Information and access.
I'm not permitted to see Elizabeth, in fact legally I'm not even supposed to be inside hospital walls, but I just wanted a moment. A moment to be near my girl and to talk to her. Even if it's just for a moment. Even if it's just through this door. Nurse Price told me that Elizabeth's been awake and alert for most of the day now, and so I figure that if I just say a few words through the door that there's a chance that she'll hear me.
I knock lightly on the door.
"Yes?" Her voice sounds weak and strained, like it hurts for her to speak.
"Don't talk, Duchess. It's me."
Heavy silence.
"I'm just going to talk for a moment, and I want you to listen."
I lean my head closer to the door, so she can hear me clearer.
"Once you heal up, I'm going to spank that pretty little ass of yours for going rogue on me. Obviously I know you were meeting with the ex, and he brought some company along. I even think I understand why you didn't tell me, but that doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that I've taken care of that problem. You'll never hear from either of them again."
I think I hear her moving around in bed.
"Keep still."
The movement stops.
"It was all a set up, Duchess. From the very beginning. Back then in your apartment, Ethan knew that asshole was going to break in. They planned it. He may not have known the amount you had stashed, but Ethan knew about the money in the house. He and Shrek were actually more like partners than dealer and seller. Fucked up, whacked out partners. And then this time, they were going to try to extort money from me by using you once again."
Turns out Shrek and asshole hatched a very poorly thought out and ridiculous plan to get cash out of me by using Elizabeth as bait. Evidently Ethan convinced his dumb ass partner that I was sitting on a lot of money, but neither of them must have done their homework on how I make my money. If they had, they would have learned that I shoot dickweeds and lowlifes for fun, and I'm the wrong one to fuck with.
I think they are very clear about that shit now.
"But everything is fine now." I assure her.
I hear her moving around again. So disobedient. It takes everything in me not to fling open the door and keep her still with my own hands. I don't want her to injure herself any further, but I also promised Nurse Price that I wouldn't do anything to get her fired. So, I have to stay outside of the room, and I've got to make this quick.
"I haven't talked to you in so long. I miss that you know. Us just talking. I've been so inside of my own head, I haven't had the chance to tell you that I read the letter from my mother. I didn't exactly ask Joseph for it, but regardless of how it came to be in my possession, I read it.
"It was basically a lame ass twelve-step inspired apology letter. She said sorry for being such a fucked up mother. At least I think it was an apology. Either that or an explanation for her bad mothering thinly veiled as an apology.
"She also told me something very important and very fucked up. Interestingly enough Joseph isn't my biological father. Can you believe that shit? That probably explains why we don't get along. He isn't even my blood. Now we really have zero in common."
I pop a couple of M&M's in my mouth and keep talking.
"Listen, Duchess, I also wanted to say that I'm sorry about your coder. I mean I'm not sorry that I whipped his ass, but I'm sorry that I did it here in the hospital, in front of witnesses, and that your parents saw me lose control like that. That's why I arranged to have his medical bills paid, and I plan on sending him a check for whatever income he's missing out on while you're both in the hospital. I also went to explain things to your parents at their hotel room. To apologize."
I hear a labored one-legged hop and wheels rolling. Probably the ones from her IV stand. She's out of bed, and I'm not sure how she did it with that shattered leg of hers.
"Get back in the bed, Elizabeth," I order and then continue telling her my story, because I'm running low on time. "So needless to say, they weren't happy to see me, especially your father, but I still stood my ground and made my case. You may be mad as hell with me for it, but I told them everything. I told them about Ethan and what a little drug addict he was. I told them about the attack in your apartment, and the whole story of why you moved in with Joseph and Juliette. I told them how I was so angry that Blake took you to meet those vile bastards without checking in with me, that I couldn't see straight and regrettably lost control."
I don't tell her everything that Blake said, because this isn't the time or the place. I'm not even sure that she would believe me if I did tell her.
I lean my forehead on the door just so I can get a bit closer.
God, I want to touch her.
"I told them how we met. How we didn't know we were related to each other at first, and by the time we found out it was much too late. I admitted to them that I have a history of making bad decisions sometimes and worrying about the consequences later; I also told them that I'd never hurt you, and that I'd never let anyone else hurt you, and how that's a guarantee that not many men can make and truly deliver on. And lastly I told them how much I fucking love you, how that's never going to change, and how I'll never let it change."
There must be a set of crutches beside her bed, because I can definitely now hear her clopping towards the door, the IV stand rolling, and her breathing heavy. I can tell that she's working hard to get to the door. To get to me. I wonder if she's anxious to see me or smack me. I most definitely deserve the latter.
I look over at Nurse Price, because I can feel her eyes drilling a hole in the side of my head. She taps her watch a bit angrily to hurry me. I have to get moving. Fuck. I just want to hold Elizabeth. Just once.
I lightly thump my forehead several times against the door in frustration.
"I have to go now, Duchess, but you do what the doctors tell you all right? You need to heal and get better. You need to be strong for School Bucks and for the baby."
I nod in deep gratitude to Nurse Price, who told me about the baby today and who bought me quite a bit of time with Elizabeth in this hallway, and then I turn to make my way down the hall. I'm about midway to the elevator when I hear the door to Elizabeth's room creak open. If I turn my head to look at her, I'll fucking lose it. So I pretend that I can't hear her. I pretend that I can't tell that she's peeping her head out of the door. I pretend that I don't hear her bang her fist against the doorframe several times to get my attention, because she can't yell down the hall after me.
There was a reason why she didn't want to tell me she was pregnant before the accident, or maybe she didn't even know she was, and this is not the time to push for the reason why. I'm still processing the fact that I'm going to be someone's father. That's a mind fuck for your ass.
It's a good thing that I never got around to sharing with Elizabeth some of my new found reservations about having that squad of kids I mentioned before, because neither one of us can afford to second-guess how to move forward now. A baby is coming, and it's like I've won the damn lottery. A part of me is growing inside of Elizabeth. A connection that links me to the woman I love forever.
But I'm not going to lie.
I'm also scared shitless.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
ROMAN
I'm sitting again in Longwood Park on what is becoming my bench. Well mine and Cecil's. I wonder what kind of man this Cecil person was that he deserved a bench dedicated to him and in such a place like this. I wonder if it was something as simple as him making a financial donation, or if he was some sort of pillar of the community, or maybe just a really great father.
Typically I do a little investigation on things I wonder about. I've been known to have an insatiable appetite for knowledge about very specific things. I mean it doesn't take much to Google a name and get a little history on someone, but this time there's something about me not knowing who Cecil is that I like. I know enough. He was respected and he's remembered. And
sometimes that's all a man wants out of life.
A legacy.
Longwood is humming with energy today. It's the week after Christmas and before New Years and evidently in this neck of the woods that's a big deal. Everywhere I look there are shitloads of young couples, in matching North Face jackets, pushing strollers and sipping on expensive lattes. Looking like they do this all the time.
According to a posted schedule, they have some sort of small celebration in the park every night until New Years Day, and tonight it's a troop of young girls dancing a scene from the Nutcracker. I remember the ballet, because it was one of the few holiday traditions my mother stuck to. Watching The Nutcracker every time it aired on television. We only had one TV in our house, and I hated when she watched that damn special. I'd rather have been watching wrestling or something, not to mention that it made her cry every single time.
Jade spots me and walks hesitantly over. We haven't spoken much since Elizabeth's accident. Mostly because all I've had on my brain is Elizabeth's surgery, her recovery, and the baby that is growing inside of her. I haven't been in the mood to argue with yet another person close to me, but we were overdue for an argument. There was no putting it off any longer.
"Hey."
"Jade." I nod hello. "Have a seat."
She sits down next to me, but doesn't really look at me. Then she starts to nervously tap her leg.
"Why are you nervous?" I ask.
"I think we both know why."
"Why don't you tell me."
"I was keeping an eye on the ex, saw that he contacted Elizabeth, but I didn't tell you about it."
"Why?"
She finally looks up at me. I think she's surprised by my calm response.
"I was waiting for Elizabeth to tell you about it."
"Why?"
"Because I knew she wouldn't."
"So you put her in danger to prove some sort of point?"
"Obviously, I didn't know it was a set up. I didn't think the ass would try to hurt her."
"All he's ever done is hurt her." My voice rises slightly. "So forgive me if I don't understand your line of reasoning. You are quite familiar with drug users are you not?"
I not so subtly remind her of her drug addicted ex.
"I didn't even know he was in contact with that other asshole. I don't have access to his text messages, Roman. Just his email. She didn't even email him back. I honestly didn't think she would agree to meet him."
"Camden could have helped you get access to the text messages or put a tail on him once you saw that email."
"I thought I had it handled."
"But the point is that you didn't. You didn't have it handled at all."
She looks away while cracking a piece of gum that's in her mouth.
"You're right."
"I've always appreciated how you look out for me, Jade. You are way more than an assistant. You're one of my best friends. One of my only friends. But you're dead wrong about Elizabeth. She's the one. She's IT for me, and the sooner you get on board with that, the better off we're both going to be. Because if I have to make a choice, Jade, it will be her. It will always be her."
Jade clears her throat for a moment.
"I did try and talk to her about Ethan."
"When?"
"When I found out about the email. We talked. I told her then to tell you about the email. To tell you about Ethan. I knew you'd handle it from there. I gave her two days, long before the accident, but she didn't do it."
"What happened after the two days passed?"
"I didn't address it," she pauses, "I became distracted with something else."
"Doesn't matter either way. You had no right to order her or to strong arm her into doing anything, Jade. That's the part you're not getting. You work for me, and you're my friend, but that doesn't mean you have the authority to unilaterally manage my life and the people in it."
"Understood."
"She's having my baby. Did you know that?"
"No," she says with genuine surprise in her voice.
"She was pregnant with my child when she went to meet those douches. Elizabeth and my baby could have both been hurt badly or worse."
I hate to even think about an outcome like that. I would have set the whole city on fire if I had lost Elizabeth that day. Those assholes were dumb enough to make a mistake that could have cost her life. The truth of that hits me like a thunderbolt. What were they even planning to do with Elizabeth once they stopped the car? It's too bad I'll never know.
"I'm sorry, Roman. I didn't know. If I had, maybe I would have handled things differently."
"Just handle them the way I pay you to handle them. If I ask for surveillance, then I expect you to report back exactly what you've seen and heard. I don't pay you to make judgment calls about what you find out."
"I got it."
"All right, so are we good now?"
"I don't know, are we?"
"Well you're not fired, if that's what you're asking."
"Ok."
She looks as if she's almost in tears.
"What did you think I was going to say, Jade?" I ask a bit puzzled by her uncharacteristically emotional reaction.
"I don't know. I mean ... I was afraid that you'd cut me off."
"Listen, we have a very complicated relationship. You're my friend and you also work for me. Those are two very different positions in my life. You jeopardized the business relationship, but it would take a lot more for me to dump the friend. Just don't fuck up again." I give her a small smile.
"I won't," she says relieved and more relaxed now. I imagine that if either of us were huggers, we'd be hugging right now. But we're not.
"Now that we've got that out of the way, little Minion, we need to talk about why I brought you back out to Longwood today."
"All right, why? What's the deal with you and this place?"
"I've got something that I need you to do for me."
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
ELIZABETH
I can't wait to see the inside of my apartment. My simple furniture. My exposed picture windows. My dusty wood floors. My empty stainless steel refrigerator. My three fig plants, that are all probably dead. I can't imagine who would have put forth the effort to water them over these past few weeks. Only two people have a key, Sloan and Roman, and I seriously doubt that either of them even bothered.
I was hoping to sleep in my own bed for the first time in almost eight weeks, but I have no idea how I'm going to make it up the ladder to my loft. Not just because I basically now have a bionic leg filled with pins and screws, which is still healing, but also because I'm pregnant. If I fall climbing up the ladder, I have more than myself to consider. I'm responsible for another life. So I guess I'll just have to make do with some pillows and a comforter on my sofa. That's fine though. I'm just grateful to be back home.
I was ten seconds away from being practically kidnapped and taken back to Penn-Washington by my parents, but thankfully I was able to convince them that I'd much rather recuperate back in my own space. I convincingly spit out a couple of totally exaggerated statistics about the speed of healing in a familiar, relaxed environment. Blah, blah, blah. That and the fact that I told them I wanted to keep a close eye on Blake. Which is totally true. He's going through his own hell of a recuperation. Stuck on a liquid diet and pretty much homebound. I feel responsible for his condition.
He wouldn't have been involved in any part of this drama if I hadn't dragged him into it. If it hadn't been Roman who hurt him, it would have been Ethan. Somehow Blake would have gotten hurt, and I have no one to blame but myself. How can someone as smart as me make so many dumb decisions at the same time?
My parents didn't actually put up as much resistance to me staying as I thought they would. I'm a little frightened that it's because they've developed a soft spot for Blake. According to Sloan, they visited him several times in the hospital and practically begged his parents for their forgiveness. Especially once my mother
found out that his family was from Washington Falls. While she was truly sorry that Blake was hurt because of me, she was probably more mortified that our parents shared mutual friends. Tongues would be wagging back home about my torrid love affair with my cousin and the fact that he assaulted one of Washington Falls own. My mother was desperate to put that fire out before it started.
"I guess I should have fished for your keys while we were still driving, Bitsy." My mother fusses with a smile. "Your bag is as deep as the bottom of the black lagoon."
"I know. I know. They're in there somewhere, Mom. I just need to get a smaller keychain, so I can drop them in the pocket of my bag. That pouch thing they're on makes them too big to stuff in the pocket."
I'm waiting for my mom by the door, leaning on my crutches, while my father walks around to the trunk of their Subaru to get the bags of groceries we purchased after I was discharged.
"Found them," she cheers. "Don't forget to bring in the flowers too," she says to my dad.
I smile to myself, because I realize just how much people can surprise me. Neither one of my parents have given me a lecture about not telling them about Ethan or why I never reported the assault by Shrek. All my dad said was, "We live with our own choices." And left it at that. They didn't even address the fact that I was now pregnant out of wedlock or about the fact it's Roman's.
While I doubt they'll be shouting the announcement of my pregnancy from the rooftops, they seem to have come to terms with it in a way that works for them. In fact, I was really amused by how my mother was being really particular about the groceries she picked up on our way home. Everything organic, wild-caught or grass fed. She's so cute. I think she's only been inside of a Whole Foods literally twice in her life.
"Welcome home, darling," she chirps.
When my mom finally gets the door open, I'm stunned by the condition of my home. It's cleaner than I think it was when I first moved in. The windows are crystal clear, the wood floors have a freshly lacquered sheen to them, the counters are spotless, my mail is sorted and put in manageable piles for me to sift through. The leaves of my plants are clean, shiny and perky, and the soil in the pots looks slightly moist. Someone has been taking wonderful care of my house!
The Cousins Series Boxed Set Page 58