Breaking to Breathe

by Lisa N. Paul

  Shaking her head, she admitted, “I’m not ready. I’m not saying I never will be, but I’m not ready right now.”

  “I’m not gonna force you, honey, but know, you have a good man who cares a great deal about you. I’m pretty sure your shine will never fade in his book.” Elliot squeezed Cate’s hand again before lifting herself from the kitchen chair.

  “Hey, Ells,” Cate needed to ask her friend the question that had been weighing on her mind since leaving the parking lot in West Virginia.

  “Yeah…”

  “Did you know?”

  Elliot’s lips pulled into a firm line, her chest rose and fell as she gave Cate the answer she’d known in her heart before the question was ever asked. “Yeah, Catey, I knew. I had a vision. But you were happy and positive, and when I tried to warn you, you didn’t pick up on it. I decided you needed to go through with the visit and see for yourself.” Elliot spoke quicker, “Maybe I should have pushed harder to tell you, but it was a quick flash, so I wasn’t entirely certain about it.” She shrugged. “I could have been wrong, I guess.”

  Cate rose from her chair and walked over to Elliot, once again wrapping her arms around her friend. “You did the right thing. Thinking back, I see how you tried to warn me, but I would have gone no matter what. Thank you for staying by my side, Ells.”

  “Oh, honey. I’m never leaving your side, well, except for dates, sex, and Sunday dinners. Those are fun, Catey.”

  Finally feeling a little better, Cate took the mugs to the sink and rinsed them out. “I’m guessing you’re sleeping here tonight?” She said with a smile.

  “Yep. Night, girlie.”

  “You’re starting to sound like Ashley, Elliot.”

  “Cool, I really like that girl. I’m excited to see them all on Tuesday for the big party. Which, by the way, I promised you would attend. So action thongs, my friend.” Hearing Elliot’s giggle brought a smile to Cate’s face. Maybe she’d finally get some decent sleep.

  No Raspberry Truffles?

  “REALLY, NO RASPBERRY truffles?” Lyla pouted. She turned her back, leaving the door open wide enough for Kyle to enter her home; kind of felt like she was expecting his visit.

  “I know, I know. The guys warned about your fee, you little troll,” Kyle joked, closing the door behind him and following her into the kitchen. “But it’s barely nine in the morning, Ly. Godiva wasn’t open yet. Trust me, I called.”

  Her blue eyes lit up at the mention of her favorite chocolate store. “Okay, but you owe me. Coffee?” She offered. He nodded, and then went to her refrigerator to take out the skim milk. She set full mugs of delicious smelling java down on the table and slid on to her chair.

  “You need to go grocery shopping, Ly; you don’t have any food in your place.” Kyle unwrapped a protein bar and took a hardy bite.

  “First of all, you’re eating my last bar right now, buddy, so be nice. Second, did you really come here to reprimand me on my empty pantry?” Kyle grinned at the knowing look Lyla flashed him over the top of her mug.

  Shaking his head, Kyle jumped into the reason for his early morning visit. “I went to Choppers with Max and Ryan last night after dinner to get their advice on what to do about Cate.”

  Lyla sipped her coffee and grinned. “And?”

  “And after they gave me shit for having my head up my ass, they both told me to come to you.” Kyle swallowed a gulp of his drink and grinned, “So Jedi Master Lyla, what are your words of wisdom. And how is it that you’re the one giving the best damn relationship advice when you aren’t even in one?”

  “Well, Padawan Kyle, just because I’m not steadily fucking someone doesn’t mean I don’t know relationships.” Lyla’s candid answers were one of the reasons why Kyle felt comfortable in her presence. There was never a need to tread lightly around his bold best friend. “Ky, I know people; I can read them well. And since I don’t tangle myself up in the emotional bullshit, I usually see things clearer than the people directly involved. That was the case with both Max and Ryan.” Her brow arched. “That’s not necessarily the case here, with your situation.”

  Lyla’s statement had Kyle confused. So could she help him or not? “What are you saying, Ly? Are you not gonna help me?”

  He watched as Lyla pulled in a deep breath; there was clearly something on her mind and as good as his friend was at keeping secrets, she was a horrible liar. There was something she wanted to tell him, but he could tell there was a war going on in her mind. “Ly, what is it?”

  He could tell the moment she’d made up her mind. Her eyes cleared and her sparkly blue irises landed directly on his face.

  “Kyle, I am not doing this lightly. It goes against everything I believe in as a person, but…I think in the long run, it’s something that you should know. Just promise me you’ll only use the information I give you if it’s really warranted. Okay?” With a warning like that, he was almost scared to hear what Lyla was going to tell him. That being said, Lyla was one of the most valuable people in his life; if she thought something was important, he’d bet his life it was.

  Putting his elbows on the table, Kyle moved in closer, “I promise.”

  “There have been several times since I met Cate and Elliot that red flags have gone up, little things they’ve said or ways Cate acted. She carries herself differently than most people do.” Kyle moved to interrupt, but Lyla stopped him. “Kyle, we both have busy schedules, let me say what I have to, and if you have questions after, then ask okay?” Kyle nodded his agreement and Lyla continued.

  “Anyway, we all have our pasts, our skeletons, our baggage—whatever you wanna call it, so I tend to notice it in other people when I see it. The girl’s loaded with it.”

  Relief swept through Kyle; he knew what Lyla was about to say, “Lyla, I know she was kidnapped as a child. She told me about it.” The reprieve was short lived when Lyla’s intense glare didn’t diminish.

  “Okay, good. But do you know the rest?” He sighed. He didn’t know the rest; he didn’t know nearly enough. His look must have given the answer his silence didn’t, because Lyla just nodded and continued to speak. “Ky, I hate that I know this stuff about her, but that’s who I am. I’m compulsive about the people I allow in my world. It’s part of my…baggage. But just because I know it doesn’t mean I’m going to tell you.”

  “What the fuck, Ly,” Kyle snapped, “Why would you dangle a carrot like that in front of my fucking face when you know how much that girl means to me just to pull it back?” Kyle jerked up from his chair and paced the kitchen.

  “Kyle,” Lyla shouted. “There is no carrot. Listen to me. I won’t tell you the information. I can’t. But you can learn it on your own.” Lyla’s eyes pleaded with him, begged him to understand.

  “How the hell do I do that?” He huffed. “She won’t speak to me.”

  Sighing, Lyla stared to the ceiling as if praying for strength. “Google her, goddamn it.”

  “Ahh…okay.” Kyle jerked up from his chair. His need to be home was unimaginable. Good thing he wore his running shoes here; he was about to beat records for the two mile run back to his place.

  “I’m guessing you don’t know this, but her given name was Cathryn. Cathryn Lockton. She legally changed it when she turned eighteen. But that’s how you’ll find the information you’re searching for.”

  “How’d you know to look under a different name?” He asked as the knowledge sank in.

  “Baggage, my friend. Baggage.”

  A sad shadow passed over Lyla’s beautiful face. Kyle could tell she took no pleasure in giving him any of the information she had handed over. He leaned down and placed a kiss on her cheek. “Thank you, Ly. Thanks for everything.”

  As he ran out her front door, he heard her call, “No problem, slob. I’ll just clean up your trash and wash your mug.” Kyle couldn’t help but smile as he raced home to his computer.

  All The Crazies

  THE SKY WAS a lovely shade of azure with small wisps of clouds th
rown in, just enough to break up the perfection of the creamy blue. They had really lucked out with the temperatures forecasted to hit the low sixties, not a frequent thing for Charistown in the beginning of April. “The weather is perfect for Danny’s grand re-opening, don’t you think, Catey?” The brightness that bounced off Elliot’s small frame was rivaled only by the sun.

  This was Cate’s favorite part of their job as well, watching all of their hard labor come together into a successful soirée. However, some of the excitement she normally felt was abated by her nerves. She hadn’t seen or spoken to Kyle or any of her other new friends in days. Not that they hadn’t tried. Kyle called and texted relentlessly, and each of the women sent text messages, swearing that they didn’t want to push but they were in fact thinking of her. Cate didn’t respond to any of them. She couldn’t; her parents’ voices still resonated too loudly in her head making her doubt, making her hurt.

  “Catey, put your personal feelings away. Today is about Danny’s on Main and Shout it Out.” Gone was the best friend Elliot, and in her stead was business Elliot. “We have only a few hours and a ton of work to do. The band is due to arrive at five and the private party starts at six.” Elliot ran down the timeline out loud once again. Repetition was her best asset and her biggest downfall on event days. There was no forgetting what went where and when with Elliot; the thought made Cate giggle.

  “What’s so funny?” Elliot pulled the lock off the sliding back door of the U-haul trailer.

  “I was just thinking about how cool it’s going to be to have a band as big as Your Toxic Sequel playing at one of our events.” Cate beamed, “I mean, I know Ryan has connections but it’s YTS. They’re amazing and have you seen what they look like?” Cate had never been the swoony type, but Lucas Wolfe, the man was made for sin. Thinking of the lead singer and his extreme sexiness brought visions of another man to mind. One that was just as beautiful and just as sensuous. Okay, maybe he didn’t sing as well, but he played her body like a fine-tuned instrument, and he was probably inside the bar waiting for her at that very moment.

  “Hey Catey, you gonna help me throw this shin-dig or do you plan to stand out here and dream of hot men all day?” Elliot smiled over her shoulder as she loaded boxes onto the dolly.

  Grunting as he finished his leg extensions, Kyle had purposely scheduled his physical therapy appointment at the same time Cate and Elliot were due to arrive at the bar. Yes, it may be childish, but the only way he could give her the space she apparently still needed was to physically stay away from Danny’s until he was required to be there.

  After spending the past day and a half processing all he learned about Cate and her family, it was a miracle he didn’t drive to West Virginia and pound them into the ground. Instead of acting on impulse, he was finally learning to think first; hence pounding on his muscles instead of Cate’s family. If one could even refer to them as such.

  But he was only going to bend so far; he was done. It was time for both of them to find the peace and happiness they deserved. He was determined for her to understand. His phone buzzed on the floor next to his keys. Usually he kept both in the locker room, but he promised he’d be available even if he was out of the building. Two texts came through back to back.

  Ashley: They just arrived.

  Ashley: C’s smiling but looks sad. Fix it.

  Uh, he could practically see her, all perfect creamy skin, auburn hair, and glittering soft brown eyes with hints of topaz toward the center of her irises. Her lips, those stunning lips, each time he thought of her lips, his cock stirred. Not easy to hide in meshed gym shorts. Kyle adjusted himself and stared down at the screen on his cell. Fix it, Ashley demanded. Oh, he was going to fix it, but with how important today was for everyone involved, he was going to have to wait until after the party to finally show Cate the love she’d been missing all her life.

  “Oh my God, seriously, girlies; this party is amazing.” Ashley hugged both Cate and Elliot in firm embraces as she turned her attention back to the rock band. “I know I’m an engaged woman, and there is no other man in the world I’d wanna spend my life with, but…”

  “Which one?” Ashley lifted her brows, grinning at Elliot’s astute question. “Which band member has you swooning?”

  “Sinjin, okay? The man is dreamy, and what he can do with a pair of drum sticks… yum.”

  “Hmm, and here I thought you had a thing for guitar players.” Ryan joked as he came up behind Ashley and stroked her arm before dropping small kisses on the top of her head. Cate loved watching Ryan and Ashley interact with one another. They appeared to be amazingly attuned to each other’s needs yet still able to joke and laugh without misunderstandings and constant reassurances.

  “Are you okay? You just sighed.”

  “I’m fine, Ells,” Cate answered honestly. “It’s just nice to see all kinds of love in the air. That’s all.”

  Elliot’s eyes sparkled as she grinned what Cate had always referred to as a shit-eating grin, “Sit tight, Catey Cat; you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” Leaving Cate slack-jawed and curious, Elliot sauntered over to Max. Knowing Elliot had spent a lot of time meeting and organizing with the crew in Charistown, Cate let go of the tight reins she usually held. But now, watching what appeared to be a covert mission unfolding, she regretted being on the outside of something which, by the smirk on Max’s face, promised to be unforgettable.

  Kyle’s heart was thrumming in his chest, and it had nothing to do with the bass running through the ground. The crew had decided to take turns behind the bar, once the doors opened to the public at eight, but for the private party, comprised of family, friends and other local business owners, temporary bartenders were pouring the drinks. Except for Kyle. He knew himself, and the sturdy mahogany was the only thing keeping him from sweeping Cate up in his arms and taking her back to his apartment. Since that would most likely be frowned upon by all involved, he kept his ass and his erection firmly planted where he felt most at home.

  He scanned the bar, locating each of his partners, they all appeared happy with big smiles and bright eyes. Relishing in the accomplishments they’d made in such short time, between rebuilding Danny’s on Main and finding personal happiness. His attention was snagged when he saw Lyla chatting with the owners of the book store. While she was engaged in conversation, there was a man behind her that seemed slightly off. Kyle couldn’t put his finger on what wasn’t right, but there was something…

  “Ladies and Gentlemen.” Lucas Wolfe, the front man and lead singer of YTS addressed an excited and star struck crowd. “We’re honored to be here tonight for the grand re-opening of Danny’s on Main.” When Lucas shouted the name of the bar, the applause was deafening. “When our friend, Ryan Baker, told us what happened to Danny’s on Main a mere four months ago and how together as a team and as a family they were able to rebuild so quickly, well, we were inspired. We each know how it feels to lose something meaningful,” Lucas slipped a flirty glace toward the stunning woman who had come with them to the party. She sat perched on the bar stool and smiled shyly at his attention. “Some of us, the lucky ones, know exactly how it feels to win.”

  Kyle shifted his focus from Lucus Wolfe to the audience. Janie was standing with Lyla, and both were smiling adoringly at the rock stars. Kyle stared intently at the women, wanting to see the exact moment when awareness struck.

  “I spoke with Max DeLucca a couple of times.” Bam, Kyle chuckled to himself as Janie’s turquoise eyes rounded, and she began to search the bar for Max. But he was already walking in the direction of the make-shift stage. Lucas continued, “And he asked if we would mind playing one cover song for you all tonight. Do you mind?” The crowd cheered their acceptance as the band got ready to play. “It’s all you Max.” Lucas smiled, grabbing his microphone off the stand and began to sing Ronan Keaton’s version of When You Say Nothing At All.

  Kyle watched Max, a man who fought long and hard for love walk over to a visibly surprised Janie. Lyla whispered so
mething in Janie’s ear, kissed her cheek, and stepped back, allowing Max to whisk Janie onto the open floor for a dance.

  Cate stood motionless as she took in the beautiful sight of Max and Janie dancing to the heartfelt lyrics of a song that seemed to embody true love. Max leaned into Janie and whispered words no one else could hear. She watched as Janie nodded in agreement and Max used his thumb to wipe away the moisture that leaked from the corner of her eye. As the band ended the song, Max lowered down on bended knee and pulled a small box from his pocket. He gazed up at the woman who was so clearly the center of his world and spoke loud enough for all of the misty eyed, curious onlookers to hear.

  “Janie, I’ve searched my life for a love like yours and was blind when I finally found you. But one step at a time, I’ve learned my heart belongs nowhere else but in your hands. You have it, Jane, all of it and all of me. Will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?”

  “Yes, Max,” Janie cried outright, “I would love to marry you.” The minute her reply hit the air, Max stood tall and swept her into his mammoth arms. The whole place erupted into applause as the couple kissed in chick flick fashion. Okay, now she understood why some women loved watching those movies; her belly was fluttering with excitement and hope. After all, she’d just seen it happen with her own two eyes.

  She let her gaze flit over to the bar where Kyle was serving champagne and celebrating with his friends. He hadn’t even tried to speak to her the entire day. Not that she approached him; after all, she was busy. But he had practically ignored her, and if she was being honest, his reaction hurt. Eventually your shine will fade. Rubbing her stomach, she spared one last glance at the man who made her feel too much and then returned back to work.