by Lily Ryan
“Why don’t you come have seat?” he pats his lap.
“I don’t think so.”
“Don’t tell me you’re too old to believe,” he says, raising an eyebrow at me.
Lucas, fights to hold back laughter, looking thoroughly amused. He nods his head in the other man’s direction and nudges me forward. Seeing I’m not moving, Lucas takes my hand and leads me over to Santa. With no way out, I sit on Santa’s lap.
“See, this isn’t so bad is it?” Santa asks.
I make the mistake of looking around at the faces watching me. Lucas’s cousins wear amused smiles, whispering to each other.
“No, it’s not bad.” I shake my head unable to contain a slight giggle.
“Are you having a nice time?”
“Yes.”
“Everyone making you feel comfortable?”
“Very much so.”
“Wonderful. Now, I think I have something in here for you.”
I cover my beat red face with my hands feeling ridiculous, as Santa once again reaches into his sack. I try to ignore the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment.
“Ah. Here it is.”
I take a deep breath before looking down at the small black velvet box in Santa’s hand. I turn to Lucas and search his eyes. His lips are pressed into a thin line, yet his eyes glow. I take the box into my trembling hands.
With my eyes fixed on Lucas, I open it slowly. I take a deep breath before dropping my eyes and breaking the connection with Lucas, to see what treasure the box holds. Tears fill my eyes as the sparkling light makes the diamond ring in my hands twinkle.
Lucas steps forward. He reaches for my hand and bends down on one knee, “Olivia,” his voice cracks, “Will you marry me?”
I’m going to die. Right here. Right now. I’m going to die of happiness. I’m caught up in the moment, in the excitement and the warmth of his family. Tears trickle from my eyes as I leap out of Santa’s lap and throw my arms around Lucas’s neck. I hold him tight.
“Yes!” I say, kissing him firmly on the lips. “Yes, I will marry you!”
Lucas stands, helping me to my feet. He holds me tight and swings me in his arms. My body slides down against his until my feet are back on the ground. He strokes my hair and kisses me passionately, making me forget for the moment that anyone else exists.
Chapter 38
Lucas
My aunt and cousins surround Olivia trying to get a glimpse of the ring. She’s glowing. I know if I leave her alone for a few minutes right now, my absence will barely register.
I listen to them ooh and ahh as I sneak out of the room unnoticed. I enter the kitchen prepared for my mother’s disapproval. Disapproval will be welcome. I expect her to go off on a tirade.
I knew she wouldn’t be happy I brought a guest, as she’s been very possessive of me since the divorce. I also knew she’d be stunned by the engagement and hoped I could curtail her anger.
When I walked into the jewelry store in the morning I planned on picking up a bracelet or earrings. As I looked for something to catch my eye, I found myself drawn to the ring. The vibrancy in the diamond reminds me of the liveliness in Olivia’s brown eyes. I couldn’t resist.
My mother stands at the kitchen sink scrubbing a burnt pot. I place my hands on her shoulders and kiss her on top of her head.
“You know you’ll always be the most important woman in my life, don’t you?”
“If that were true you might have given me warning before dropping your little bombshell.”
I shut the water off and turn her to face me, “I’m sorry.”
“You will be.” Her eyes look fierce.
I pick up a walnut and a nut cracker from the bowl on the counter, and break open the shell. “I love her.”
My mother glares at me. “She’s going to break your heart.”
I lean against the counter, “Why? Because we haven’t dated for five or ten years? Because those relationships always work out?”
She shakes her head. “She’s just like Stacy. I don’t understand why you can’t see that.”
“Because she works in a medical office?”
“That’s right. She’s looking to find herself a rich doctor.”
“Mom, come on. Stacy was the exception, not the rule. Plenty of women worked for Dad, young and old. And Stacy didn’t even work for him.”
“And who is to say for sure that nothing happened before Stacy? Can you?”
“No. But can you be sure he slept with them all?”
“I’m telling you, Lucas. She’s a little gold digger. Nothing more.”
“If that were true she wouldn’t be with me. I don’t make that kind of money.”
“Exactly. And once she reels in a bigger fish, she’ll leave you like yesterday’s trash.”
“I don’t think she’s going to reel in this fish.”
“What makes you so certain?”
“She works for Dad.”
My mother’s eyes blaze. I regret telling her, but it’s better out in the open. She turns from me, back to the burnt pot, signaling the end of the conversation.
I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her head. “You’ll never think anyone is good enough for me. It’s part of the mother/ son thing.”
“I don’t want to see you hurt again.”
“I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’d rather take the chance of having my heart broke again, than live without her. She brought color back into my life and made me see I wasn’t living. I was existing. Now I feel again. I feel alive, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her because she’s already a part of me. A part I never want to be without.”
“That’s your prerogative. But don’t ask for my blessing. I won’t give it.”
“I’m sorry to hear that because I am going to marry her. And I’d love for you to be part of our life together.”
I turn to leave, but hesitate a moment, hopeful my mother might have a change of heart. She continues to scrub the pot, as if getting the black off the pot will change the situation at hand. I walk out of the room, leaving my mother to stew, believing in time she’ll come around.
*
It’s midnight when the festivities at Aunt Rose’s comes to an end. We say our goodbyes and head home. I watch Olivia nestle against the soft leather of the passenger seat of my car. She looks happy. That’s all I want. To make her happy. I take her hand in mine and give it a squeeze.
“Your family is amazing,” she gushes.
“They are pretty special. But you know, they’re going to be your family soon, too.”
“Lucas?” I hear the question in her voice.
“Oh, no you don’t. You said ‘yes.’ I have witnesses.”
She giggles. “Are we rushing into this?”
“I don’t need to wait a year or two to know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re already woven so completely into my soul. I’m not whole without you.”
She smiles. And I can’t help but notice the glow on her face. Being with her is easy. Every minute doesn’t have to be filled with mindless chatter. It’s one of the many things that make our relationship special. The warmth of the silence between us speaks volumes.
Olivia brushes her hand over mine, sending waves of pleasure through my body. No one else, not even Stacy, ever affected me like this. Just this simple touch has my cock twitching in my pants.
I press down on the accelerator in a rush to get her home and into bed so we can have a private celebration. Knowing how close I am to both of those things, my desire for her grows, until it’s painful.
There was a small part of me that worried she’d say ‘no’ when I asked her to marry me. It’s true, we hadn’t been seeing each other long, but I know she’s the one. If not, I would’ve lost interest long ago. But she keeps me more intrigued each day.
And the fact that she didn’t walk out on me Friday, means somewhere deep inside, she has to think the same about me. Because anyone else in their rig
ht mind would’ve left without a second thought.
It isn’t until we’re in Olivia’s apartment that I notice the tinge of sadness clouding her eyes. “What’s wrong?” I ask, gathering her in my arms. I want this night to be perfect, so if there’s anything I can do, some way to fix whatever’s saddening her, I’ll do it.
Olivia hesitates a moment, biting her bottom lip. I’m nervous because she’s stalling. She doesn’t want to tell me. “I can’t make it better if you don’t tell me.” I push, but not too hard. I don’t want to ruin the magic of the evening. “Just spit it out.”
“I wish she didn’t hate me.”
My mother. I relax. I worried Olivia changed her mind. That she’d say she didn’t want to embarrass me in front of my family, and no, she doesn’t really want to marry me.
“She’ll come around.”
I hold Olivia’s chin and kiss her. My tongue brushes up against hers, gently, twirling around her mouth, cradling her face in my hands. I want to communicate how precious she it to me.
“What makes you so sure?” she asks, pulling away just enough to meet my eyes.
“Mmm,” I moan as I slide my hands under her dress and up her toned thighs. I hook my fingers into her panties and shimmy them off, lowering my body along with them, until I’m on the ground kneeling in front of her. “Family means the world to her. She’ll adore the mother of her grandchildren.”
“Grandchildren?” Olivia’s eyes open wide. Fear colors her voice.
I need to get her mind off my mother, off children, and back on me. I know I can start by getting her out of her clothes.
“Take off your dress.”
She looks down at me, her eyes still full of apprehension, but she pulls the dress over her head.
“Tonight I want to taste you.”
She shakes her head, her eyes fill with outright terror. “No, don’t.”
I move my hands up and down her legs, hoping to calm and relax her. “No, you don’t want me to? Or are you afraid?”
“I’m afraid. No one’s ever …” Her eyes shift away from mine as she nibbles on her bottom lip.
“I’m just going to kiss you. That’s all. Kiss you here.” I lift her foot and bring it to my mouth. “And here,” I reach for her hand and move my lips and tongue over her palm. “Kiss you everywhere. And while I’m kissing you, I want you to imagine what it’ll be like when you’re my wife.” She breathes hard. “I want you to think about all the things you want me to do to your body. Especially the ones you’re too shy to say out loud.”
I reach my hands around, and massage the globes of her ass. “Close your eyes and feel me touch you. Don’t think about anything else.” I circle my tongue on the area inside her leg just above her knee.
She sucks in her breath.
“That’s right baby. Relax.” I pull her down to the floor so that she’s lying on her back as I continue using my mouth to caress her leg. Up to the top of her thigh. Her fingers wind tight in my hair, as my tongue touches her clit.
I lick her and flick my tongue over her bundle of nerves. Olivia pulls on my hair as she moans softly every now and then. Her legs drop and spread further apart as my tongue strokes her more aggressively.
I lick my way from her clit to her opening and penetrate her with my tongue. Extending it as deep as I can, I swirl it around inside her, using my fingers to tap on her clit.
Olivia’s pussy squirms under my mouth, pressing against me, her moans growing louder until her hands fling out to her sides, and she screams my name.
Chapter 39
Olivia
We lay on the floor, trying to catch our breath. Every time he touches me is a new experience. Like we’re touring the sexual world together, and each touch leads us to a new city.
“That do anything for you?” he teases, tapping my nose with the tip of his finger.
“Very funny. Were you serious before?”
“About acting out your wildest fantasies? Absolutely.”
“About kids.”
Lucas pulls me close and kisses the top of my head. “I was. I want a bunch of kids running around our house.”
I never thought much about kids. I assumed I’d have children sometime in the future, but now that future seems a lot closer.
“Children frighten me. They’re so little. They can’t speak. All they do is cry and shit, and they don’t like me much.”
He laughs. “They’re really not that scary, and I’ll be involved. I won’t leave all the diapers and sleepless nights to you. Besides by the time we get to the fourth or fifth, you’ll have the hang of it.”
His mouth covers mine. I don’t pull away to argue, but as his lips travel from my mouth down to my breast, I can’t hold back anymore.
“Don’t you think four or five is excessive?”
His teeth clasp around my nipple while his tongue flicks back and forth over it. Lucas’s eyes hold mine the entire time, making me almost forget what we’re talking about.
“I love kids. And, I can’t wait to get started.” He reaches an arm around the small of my back, places the other on my flat stomach, and circles his palm on it.
I like the feeling, and the excitement in his eyes as he speaks about us growing as a family. That’s what we’re going to be. Our very own family. The idea of a baby inside me makes me want him all over again.
“I think we should start working on it right now.”
“You’re joking right?” While excited and enthralled, I’m terrified. My heart races to a furious beat.
“Not at all.”
No. We can’t. I got caught up in the moment flirting with the fantasy. Lucas gets to his feet, extends a hand to help me up and leads me over to the bed. I need to be upfront and clear. No babies. Not yet.
“I know the old saying, practice makes perfect, but until our wedding night, you keep it wrapped. Got it?”
He rolls his eyes playfully. “Got it.”
*
Lucas lies on his side next to me, resting his head on his hand, his eyes bright and shining with a goofy grin on his face. He brushes a stray hair from my face. “You know, you are incredibly sexy.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m lucky to have found you. You made me the happiest man on the earth.”
“Isn’t that what Lou Gehrig said in his famous speech?”
“Making fun of my lack of creativity?”
“Never.”
Lucas closes his eyes and lies flat on his back. “I wish you were pregnant right now.”
“You’re serious?”
He smiles. “I can’t wait to come home from work to find you cooking and chasing after little ones, complaining that they’re driving you crazy.”
“You mean after I get home from work, too, right?”
“You’re not going to work once we have kids.”
Holding the sheet over me like a shield, I sit up. “This is really about your father isn’t it?”
Lucas stares at me a moment too long. It’s that slight hesitation that gives him away. “No.”
“We’re engaged. I agreed to love and cherish you for the rest of my life. Don’t lie to me about this.”
“I grew up with my mother home. Is it so wrong to want that for my own children?”
I want to ask him how that worked out for her, but clasp my mouth shut. Tonight’s supposed to be memorable. I don’t want to remember a knock-down-drag-out-fight. And I know his mother isn’t happy with the surprise engagement. She probably played on his weakness, putting doubts about me in his head.
Only time will help Lucas. Trust is fragile and delicate, and I’ll do all I can to grow it, rather than break it. I glance at my engagement ring. It’s been the greatest evening of my life. Time will heal, and it will reveal. I can make promises until my heart stops beating, but only time will prove them true.
“Fine.” I answer sliding back down and nestling against my future husband. We’ll argue about it when there’s something to argue about. Right
now it’s all just make believe. But somewhere deep inside me, I hear a niggling voice in my heart tell me that it isn’t at all fine. And pretending it is will blow it up in my face.
I close my eyes taking comfort in Lucas’s arms around me, telling myself I have the rest of my life to convince him otherwise.
Chapter 40
Lucas
If I let the subject drop for now, she’ll be more receptive to it later. Olivia thinks it’s because I don’t trust her with my father. It isn’t. At least not completely. I’m scared. Scared to death of losing her and falling into an abyss once again.
I made it out of the abyss the first time. I clawed my way to the top and poked my head out of the ground from time to time, but there’s something welcoming and comforting in that darkness.
Only after meeting Olivia did I stand to my full height, dust myself off, and step away from the hole I’d been hiding in. I can’t do that again. I don’t want to go through the effort.
Chapter 41
Olivia
We arrive at the tall Bay Ridge apartment building at dusk Christmas Day. On the ride up the elevator, I twist the engagement ring off my finger and tuck it safely in my pocket. I feel Lucas’s eyes on me and know I owe him an explanation.
“I’d like them to get to know you a little before we spring it on them.”
“Oh.” I hear the disappointment in his voice. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this would be a problem.”
“It’s not.” I’m quick to answer, “And I don’t mean I won’t tell them tonight, I just mean not right out of the gate.”
“Got you.”
The elevator doors open. With a deep breath, I take Lucas’s hand and lead him to the apartment. I don’t bother knocking. I turn the knob and let us in.
The apartment, while much smaller than Aunt Rose’s beautiful home, is just as festive. The tree has been decorated with all of the ornaments Ava and I made and collected through the years. Boughs hang draped across the walls, and holiday music boxes are spread about. Only the burning fire is missing from the scene.