“Nah, I’m good. My stomach was a little fucked up earlier, but I’m straight.”
“Oh?” he said as he ran his hand across my stomach, “Fuck around and be pregnant in this bitch.”
My heart skipped a beat, “Pregnant? Nah, I can’t be.”
“Shit, I know I am fuckin’ busted in yo’ ass more than once, shit. I know it’s possible. I always wanted a son, though, straight up. Somebody to carry on my name just in case I don’t make it out this bitch, feel me? Shit. That’s all a nigga can actually hold onto now.”
“I feel you.”
He turned to look at Man-Man. He remained by the car in the same position, his hand near his waist as he surveyed the scene. After a few moments, he turned back towards me.
“I heard about that shit last night.”
“What shit?”
“Come on, now. Don’t act like yo’ shit didn’t get shot the fuck up last night.”
“Oh… yeah, that ain’t shit.”
“Fuck that. Who did it?”
“I think it was Remy’s petty ass. She had some shit to say to me that night I met you on stage, remember?”
“Remy, huh?”
The look in his eyes resembled the same look he had when he was beating the shit out of that man in his garage the other day. It was a look that I would begin to know and recognize when the killer in him was ready to come out,
“Fuckin’ Remy,” he leaned back on the bench, “I spray bitches/I don’t play with bitches/fuck with me, and I will erase these bitches.”
He quoted one of the lines from her songs word for word as he laughed to himself, rubbing his hands together. I knew what he was thinking of doing, and I didn’t care to stop him.
Later on that evening, I met up with Keyonna. She met me at Oliver’s, a fancy restaurant in a suburb of Milwaukee. A place where the police showed up seconds after you put the call in. I usually smoked or got drunk before I fucked with females to get my mind off the fact that I wasn’t a lesbian, but I was hard pressed to do it with the baby in my stomach. I had to do my best to make it believable.
I waited in my car until she texted me: I’m here. Where you at?
I got out the car; my skirt went to the top of my knees, and it fit perfectly around my ass. She had on jeans and a low cut shirt, pushing her titties out just enough to lure anyone in. We walked into the restaurant as the hostess peered at us like we didn’t belong.
“Can I help you two?” she asked, her voice just a prissy as she looked.
“Two seats, please. Preferably a booth.”
She smiled at us generically before leading the way to one of the booths by the window. We walked past various white couples with a few black faces scattered around the room. I didn’t mind the attention. It felt as if I was back on stage. The hostess handed us our menus and abruptly walked away from our table.
Keyonna noticed. “The fuck is wrong with that bitch?”
“Fuck her. We here doin’ us, and that’s all that matter,” I said as I scooted closer to her, “So, tell me about yourself.”
She smiled, “What do you want to know?”
“What do you do when you not at the club and shit?”
“I work at the crib with my nigga.”
“Word,” I had a feeling she was talking about Tuck, “Yo’ nigga, huh? Doing what?”
“Shit. Countin’ money. Makin’ sure the house stay in line, you know, that kinda shit. Nothing major.”
“Fuck. Yo’ nigga must be a fuckin baller then and shit.”
“He does his thang. He definitely does his thang.”
The pale waiter that came to our table had fixed his glasses before he spoke to us, “Can I get you people any drinks?”
“You people?” Keyonna said, “The fuck you mean you people?”
The waiter’s face immediately turned beet red. “No, I didn’t mean you people like that. I meant, you people like… you know, you folks? That’s all.”
She burst out laughing as she watched him stutter through his response. “I’m fuckin’ with you, Opie. Let me have a Hennessy and coke,” she said.
She looked over at me, “Matter of fact, let’s get two.”
“Nah, I’m good, Key.”
“Fuck that, we getting drunk tonight! I’m tryin’ to take advantage of somebody a little later, and it’s much more fun when we are both into it.”
The waiter quickly turned around and went to prepare our drinks. As we talked throughout the night, I found out more about Tuck than I thought I would. He has a weakness for women with my complexion. Keyonna told me how she gets jealous when he fucks another chick in the threesome better than he fucks her. She said she tried not to let it get to her too much because she knew how crazy he was and the smallest things would set him off.
“You think he would fuck with me?” I asked as I sipped on the drinks the waiter brought back.
She ran her hand across mine, “Well, I’ma test some shit out first and then we’ll see about that later.”
She ordered a few more drinks for herself and by the time the food came, she was lit. The customers that sat around us shot annoyed looks our way because of how loud she had gotten.
“Shiiit, bitch, I’m tryin’ to tell you right now, you are fine as fuck! Oh my, God, I can’t wait to put my tongue in that pussy!” It wasn’t long before the waiter came back to our table, threatening to call the police if we didn’t leave.
“There are complaints from the other customers,” he said to us nervously. I brought her out to my car and drove us to a secluded park on the north side of the city. Nobody ever came there, especially at this time of night. It’s the park me and Junie used to go to when we were in high school and wanted to fuck. We both lived at home, so it was hard to find a place to get away to, but we eventually came here. It sort of felt like I was desecrating our spot by bringing her here but then again, the connection I made between Nas and Junie was so intense that I began to think that it was him leading me to do it. I pulled into the parking spot right in front of a group of trees. Keyonna looked around.
“Where the fuck did you take me?” she asked.
“Ssssssh.”
I let my seat back and pulled her on top of me as she began kissing me on my neck and stroking my hair. As many times as I had been around women, this was the first time I was actually fucking one. She ran her hand down my titties, then climbed between the seats and got in the back. She reached into her purse, pulling out a dildo that was at least nine inches long. She put it all the way in her mouth and pulled it out as she signaled with her finger for me to come back there with her. I climbed towards the back as she put the dildo in my mouth. I gagged when it went halfway in as she laughed,
“Bitch, you gotta’ know how to take the dick. There ain’t no fuckin’ gaggin’ allowed!”
She took it and put it all the way in her mouth again while I pushed her back onto the seat, unbuckling her pants. I ran my tongue over her pussy slowly, licking and sucking along the way. She put the dildo back in her mouth to muffle her moans. Her wetness covered my lips as I put my tongue into her pussy. She took my head and pushed it in deeper, throwing her legs over my shoulders. I reached my hand down and played with my own pussy, getting myself wetter in the process.
She stopped me. “No, bitch. I’m about to fuck the shit out of you.” She got up and turned me around, strapping on her dildo and pushing it deep inside of me. She smacked my ass like a nigga as she fucked me hard, fast. She pushed it in as deep as it could go while I begged her to keep going. It felt good to me, and it was at that moment that I could see why bitches fucked with other bitches. She flipped me over and snatched the dildo off of her, putting it in my mouth. I licked it, tasting the juices from my own pussy as she shoved it into my mouth slowly, going in further and further until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Yes, bitch, that’s how you take the dick. That’s how you take the dick.” She left it in my mouth as she went down on me, licking my pussy up and down
like nobody ever had before. She twirled my clit around in her mouth, sending my eyes back to my head as I sucked on the dildo.
“Ummm-hmmm,” she said, “don’t that feel good? A nigga ain’t gonna make you feel this good.” She kept going until I came all over her mouth. She licked her lips, getting it all off as she came and kissed me on the lips. I didn’t stop her. “Now, fuck me,” she said, bending over, “Fuck me hard, bitch.” I figured out how to strap it on, and I fucked her. I fucked her the way Junie and Nas fucked me when I saw them in the mirror. Going in deep and stopping for a few seconds, then going in deep again.
“Smack my ass,” she said as I pulled my hand up and dropped it on her ass. The windows have been fully fogged up as we went on for what seemed like hours. She came, slapping her hand on the window like she was trying to get out. She damn near shattered the glass as she pounded it with her fist. Honestly, I think this bitch may have just turned me out. She fucked the shit out of me that night.
I dropped her back off at her car. She had somewhat sobered up by the time we got to the restaurant.
“So, am I going to see you again?” she asked.
“Yeah, you will. Most definitely.”
She smiled, “Aight then, bae.”
She walked to her car, her ass bouncing with each step she took. I was going to work her until I was able to get closer to Tuck and I was going to have fun doing it. On the way home, I called Nas and let him know what happened. He wasn’t even mad that I fucked her. He said if it was a nigga, then he would fuck both of us up, but he didn’t feel threatened by a chick. It’s probably because if it ever came up, he wouldn’t do anything but join in with us, and honestly, the way Keyonna fucked me, it might be a possibility.
“Aye, don’t forget the reason you doin’ this shit. We need to get to Tuck,” he said, reminding me of what was at stake.
“I know baby, I know. That nigga is gonna get his. I’ma make sure of it.”
“Aight. Let me know when you get to the crib. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
When I got home, I sent two texts. One to Nas and the other to Keyonna. This was turning into a love triangle that I never anticipated.
Chapter 17
I woke up the next morning smelling the aroma of fried bacon creeping into my room. I was surprised when I got out of bed and didn’t have the feeling to throw up that I usually had each morning. Maybe I was past that stage, and I was happy about it. I glanced at myself in the mirror and as of now, I still wasn’t showing any signs of being pregnant. I could only hope to keep that up for a few more months or at least until I was done with this Big Tuck shit. I walked into the kitchen while Uncle Stew leaned over the stove, frying bacon and scrambling eggs the same way Big Mama did it.
“Whassup, Unc?”
“Little Miss Lyric, just in time for breakfast.” He slid a plate right in front of me at the table. “How is my little niece or nephew doing?” he asked as he walked back over to the stove.
“Good. I’m finally not throwing up, so I guess it’s getting better.”
“Man, I heard you hurling from all the way downstairs a few days ago. I thought you were about to up-chuck one of your lungs into the toilet.”
“It felt like it, Unc.”
I looked at the wall, noticing the bullet holes that spread out along the top. It was only two of them, and you probably wouldn’t even see it if nobody told you they were there. Uncle Stew turned to see why I became so quiet then he followed my eyes up to the bullet holes,
“Oh, don’t worry about those, Lyric. I know somebody that will take care of all those for us.”
“Who?”
“It’s a guy down at the soup kitchen. He’s good with that kind of stuff.”
I glared at him, “Unc, come on now. Don't be havin' any crackheads up in Big Mama house.”
“Lyric, don’t be like that,” he said, filling his plate with eggs, bacon and grits as he came and took a seat by me, “It’s a struggle just like anybody else. Just like mine used to be. We have to help people get through that, not shun them away.”
“I hear you, but I just don’t want that nigga coming in here and trying to sell Big Mama’s stuff like you used to.”
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that. That won’t be happening, trust me. I checked him on it well before I told him he could come and I’ma have my eyes on him every step of the way. Trust your old uncle this time.”
I smiled at him while I enjoyed the breakfast that he made. He made a big turnaround from the days he used to get high and lose himself in his addiction. I was happy to see him like this now and even though I didn’t believe him at first, it was going on two months, and he proved me wrong.
“Where is Vinny?”
“I don’t know. He was gone when I woke up this morning.”
“That’s weird. It’s Saturday, so I know he doesn’t have to work.”
“Ain’t no telling.”
I finished my breakfast and walked into Big Mama’s room as Unc stayed behind and straightened up the kitchen. It seemed like when Big Mama left, I started going further and further off into the deep end. I was doing things I’d never done before and to think that I even went to that abortion clinic in the first place was enough to tell me that I wasn’t the same person. I had even stopped rapping. I hadn’t had a show since the time I met Keyonna, and the only reason I had it in the first place was to meet her.
I went to a picture of Big Mama that sat on the dresser. She was young, at least in her early 30’s. Her gray eyes and long, black hair were something most women could only dream of having. Next to that picture was one of my mother. I wished that I was able to get to know her better. The only picture Big Mama had of her was this one on the dresser. She looked into the camera as if she wasn’t expecting it to be there; a cigarette hung out her mouth while she had rollers in her hair. Her breasts hung down low under her shirt. I could tell she didn’t have a bra on. She looked like one of those women who had the potential to be beautiful, but they just didn’t know it yet.
“Yeah, I come in here sometimes myself and just stare at things. It still feels like she’s here, you know? I really can’t explain it,” Uncle Stew said with a smile as he walked into the room.
“Yeah, I see what you mean. It’s crazy because… it just doesn’t feel like she’s actually gone.”
He walked over and put his hand on my shoulder. “I know the feeling, Lyric. I know the feeling.”
“What do you think Mama would have been like if she never OD’d?”
“Yo’ Mama?” he said, laughing with a broad smile that showed three of his missing teeth towards the back of his mouth, “Yo’ mama was a trip!” He sat down on Big Mama’s bed.
“Honestly, if she was healed from her sickness, I think yo’ mama could have been very successful. I could see her being a manager of a bank or something like that. Maybe a teacher. I mean, she had a way with words and she was real good with money before her sickness. I know that whatever she would have done, she would’ve made a difference.”
He stopped and looked at her picture then turned to look at me. “Lyric, you got everything you need to be successful. Whatever you do, don’t let these streets consume you. I know you’re out there doing your thing, and I would be one of the biggest hypocrites on this side of the moon if I told you not to. But, just be careful. The saddest thing in the world would be to see you die with all the potential in the world like your mother did. It would be a shame. A complete disgrace.”
Just then, the front door opened and slammed shut. I heard footsteps running through the house, and the tennis shoes squeaked to a stop right at Big Mama’s door. We told Vinny he could come in the room, but he just felt that he shouldn’t, out of respect for me and Uncle Stew. To him, it was like sacred ground. I didn’t understand it, but I appreciated him for having that type of reverence for Big Mama.
“Yo, L, I need to holla at you about something real quick.”
“What�
��s wrong with you?”
“Yo, just come real quick, aight?”
I followed him out to the porch as he stood, trying to catch his breath.
“Vinny, what the fuck is up, nigga?”
“Aight. Shit. I was over at, um, at Lincoln hoopin’ and shit. Remy was up there with some niggas just fuckin’ around and shit. It was cool, you know what I’m sayin’, just a real cool time and—”
I smacked him on the arm. “Vinny! Quit fuckin’ painting the picture and spit the shit out!”
“My bad, aight, but yo, so we were hoopin’, and I saw Remy sitting by the car and shit. Then all of a sudden, this nigga comes up to her car and starts talking to her. Like, it seems like he was tryin’ to holla at her, but you know, Remy’s nigga was right there. So that nigga steps to him, then all of a sudden, the nigga that came up to her pulls out a pistol and just empties the clip on her at point blank range. I mean, that nigga just didn’t give a fuck. He just unloaded. Then he pulled out another pistol and started shootin’ at the niggas that were with her.”
“On what?”
“On everything. Man, I ran out that muthafucka so fast! You didn’t hear the gunshots?”
“Nah, I ain’t heard shit. I was in there with Uncle Stew.”
“Damn. I ain’t never seen any shit like that in my life. I fuckin’ saw her get murdered. Like, her shit was just exploded as soon as he fired on her. The nigga wasn’t even wearing a mask, and the shit was in broad daylight, L. Broad fuckin’ day! Niggas is not givin’ any fucks in the Mil no more. I gotta get the fuck out of here.”
As he rambled on, I thought about Nas. I knew he had something to do with it. There was no such thing as a coincidence, as Big Mama used to say. I knew I was dealing with a killer now and oddly, it turned me on to know that. It made me want him even more. I heard Big Mama’s warning, but I pushed it to the side, drowning her out with my own desires.
“Yo, you think yo’ boy had something to do with that shit?”
He got my attention. “Who? Nas?”
“Yeah. I heard some shit about that nigga from before. I heard that muthafucka don't be playin’ and shit. And the word is, he comin’ for Tuck ass.”
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