair and an iron gray beard. That, and his eyes, was all she could really recall. And he was large, this Bishop Marshall. She hardly saw the other man.
“Please, sit down.” he urged. Gary and Tasha obeyed.
“So, Tasha. You want to marry this young pastor of ours?”
When she nodded her affirmation, he went on.
“How long have you known this?”
Tasha looked at Gary, not sure how to answer. “Not long. Maybe two months.” she replied, sounding much more self-assured than she felt.
“Yet, you’re absolutely sure?” he challenged.
Tasha met the compelling eyes steadily. “Absolutely.” she confirmed.
The silence following her statement made her feel jittery inside.
“You’ve only been a Christian for a very short time. Not even so long as you’ve wanted to get married, I understand. Are you certain it’s God you’re seeking in the church, and not just Gary? They’re kind of a package deal, you know.”
Tasha had the impression that he was on the verge of laughter. “So I understand.” she said coolly. “I can’t honestly sit here and unravel all my motivations for you, Mr. Marshall. All that I’m sure of, is that I love Gary, and I want to marry him. I believe that he knows God, and has a unique relationship with Him. I know that something is happening inside me, as well. I’ve experienced something very special since I met Gary, and I know it’s God. I can’t tell you exactly how much is Gary, and how much is God. But it’s all very real to me.”
A deep, rumbling chuckle met th
e confession. “Come here, Tasha.” he commanded.
She stood fearlessly, and approached the heavy man. The eyes drew her deeper, forcibly dissecting her as she approached; yet they were twinkling. They actually smiled at her, as they cut deep.
He stood silently before her, and put large, heavy hands on top of her shoulders. The man heaved a heavy sigh. She could feel the strength of his presence around her, like an enveloping cloud.
The chuckle came rolling at her, again. “Yes, Tasha. I’d say there’s a little of both, here.” he agreed. “You’re young in the Lord to be getting married, Tasha; and yet, I believe that Gary must be very, very good for you. But, do you have any idea what marriage to a man like this would be?” he asked carefully.
Tasha just waited, and listened.
“He burns, all the time. Burns like a light for the Lord. He’s on his knees through the nights; or, on his face, for hours. He’s got his nose in the Word, all the time. He’s rushing here and there, day and night, in answer to the calls of his people.”
“And his wife ... ” he said significantly, “his wife takes the phone calls, and has to say she doesn’t know where her husband is. She tells the callers that she knows he went to see the lovely young widow Jenkins again, but she hasn’t heard from him since before he went there, several hours ago. And, not have a flicker of doubt in her voice.”
“She has to listen to the outpouring of grief, anger, fear, resentment and loneliness of the people who are calling desperately, counting on him to be at their personal disposal, twenty-four hours every day.”
“She has to smile at the pretty young thing who’s obviously developed a crush on her husband, and hug her, and mentor her -- even though she knows the little monster shows up in his office three times a week with crocodile tears in her eyes, to tell him about this or that problem she’s having.”
"She has to bite her tongue, and be faultless. Faultless, Tasha, before God and man. You will be the standard that the people follow. If they cannot follow you, they will stomp your ministry to death, and crush you in the process.”
He sighed. “You will not be able to lean on Gary. He will not be there, enough. You will have to lean on God, alone. Only He will be faithfully there to give you the strength and the love you will need, to get through the difficult times.”
"Your husband will come home in tears some nights, because he’s so tired and drained in his fight to be a shepherd. And you will have to be there for him. Some nights, he’ll have nothing left at all for you. It will require unfailing teamwork, a strong disposition, and a lot of love. It’s a big pair of combat boots.”
Tasha stared up into his waiting, brown eyes. “What about the fullness that God promises in marriage? What about the joy He’s already given me? What about the faith we’re supposed to have in Him? Why are you trying to paint such a desperate picture, Mr. Marshall? Gary has already given me more to live for than I ever thought was possible! I don’t know about your God, but my God is faithful, and He delivers!”
Gary closed his eyes in sheer dread. Dear heaven, how could she talk that way to him?
There was a long silence. The eyes that Tasha refused to look away from, softened. “Because -- so many times, little lamb, the darkness is all you’ll be able to see. The joy doesn’t come until the morning, most times. And there will be some very long nights.”
“Well, I’m not afraid of the darkness.” she said quietly. When he didn’t respond, she began to wonder just what she’d done. Had she messed everything up too terribly?
“You’re not?” he asked, finally.
“If I ever am, I will overcome it.” she answered. “I’m a survivor.”
The voice chuckled with obvious delight. “Gary. Come here, son.” the pastor commanded.
There was great strength flowing into her, as Gary put his arm around her.
“Pray for her, Gary.” the overseer commanded softly.
Tasha smiled as she felt Gary’s warm, sure hands on her head. His eyes crinkled in a private smile, for her alone.
Then, an amazing thing happened. Tasha quite suddenly, crumbled backward, and nearly fell down. She grasped Gary’s arms and let him draw her up again, but her feet didn’t seem to want to stay on the ground. Her legs buckled and she nearly fell to her knees, only to be drawn up by Gary’s sure, steady pull.
She wanted to understand what was happening, and could not. Yet at the same time, it wasn’t all that important. She couldn’t pull her gaze away from Gary’s eyes, and she was filled with warmth and love, the like of which she’d never experienced before in her life.
“You two do love each other very much, don’t you?” Pastor Marshall said, at last. “She would be an excellent wife for you, Gary. She’s devoted to you already, although she doesn’t completely trust you. I can’t quite distinguish why, but it’s nothing that can’t be healed.”
"And you, son, have been ready for this girl for a long, long time. You’ve been so faithful to the Lord, and now He is going to show you His faithfulness. You’ve found your wife, Gary.”
Gary couldn’t keep from smiling, as he drove along the freeway, following Tasha to his mother's home. The final confirmation had come; he and Tasha would be married September 30th. He squeezed the steering wheel of the car in exultation. He felt such an outpouring of rejoicing in his heart, he could barely contain it!
Tasha was waiting for him, when he pulled into the driveway. He jumped from the car, and pulled her into his arms. They stood that way, basking in the love they shared for a minute, before slowly climbing the steps to the house.
Gary had to laugh at the wonder in Tasha's eyes. She still could not believe it was all going to come true! To be truthful, he had a hard time believing it, himself.
It was a beautiful day. Excitement gripped Tasha as she heard people enter the house. She heard Deb’s voice, then Ruth’s, and Nolan’s low chuckle.
She glanced nervously into the mirror, one last time. Everything looked all right. The ringlet of Ruby roses in her braided crown of hair was not her usual style, but it was becoming; and she knew Ruth was right when she advised that Gary would love it.
She turned to face the girl in the Ruby dress, standing in the doorway. They stared at one another for a long moment.
“Deb, you look beautiful.” Tasha whispered.
“Me? Look at you!” Deb laughed, wiping at her eyes. “The dresses are so awesome, Tash. You’ve got such a flair for clothes. You even have me looking good.”
“Those lines really compliment you, Deb. And it doesn’t take anything at all to make you look fabulous.”
“I never would have thought something so simple could look so elegant.” She sighed happily.
Tasha smiled. “So, where’s Gary?”
“He’s in the kitchen, and you can’t see him.” Deb answered sternly.
Tasha couldn’t help smiling. “So, is he still determined to leave me behind, to ride in the second car?”
“Absolutely.” Deb confirmed. “But you should see him, Tash! He looks incredible.” Her pretty, brown eyes filled with tears. “You have no idea how happy I am, for you. I wish so much that Doug could be here with us. I don’t know what I’ll do with myself, when you and Gary are gone.”
“Come with us.” Tasha urged. “Gary would be delighted.”
“I wish I could.” Deb confided. “Well, I guess I’d better go make sure nothing else needs to be done.”
“All right.” Tasha agreed. She opened her arms, and hugged Deb lovingly. “I’ll listen for your honk.”
Twenty minutes later, Tasha heard the sound she’d been waiting for. She picked up her white satin clutch, and made her way down the hall to the stairs.
She stopped halfway,to listen to the ticking of the clock and to stare about her, in this Seattle house that Gary had grown up in. Her eyes moved to the door of his old room. It was so like him, she thought, pushing the door open to look inside.
Warm and comfortable, yet simple and uncluttere
d. In blues and soft grays with white, she could almost see him sitting on the bed, reading a book.
She turned away finally and descended the staircase, and left the house without another backward glance. The chill September air was just what she needed, to put some sparkle in her eyes and cheeks. She smiled as Deb pulled the car closer.
It was time for her fairy tale to come true.
Gary checked his watch again. She was five minutes late. He shook his head and grinned wryly, wondering what else he had any right to expect. Actually, for a woman who took such pains to look beautiful, she was incredibly prompt most of the time. Still, today he would have given a great deal to have her be on time. His nerves were talking to him most insistently.
At last, his best man touched his arm. “They’re here.” He whispered.
Gary nodded, and they went to the front of the church. He stared at his shoes, while he tried to gather his wits. Sensing all the people before him only added to his nervousness.
He took a deep breath, and smiled. He ventured a look around the large sanctuary, looking sheepish – and yet, with a sharp, clear look in his beautiful, deep blue eyes.
He looked every bit the expectant bridegroom. The radiant glow on his face gave him a changed countenance that few failed to notice.
Deb came through the wide, double doors of the sanctuary to the sweet, low music of violins and cellos. She was stunning in her simple gown of Ruby Red velvet. Gary smiled at her as she passed him. He could see tears brimming in her sweet eyes.
He turned his eyes back to the doors again, as the music changed tempo and swelled to a crescendo. The smile on his face changed to a very serious, somber look as his bride appeared in the doorway.
As beautiful as he knew Tasha would be, he was not prepared for the vision coming up the aisle. The dress was a simple A-line like Deb’s, but it flared at the knee, with layers of soft ruffles flowing to her feet. It was cut low, modified with a scallop-edged lace overlay. The lace sleeves were long and straight, and matched the soft veil which covered her head and face.