by Ginna Gray
She was right; he had to let go of the past. Deep down, he knew that Tess wasn't Julia. She wasn't anything like Julia. She was sweet and giving, the most unselfish person he knew. Intellectually, he knew he could trust Tess. But emotionally he was always braced for the worst.
It had to stop. He had to put what happened in his first marriage behind him and get on with his life. With their life together.
The door slammed. "Dad? Dad, are you here?"
Before Ryan could answer, Mike burst into the room. He came to a halt in the middle of the floor, breathing heavily.
"What did you do to Tess?" His voice broke in the middle of the accusing demand but for once he was too worked up to be chagrined. He bristled with anger, his young face flushed and fierce. "What did you say to her?"
"Why? What's wrong?"
"She's downstairs in our new apartment. She won't tell Amanda or me what upset her but you can tell she's been crying. All she would say was for us to stop unpacking things because she wasn't sure whether we were going to move after all. What's going on? I thought you wanted to find a bigger apartment."
"I did. We do." Ryan felt a tremendous sense of relief to know that Tess was still there. That was something, at least. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her, especially now that he knew she loved him.
Her uncertainty about their future filled him with guilt. It wouldn't be easy, but somehow he had to convince her that he really did love her. He thought about the problem, land after a moment his jaw hardened. He could start by letting her know that he wasn't giving up.
"Well?" Mike insisted pugnaciously. "If it's not the apartment, then what did you do to upset Tess? And what I are you going to do about it?"
"The problem is between Tess and me. But you're right— I have to do something about it. And I'm going to start right now."
With a purposeful stride, Ryan brushed past his son and went into the living room, where he snatched up the telephone and punched out a number. The instant Reilly picked up his phone, Ryan started talking.
"Good. I'm glad I caught you. I want you to pick up a couple of dollies at the warehouse and get over here, pronto."
"Jeez, Hoss. Whatever happened to saying hello? And what the heck do you want with dollies?"
"Tess found us a new apartment. We're moving tonight. And you're helping."
Reilly groaned. "Ah, man. Gimme a break. I mean, I love you guys, but no way am I spending tonight moving furniture. Sorry, but I got other plans."
"Did I mention that Amanda is here helping?"
A pregnant two-second pause followed.
"I'll be there in twenty minutes."
Chapter 13
Over the next two weeks Tess worked like a demon straightening their new apartment and turning it into a cozy home. She unpacked all the boxes and put everything away, hung pictures, made curtains for Mike's bedroom and, with his help, rearranged the furniture at least a half dozen times.
Even when the place was in apple-pie order she kept up the same pace, inventing projects and doing unnecessary chores just to keep busy. Anything to keep her mind off of the state of her marriage.
The normal routine of their lives had resumed, and on the surface they gave the appearance of a normal, happy couple, but both she and Ryan knew it wasn't so. The basic problem remained unresolved.
Clearing the air had not helped one iota. If anything, they seemed to be growing further and further apart, Tess admitted in desolate moments of painful honesty. They were friendly and polite to each other—excruciatingly so—but the tension was always there, crackling beneath the pleasant facade. Only in the privacy of their bedroom did their true feelings surface.
It was strange, Tess mused one afternoon as she needlessly polished her mother's silverware; the instant the lights went out the terrible constraint between them crumbled. In the darkness they clung to each other, their lovemaking wild and frantic, filled with a silent desperation that stripped away the pretense of the day and revealed their fears.
Adding to the strain, Ryan was seldom home anymore. Night after night he worked late in the Wildwood office, often not getting home until after she had gone to bed. She supposed that immersing himself in work was, for him, as it was for her, a way of escaping the awful strain between them.
They couldn't go on this way. It was unbearable. But she hadn't the slightest idea what to do about it.
The telephone rang and Tess jumped, dropping the fork she was polishing. As she reached for the receiver she wondered if it was Ryan, calling to tell her he would be working late again that night.
''Hello."
''Hello, Tess. It's Charles."
"Charles!" Her eyes opened wide and her hand fluttered to her chest. Oh, dear. She had forgotten all about the Ben-sons. "Well... this is a surprise. How are you?"
"Why are you surprised? I told you I would be back, and here I am, just like the proverbial bad penny."
Tess closed her eyes. He had no idea just how accurate that statement was.
"Actually, I had planned to return much sooner but I got tied up in an international banking deal. I've been in Moscow for the last couple of months. I hope you didn't think that I'd forgotten you?"
"No, no. I didn't think that,"She hadn't thought of him at all.
"Good." Charles's voice dropped, taking on an intimate huskiness. "Would it be possible for you to get a sitter for Molly tonight? We have a lot to discuss. Besides ... I'm anxious to see you again."
"Charles, I'm sorry. I can't."
"Why not? Look, if you can't get a sitter, I suppose I can come over there. We need to talk, Tess."
She sighed and raked her fingers through her hair. "There isn't any point in it, Charles. I can't move to Boston."
"Look, Tess. I realize you're probably still upset about what my parents did. But, sweetheart, I'm sure if you'll just give them a chance to make it up to you we can all put that bit of unpleasantness behind us."
"It isn't that. Look I'm sorry. I should have written to let you know."
"Know what?"
Tess winced.. "That I've remarried."
"What! To whom?" he demanded. "When did this happen?"
"I married Ryan on Christmas Day."
"Ryan? Ryan McCall? That... that roughneck construction worker who lived next door to you? I don't believe it!"
"It's true. And Ryan and his brother own their own company. He's hardly a 'roughneck construction worker.' Not that it would matter to me if he were."
"Oh, Tess, Tess," Charles lamented, ignoring her defense of her husband. "How could you?"
She didn't like his tone. Any guilt she felt for being remiss in notifying him and his parents of her marriage dissolved. "How could I what?" she responded coolly.
"I realize that you've been lonely this past year, but to marry a man like that, when we could have given you so much more. What were you thinking?"
"Marriage isn't about things, Charles. Don't any of you men understand that?"
"But,Tess-"
"No. I don't want to hear any more. I'm sorry if you don't approve but the fact is, I'm married to Ryan now," she said emphatically. The words had no sooner left her mouth, however, when a niggling voice in her head taunted, "But for how long?"
Charles was too much the shrewd negotiator not to know when a method of persuasion had become counterproductive. In the short silence she could almost hear him clamping down on his annoyance and pulling back to regroup. Even so, when he spoke she could hear the stiff disapproval in his voice. "I see. Well, then. I suppose there is nothing left for me to say except to wish you well."
Relenting somewhat, Tess responded in a gentler voice, "Charles, I'm still wiUing to let you and your parents get to know Molly and be a part of her life. You are still her family, after all. That hasn't changed just because I married Ryan."
"How kind of you. I'll be sure to tell them. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to attend. Goodbye, Tess."
"Goodbye, Charles."
Tess hung up the receiver and sighed. Charles was miffed because he hadn't gotten his way, but she knew he wasn't really hurt. Even so, she didn't like upsetting him. The unpleasant conversation might have been avoided if she had only thought to inform the Bensons of her marriage, but she'd had so few dealings with them in the past that she rarely gave them a thought. That didn't excuse the omission, though.
She would write to them now, she decided, heading for the desk. Better late than never.
❧
Leaning back in his desk chair, Ryan absently twisted and untwisted a paper clip.
"Haven't you got anything better to do than mangle that piece of wire?" Reilly asked with a rare touch of impatience. "Like go home to your pretty little wife, maybe?"
Tossing the mutilated paper clip aside, Ryan shot him an annoyed look. "I have to go over those invoices tonight. I think the brickyard may be shorting us."
"The invoices can wait until tomorrow. One day's not going to hurt. Hell, I'll check them myself if it'll get you to knock off on time."
Ryan snorted. ''Who're you kidding? I know you and paperwork." He gave his brother a wry look and reached for the stack of bills.
"For Pete's sake, Hoss, how long are you going to keep this up?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Look, I don't know what's going on between you and Tess, but I've got enough smarts to know it won't get straightened out with you holed up here every night."
"Don't you think I know that?" Ryan snapped. The trouble was, he hadn't a clue how to make things right. He'd been tiptoeing around Tess for two weeks, terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing. So he stayed away as much as he could. It wasn't the answer, but he didn't know what else to do.
He wondered how long Tess's patience would last. Already her usual optimism had all but disappeared and there was a terrible sadness in her eyes that he didn't know how to make go away.
"You wanna tell me about it?" Reilly prodded gently.
Frowning, Ryan picked up the paper clip again and started twisting it. "Tess doesn't believe that I love her," he muttered.
"Well, hallelujah. At least you finally came to your senses and admitted that you do. So, have you tried telling her?"
"Hell yes, I told her. But she says I don't trust her, therefore I can't really love her."
"Mmm. Sounds reasonable to me. So do you? Trust her, that is?"
"With my life," Ryan vowed without a second's hesitation.
"Well then, I guess you'll just have to prove it to her."
"Yeah, right. And just how am I supposed to do tha—"
The sound of a car door slamming cut him off. The brothers exchanged a surprised glance and Reilly got up and went to the window.
"Who is it?" Ryan asked.
"Some slick-looking dude in a Beamer. I sure hope he's not a creditor cause he looks madder than a wet hen."
That was borne out an instant later when Charles Benson burst through the door like an avenging angel.
"McCall, I've got a few things to say to you," he snarled at Ryan the instant he spotted him. Behind Charles, Reilly quietly returned to his desk and settled back to watch the confrontation.
Not by so much as the flicker of an eyelash did Ryan move. Still leaning back, he remained comfortably slouched in his chair, the picture of unconcern. Only the hard glitter in his eyes betrayed his sudden tenseness. "Oh? About what?"
"About Tess and you and this ridiculous marriage. You're despicable, McCall."
"Hey!" Reilly barked, half rising out of his chair.
"Stay out of this," Ryan ordered quietly, never taking his eyes off their visitor. "I can handle Mr. Benson."
"Benson? You mean this is—"
"Charles Benson. Tess's brother-in-law."
Charles did a double take when he noticed Reilly, but he quickly refocused on Ryan. "That's right. And as a member of her family I protest the sneaky, underhanded way you engineered this marriage. You took advantage of a lonely, vulnerable widow, McCall. If you have an ounce of decency in you, you'll release her from this disaster."
Ryan's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Not a chance."
"Damn you. Tess and Molly are Bensons. They belong with my family in Boston, not tied to some Texas ruffian. Molly, after all, is my brother's only child and my parents' only grandchild. And I assure you we can give them much more than you can ever hope to," he added with a sneering look around at the trailer that served as their office.
Ryan's jaw bulged. He managed to keep his voice level but it had a steely edge. "Maybe so. But I'm not giving her up. Not to you or anybody."
The telephone rang before Charles could reply, and Ryan snatched it up. "R & R Construction," he barked into the mouthpiece.
"Ryan?"
The hesitancy in Tess's voice pricked him. With an effort, he struggled for a milder tone but he could not quite erase the grittiness. "Yeah, honey, it's me. Sorry. I didn't mean to bite your head off. Did you need something?"
"I, uh... I was just wondering if you were going to be home for dinner tonight? That's all."
Ryan glanced at Charles. "Yeah. I'll be there by six."
When he hung up, he got to his feet and stared at Charles over the top of the desk. "You've had your say, Benson. Now I think you'd better leave."
Charles hesitated. His jaw clenched, and he glared at Ryan. "All right. I'll go. But I'm warning you, McCall, you haven't heard the end of this."
❧
Tess hung up the telephone slowly. What in the world was wrong with Ryan? Oh, Lord. She hoped there hadn't been another catastrophe. No. No, it couldn't be that. If so, he wouldn't be coming home on time.
Which reminded her; she had better get busy and start dinner.
On the way to the kitchen, Tess paused to toss back into the playpen the toys that Molly had thrown out. Balanced precariously on fat little feet, her chubby fingers clutching the mesh siding of the pen, Molly bounced and crowed with delight.
"I am not doing this for your entertainment you know, Miss Molly," Tess scolded with mock severity.
Gurgling happily, Molly bent her knees, snagged a terry cloth-covered foam rubber block and flung it over the side.
"Why, you little devil." Tess bent down and tickled the baby's tummy. " What do you think I am? Huh? Your personal servant?" Molly squealed as Tess buried her face in the side of her neck and blew hard.
Laughing, Tess straightened and tweaked her daughter's little pug nose. "Now you behave yourself. Daddy's coming home and Mommy's got work to do."
Molly bounced excitedly at the word "Daddy" and started blowing bubbles. Tess's smile turned sad. "I know. You'll be glad to see him. So will I, pumpkin. So will I!"
Leaving Molly playing, Tess went into the kitchen. If only they could get beyond this impasse. Ryan claimed that he loved her, and Tess wanted to believe him. She wanted with all her heart to believe him. But she lived in dread of the next incident or crisis, of what his reaction would be.
Tess started washing vegetables for a salad. Barely halfway through the chore the doorbell rang. She dried her hands quickly and went to answer it.
"Hello,Tess."
"Charles! What're you doing here?"
"I've come to apologize for the way I acted earlier. And, if you don't mind, I would like to see Molly."
"Oh. Well..." The request took her by surprise. Charles had not shown any personal interest in his niece during his previous visit. ''I suppose it would be all right." She stepped aside to let him in.
"You didn't mention that you had moved. The tenant in your old apartment told me where to find you. I hope you don't mind."
"No. No, of course not." Actually his being there made her uneasy. Ryan was not going to be pleased.
Molly, bless her, was sprawled in the playpen taking a little catnap. Tess knew she wouldn't sleep long but she wasn't going to tell Charles that. She wanted him out of there before Ryan got home. ''Oh, dear. I'm sorry, Charles. She's asleep. I would wake her, but when
you do that she's so cranky."
"No, no," he said quickly. ''Don't do that. I can wait until she wakes up."
"Oh. Well... it may be a while..." she began, but the words trailed away when Charles took her hand between both of his.
He looked into her eyes, his gaze filled with warmth and fondness. "Tess, I might as well admit it—I really came to talk to you."
"About what?" she asked cautiously. She tried to ease her hand free, but he held fast.
"Surely you know. I want you to leave this man you married and come away with me."
"Charles! Stop it!"
"Can't you see that you've made a mistake?" he insisted. "You don't belong with McCall. You belong back East with us. You and Molly."
"I want you to leave, Charles. Now." She snatched her hand away but he took her by surprise and pulled her into his arms. "Charles! Have you lost your mind? Let—me— go!" Tess struggled wildly, pushing against his chest and twisting and turning, but she could not break free.
"You know that you're attracted to me, Tess. If you had just given yourself a little more time to get to know me you would never have made this mistake. But it can be rectified. Come back East with me, honey. Let me take care of you." His gaze dropped to her mouth, and his voice grew husky. "Let me love you, sweet Tess."
"No! Charles, no! You can't-"
His mouth clamped over hers, muffling her fierce protest. Shock and anger poured through Tess. She struggled with all her might, pummeling his shoulders and twisting and kicking. She even tried to bite him, but he would not stop. Charles kissed her with a passionate determination that bordered on violence and frightened her. In desperation, she drew back her knee, but she never got the chance to deliver the painful blow.