by Tony Teora
Ace wanted to keep it away from Jimbo and Kiya. He walked to the engine section of the ship and found some spare fuel rods that had special high-voltage capacitors. They held massive amounts of electrical charge. Ace pulled an emergency wire and attached it to one end of a capacitor, using some nearby rubber gloves. He saw the DANGER — HIGH VOLTAGE warning sign and was careful not to short circuit himself.
He pulled an unused emergency throw switch to the OFF position and then carefully, but quickly, connected that wire to the Switch A contact. He set up a loose, metallic floor panel on top of a non-conducting plastic floorboard, away from Jimbo and Kiya, as that would close the death circuit and he didn’t want to fry his friends. Ace connected a wire to the metal floor panel and then connected the wire’s other end to the second contact on the capacitor.
Ace planned to lure the robot onto the metal plate, throw him the wrench and pull the switch. As this was a one-time shot. He had to make sure the robot was both on the metal floor panel and also had a hold of the wrench at the same time. Once Ace pulled the throw switch to ON, it would theoretically result in one well-cooked robot. Or so Ace told himself.
The robot was now pulling out sections of plasmoglazic glass and was about to enter the front section. Ace stood back and waited. The robot walked through the opened window and looked at the room. Ace held his wired-up wrench ready for battle.
“Come on, mother fucker, you want a piece of me? Come get me, asshole.”
The robot walked slowly and was about to step onto the metal plate, but froze with his foot in midair. It looked around at the capacitor and then at Ace. It pulled its foot back, placing it an inch or so away from the plate. It stopped walking, moved back, and walked around the loose metal floor plate. It then proceeded directly toward Ace.
Fuck! thought Ace. The robot had figured out his plan.
As the robot approached, Ace slammed the metal wrench at the robot. The robot easily grabbed the wrench from Ace’s hands. Ace was quicker than the robot and pulled out the second wire from underneath the loose floor panel. He stuck the frayed metal cable into an opening under the armpit of the robot and jammed it in tight. The robot slammed Ace to the ground. Ace felt a few ribs cracking, but he crawled over to the capacitor and pulled the switch up to the ON position, completing the circuit, a blast of energy popping the robot with a crackle. Smoke exited holes near where ears would be in a human. It froze and then started toward Ace and fell to the ground like a rock, but it was falling down on Ace!
Ace quickly pulled the lever to OFF so that he wouldn’t get electrocuted, too. The robot fell on Ace, pressing his face on the floor. Mr. Big Robot was a good six hundred pounds. Near the front of the Beta-Ray, Ace heard more sounds. Oh God, I can’t take another robot!
A body approached. Someone stuck his head in and spoke: “Hey, Ace man, you got everything under control in here or do Yogi and I need to start shooting at something? Yogi told me you might need some help with landing shuttle.”
Landing? Ace wanted to smile, but was lying next to a robot that stunk like sardines and burnt circuit boards. “Ivan, I’m really glad to see you. Can you please help move this stinking robot off of me?”
“As long as you don’t ask me to wrestle it. Tired of fighting these damn robots, can’t wait to get off of this hell hole.”
Ace looked at Ivan’s bloody nose. “Me too, buddy.”
I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man to the thoughtless approval of the masses.
— Johannes Kepler
Civilization exists precisely so that there may be no masses but rather men alert enough never to constitute masses.
—Jimbos Bernanos
23
_________
GEN-6 — Blown to Bits!
Karr and the crew on the deck all cheered. Word got back from Ace that the thermonuclear bomb had detonated within two kilometers of the center of GEN-6’s underground base. On the holo-screen were satellite images of GEN-6 city melting in a fury of flames. The factory—or alien-building facility, or whatever it was—was now ablaze.
Karr spoke to comm officer Brassfield. “Lieutenant, please patch me into Major Archer.”
“Yes, sir, but with the nuclear EMP, I’ll need to connect to SATCOM-2 and use high-gain. Please give me a second here, sir … ah, I think I got it … yes, we have a connection. I have a call in to the Major’s comm.”
“Thank you, Lieutenant.” Karr switched over to the secure channel and saw a green light. The Major had picked up. “Major, I’m sorry to hear about Colonel Manpower.”
“He saved the nuke, sir, and plowed a trail so that we could get my men into the compound. Wish I could have done something.”
“You did, Major. We see the readings that the nuke went off. Are you guys okay out there?”
“We’re now about thirty kilometers out, Captain, but there’s one hell of a firestorm in the sky. Looks like we lit it up. Radiation levels are getting up, too, but the team already took some RADx pills. Should be fine. Most of the team, myself included, would like to get off this piece of toast … but I still don’t feel like I’m ready to light a cigar. I don’t feel right ’bout this.”
“Right about what, Major? You guys wiped out GEN-6 and got the hostages back. People died and that sucks, but you know how important this mission is to our home. You did read the briefing I sent you?”
“I did, sir, but this one really bites it. We lost Colonel Manpower in the ground fight. And we lost Captain Vilante and the Patton-2. Looks like Vilante bought it near the edge of the city. Their shuttle exploded near a swarm of robots. Lasers got it. They were trying to help some of our men that also bought it. The robots blocked us from entering a cavern that intel said had an underground factory.”
“That’s horrible. He saved our skins up here, Archer.”
“I know, Captain, I feel the same way. But I got other things to worry about now. Hiro was able to get our tin man down in that area. We had Mr. Sexy enter some kind of elevator system. The thing went down a good thirty floors or so.”
“Mr. Sexy?”
“Oh, it’s got some kind of sex-gaming chips controlling it, says all kinds of crazy stuff, but at least it’s doing its job.”
“That’s good,” said Karr, with eyebrows up.
“I’d hoped that with the explosion our spy would have shut off, you know, get melted with the explosion. But he didn’t—he’s connected to some internal network and still intermittently broadcasting. And that means there’s shit in the basement, so to speak, sir. Probably some robots and other stuff. But I’m not sure how or why. Maybe some kind of shield. They’ll probably just rebuild this place if we don’t get below and blow that up, too. I think we need to take another nuke down there.”
“Archer, that area’s too hot for the robots. Those robots circuits wouldn’t last ten seconds above ground and neither will your team. We discovered those robots are part biological.”
“Probably partially made out of sardines,” said Ace, thinking of the smell of burnt Wok Robots.
“Sardines?”
“Oh, nothing sir, just that they stink like rotten fish when burnt.”
“Oh. Well, here are your orders: I want you to record everything our robot transmits, but I want you to ship your men back here within the next six hours. We’re leaving this planet. You’ve done a great job. Even if a few robots are alive down there, they’ll have one hell of a job to rebuild that base. We’ll let Earth Command decide what to do. Maybe they’ll send an Armada to check this out. But I seriously doubt they’ll do much building above ground … hold on a sec, Major.” Karr looked over toward his XO Lightfoot. “What do you think, XO?”
Lightfoot scratched his graying beard. “Well, you are correct that the radiation will kill them. Their robot battery juice and neural sensors are mostly biological, so they’ll die if they go above ground—that’s for sure.”
Karr nodded. “Major, I don’t think I’m missing anything, do you?
”
“No, I don’t think so, sir, but I do want Hiro to search around the basement via remote while we move out, get some intel—just to be safe. Plus, I filled old tin man with a few tricks that I’d rather not discuss in case our comm line’s been cracked. We can evaluate the intel at Earth Command when we get back.”
“You got it, Major. I’ll give you three hours, then I want your men on their way back.” Another trick? Colonel Archer should have been a magician. No wonder he was so good at poker, but in this circumstance, the Major was being a little too paranoid. Or was he?
“Yes, sir,” replied Archer. “Much appreciated. Maybe a few non-exploded levels don’t mean anything, but just in case, I’m going to have Hiro Tanaka spend a little more time in the Genki Ecchi sex suit. Major out.”
***
Hiro was still in his scuba-style outfit. It had sensors all over the rubbery skin. The goggles had infra-red and magnifiers to zoom in on objects of interest. Hiro walked on the rotating, computerized treadmill, interfacing with the robot. He looked like he was walking in circles, going nowhere—but in his remote goggles, he was in a whole new world. When he walked, the robot, miles away in the alien city, also walked. When he stopped walking, the robot stopped walking. If the robot stepped on a nail, Hiro would feel pressure in his foot sensor.
Hiro worked privately in his small, personal tent, connected to the robot via an encrypted channel. He was lucky to find an open comm relay to re-transmit the robot signals. A wireless connection should have been virtually impossible that far below the ground, and indeed, sometimes the link cut-out, but the robot would search for a new one.
Major Archer walked into the tent and watched Hiro walk on the treadmill. It looked like he was sleepwalking. He yelled, “Lieutenant, may I have a second?”
Hiro felt immersed in the robot Boss, walking down a long, dark corridor. In the distance, he could see the end of the corridor and robots lined up, walking into a chamber. He stopped about fifty yards away and rested behind a metal tank covered in what appeared to be pressure dials. He then took off his goggles and left the body of the robot Boss.
“Sorry, Major, I was online with the robot.”
“Where is the damn robot? What’s going on down there?”
“I’m not sure, Major, but it looks like there’s a bunch of robots all lined up to go into some room. Seems important, so I’m on my way there.”
“Did you see any reactors down there?”
“I did.”
“See if you can get him near one and plug into their power system. See if you can get him into their main core. I think we can find a way to shut down the base if we can get into their core. The captain wants us out in three hours, so you don’t have much time. If we don’t find it by then, we’ll call it quits.”
“Sir, I don’t think I can walk in this suit for three hours. I’ll need some rest.”
“If you push yourself, you can do it.”
“Sir, I ate some bad rations. I got stomach problems and I’m tired.”
Ace laughed. “Look, you might be tired and might need to take a shit in your pants, but you’re gonna do this or I’ll leave you here on the planet. I’m in charge of this operation, you got that?”
Hiro didn’t like the idea of shitting his pants. but knew he didn’t have much of a choice. “Yes. sir, I’ll see if I can get the job done soon … without shitting my pants.”
“Good, you’ll smell better that way. Stop by to give me a status summary once your three-hour shift is done.”
“Will do, sir.”
***
Hiro, who was now back as Mr. Boss, got lost and spent a good two-and-a-half hours walking through maintenance tunnels in a maze that crisscrossed. He eventually got out and ended up at a large, silver metallic building and strolled toward a line of robots. Approaching, he received a message from a robot guard standing by. It was automatically translated. “Master One, please proceed ahead of the line. Darva is preparing all for homeland exchange.”
Hiro tried to answer, but before he could, the Genki Ecchi auto-programmed robot answered for him in a sexy voice. “Oh baby, momma’s home and waiting. I’m looking forward to an exchange of love. I’m on my way, sweetie.”
The other robot looked like it was startled, but only replied, “Yes, Master One, please go on your way. Darva is waiting.”
Hiro was glad no one was watching. He entered a round hall. At the edges were doorways. In the center was another elevator with robot guards, so it had to be an important area, since it was being protected.
Hiro moved up to the front of one of the guards. A signal from the Boss was transmitted to a guard, indicating his presence. Hiro saw it on a console. The guard immediately nodded and replied. “Master, please enter command, Darva is waiting.”
Hiro was quick this time and cut off the Genki Ecchi chip. He spoke: “Confirmed, will enter to meet Darva, first need to check food processing systems. Send location and authorization.”
“Yes, Master, enter Tube 607, authorization sent.” A door in front of Hiro opened. Hiro entered and the door closed. The elevator went down two floors. The door opened and in front were six-foot-high, stainless steel drums. Pipes were connected like some petroleum processing plant. Hiro thought it looked like a microbrewery he’d seen one once in San Diego, but this was a microbrewery on steroids. There was enough food to feed the robots underground for years.
Walking ahead, he felt the ground shaking. The nuclear bomb from above must have triggered some aftershocks. That was normal, as thermonuclear bombs had done this on Earth. It’s too bad it didn’t trigger a massive earthquake, or a Kabbalah quake, thought Hiro, because then he could tell the Major and get out of the suit. Ever since the Major mentioned shitting in his pants, his stomach started to bother him. Hiro wasn’t sure if it was just hunger or a bowel movement coming.
In his earpiece, Hiro heard a broadcast: “Major Archer is requesting that everyone start packing in five minutes and get ready to leave Kabbalah. We’re shipping out in twenty minutes.”
That’s great news, thought Hiro as he continued his last five minutes down the pipe-filled section. Green soup appeared to be moving inside. An alarm came though the robot’s comm. It said: “Vessel Islaa ready. Preparations complete. Depart at Darva time Uloph 8.”
Hiro tried to read the tin-man’s timer chip and worked out that the ship would be departing in about two Earth minutes. But Hiro couldn’t access information on Vessel Islaa. On the other hand, he did access a record on Vessel Darva, which was the alien vessel that colonized Kabbalah. As Hiro read on, his heart stopped. He needed to contact the Major, and now!
***
Karr was happy to see that Major Mahan was on the bridge. He hated himself for risking the ship for her, but Mahan was back alive and healthy, and wearing tight military clothes. She turned and Karr saw her shapely body, but repressed any sexual thoughts to focus on what his astrogator was saying.
“Sir, we got some strange quakes on Kabbalah.”
“I know, and that’s why we’re getting Archer and his team back. He’s in a safe zone, correct?”
“Yes,” replied the astrogator. “But that’s not what I’m worried about. I think something’s going on with the base.”
Standing nearby, Professor Cheryl Mendez stared at a screen of the planet below and shook her head. “This is not good.”
“What’s not good?” asked Karr. “Are we having some problems with the planet?”
Cheryl pointed to the area where the city used to be. “We getting a swarm of quakes localized from where we exploded the thermonuclear device.”
“That’s pretty normal, isn’t it? We shook up the fault lines.”
“That’s what I thought at first, but if you look at the areas of the quakes and map them out, something doesn’t look right. Take a look at the mapping.” Cheryl touched a few buttons and a red, dotted line made a trace.
Karr looked at the traced line and thought there had to be a mi
stake. “Cheryl, the quake lines look like they’re cutting out a perfect circle at the center of the city. Is it possible the explosion created a circular fault line?”
“I’m not sure, Captain, but on Earth, bombs just trigger natural fault lines. This does not look natural.”
“Any ideas? Is an underground base imploding?”
“It could be, but it appears there are prepositioned explosions, as if someone is trying to open up the ground below.”
“For what purpose?”
Mahan interrupted. “Ivan confirmed that there’s a small factory below the base. Maybe they’re shedding their skin so to speak, opening up a city below the base?”
“In any case, we need to get out of here. Tell Major Archer and his men to get off the planet, and pronto!”
“Will do, sir,” said Mahan, looking at Karr longer than professional.
Karr felt Mahan’s eyes digging into his heart. Once things settled, he knew who he was going to spend time with. That was, assuming they all got out alive.
***
Three hours were up and Major Archer and his men quickly assembled into the two shuttles, as per Karr’s orders. Archer stood in the small control booth with the four-man piloting crew. His shuttle had just taken off when he heard his personal buzzer go off. “Archer here.”
“Sir, this is Private First Class Austin. I have a Lieutenant Hiro Tanaka. He’s been pushing to meet and talk, but I didn’t want to bother you until we lifted off. He wants to enter now, says he’s got some intel that can’t wait until we arrive on the Aurora.”
“Hiro’s my robot man. Send him in.”
“Yes, sir.”
A door opened and Hiro rushed in. He looked frazzled. “Sir, I gotta tell ya, I think we found something down below.”
“What did you find down below, Lieutenant, that can’t wait another thirty minutes for us to arrive on the Aurora?”