“Yeah,” Will laughed. “I figured you weren’t really listening. All you’re thinking about is a weekend alone with me in a fancy hotel. We’re going to UNC-Wilmington. They’ve got a freshman on their team that I’m supposed to scout. She dropped her times down after graduation last year, and now Tom wants me to take another look.”
I swallowed. Too much was hitting me all at once, Tom Stallings was the same man who scouted me. He knew his stuff. If he wanted Will to look at this girl, then she was good. The thought of going with him, seeing him in his element, it thrilled me. The thought of going to the same town that Nick lived in…it made me feel sick to my stomach as the old feelings began to bubble up.
“Leah? You still there?” Will called from the other end of the line.
“I’m here. Sorry,” I stammered.
“You ok?” he questioned. “You still want to go, right?”
“Yeah…of course,” I choked out. UNC-Wilmington was a big campus, and we were only going to be there for one day…a few hours really. What were the chances that I would run into Nick?
“Well I gotta go. I just wanted to run that by you. I’ll see you Friday,” his voice had lightened.
“Yeah…Friday. Love you.”
“Love you too,” he disconnected the call.
As the day went on, thoughts of my weekend alone with Will flitted through my head. It would be nice to get away, just the two of us. Maybe I could spend the day in the hotel while Will went to the campus. Maybe he wouldn’t care if I stayed behind while he worked. Who was I kidding? We haven’t seen each other in two weeks, he was going to want to be with me every second of the day. I groaned as I dropped my head down onto my folded arms. It seemed I had a knack for putting myself in awkward situations. As I tried to push the thoughts out of my head, I finally fell asleep in the sunshine.
ooooooooo
“Booo!” came a voice right beside my head.
I jolted awake, and turned toward the offender to see Avery grinning at me. “What?” I grumbled.
“Thought you might want to come inside before you cook out here,” she rocked back on her heels, and moved to stand.
“What time is it?” I glanced around, and noticed that the sun was starting to sink behind the trees of the backyard.
“Around five…I was going to order out. Want to join?” she motioned to the house.
“You’re not spending the night with Logan?” I knew I sounded snotty, but I didn’t care.
“He’s coming over later. I wanted to spend time with you today. I’ve been home for over an hour, but you’ve been asleep,” she lifted a shoulder. “I finally got tired of waiting for your lazy ass to wake up, so I decided to give you a nudge.”
“Thanks,” I sighed as I rolled to a sitting position. “It’s been a weird day.”
“What do you mean?” she crinkled her forehead.
“Let’s go inside. I’ll tell you then,” I pointed at the door as I moved to a standing position and grabbed my towel.
ooooooooo
After moving inside, I sat at the table and waited while Avery called in our dinner.
“Ok…now spill,” she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the kitchen counter.
“Will called,” I placed my elbow on the table, and rested my head in my hand.
“Isn’t that a good thing?” her face scrunched even more.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “I miss him, but it was what he had to say that’s bothering me.”
“Oh,” she moved from the counter to sit in a chair across from me. “And?”
“He got offered a scouting job,” I mumbled as I tilted my chin, so my eyes to stared at the table. “He’d be traveling…a lot…and we’d see each other even less than we do now.”
“Ok…this may be a dumb question, but…why don’t you go with him?” Avery nudged my arm.
“I can’t,” I whined.
“Umm, why not?” she pushed my elbow causing my head to dip. I glanced up at her before turning my gaze away, “I don’t want to be that girl. I don’t want to be the one that follows her guy where ever he goes. I want my own life.”
“Leah,” Avery flopped back in her chair, “following Will is not a bad thing. He loves you. What do you have here that you can’t get with him? What would you be missing by leaving? Besides me,” she grinned.
Avery was right…what would I be missing?
“My family’s here,” I rolled my eyes.
“You didn’t have a problem leaving them the last time,” she grumbled. “I think you think he’s gonna come back for you. I think you’re still holding out hope.”
“Who?” I snapped.
Avery stood just as the doorbell rang. As she began walking toward the door to answer it, she called over her shoulder, “Nick. You’re waiting for Nick.”
All the air whooshed out of me as her words hit their mark. Was I waiting for Nick? Would he come back for me? It had been close to a year since he’d left. I had tried to call him, but he’d changed his number. After the first six months had passed without a word from him, I’d given up.
“You know it’s true,” Avery huffed as she waltzed in carrying the bag that contained our Chinese takeout. “You’re still in love with him.”
“I’m with Will now,” I demanded. “Nick left.”
“He may have left town, but he’s still in your heart. You can’t deny that. I see it every day,” Avery placed the bag on the table and glared at me.
“No! I’ve moved on. I love Will. We’re together. We love each other,” I turned and narrowed my eyes on her. “Nick and I were never gonna work. We were trying to rewrite the past. I can’t live in the past. I need to move on to the future.”
“Say whatever you want. I see it on your face,” she pointed at me. “You love him…more than you’ll ever admit. You need to find him, and talk to him. You’re never gonna have what you want with Will as long as you’re still in love with Nick.”
“He doesn’t want to talk to me,” I stood and placed my hands on my hips. “How am I supposed to do that if he won’t talk to me?”
“Find a way,” she glared. “The Leah Carmichael that I used to know would never have let things get like this. If you love Will, then fine. Be with Will. But you have to let Nick go. You need to find him and close that door for good. Your insecurities that you have over leaving are coming from Nick. Whatever is holding you back…whatever this fear is…it’s gonna cause you to lose Will.”
I dropped back down in my chair defeated. Avery was right. I was still in love with Nick. That thought caused anger to bubble up in me. Anger that I’d been suppressing for months. How could one man do this to me for so long? I was trying to move on, move on with a great guy…one I was starting to fall in love with.
“You need to decide what you want,” Avery whispered as she turned to leave the room.
“I know…I’m sorry,” I rubbed at my face.
“Sorry?” she turned with some paper plates in her hands.
“Sorry I’ve been so…you know,” I shrugged.
“Bitchy,” she responded as one side of her mouth lifted into a half grin.
“Don’t hold anything back,” I laughed.
“Leah…” she paused and took a deep breath, “If anyone knows anything about being afraid of a relationship…it’s me. Look at how long it took Logan and me to work our shit out. We still aren’t sure what we are. I’ve seen the way Will looks at you. He loves you. If you don’t go with him, he’s gonna wonder why.”
“I’m going with him this weekend,” I stuffed a forkful of food in my mouth. “He asked me to go with him, and I said yes. I told him to take the job too.”
“You need to ask him if you can move back to Atlanta with him,” Avery urged. “If he’s the one you want…you need to be all in.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” I groaned.
“You need to get ready. Will’s a keeper. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted this job so he cou
ld move things forward. With the way things have been lately, it seems like he’s looking for more income. I’d bet money that he’s working up to asking you to marry him.”
I coughed as the food that was in my mouth wedged itself in my throat, “Marry him? I’m not looking for that.”
“Will’s at that age Leah. He’s gonna want to settle down. If you truly love him, why would you want to wait?” she glanced at me as she wiped the napkin across her mouth.
“I…” I looked away.
“You always pictured yourself marrying Nick,” she nodded as she took the words right out of my mouth.
“No,” I protested.
“Stop lying!” she glared at me. “Just stop! Figure out whom you want, and then go for it.”
“I can’t. Nick doesn’t want me,” my eyes began to well with tears as the admission fell from my lips.
What was wrong with me? Just hours ago I was talking to Will about how much I missed him, and now Nick had weaved his way back into my heart. The answer was easy…Nick had never left. My heart was only big enough for one man. I needed to decide which man was going to own it, and then commit to them. This weekend I would go to Wilmington with Will. We’d have a romantic weekend for just the two of us. I’d show my heart that it wanted Will. Nick was no longer an option. I needed to let him go for good.
Chapter 4
Leah
I moaned as I felt his hand drift up my thigh, nimble fingers searching to tease me. “Please?” I begged as he placed hot, wet kisses along my neck. His erection was pulsing as it rubbed along my leg.
“Please what?” he murmured as he rocked his hips, and thrust forward into me.
I groaned, and arched my back as I met him. When his lips met mine, wild hunger surged through me. I reached up, and raked my nails down his back as he began to slam into me harder.
“Don’t stop!!! Oh God don’t stop!!!” I panted as he reached a hand around my hip and lifted it to get a deeper angle.
“Leah? What are you doing in there? Did Will come home early?” came a muffled voice.
My eyes jolted open and whipped wildly around the room. It was only a dream. My breathing was coming in ragged gasps, and sweat covered my body. I glanced over at my alarm clock on the bedside table to see it was only five a.m.
“I’m fine Avery,” I called out embarrassed that she’d heard me.
“Could you keep it down then? I’m trying to sleep,” her footsteps stormed off in the direction of her room as I rolled to my side and tried to calm down.
As I laid there letting the dream come back, guilt began to wash over me. Nick was now making his way into my dreams. Wasn’t Will supposed to be the one that I was dreaming of? He was the one I was truly missing right now, right? As confusion and uncertainty began to plague me, I wrestled with the sheets to get comfortable. I’d been so turned on before that the sweat from my body had caused me to become a tangled mess.
“Surprise,” came a hushed voice as the door cracked open, and I jolted to a sitting position.
“What are you doing here so early?” I stammered as Will pushed my bedroom door open.
“I left in the middle of the night. I couldn’t stand being away any longer. I missed you Leah,” he took a few large strides toward me as he let his duffle drop to the floor.
I scampered back toward the headboard as he sat beside me and leaned in for a kiss.
“I couldn’t do it…be away from you for one more minute. I knew I needed to get in the car and drive as soon as my dinner meeting ended last night,” he whispered against my lips as he tried to deepen the kiss.
Guilt from my dream surged to the forefront of my mind, and I pulled back.
“What?” confusion marred his beautiful face.
“I haven’t brushed my teeth,” I lied as I diverted my eyes from his.
“I don’t care,” he pushed on my shoulders causing me to fall backward on the pillows as he moved to cover my body.
Before he could get too far, I rolled to the side and effectively thwarted his attempts.
“Is something wrong?” he wrinkled his forehead as he grabbed at the back of his neck.
“No,” my eyes flashed as I sighed, “I’m just tired. I woke up from a nightmare,” I lied again and was ashamed at how easy it was “and I really just want to go back to sleep.”
“I’m sorry Baby,” his eyes softened. “Why don’t I change, and we can go back to sleep together?”
“I’d like that,” I grinned at him as I moved over to what was normally my side of the bed.
Will stood up, removed his shirt and jeans, and climbed into the bed beside me. When he reached for me, I went willingly and placed my head on his chest.
“Go to sleep,” he mumbled lazily. “We’ll talk about the weekend later.”
As Will drifted off, I went from tired to wide awake. The weekend? I now had a whole new list of things to worry about. Nick, Wilmington, Will and Nick in the same city, Will’s new job, leaving Pittsford to go with Will, Nick, Nick, my dream about Nick… The list kept growing, and the more I thought about it, the more Nick’s name kept popping up on it. I had to let him go, it wasn’t fair to Will.
ooooooooo
“So you really want me to come with you this weekend?” I glanced out of the corner of my eye as I shoveled cereal into my mouth.
“Do you think you really need to ask that?” Will smirked as he sipped his coffee.
“Well I just thought…” I trailed off as Avery waltzed into the room and gave me a pointed glare.
“I only have to be at the track for a couple of hours while they practice. We’ll have the whole weekend together after that,” he reached out and covered my hand with his.
I offered a weak smile, “Ok.”
“The team’s putting me up in an ocean front hotel. It’s gonna be better than ok,” he chuckled. “You, me, on a beach all weekend. Soaking up the sun, swimming in the warm Carolina surf. Maybe we can do some night swimming,” his brows bounced at the insinuation.
“You want me to go skinny dipping?” my face flamed.
“You don’t have anything I haven’t already seen Leah,” he teased as he stood to carry his mug into the kitchen.
“Yeah, but what about everyone else that will be around?” I swallowed the lump that was forming. The truth was, I used to be kind of a daredevil, and if it were Nick asking I would have jumped at this. Why was the idea of going with Will holding me back?
“Nobody else will be around. That’s why you go at night,” he smirked as he strode over and placed a kiss to my temple. “I’m going to go pack.”
“I’ll be in, in a minute,” I murmured as he pulled back.
“Don’t take too long. We need to hit the road soon,” he warned as he disappeared down the hall.
“Ok…spill!” Avery plopped down beside me.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I turned back to my cereal.
“Something’s going on with you,” she shook her head at me. “I can see all over your face. Do you honestly think he can’t?” she pointed in the direction that Will had just gone.
“It’s Nick…it’s always Nick,” I groaned. “I had a dream about him. I can’t get him out of my head Avery. What am I gonna do?” I glanced at her with pleading eyes before darting them toward the hall. “Will deserves better.”
“You’re right, he does. You have to talk to Nick. You two need to get some closure. You’re never going to fully move on without the closure,” she puffed out a breath.
“I know…I know I need this, but I don’t know how to go about it,” I shook my head before dropping it into my hands.
“Go away for the weekend. Enjoy your time with Will. Remind yourself why you want to be with him, why you love him. We’ll figure out the rest when you get back. Besides,” she stood “the universe always has a way of making things work out for us. We may not like how it goes about doing it, but it always works out.”
“I don’t know how much
I believe that Avery. Why would the universe bring Becca back into my life? What purpose did her hurting me serve?” I bit my lip as I looked up at her.
“I never said it was kind, just that it always worked out. Go pack,” she pointed at my bedroom door. “Will is gonna wonder what’s taking you so long. You’ll figure all this out, I promise.”
“Thanks Avery. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I offered a weak smile.
“You’d be lost and bored out of your mind,” she giggled. “Now go!”
ooooooooo
Later that day when we pulled up to our hotel, The Residence Inn, I stepped out and scanned my surroundings. It was beautiful. We were right on the beach, and around the corner from the campus. The salty sea air whipped through my hair as gulls cried in the distance. It was almost time for the sun to set.
Will wouldn’t have to travel far tomorrow, and I had talked him into letting me hang out on the beach while he went to track practice. Being around something that I used to love, and now couldn’t do anymore was painful, to say the least. Will seemed to understand, and not fight me on going with him.
“Come on,” I reached for Will’s hand as he closed his car door. “I want to see this.”
I pulled him behind me as I walked as fast as my legs would carry me toward the ocean side of the hotel.
“We need to get our stuff, Leah,” Will called from behind me.
“In a minute,” I continued to drag him until I’d made it over the dunes. When the water came into view, I stopped and dropped his hand. “Isn’t it beautiful,” I whispered as I looked at the fiery orange sun beginning to kiss the water. Pinks, purples, and gorgeous yellows began to stream through the sky. Hardly anyone was out at the moment, most were probably eating their dinner. Me…I wanted to see this. There were very few things in life that gave you that feeling. The one where you felt like a small speck in the universe. This standing here on the beach watching the sun descend below the horizon…it was a thing of beauty.
“It is, but it doesn’t hold a candle to you,” Will whispered as he brushed a loose hair behind my ear before leaning in to kiss me. “Nothing in this world compares to you Leah.”
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