“Come here tough guy.” She reached out to me and I willingly walked into her embrace dripping with sweat and all; she still wanted me.
With her arms tightly hanging around my neck, she kissed me senseless. When she pulled back, she was smiling like a wild puma.
“I’m proud of you, Ocean. I get your hurting and I know it was hard for you, but you got through it. For that, I’m proud of you daddy.”
I leaned in and kissed her neck, feeling the hard rhythm of her pulse on my lips. “Thank you baby." I ran my hand up her left arm, meeting the wrist brace she never wore and frowned at her. “What’s up with the brace you never wear it?”
Her smile dimmed a little, but she still held it. “Nothing. I’m just tired of dropping shit all the time. I’m looking past my handicap and sucking up my pride but if you make a big deal out of it, it’s coming off and I’m never wearing it again.”
I hugged her as tight as her belly full of babies would allow.
“You want to talk about it?” She looked up at me, hopeful.
I didn’t want to talk about it. It was done, over, and I was-okay.
“Nothing to talk about baby. It went as good as I’d imagined it would." I said with a bitter laugh, but I didn’t feel as bitter as I sounded.
“I’m here Ocean if you want to talk.”
“I know. I’m good.”
"Okay well now that’s out of the way. If you thought you could sneak around here without me noticing, you were wrong buddy.”
I got several pokes to my chest and laughed at each one. “I never put it past you baby. I promise.”
Her eyes flashed with mischief. “Not to start anything, but the guys were talking shit about how soft you’re getting in the cage. I think you should prove them wrong.” I got a wink from her as her small hand grabbed my crotch.
I hissed at her grip as she licked and kissed at my collarbone. “Since when did you become so blood thirsty?” I palmed her ass in her tight yoga pants, bringing her in closer.
Four more months Ocean. Only four more!
“I can’t help that I’ve become addicted to watching my lion throw down in the cages.”
"You sure that’s all you like to see me throw down baby?”
Before she could answer me, I grabbed a handful of her silky hair crushing her lips to mine.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Lawrence
“Lawrence! Open the damn door, carajo! We need to leave soon. Ahora! Now!”
I heaved as another wave of nausea ripped out of my throat spilling breakfast, last night’s dinner, and something I ate in the second grade into the toilet in front of me.
Shit!
I was so nervous and making myself sick. “Papi, open the door! Come on! Let me help you!”
I wiped at my mouth with the back of my hand falling back from the toilet. On my hands and knees, I crawled to the door and slapping the lock open in one drunken motion.
The door flies open slamming into my shoulder and Blue steps in. Her eyes narrow at me and I feel like a little fucking kid about to get the worst ass beating of the century for not opening the damn door soon enough.
With a roll of her eyes she grabs a hand towel, runs the warm water and soaks it. Shutting off the water, she gets down on her knees and grabbing my chin roughly in her hand as she wipes the sweat off my forehead and face; wiping around my mouth as well.
I look at her face the entire time and I honestly can’t tell whether she’s pissed or just nervous herself. Whatever she was feeling, she hid it well. Finally she breaks our silence.
“It’s going to be okay. It’s just a meeting with the lawyer; it’s not like we’re getting her today, papi. Relax. Please.” She picks me up off the floor, striping me naked. “Take another shower and brush your teeth. We’ll be waiting for you, so hurry up.” A kiss on the chin and she was gone.
Love you too Blue.
҉҉҉҉
Blue and I-along with Ocean and Sunshine-sit in our lawyer’s, Attorney Toby Nelson’s office.
Today, we were going to find out what Sabrina’s rebuttal is, if she even has one. Two weeks ago, Social Services nearly ripped Scarlet out of my arms ready to place her in a foster home until this got sorted out, but my uncle was able to convince them that she would be best cared for by him.
He agreed to kick Sabrina out in order to strike the deal and without any feelings of remorse, he packed her shit up in front of everyone, followed her to her car, and told her to leave; just like that she was gone.
The door behind us opens and my chest tightens like a fifty pound weight is laying on it. Blue gives my hands a squeeze, but I can’t stop my heart from beating its salsa dance into my throat.
How the hell can she be so calm while I’m freaking the fuck out?
Ocean’s leg was bouncing up and down nervously. Sunshine was pulling on the end strands of her hair, a nervous habit of hers. Blue was the only calm soul in the room besides Toby Nelson, of course. She gives me a wink and I double blink at her, she smiles and shakes her head playfully.
Does she know something we don’t?
Toby, as he’s forced us all to call him, makes it around his desk with a genuine smile plastered on his nicely aged face.
Yeah I said it!
He takes a look at each of us and his smile widens. “You are all quite a serious bunch. Intense really. Relax; this is going to work out. Ocean, Lawrence, and lovely ladies relax; please you’re making me feel bad.”
Him feel bad? Fuck! I want the happy pills he’s popping!
Ocean responds first. “Hey Toby. Sorry, I think we’re all a bit of an intense bunch. We’re just nervous. Has she responded to you yet?”
The much older version of Hugh Jackman’s double rolls up his sleeves and gets comfy for the big speech; the one I feel coming and hating already.
He shifts his gaze to me and Blue, assuming he needs to be addressing the adopting parents to be.
Ha! Adopting parents to be…never thought I’d be referring to myself with that statement!
“Lawrence. Dulce. I spoke with Sabrina three days ago for a long period of time and again yesterday evening briefly. Both times she was clearly under the influence I could only assume, but I had to record her response and she is not willing to give Stormie up.”
Keep it together man! Keep it together! LAWRENCE KEEP IT THE FUCK TOGETHER!
I shift in my chair repeatedly as Toby looks me in the eye, sensing my control slipping. I was so focused on breathing evenly that I didn’t notice Sunshine standing next to me with her hand on my shoulder, kneading it with her fingertips.
Taking a glance, Ocean was sitting on the edge of his chair; elbows on his knees, wringing his hands together.
Fuck we need help! Mental help for us all!
“Where does this put us then?” Blue, my goddess in shining armor, is the only one keeping her shit together responds.
“Well…Dulce, the state takes these cases seriously and all of your backgrounds are being delved into. I, myself, have explored your pasts and histories to prepare myself for any argument, but please be assured none have aroused; especially after her arrest this morning.”
I huffed out the air cramping up in my lungs. “She what?”
I knew she was messed up but getting arrested? SHIT!
“Yes. She is being held for prostitution and drug possession as we speak.”
Whoa. Scratch that! That one deserves a HOLY TOLEDO SHIT BATMAN!
Ocean stills before he speaks. “So that’s good then, right? If she’s proving she isn’t fit to care for Scarlett then we’ve got a chance, right?”
The excitement in his voice is something I’ve never heard before and I’ve known the bastard my entire life!
Toby cocks his head to the side.
Sunshine pipes in to clarify. “Scarlett is what we call Stormie. It’s sort of her nickname for us.”
“Oh.” is all Toby says to the name change. “Ocean, I can assure you that Sabrina will
no longer be considered a fit parent for Stormie unless she does a hell of a one eighty and even that takes years to do considering her condition and circumstances now. The state wants to start out with monitored scheduled visits with each of you and Stormie.”
“Who will be monitoring us?” I asked, not connecting the dots.
Toby’s eyes rested on Sunshine as he spoke next. “A family psychologist; the state is aware of the unfortunate…events surrounding Livie and Dulce and have some concerns. Also, the suicide attempt and the physical abuse are cautioning them to grant your adoption.”
Sunshine’s hand fell from my shoulder as she stepped away.
Looking at us collectively he added, “We will get Stormie. I have no doubt. It will just take some time.”
҉҉҉҉
Livie
We all walked to our vehicles in silence once the meeting was over. I climbed into Oceans Range, buckling my seatbelt in complete silence as he closed my door for me. The world was never going to let me forget what I did to myself and to those who loved me.
How could I have been so stupid?
Ocean started the truck but never put the gear in reverse. I could feel his eyes on my face, begging me to let him in; for me to talk to him, but I refused. There were just no words to explain.
He hasn’t asked me to talk yet and I’m glad. I don’t want to share, but then I think about when I asked him to talk to me after he visited his mother last and how I felt. He would just have to accept my silence for now because I was emotionally and physically drained.
“Baby, you want to talk?”
“No. Please don’t. Not yet.”
He leaned over to kiss my temple and quickly removed himself, reversing and pulling out onto the main road when I finally opened my eyes.
“Dinner baby?”
“Yeah.”
“Anything special you want to eat?”
“Nope. Anything’s fine; not really hungry.” I got one more worrisome side glance from him before he looked back to the road.
I surprised myself with that last statement too. I was never not-hungry lately!
I skipped dinner all together to find myself locked in my bathroom, sitting on the toilet in nothing but a towel. It barely covered my stomach and I wanted nothing more than to open the door, climb into bed and sleep. I couldn’t find the strength even to do those simple tasks.
I felt horrible for being part of the reason Law and Dulce were being looked at as unfit parents already. Yes, they were young and yes, they’ve been through a lot but dammit! They were good people! The best in my book!
Two soft knocks on the door startled me even though they were light.
“Yeah?” My voice came out shaky and high pitched.
“Baby, can I come in? I don’t want to talk about today. I just want to be with you.”
How can I say no to that?
Pushing my heavy body up I opened the door and when I did, my heart went bah-dump. Ocean gave me a boyish smile showing off his dimple; the one I discovered not that long ago during the best vacation ever.
“You ready for bed or you wanna hang out in the living room with boring ole me and the psycho love birds?”
“You, Ocean Grant Hawthorne, are definitely not boring. I can contest to that.”
I’m led to our bed after I take his hand where Ocean removes my towel and helps me up. I could easily do this all myself with some effort of course, but who am I to tell Ocean not to pamper me? He’ll only fuss at me until he gets his way.
Minutes later, he’s rubbing my entire body down with cocoa butter; paying extreme attention to the stretching skin tightly hugging my round stomach.
I can’t even remember what my body used to look like when I had abs, tight, firm sexy abs. I laugh at the distant memory.
“Sharing is caring baby.” He’s at my knees now and tickling the back of them where I’ve come to realize I’m extremely ticklish.
“Just trying to remember what I looked like when I had killer abs.”
He frowns, rolling his eyes at me. He hates when I talk like this and it makes me laugh again.
When he opens his mouth to say something, I hold my fingers against his lips. “You said you wouldn’t. Not unless it’s something I don’t know yet.”
He nods his head to agree and pokes out his lips to kiss my fingers.
“Ocean, can you just lie down with me until I fall asleep? I don’t want to kill the mood if Dulce and Law are in a good one right now.”
He frowns again, but climbs up the bed and removing his clothes while getting me situated under the cool covers. Spooning me, he drops an arm around my under belly and holds me tight.
“Good night baby. I love you.”
“Te amo.” I reply automatically as I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
҉҉҉҉
Lawrence
Not wanting to head straight home and to give Ocean and Sunshine some alone time, I head to the studio. I figured I would have tons of paperwork to shift through considering I hate doing paperwork during the week, but what I find on my desk makes me laugh. Sunshine is a damn control freak.
Everything is neat and in order highlighted and labeled with Sign-Here tabs. It takes me all of twenty minutes to sign and file invoices, along with checks that Sunshine had ready for me.
Damn woman is amazing.
Lord knows I hide from her on purpose during the week to avoid signing anything. I know she knows it too, but ignores the fact until the weekend; then she’s up my ass like a doc performing a prostate exam! HA!
“What’s so funny, papi?” Blue walks in, pulling her hair back into a bun.
Her face is flushed from cleaning up the place. It was clean before but she said she wanted to clean again so Sunshine won’t feel the need to do it again in the morning.
I sit back in my king’s chair; yes, I have a damn king’s chair in my office!
She walks over, plopping down on my lap and dropping an arm around my neck while laying her head on my shoulder.
I kiss the top of her head and just sit there for a while with her in my arms.
“You did great today, papi. I thought you were going to lose it and I know you almost did, but you didn’t.” She pats my chest like I’m a damn pet and I laugh.
“If you think I did great today. Then Blue, you weren’t’ paying attention. I was terrified and after I got the impression that this is going to be one hell of fight for Storm-Scarlett, I couldn’t breathe.” I shivered at the helplessness that swamped me as I sat in the lawyer’s office earlier.
“Shh…that’s nonsense. You don’t see it yet, but you’re changing too. I can see it in the way you walk, speak, and the way you love. Everything will work out, trust me.”
Okay…either my wife was sniffing cleaning supplies or she was battling some serious denial.
“Blue. I have no idea what kind of changes you’ve been noticing, but I won’t argue. I’m sure it will work out, but I can’t stop from being scared shitless. I’m used to having to fight tooth and nail for any thing that makes sense in my life. I can’t help it that I’m constantly thinking the worst.”
Her lips find my neck and she tenderly kisses me; her breath coming out hot and heavy.
“Blue?” I tighten my grip on her waist as she maneuvers her tight little body around so she’s sitting on my lap facing me, pressing our bodies together.
“You know papi, we’ve never had the chance to bless your office.” Her hands are under my shirt, gripping at my abs while she grinds on my lap.
Damn her tiny little manicured fingers!
I slip my hands under her tight t-shirt, flipping her bra up roughly to palm her perfect breasts in each hand. “You sure as hell know how to calm a man Blue.”
Her sultry laugh sends a wildfire of goose bumps over my skin. “Who said I was doing this for you, papi? Mami wants to play.”
Seconds after hearing that, we were on top of my desk and knocking shit over while fighting to get free of o
ur clothes. Teeth were smashing together, tongues were lapping, hands slipping from sweaty grips, and hearts racing.
This wasn’t our usual passionate fuck; it was something else, something stronger. With each frantic thrust I slammed into Dulce, she was absorbing all my anxiety, worries, fears, and anger.
Within minutes, my blind fury to fuck her unconscious turned into slower, longer, and deeper thrusts. I watched her face go from contained pain to extreme pleasure as my emotions surged through me.
“Asi papi, asi. Let it go. Make love to me.”
I swear. In the time we’ve been together, I’ve never witnessed Blue come so hard. I braced my palms on the desk underneath her to really look at her.
Her face, neck, chest, and stomach were coated with a thick sheen of sweat as she panted and convulsed underneath my body. Her muscles were going a million miles an hour, gripping and releasing my cock still pulsing and releasing inside of her. Neither the word nor the definition of love could define the power of emotion surging between us.
With a weak smile on her lips, she raised a trembling hand and rested it above my heart that was surprisingly calm.
“See, everything is going to work out.”
I picked her body up off the desk and made my way towards the showers. For the first time in months, I actually felt it in my heart and soul that everything-and I mean everything-was going to be okay.
҉҉҉҉
Livie
The past couple days have passed by in such a blur, I'm starting to lose track of time. Scarlett is rapidly starting to become a part of our little family circle with her every other day visits.
I can tell Ocean is trying to keep his distance, but he just can't help himself when she's around. At the sound of her cry, he grows impatient trying to figure out what she needed. When she was sleepy and needed to be put down for a nap, he would pester Law until he gave in and stopped playing with her to put her down for a nap.
It was cute and it was heartwarming to see him like this. That was the pretty to this situation. The ugly...well…I was having a hard time coping with. It consisted of the female social workers that accompanied Scarlett on her three-hour long visits with us.
Hawthornes Calm Manuscript Page 19