“I don’t know,” she hesitated for a moment just to make him sweat. “Nah, I’m kidding. I’d love to go. Which restaurant did you have in mind and what time?”
“There’s this new place, it’s right off Broadway. I thought we could try it,” he suggested. “How about 7:00?”
She glanced up at the clock, “Yeah, that’d be great. I’ll look it up and meet you there.”
“Actually, if you’d like, I can come pick you up. Text me your address.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to put you out of your way. It’d only take me about twenty minutes to drive there.”
“It’s no bother. Send your address and I’ll put it in my GPS. I’ll pick you up around 6:30.”
A flood of emotions ran through her as she hung up the phone. It had been quite a while since she’d gone on a date, which excited her, but she was scared of getting close to someone again. Having a close relationship with her sisters was one thing—and even that was guarded—but she didn’t know if she could allow another person into her inner circle. A throaty laughter escaped her as she searched through her closet for something to wear. Imagining what might happen on their date caused her heart to race as adrenaline surged through her. Staring at her clothes, she began twisting her necklace around her finger as she debated how she could keep her distance from him. Almost instantly, her appetite decreased as her mouth went dry.
She needed to focus and regain control. Maybe I should call him back and tell him I can’t go. What excuse would I use? I could tell him that I’m sick or that I have heartburn. Heartburn would be a good reason not to eat spicy Indian food. Maybe it’d be good for me to get out of the house, though, since I haven’t gotten out in a while. Oh, who am I kidding? I never go out because of my anxiety. The heart palpitations, dizziness, and hyperventilation, are enough to make me not want to go out; I don’t need extra reasons. I should call him.
Realizing that she was over-analyzing the situation, she decided that she would go. She thought about taking an anxiety pill, but she didn’t want that one pill to lead to another, and another, and then onto something much worse. While she was in rehab, the counselors taught her a few techniques that she could use when she was in stressful situations. Deep cleansing breaths, plenty of water and trying to clear my mind. Yes, that’s what I’ll do because I deserve to go out. I’m worthy of going out to dinner with a friend. She slipped on a simple blue sundress and a pair of white sandals. Making her way into the bathroom, she applied an earthy tone eyeshadow and a coat of lip gloss. Staring at herself in the mirror, she realized she hadn’t worn makeup since before her son’s death. Maybe this is what I need to pull me out of my rut. I was never introverted before the accident; I always had lots of friends, did my hair and makeup, and was outgoing. I wish I could be my old self again, she thought as she snapped the compact closed.
Too anxious to wait inside for Chad to arrive, she sat outside on the front porch. It was an unusually pleasant August evening. The light, breezy wind was a refreshing change. Normally, the Kansas City summers were hot and muggy, almost unbearable at times. She soon found that her nerves were going to get the best of her no matter if she was inside or outside. Holding her stomach as she rocked in place, she began thinking about worst-case scenarios. What if he’s still like he used to be? In college, he was promiscuous. Sure, he tried to keep things discreet—so other women wouldn’t find out that they weren’t the only one. On the flip side, though, he never did commit to anyone, including me. She started to talk to herself under her breath. “Oh, maybe this is a big mistake. If he hasn’t changed, I can’t handle the old Chad. The one who would never make a commitment. I need stability right now. Perhaps he’s changed, gotten better with age.”
Chad’s truck pulled up in front of her house just as she was finishing her sentence. Crap, she thought, now it’s too late to back out.
“Hi!” Chad waved as he rolled down the passenger window.
“Hi,” she sweetly smiled back as she began the descent from her porch to his truck.
As she walked to his truck, Chad’s mind flashed back to when they were in college. There were many times when he’d go to the house that Audrey shared with three other girls, and he’d pick her up. He pictured her walking out to his old beat up car back then. How things have change, he thought, but Audrey hasn’t. She’s still as beautiful as ever.
“Did you have trouble finding it?” she asked looking at her watch.
“No, I was running late because I stopped and got you these.” He reached into the backseat and produced a bouquet of roses.
“Aww,” she said, “you didn’t have to do that.”
“I know, but I wanted to.”
At the restaurant, they enjoyed their meals as they reminisced about their college years. Both of them avoided bringing up Alex or any of Audrey’s past since college. She didn’t know how to tell him about Alex’s death. Every time someone asked her about him, she’d start crying. Chad didn’t want her to know that he already knew. He wanted to avoid looking like the creepy stalker type who looked up exes online and searched their family’s social media accounts. Throughout their conversation, Audrey remained skeptical that he’d changed very much in the past eight or nine years since she’d seen him last.
“I’m surprised you’re not settled down,” she commented.
“Me? I thought for sure you’d be married by now,” he said, turning the tables on her.
“Yeah right. I’ve been through a lot. I don’t think I’m ready for that chapter in my life yet, but it might be nice to find someone one of these days.” She glanced at him, trying to gauge his reaction.
“I’ve been busy myself, not a lot of time for a love life,” he lied. He could do whatever he wanted, the problem was that he compared everyone to Audrey. No one ever measured up.
“You know what I do for a living. How about you?” she asked, wiping her mouth with her napkin.
“When I graduated, I developed software designed for large companies to do specialized invoicing based on their particular platform.”
“Wow, that’s quite impressive! How do you sell it or whatever you just said?”
“Initially, I sought out companies and let them try it out. It became one of the most well-known invoicing systems in history. I primarily sell it to Fortune 500 companies.”
“Where do you work?” she asked, amazed by his great success.
“I work for myself. I own Wetzel Software Design. Have you heard of it?”
“No, it doesn’t ring a bell.” She bit her lip and thought for a moment, “Actually, I believe I’ve seen it in the paper. Do you publicly trade it on the stock market? I kind of recall seeing something about the shares splitting since the company was experiencing rapid growth.”
He nodded, “You’d be correct.” Feeling as though they’d talked enough about him, he wanted out of the spotlight for a moment. “You want to get out of here? Go get some ice cream or something?”
“I’d love to,” Audrey smiled.
“Come on, let’s get out of here.”
Chapter Four
When Chad dropped Audrey off, she was in a daze. She wasn’t sure what to believe. Part of her wanted to believe that he was sincere and had changed his ways, but she didn’t accept that to be true. Like his usual self, he knew all the right things to say and when to say them. I guess that’s why he was always such a ladies man, she thought. Maybe I should just chalk it up to a nice dinner with an old friend. I would kind of like it to be more than that, though. A companion would be nice, someone I could come home to and talk about my day with, someone to cuddle with. Oh, I don’t know what to think. How do I always get sucked into the most ridiculous thoughts and ideas?
The next morning, she rose out of bed and began to get ready for work. Thoughts of Chad and their dinner date from the previous evening plagued her mind as she battled her heart. Pulling her hair into a messy ponytail, she stared at herself in the mirror wondering whether he had any rom
antic intentions or if he was just polite. Around lunch time that afternoon, she received a text message from him that seemed to confirm her thoughts.
Had a great time last night. Can’t wait to do it again. Are you free this weekend?
So, he does have some romantic intentions, she smiled. That must have been why he brought the roses; I should’ve known. I had a great time, too! Probably more than I’d like to admit, honestly. Being the type of person that he was in college—when I used to know him—doesn’t give me much hope now. Right now, I’m at a critical point in my life. I need stability. Someone who will be there for me, understand me and not judge me. What would he think if he found out that I’m a recovering heroin addict? He’s definitely made a name for himself, and I doubt that he’d want someone with my image dragging him down. I wouldn’t want to ruin his reputation. I can picture the headlines now, “Billionaire Lusts after Recovering Heroin Addict”. If he found out, would he even want to date me? The moral thing would probably be for me to tell him, but I’d hate for him to judge me right off the bat. It’s not like I’ve always been this way.
I texted him back.
I have to work Friday night on the graveyard shift, but I’m off on Saturday.
He immediately responded.
How about we get together Saturday night? Whatever you want to do.
I replied to his message.
We could do dinner at my place and hang out.
I figured this could be my opportunity to fill him in on my past. He told me so much about him while we had dinner that I hardly had a chance to speak, but I’m kind of glad. Oh, God, could you imagine how that would’ve gone? So you’re a self-made billionaire who established your own software company? Me? Oh, I’m a junky who just got out of rehab and my baby sister felt sorry for me so she gave me a job at the gas station. If I could come clean about my past and explain why and how I became addicted to heroin, maybe he’ll understand. There’s a chance he might not judge me, right?
My phone went off with another text alert. It was him.
I’d love to hang out with you and have a home-cooked meal. I’ll come over around 7 if that’s all right with you.
I replied, once again, and told him that 7 was fine. Now all I have to do is figure out what I should cook. I’ve always been good creating new and exciting dishes. When I went to college, it was hard for me to decide between arts and food. I’d always dreamt of becoming a chef, but my heart was all in arts. I loved drawing, painting, dancing, and music. When we were little kids, I always hated playing cops and robbers or good guy versus bad guy with my sisters. I would’ve rather been painting a picture of the woods on an old canvas easel that my grandma found at a yard sale. My grandma helped me become the person that I am, or was. She was always my inspiration. I can still hear her voice telling me to do what I love and don’t ever let anyone get in my way. I wish I would’ve listened. Had love not taken its toll on me back in college when I met Rob, my life might have turned out much differently. But then I would’ve never had my baby, Alex. I love that little boy more than life itself. When he died, a small part of me went with him into his tiny grave.
Before his funeral, I drew a portrait of him and hung it up inside of his coffin. He was buried in a small black suit with a purple button-down shirt. My parents, especially my dad, told me that I should’ve put him in different clothes. “Boys shouldn’t wear purple,” is what he said. I chose the color purple because they say it represents gentle and kind; that was my boy. He touched everyone’s heart in some small way. If I hadn’t lost him, I would’ve never touched a drug in my life. I’d never had the desire before, but at that time, it helped keep me sane.
After work, I went to the grocery store and browsed their inventory. I’d have to start planning our meal now since I was scheduled to work midnights the next two nights. That was one thing I hated about the gas station. Graveyard shift totally zaps the life out of me. I hate sleeping during the day and I feel less productive. Standing in the meat section, a rack of lamb caught my eye; I hadn’t had it in years. Alex always liked hamburgers and hot dogs, so we ate a lot of that. When he wanted something different, he would pick spaghetti or pizza. After his death, I hardly ate. I grabbed the rack of lamb up and placed it in the cart and decided to make my own glaze to spice it up.
The next few days were uneventful. I worked my dreaded night shifts as scheduled, and hadn’t heard a word from Chad. Suddenly, I found myself wondering if he’d possibly forgotten about our dinner date. My mind told me that he hadn’t. He did, after all, intentionally text me to ask if I was free this weekend, but my heart worried. This is when the old Audrey would’ve went to her dealer and got a couple of envelopes of heroin and made everything shut up, but rehab has shown me a different way of life. I can no longer fall back on drugs when things were complicated or not working in my favor. I have to remain strong and believe in myself. Hopefully, Chad will believe in me too once he’s learned about my past.
Saturday came too fast. Too anxious to sleep, Audrey found herself prepping for that evening’s dinner when she got off work Saturday morning from her graveyard shift. Worried how Chad might react to her past, she carefully chopped each vegetable and measured out all of her ingredients for her particular glaze that would cover the rack of lamb. By 11 AM, she’d exhausted herself enough to fall asleep despite the sun pouring in through her windows and spilling all over her pillows as she closed her eyes. Before going to sleep, Audrey set her alarm clock for 4:30 that afternoon to give herself enough time to shower, shave and begin cooking. Restless in her sleep, she tossed and turned. By the time her alarm clock was sounding, she was ready to get up anyway.
Rolling out of bed, she looked at herself in her dresser mirror. Boy, do I look rough. I’ve got to get showered and get that food in the oven. With any luck, these eye bags might go away before dinner. She preheated the oven before starting her shower. As she bathed, she imagined how she would bring up her past over dinner. “More lamb? By the way, did I mention I’m a recovering heroin addict?” she laughed out loud as she rinsed her hair. That, would not go over very well. There’s also still the possibility that maybe he only wants a casual relationship like we had in the day and the roses were just a nice touch.
Around 6:45, the doorbell rang. Audrey found herself scurrying to the door as if it were her first date. Chad looked stunning. He was wearing a pair of black trousers with an emerald polo shirt that brought out his coffee-brown eyes.
“I’m so glad you made it,” she said, shutting the door behind them as they embraced.
“I’ve been thinking about you all week,” Chad admitted. “What smells so delicious?”
“Rack of lamb with a secret glaze that I made,” she smiled. “And, of course, roasted veggies.”
As the two sat down to dinner, Audrey found herself becoming nervous. Sitting across from Chad, she repeatedly tucked her hair behind her ear as she babbled. Even though the food smelled and looked delightful, she’d lost her appetite as soon as they sat down to talk. It was obvious that her smile was pasted on as she seemed a bit withdrawn. All she could think about was fleeing the situation, avoid telling him about her past and wishing time would speed up.
“What’s wrong?” Chad asked her, picking up on the fact that she seemed distant and not herself.
“Nothing,” she lied.
“Why don’t you tell me about yourself? It’s been a while since we’ve actually seen each other and when we went out the other night, I hogged all of the spotlight.”
She swallowed, even though her mouth was dry. “Where should I start?” she looked at him hopelessly.
“How about college? Where’s Rob, what happened with the two of you?” he suggested, even though he already knew about her son with Rob and Alex’s death. He didn’t want her to know that he knew these things.
“I have to be upfront with you Chad,” she wiped her mouth with a cloth napkin. Carefully refolding it, she avoided eye contact as she continued. “Rob a
nd I became a couple back in college, and I got pregnant. When I learned I was going to be a mom, I dropped out of school. I saw the struggles of my older sister Theresa with her kids, and I wanted the ability to be there for my baby too.”
“I thought I’d heard you were pregnant. You remember Nancy Tiffins and Emily Brockster?” Audrey nodded. “I overheard them talking about whether or not you’d be coming back since you were having a baby.” At this point, this is all that he would fess up to.
“Right. They were some of my closest friends. Gosh, I haven’t talked to them in years,” she said, momentarily reflecting on the last time she saw them. “Anyway, yes, I was pregnant so I quit college. Rob and I were doing okay. I mean, not great, but we were happy. Everything was going smooth when he suddenly announced that he wanted to pursue his career in Washington. He up and left me, and Alex. That was my son’s name.”
Chad nodded as he intently listened.
Addicted (A Billionaire Romance Novel) Page 4