Billy shakes his head and mutters something. Jared remains silent.
“Maybe we should tell one another if we are gonna go off on our own,” Andy presses on in a loud voice. “You could have been in trouble, and I told you it wasn’t smart to sit there by yourself.”
“Well . . . I’m sorry,” Eve says. “I won’t go with you again. I’ll stay here so you all know where I am.”
Billy puts his hand on Andy’s arm. “Don’t, bro,” he says. “It’s not worth getting into a fight.”
I turn off my camera and set it down. Andy opens his mouth then gawks at me. I shrug and hold my hands out in the WTF position. He closes his mouth and turns his attention to Faith, who is throwing wood on the fire.
“We got some fish,” Andy says, pointing at Billy with his thumb. “And more wood.” He dumps the armful he’s carrying on top of the already tall pile.
“And water,” Jared says, dumping the bag on the ground.
“Careful with that,” I almost shout.
“Sorry.” Jared doesn’t sound it.
“I could use a drink,” I say, staring at the water bags where they’re hanging on the underside of the tree. I get my tin mug and Eve follows me to the tree.
“What’s with them?” she asks, glancing across at Billy and Andy.
“They were worried about you,” I say in a low tone. “You know, a lion could have eaten you.”
“Oh, I guess. I’m not afraid of that. I don’t think there are any animals here. I’ve been meaning to ask you. Do you have a problem with Trip?”
My heart beats a little quicker. “No. Yes. Sort of. I don’t like him. Why do you ask?”
“It sounded like you were arguing last night.”
I stare into her face. “It was nothing,” I say, carrying the bag over to the others and acting cool like my emotions are not all messed up. The shaking problem with my hands has been better, but it’s coming back all of a sudden.
“Here.” I offer water to the others and they take it with thanks.
Faith and Maria are moving the bag with the condoms in it to a spot under a tree close to the water bags.
“That was dumb,” Faith says to Eve. “Anything could have happened to you. Dumb people get themselves killed.”
“I’m not dumb,” Eve shoots back. “Don’t call me dumb.”
Faith stops what she is doing, stands, and puts her hands on her hips. “I’ll call you anything I want. The others will back me up.”
“Well, I think you’re dumb. And you don’t do anything around here to help out. At least I went to help get water.”
Faith’s face darkens and her eyes narrow. “I don’t do anything? Who do you think cooked dinner last night, huh? And who boiled water and poured it into the water bags? Don’t you dare say I’m not helping.”
“Forget it.” Eve stomps away to the periphery of the camp.
“Don’t you walk away from me, you bitch,” Faith yells after her.
“Leave it alone.” I wasn’t planning to get between them, but I can’t help myself. “It’s not worth arguing over.”
For a minute I think Faith is going to yell at me. She opens her mouth, closes it, and then says, “She’s looking for trouble.”
I help her finish organizing the water.
“Where’s Billy?” I ask Stretch, who is lying on his back on the bed.
He points. “Got the knife from Eve and he and Jared went that way.” I figure they are gutting and cleaning the fish. “We got latrines.” Stretch sits up and yawns. “Come check it out.”
We head out back of the shelter. “That there is for the men, and the other one’s for the ladies.” He points to each one in turn.
Rodriguez has also gotten off the bed. He limps toward the ladies’ latrine. I pick up my camera again and focus on his face. I’m glad to get away from Faith. She has a sulky scowl on her face and her eyes are weirder than before.
Andy and Kelli appear from somewhere and follow Rodriguez to inspect his work.
“Wow,” I say. “Not too bad.”
It’s a hole in the ground with a box on top, framed by bound together saplings, with a square hole in the middle so you can sit on it. They’ve dug quite a deep hole beneath it. It has privacy walls made of some sort of leaves and vegetation strapped together. I make sure I get shots from all angles, then I do the same for the men’s one. Andy is holding Kelli’s hand and I start to wonder what he meant when he said we don’t know anything about him—or was it his marriage?
I move back, set the camera down and stand beside the fire. Andy and Kelli stop a little way off from everyone else. Kelli’s laughter reaches me. She sounds happy. I think about what Jared said. What was he hinting at when he said Andy was jonesing for something?
I tense up when Trip and the other two women show up, with Mark behind them. Trip is carrying something in Rodriguez’s black trash bag.
Lela tips it up onto the sand. “We found some food. He knows a lot about this kind of stuff. We’re so lucky to have him with us.” She chin-cocks Trip. “Look, this is Cassava. It has protein in it. You can eat the leaves, too.”
I watch Trip out of the corner of my eye, even though I don’t want to. He and Sam have gone over to get a drink of water.
“We can cook this?” Faith is standing beside us.
“Yeah,” Lela says. “But it’s probably poisonous.” She scratches her stomach.
Faith wrinkles her brow. “So we can’t cook it?”
“Ask him,” Lela says. “He knows.” She saunters off toward the water and pats Trip on the shoulder and says something to him. Sam is wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and I see her stiffen and shake her head.
“Can we eat this or not?” Faith yells over to Trip. He comes toward us and I move away.
“It’s probably poisonous,” I hear him say in that dreaded voice. “Cyanide. But if you soak it for twenty-four hours you can eat it. You’ll have to find some sort of container.”
My fists are clenched so tight my nails are digging into my palms, and I have short nails. My hands are still shaking a little. I hate him. I hate everything about him and I still cannot believe that he is here. Memories that I’ve pushed away for so long are trying to force themselves back into my mind, bringing with them the horror, the fear, and the revulsion.
“I guess I didn’t get back in time to film the latrines being built, but they’re pretty good,” Mark says from behind me. He stares into my face. “You look tense.” He turns off his camera.
“It’s not important,” I say quietly, still watching Trip.
“I wish you’d tell me why you hate him so much.”
I take a couple of deep breaths and try to calm myself. “It’s a long story and I don’t want to talk about it, but he’s a sleaze.”
“So why did you come if you hate being around him? You must have seen him when we were doing the final interviews. You could have pulled out at the party, even.” Mark isn’t gonna leave it alone.
I wish it was that simple. “I can’t believe you’ve forgotten already, the Old Man told us one of the contestants couldn’t make it to the party. Remember?”
Mark scratches his chin. “Yeah, now that you mention it. But I know they interviewed everyone.”
“And he was the one they interviewed online. They didn’t let me see it. Why would they?”
Mark rolls his shoulders. “What about a list of names? Surely you saw one.”
“I-I don’t want to talk about it, Mark. Please.”
He must have seen how my hands are shaking and heard the quaver in my voice. I don’t want to tell him that Trip isn’t his real name because it’ll lead to more questions.
“I’m sorry, Lex. It’s none of my business, but if he gives you any problems, you
will let me know, won’t you?”
I drop my gaze to my shoes and notice how dusty they are.
“Promise me, Lex,” Mark says, his hand on my shoulder.
“Yo, what’s going on?” Billy interrupts us. He stares at me with his eyebrows raised. “You okay?”
“We’re cool,” Mark says, and walks away.
“I need to go wash my hands,” Billy says. He holds them under my nose. They stink of fish. “Want to come?”
I wrinkle my nose and nod. “If you promise me nothing will eat me.”
“I still have the knife,” he says, pulling it out of his waistband. “Me, Tarzan.”
He gestures to Mark that we’re going to the waterhole and Mark nods. I laugh and follow Billy down the path. Jared says he’s not who I think he is.
Who do I think he is?
Chapter 18
Billy wished he knew more about what was going on with Lexie and that dude, Trip. It was almost as if she was afraid of him. The cameraman, Mark, must have noticed it too. Why did he care so much? Was this really only their second day together?
“That’s what I was hoping for,” he said as they reached the bank of the stream. “The sunset. We’re still a little early, but if you want we can wait. You should have seen the sunrise this morning.”
Lexie smiled. He loved it when she did that. “I saw the sunset last night.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t see it sitting all alone beside a handsome cowboy. Let me go wash my hands and this knife first, and then we can sit up there and watch it. In that tree.” He pointed.
Billy clambered down the bank then swirled his hands around in the murky water. The hole they had dug had been messed up by animals again, but he would bring a shovel later. He picked up some sand and rubbed it into his hands, rinsed them, and sniffed them. Not good enough. He didn’t want her to think he smelled bad. He rubbed them again.
Lexie was standing watching him when he climbed back up to her. She followed him to the tree. He waved her in front and she climbed nimbly up and onto the branch—the one that made a perfect seat.
“Where’d you learn to do that?” he asked as he settled beside her.
“Just because I lived in the suburbs doesn’t mean we didn’t have trees,” she said.
He couldn’t help staring into her eyes a little too long, and he saw her go red. He looked away. “It’s getting prettier by the minute,” he said, pointing at the horizon, but thinking about how she was growing on him. Having her alone here with him was fanning the flames of his lust. He wanted to take all her clothes off and touch her all over. Everywhere. And he wished . . .
“Yeah. It’s beautiful. You notice things like that, don’t you? I mean, pretty things.”
“I notice a lot of things,” he said. “Not all of them pretty.”
She glanced across with an anxious expression on her face.
“You really, seriously don’t like that dude Trip.” Billy picked a twig off the tree and rolled it around in his hands.
“I . . . told you. I knew him. Before.”
“And he did something to scare you, didn’t he?”
She nodded and a tear formed in the corner of one eye. He wanted to hold her and tell it was okay, but she was so jumpy he was afraid to touch her.
“I can’t talk about it. Please don’t mention it again.”
At least she had told him, or admitted that he did something she didn’t like. Something that scared her a lot. Now she was all tensed up and edgy again and her face had a pinched look about it because she was trying to hold her tears back. He knew he was going to pay close attention to Trip from now on. Like he told her, he noticed things. He had seen the way the dude eyeballed her and he must be old enough to be her father. If he saw anything weird going on between Trip and her he would put a stop to it, even if he had to punch the asshole.
There’s something magical about watching the clouds over the distant misty mountains. I love the way they change from brilliant red to orange to buff and then all that’s left is a little hint of yellow, but it isn’t totally dark yet.
I glance at Billy. “Tell me about your horses. I like horses, and I’m planning to move out to a cottage at an equestrian center.”
“We have a lot of horses on the ranch. My best horse is called Chocolate. You’d like her,” he says. “All women like chocolate, don’t they?” He stares at me with a yearning in his eyes and I can’t help staring back. He’s the first to look away. “She’s dark-brown with lighter highlights in her mane and tail, almost the color of your hair.” He picks up a lock in his hand and holds it for a few seconds before he drops it again. Something about the gesture makes me stare at his mouth.
“Ssh. Listen,” Billy says.
Everything has suddenly gone quiet. The birds have stopped singing. The insects and frogs have all stopped their racket.
Then I hear muted footfalls, and mooing almost like cows, and then a high-pitched rippling sound, kind of like a horse’s neigh but different. We also hear snorting.
Billy points. “Check it out.” he says in a stage whisper.
“Wow. That is epic,” I whisper back.
A herd of animals has appeared over the crest of a hill, moving slowly from our right to our left. I recognize the zebras. They’re beautiful. And I remember the other strange animals. I’ve seen them in the zoo. They’re called wildebeests or gnu.
Billy’s arm goes around my shoulders and I lean into him. He’s warm and his arm is hard and muscular.
We sit there quietly and watch them. It’s like I’m watching a movie on the Discovery Channel. It would be hard to believe that I am really in Africa and those animals are real if I couldn’t smell the dust they’re kicking up and their animal smell. A wildebeest baby breaks from the pack and kicks up its heels before it gallops around, dodging rocks and bushes. I can’t help smiling, it’s so adorable. Its mother calls to it with that strange nasal kind of lowing.
We sit there in silence, enjoying them until they move away back down into a valley and over a low rise to where we can’t see them anymore.
“That was awesome,” I say.
Billy’s arm tightens around my shoulders and his hand strokes my arm. It’s so good.
The frogs start croaking again, and a bird makes a squawking sound. Another one seems to answer.
“So there are some animals here.” I can hear the excitement in my own voice. “They haven’t all been poached out or whatever.”
“No. That was really special,” Billy says.
We go silent. His hand is running up and down my arm and it’s making me crazy. I try to remember what we were talking about before the animals appeared. His horse.
“So is she a nice ride?”
“What?” he says.
“Chocolate. Your horse. You were telling me about her.”
“She’s the most ornery horse I ever rode. She’s a real woman. Sorry. But she’s as moody as they come, and feisty too. Something like you. I’m not being rude about women or you when I say that. I like that about women. I like that they’re unpredictable and feisty. And I love that horse, even when she tips me into the brambles.”
“So what mood am I in right now?” I ask him.
“Are you kidding? With that sunset and those animals. It has to be romantic. You’re thinking what a handsome dude I am and how you would love me to kiss you.” He takes off his hat.
My heart misses a beat. I watch his face come toward me. His lips are slightly parted and his gaze is holding mine. He’s very handsome. I like the faint outline of new beard growth on his face. My breath is coming faster and the touch of his lips on mine sends a tingle all the way down to my toes. For a moment I am lost in him. I kiss him back. He tastes salty and smells of man. My tongue meets his and I want more.
He breaks the kiss and stares into my eyes and I see the lust and the naked need in them. I welcome his lips with mine as he bends and kisses me again. His hand slides down my stomach and into my jeans.
“I . . . I can’t,” I gasp. I know I’m blushing and I’m glad it’s almost dark. “I-I’m . . .”
He pulls his hand back. I can hear his fast breathing, but I’m glad he stopped when I asked him to. No one would have heard if he had forced himself on me.
The strange thing is, I wanted him to do more. I don’t know why that scares me so much. Maybe it’s because I only met him yesterday. Or is it something to do with his past? Something dark that put him in juvie for over a year.
Chapter 19
Everyone is in a big circle around the fire. Billy is sitting beside me on one side, and Jared on the other.
The fish stew Faith made with the Cassava leaves and rice has put us all in a better mood. The weather is perfect. We don’t know how long the rice has to last us, but I think we are all figuring on three days and the cooked rice filled the big pot to the brim. We all feel a whole lot better now that we have food in our stomachs and are no longer dehydrated.
“Some of your coffee would be good right about now,” Stretch says to Mark.
“I have something that might even make this meal more memorable.” Sam follows Mark into the shelter, where someone has lit the candle.
Mark hands the coffee can to Faith, who still jealously guards the pots. The boys have long since been back to the creek to wash them and get more water to boil.
Virgo's Vice Page 11