by Ginn Hale
Rafie frowned into the deep shadows of the woods again.
"I can go by myself," Kiram said. "You should be here for Alizadeh, in case he needs you."
Rafie studied Kiram closely. Kiram could see him weighing his desire to be near Alizadeh in case he or any of the other Bahiim were injured against his need to prevent Kiram's escape.
"I won't run away," Kiram assured him.
Rafie studied him for a moment. "I need to have your word."
Kiram sighed, nodding his resignation. As clever as it might be, he just couldn't bring himself to use Rafie's fear for Alizadeh for his own gain. And in any case where would he run away to?
"I swear on Mother's blood," Kiram said. "I'm just going to check in with Master Ignacio and then attend the tournament races. If you don't come for me after the races then I'll come back here, all right?"
"All right," Rafie agreed. He ruffled Kiram's hair lightly. "Be careful."
Kiram hurried back toward Zancoda. The moist wind tossed his hair into his face and sent shudders across the back of his neck. He pulled up the collar of his coat, wondering if it would rain again today and what would be done should a downpour foul the race course. The sky looked both pale and gloomy, white clouds diffusing the sunlight into an eerie glow.
As he passed the Laughing Dog he paused to look for signs of the night's disturbance. At first he saw nothing unusual. The small stone building and its plank stable stood just as they had two days before. Crows perched in the nearby trees.
Kiram bowed his head from the wind and began to walk again. Then he noticed a few black lines cracked through the flagstones just outside the stable. The stone seemed glassy in places and when Kiram stepped back he saw that the black cracks formed a perfect circle around him. A wave of fear washed through Kiram and he quickly stepped out of the circle.
As he did so he noticed a crumpled dark form at the corner of the stable and nearly called out in alarm. His sharp gasp brought the shadowy form suddenly up into the shape of a man. Kiram recognized Javier with relief but didn't feel any less surprised.
He had no idea what Javier was doing here or why he had been hunched like broken firewood against the stable wall. Javier whispered something but Kiram didn't hear the word over the wind. Then Javier rushed forward and pulled Kiram to him, clutching him desperately.
"You weren't at the inn and I thought they had taken you away," Javier whispered into Kiram's neck. His skin was like ice.
"We stayed with the Irabiim," Kiram said. For a moment he let himself relax into Javier's embrace. He had wanted to be held like this yesterday. And it had been this nearness that he had longed for when he woke this morning. But now, feeling himself melt into Javier's arms, he couldn't help but resent Javier's importance to him and how Javier had withheld this closeness all of yesterday.
Kiram pushed him back. Javier released him immediately, glancing up and down the street for any sign of onlookers. There was no one. Javier jammed his hands into his coat pockets and eyed Kiram with an uncertain expression.
"What are you doing here?" Kiram demanded.
"I couldn't sleep. I thought I would meet you at the inn and we could walk together to the city stables."
"So that you can ignore me once we're there?" Kiram had wanted to sound cold and controlled, but instead the words came out sounding so hurt that it embarrassed Kiram. A wave of disgust at his own weakness washed over him.
He turned, bowing his head before the wind, and stalked towards the city stable. Javier fell in beside him. Only a few vendors were out, loading carts with their wares for trade at the fair. The merchants paid little attention to either of them as they passed.
"I thought that if I didn't bother you, if I kept away, it would be easier for you to leave," Javier said quietly.
"Easier? Why are you here, now, if you want it to be so much easier for me?"
"Because I don't really want you to go. Can't you understand? I'm selfish. I don't want to be, but I can't help it. I want to keep you with me even though I know you should be somewhere safer." There was a long pause and Kiram wanted to look at Javier but he didn't trust himself. It was too easy to be won over by him and he wasn't yet willing to relinquish his feeling of righteous outrage.
"I'm not making a lot of sense right now, I know that," Javier said. "But I came here to tell you that I'm sorry."
Kiram sighed, finally meeting Javier's eyes. There he saw the other man's exhaustion and vulnerability. He had not changed his clothes or slept. Blue shadows filled the hollows of his eyes-eyes that hunted for some sign of Kiram's forgiveness. At that moment, he had Javier completely at his mercy.
"It's all right." He let his hand brush against Javier's. The tips of their fingers touched and then parted. "And just so you know, I don't intend to leave."
Javier smiled his familiar, slow smile.
"Not just because of you," Kiram said but Javier's pleased expression didn't change.
"Of course not. We both know how much you love Holy Father Habalan's classes."
Kiram just rolled his eyes.
"I promised Fedeles that I would help him, and I happen to enjoy a good number of my classes," Kiram said primly.
"Yes, you do so love riding and fencing instruction."
"I adore my mathematics and natural science classes."
"It's all right to just admit that you like me, you know," Javier said softly.
Kiram's breath caught in his chest, but he still managed to say, "Yes, I do."
They passed a row of bakeries. The smells of fresh bread perfumed the cold air.
"I have enough money to pay your tuition, easily," Javier said in a thoughtful tone. "But there's still the problem of your family's consent. If you were just a half a year older…"
Kiram shrugged. Nothing but time was going to change his status as a minor. "We'll figure something out."
As they continued to walk through the wind, Kiram's thoughts turned over possible ways to elude Rafie. Not for the first or last time he pondered fleeing to a foreign land. That was futile fantasy, and he knew it. Neither he nor Javier could leave Fedeles to the mercy of the man on the hill and his creeping shadow curse.
Another thought occurred to Kiram, suddenly. "You were at the Laughing Dog this morning. When that.thing struck. I think it might have been hunting you." Rafie had said that it had been searching. But what if it hadn't been seeking Alizadeh or any of the Bahiim, what if it had been after Javier?
"What thing?" Javier asked.
"Did you notice that scorched circle in the flagstones near the stable?"
Javier arched a black brow. "Is this a trick question?"
"What? No. No, it's not. There was a circle-"
"I know there was a circle," Javier cut him off. "I made it. I got so frustrated and I thought I wouldn't ever see you again and I lost my grip on the white hell. It was just for a moment."
"You." Kiram stared at Javier, remembering Rafie's grim expression and his fear. "You did that?"
"It was just some stone." Javier shrugged. "I didn't harm anyone. I wouldn't have."
"I know. That's not what I meant…The Bahiim all around the Irabiim camp felt it when the white hell opened. I think you scared them pretty badly."
"The white hell scares most people, or at least the ones with any common sense." Javier gave Kiram a teasing glance.
"Superstition is not common sense," Kiram went on before Javier could get in a retort. "And that's not my point, in any case. I just realized that they didn't recognize the white hell. They didn't know what it was."
"Why would they? The Haldiim don't have hells."
Kiram frowned at this. They didn't believe in hells, but certainly they would have their own understanding of Javier's power. Kiram had his own theory that it was some link to a shajdi. Calixto's diary had hinted at the same thing. But Kiram had hoped that a Bahiim like Alizadeh would recognize the white hell and provide an explanation for it. Maybe he did but hadn't had time to explain it to Rafie.
Maybe Rafie hadn't bothered to tell Kiram.
He wondered if he would ever be old enough that his uncle Rafie would take him into his confidences. Remembering last night's lecture he imagined it would be a long time coming.
"How's your arm?" Javier asked.
"Sore," Kiram admitted. "The stitches tore out yesterday."
"I thought that might have happened. You looked bad when you came out of the fencing circle."
"I didn't think you noticed," Kiram replied and a little of his old resentment briefly flared up.
"Of course I did. You were white as a sheet and glaring at me like it was my fault." Javier studied Kiram, and for just an instant he looked deeply sad and then he went on. "You ruined my concentration. I should have wiped the floor with my first opponent but my focus was a wreck. I kept trying to get a look at you without you seeing."
"You succeeded pretty well, I guess. Anyway you ripped through all of your fencing opponents."
"Not nearly as cleanly or as quickly as I should have." Javier smirked at Kiram. "You're going to ruin my reputation."
Kiram rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, next thing you know people will be saying that you read books."
"I do read books."
"Not nice books," Kiram replied. "They'll be saying you read stories about ducklings and apple blossoms. The Hellions will be saying that you've gone soft and have foresworn eating kittens entirely."
Javier smirked at this and then leaned close to Kiram and whispered, "Why would I touch any kind of pussy when I can have the taste of you in my mouth?"
Kiram felt heat roll through his entire body as he flushed. "I wasn't referring to ladies."
"Weren't you?"
Kiram hadn't meant the comment in that way, but now suddenly he realized that he should have. If he was going to stay with Javier, then he wanted some assurance of Javier's commitment to him in return.
A bellowed greeting from Elezar destroyed any possibility of such a conversation. Javier waved and both Elezar and Nestor hurried from the gates of the city stable to meet them.
"Cutting it close, aren't you? It's nearly first bell." Elezar grinned at Javier. "Why are you out wandering the streets when you should be inside, communing with that finicky horse of yours. I've got money on you, you know?"
"I've got money on me too." Javier didn't move away from Kiram but his stance shifted just slightly and Kiram could feel him distancing himself.
"For all three races?" Nestor asked.
"I expect to be in the top five for the short run. But Lunaluz won't take second to any other horse on either of the long runs. We could take those jumps in our sleep, we practiced them so many times." Javier spoke with such assurance that Kiram found himself feeling that he must be right.
The four of them joined the other students gathered inside the courtyard of the stable. Atreau and the other Hellions all informed Javier of the bets they'd placed on him. They slapped his back and issued absurd threats for his failure. Kiram watched them, saddened by the insight that this was the only way that these Cadeleonian men could offer him their affection.
Master Ignacio arrived and all of the students quickly arranged themselves in rows according to their years. As always Nestor stood beside Kiram.
"I noticed your uncle isn't here today," Nestor whispered hopefully.
"There was an incident at their lodgings and he had to stay in case someone needed a physician." Kiram was aware of how vague his reply was but Nestor accepted it without concern.
"So he hasn't changed his mind about taking you back?"
"Not that I know of."
They both went quiet as Master Ignacio walked through the ranks of second-year students, assigning them their duties for the races. Both Nestor and Kiram were in charge of keeping onlookers from crossing the track just before the finish. Kiram couldn't imagine anyone who would rush out past two lines of ropes at oncoming horses and he guessed the job was something just to keep them in one place and accounted for.
Once Master Ignacio was done with roll and assignments, the grooms brought the horses out from their stalls. Kiram stroked Firaj's muzzle. Firaj drew in a deep breath of Kiram's hair. He seemed excited to go for a ride, despite the wet chill of the morning.
By the time they reached the tournament grounds the sun had burned through most of the cloud cover. A fine mist hung in the air, catching the light and flaring briefly into rainbows.
Groundsmen had hauled bales of hay out across several fields and strung up rope barricades along side them. The hay bales formed a wide corridor, looping around stone walls, and circling out into a thinly wooded glade, marking the racecourses. Taking in the route firsthand, Kiram felt relieved that he wouldn't be competing but also worried. There were at least three walls and two wooden fences that the horses would need to clear in addition to whatever other obstacles lay out in the woods.
Kiram observed Javier, remembering how he had first seen him riding Lunaluz across the summer fields. He had looked so handsome and assured. This morning he still radiated beautiful strength, but shadows of exhaustion hollowed his eyes. The knowledge that Javier had spent the night searching for him instead of sleeping gnawed at Kiram.
Onlookers, both wealthy and poor, already gathered around. They thronged the rope barricades. Many of them had brought tall wooden stools, and some had hired men to wave banners displaying the colors of the riders they supported. Groups of girls clustered under bright parasols.
The only covered shelter was a dais near the starting line. Royal banners hung from the roof and armed guards stood at attention at the foot of the dais. Kiram thought he caught a glimpse of Prince Sevanyo sitting in the shadows, among his attendants and courtiers.
On the grounds, the black and yellow Helios' colors were well represented, as were the red and white stripes of the Fueres family. As the crowd grew the numbers and variety of banners and ribbons increased. Kiram had no idea who some of the more wild assortments represented. There seemed to be countless shades of blues, reds, yellows and violets and scattered throughout were simple flags displaying either Sagrada blue or Yillar green.
In the sea of color Kiram noticed the absence of the stark black and white of the Tornesal house. He wondered if it saddened Javier that no one flew his colors. Kiram searched the growing crowd for Fedeles but didn't see him anywhere. Then to Kiram's surprise he caught sight of two huge banners displaying the white field and black sun of the Tornesal crest. Lady Grunito stood between them, surrounded by attendants. She wore a magnificent golden fur coat that made her look almost like a bear. She waved at Javier and he waved back.
"I knew my mother would come through for him," Nestor said. "Elezar wouldn't stop nagging her about it all last night."
"I'm glad he did," Kiram said.
"It's not like she wasn't going to support Javier all along. She had the banners made months ago but she wouldn't let Elezar know that. She likes to tease him."
Kiram nodded. He could see how someone might want to give Elezar a hard time. He warmed to Lady Grunito, though he knew very little about her; she had cajoled his uncle on his behalf, no doubt to please Nestor-and she had brought banners for Javier knowing that Elezar would want them. For all her appearance of ferocity, Kiram imagined that she was in fact a very loving mother.
"By the way." Nestor reined his roan stallion a little closer to Firaj's side. "I had an idea about how to keep you at the academy last night during prayer service. It's a little crazy but I think it would work."
"Great. What is it?"
"You convert."
"Convert?" Kiram was so stunned by the suggestion that he initially thought he misunderstood Nestor.
"You convert and then request sanctuary at the academy chapel. There's no way your family could get you out of there."
"If I converted they wouldn't even want to. They'd never speak my name again. My mother would never forgive me."
"Is it really that serious an offense?" Nestor asked.
"How would your mo
ther feel about you becoming Haldiim?" Kiram asked back.
"Very poorly," Nestor admitted after a moment of thought. He sighed. "Well, I thought I'd at least mention it."
"Thanks for trying. Who knows, if it comes down to it." Kiram couldn't even bring himself to say that he would consider it.
He and Nestor took up their positions near the finish line. Now and then Kiram shouted at a curious boy who had ducked under the rope barricades. He guessed that he looked a little imposing atop Firaj because the boys fled away and nearby parents hauled their children back from the ropes as well. The judges took their positions beside the green and blue ribboned finish line. Far across the field the riders from both schools lined up at the start. They saluted Prince Sevanyo and then the starting bell rang out. The pounding thunder of horses' hooves was instantly drowned out by the roars and cheers of the crowd.
Kiram's entire body tensed as he watched Javier push to the front of the riders. He saw crops slash and the rain soaked earth slide from beneath the horses' hooves. His stomach felt like a clenched fist when an animal stumbled. Each time Javier neared a jump or rounded a tight turn Kiram looked away, scanning the rope barricades. He felt like a coward but he was terrified of seeing Javier fall.
Then suddenly the riders were storming past both him and Nestor. The cold air smelled of sweat and horses. Wet clumps of sod and mud flew through the air and spattered the hay barricades.
The first race had been the short run. Javier took second, just behind his cousin, Hierro Fueres. The Helio twins took third and fourth, though Kiram wasn't sure which twin had won which place.
Javier looked flushed and happy, grinning and leaning close to Lunaluz's neck. He stroked the stallion's jaw and whispered something in his ear. Lunaluz pranced back to the starting line with his head held high.
While the groundsmen adjusted the bales of hay for the next race, Kiram thought he heard someone calling his name. He searched the crowd and caught sight of Alizadeh approaching. Rafie was nowhere to be seen.
Alizadeh glanced to where the riders were still gathering at the starting line and then ducked under the barricade and quickly strode to where Kiram sat atop Firaj. Alizadeh offered Firaj a sniff of his hand and the gelding seemed won over, allowing Alizadeh to stroke his shoulder and neck.