“I am and it will be.” I pull myself together as I gaze at him with now cold eyes. “If you so much as hint a word of any of this to Tate, I'll move out and I won't look back,” I threaten.
His lips part with shock and his eyes narrow. “You can't be serious, Blayre.”
“Try me.”
“Where would you go?”
“Cole.”
I have no idea if Cole would want a roommate but I am betting he'd consider the idea. Not that I really want to live with Cole, but I can't imagine living in this house with Tate if he ever finds out about the cutting. I've been wondering for weeks if I am here out of some sort of obligation but I've had my answer for a while now. He genuinely cares about me and I know he'd be devastated if he discovered what I do to myself.
Noah's expression is almost scary the way his face tenses up before an eerie glint enters his gaze. “This is not over,” he says calmly before he turns and walks out of my room.
As soon as he's gone, I quickly hurry to my door and slam it shut before locking it. Then I turn and walk over to my bed and fling myself on it. I grab my pillow and scream my frustration into it.
Lonely
Feeling lonely in the world
The following morning I find Noah in the kitchen with Tate and I'm not the least bit surprised. I'd expected this and would have tried to come down later if it weren't for school or the fact that Noah could wait me out until nine-thirty if he wanted to. With my grades the way they were, I was going to have to deal with him this morning because missing anymore classes was not an option.
“Morning,” Tate says from where he's leaning against the counter, reading the paper.
“Morning,” I murmur as I walk past Noah—who is sitting at the island counter eating an omelet. I peer into the fridge and grab the first thing that could pass for breakfast. Which happens to be yogurt, as usual.
“There's an extra omelet in the oven if you want it,” Noah says.
My eyes lift and I look him dead in the eye and say, “No, thanks,” before turning away and grabbing a spoon out of the drawer.
“I was thinking maybe you should invite Paige over for dinner,” my brother says as he sets aside the paper, his attention now focused on me.
“Why?” I ask as I tear open the top of the yogurt and toss the tab in the garbage before dipping my spoon in it. I am aware of Noah watching our conversation closely and I do my best to ignore him. I'm still pissed that he'd gone through my personal belongings and today is the first day that I am officially cutting him out of my life.
“Well, it might help her to get out for a bit and since Blake was never over here, she might find it a bit of a relief,” Tate suggests.
“She's gone.”
“What do you mean she's gone?”
I sigh. “She's leaving this morning to go stay with extended family. She doesn't plan on coming back,” I admit before I shovel some yogurt in my mouth in hopes that he'd drop the subject and just let me eat. I had decided it was best not to tell anyone about Paige's pregnancy. I was hurt by the way she was leaving me but that didn't mean I wouldn't still try to protect her in any way that I could.
“You're telling me that she's gone for good?” Tate asks, his eyes searching mine.
“Yep.”
“I'm sorry, Blayre. I know how much you liked her,” he says as he walks over to me.
I know he's going to try to give me a hug so I dodge him and head for the hallway. “I'm going to be late!” I quickly race upstairs and finish my yogurt in three heaping spoonful’s before entering my room and grabbing my backpack.
When I turn around, I find Noah waiting for me and I shoot him a dirty look. “Stop following me around!”
“Why didn't you tell me last night about Paige?”
“When was I supposed to? Before or after you accused me of cutting myself?”
Frustration flickers across his face. “I know you're mad at me—”
“What clued you in?” I cut in before I brush past him and head down the hall, not bothering to look back at him.
***
The rest of my day is a bit of a nightmare. Everywhere I turn at school, I expect to see Blake and Paige making out either in front of my locker or by the window at the end of our hallway. Not only do I have to deal with their absence but I also have to tolerate the stares and whispers I receive from the rest of the students.
At lunch it is just me and Cole and instead of going to Blackie's, we go to a fast food restaurant. He tries to get me to skip with him because he knows I am on edge, but I force myself to stay at school.
By the time the end of the day rolls around, I am jittery and my nerves are raw as I shut my locker door. When I turn around, I see Cole making his way through the crowd, his green eyes on me. He walks up and his eyes have a knowing glint in them. “Ethan's probably gone. Wanna go get fucked up together?”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” I say as I slip my hand in his.
We make our way down the hall together and as people move out of our way, I feel a bit of eagerness trickle into my veins. I'm looking forward to hours of getting high or drunk with Cole.
Right now, that is exactly what I need.
When we reach the parking lot and pause near my car, Cole leans down and gives me a hard kiss. His hands creep down my lower back towards my ass and his hips press into mine deliberately. I know exactly what he wants and I'm all for it. “I'll meet you there,” I promise when our lips finally pull apart. He gives me a heated look before he turns and strides across the parking lot towards his motorcycle.
Cole manages to make it out of the school parking lot first and by the time I reach his house on the other side of town, he's leaning against the front door on the porch, waiting. I quickly get out of my car and head up the stairs. He immediately slips an arm around me as he opens the door and we step inside. The second the door shuts, Cole's mouth is on mine as he presses me up against the now closed door. His lips are demanding and I like it. I'm so ready to forget all the drama in my life.
My hands lift to his hair as I kiss him back while he grabs the hem of my shirt—yanking at it impatiently. I have no choice but to pull back and lift my arms as he pulls my shirt over my head. He tosses the shirt aside before his arms wrap around me and he shifts me towards the living room, his lips fastened on mine as I walk backwards. The only thing I can think of is the feel of his body and how it would feel rubbing against mine. His shirt needs to go and I tug at it.
He quickly discards it, tossing it aside carelessly before his hands are on my waist and he's pushing me backwards toward the couch. The kiss has turned frantic with anticipation as my hands run over his chest and down towards his belt buckle. Much to my surprise, Cole breaks the kiss and promptly turns me around so my back is to him. I blink with surprise when I find that we are standing at the back of the couch.
“Bend over,” Cole says from behind me.
“Bend over?” I echo before I turn my head to look back at him. “Seriously?”
He gives me a wicked grin and starts unbuckling his belt.
Oh, he's serious all right.
I have a moment of hesitation before I shrug it off and lean over the couch. This is definitely new. I hear the rustle of clothing behind me and the sound of a condom wrapper tearing. Then Cole moves up behind me and his hands reach out to cup my breasts through my bra. My head drops forward, my hair falling in my face as his hands move over my breasts before they slide down to my waist. His hands are quick as they slip under my skirt and he rids me of my panties. Then he lifts my skirt and suddenly thrusts inside me, an appreciative groan escaping him.
My hands tighten on the fabric of the couch as I gaze down at the seat cushions, my lip caught between my teeth as his hips grind into me from behind. It's a little painful since I'm not exactly ready but soon pleasure begins to build and I feel Cole's bare chest press against my back as he leans over me, one of his hands wrapping in my long hair to tangle in it. His hand tightens slig
htly, pulling my head up and back so my throat is bared to his lips. The grip he has on my hair causes a slight sting of pain along my scalp but combined with the pleasure, it's intense. His lips fasten on my neck as he moves faster and I gasp as my body suddenly explodes in shock waves of pleasure as I cry out, my eyes shutting tightly.
Cole's fist tightens in my hair slightly as he lets out a low groan from behind me. Then he goes still, his arm wrapping around my waist tightly as he breathes heavily into my neck. “That was hot,” he mutters.
I feel limp and I let my head drop down once he releases my hair. It falls across my face as I try to regain my senses. I have to admit, sex with Cole is fantastic. We definitely have no problem with the physical side of our relationship.
Someone slowly claps from the doorway of the living room.
My head jerks up as my eyes pop open. Much to my horror, I see Ethan leaning lazily against the living room doorway, a sleazy smile on his face.
Cole's entire body tenses behind me before I feel him pull back and yank my skirt back down. “What the fuck, Ethan!” he snarls as I hear his jeans rustle and the harsh sound of a zipper.
My heart is pounding wildly in my chest as humiliation sweeps through me. The only thing that makes this situation remotely bearable—if that's even possible—is the fact that we were behind the couch, our nudity hidden from Ethan's sight.
Ethan looks amused. “I'm running late today. Good thing too or I would have missed the show.”
“Fuck off,” Cole says coldly and I finally glance at him. His expression is dark as he moves a couple feet away from me and grabs his shirt off the floor before he holds it out to me, his narrowed eyes never leaving his brother.
I quickly grab it and yank it on. Then I make the mistake of looking at Ethan and I see he's looking at me with another leering look. “Like it rough, do you?”
I have to look away as my skin crawls. He just watched me have sex with Cole and I feel violated.
“We'll talk about this later,” Cole says flatly to Ethan before he grabs my hand and pulls me away from the couch. As we walk past Ethan, I refuse to meet his eyes. Cole leads me up to his room where he slams his door shut with force and locks it for good measure.
My arms cross over my chest and I watch as he runs both his hands through his hair as he tries to calm down. I know him well enough by now to know what he's thinking. Cole is incredibly territorial over me and for anyone to watch us have sex...he's beyond pissed. For it to be Ethan of all people makes it all the more worse.
Cole's hands drop and he looks at me, his green eyes disgusted. “I didn't check the garage for his car because I just assumed he was gone. I won't be making that mistake again.”
I nod without saying anything.
We hear a car start up down below in the garage and Cole walks over to his window and stares out it as he watches his brother leave. Finally he turns back and looks at me. “Now we have the house to ourselves,” he says dryly.
***
Later on that evening, I am sprawled on my stomach on Cole's bed as I come down from the high I'd had earlier. My cheek rests against the mattress and my eyes are closed as my mind drifts.
I'm dreading going home tonight. I have no idea why Noah is so hell bent on trying to help me. It feels weird knowing someone cares that much about me and I don't know what to do with it. In fact, it scares me. He knows one of my secrets and I can't believe he's still there, waiting for me to allow him in. Why wasn't he disgusted with me?
The mattress dips as Cole collapses down next to me. My eyes open and I peer up at him—too lazy to lift my head. He's sitting there clad in just a pair of jeans with a bottle of tequila in his hand. His eyes are glazed slightly because he's still high. He ruffles my dark hair with his free hand, his eyes curious. “What put that frown on your face? I thought we were having a good time.”
“We are,” I mumble before I turn over onto my back, my head resting near his jean clad thigh. The sheet has fallen to my hips, baring my breasts to him and I see his eyes focus on them with immediate interest. I grab at the sheet and pull it up over my chest because I'm definitely not ready to go another round.
He sighs with disappointment and lifts the bottle, taking a long drink.
My eyes drift shut again. I wish I could stay here all night but my brother would flip.
“What's the deal? You looked upset.”
“Noah knows,” I mutter.
Cole's thigh tenses next to my head. “Knows what?”
Dang. Alcohol and drugs sure made for loose lips.
“Blayre?”
My eyes open and I peer up into his narrowed green gaze. “He found my razors yesterday.” I might as well tell the truth since Cole already knows about the cutting.
“Razors?” he echoes as he looks down at me blankly.
“Yeah. The razors I use to cut myself.”
“So, what's the big deal? You're eighteen, you can do what you want,” he says as his attention focuses on something at the base of my neck. He reaches up and gently brushes a finger against my skin.
Typical Cole. It's weird how blasé he is when it comes to my cutting. He could care less that I take a blade to myself. He's not disgusted by it but he isn't interested in it, either. It's nice because he makes me feel normal—if that's even possible.
“The big deal is he's suddenly adamant that I need help,” I say flatly as I sit up, my hair toppling over my shoulder as I hold the sheet against my naked body.
Cole peers at me. “Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Need help?”
“No!”
“Then why does it matter? Who cares if he knows?”
“I care. I don't want Tate to know.”
“You're a legal adult now. It's not like they can make you do anything you don't want to do,” he points out as he takes another drink of the tequila. Then he holds it out to me. “Want some?”
I glance toward the clock on his nightstand. It's going on ten. “I'd better not. I have to be home by eleven and I need to be able to drive.”
“Your brother is a dick for giving an eighteen-year-old a curfew.”
I shoot him a look. “That dick is giving me a place to live.”
“Whatever.”
“Why are you so crabby all of a sudden?” An hour ago he'd been laughing and trying to tickle me to death while copping a feel wherever he could.
He sighs and his expression turns brooding. “It doesn't seem real that Blake is gone.”
I feel bad for snapping at him. We'd both gotten high today for pretty much the same reason. To escape reality for a bit. I drop the sheet and move towards him, wrapping my arms around him as I rest my cheek on his bare shoulder. “I'm sorry.”
“I can't believe Paige up and left, either. Not that I care, but I know you two were kind of tight,” he says as his free arm slides around my waist.
“She needs to get away and I understand that. Cole?” I ask, my head lifting as I look at him.
He turns his head and peers at me. “Hmm?”
“Paige knew something was wrong with Blake. Did he come to you at all about what we did?”
Cole's body slowly tenses and his eyes search mine. “Did he tell Paige?”
“No. She has no clue. She just knew that something was wrong with him. I didn't realize he was taking what happened so hard. Did he try to talk to you about it?”
Cole is silent for a moment. “I knew he felt guilty but he didn't really talk to me. Guys don't do that emotional shit you girls tend to do.”
“Do you think he tried to take his own life?”
“I don't know. I wish I wouldn't have gone out of town.”
I reach up with a hand and turn his face back to me so I can kiss him gently on the lips. “It wasn't your fault. I'll tell you the same thing I told her. If he wanted to die, he would have found a way if he was that determined.”
He slowly nods. “Yeah, I get that.”
***
&
nbsp; I make it home on time and immediately head to the bathroom where I run the comb through my hair and brush my teeth. After spending the evening with Cole, I feel better—more relaxed. This is why Cole was still a huge part of my life. He understands me like no one else could and I don't feel the need to hide parts of who I am from him. There are no other secrets hiding in my closet, he's seen it all. He sees who I am and he still wants me.
A huge yawn practically cracks my jaw as I leave the bathroom and walk into my bedroom. After shutting the door, I strip off my shirt in the darkness as I once again become aware of the fact that I'm not wearing panties under my skirt. We'd searched the living room three times before I'd left but my panties were gone. Cole told me Ethan more likely had them and he'd find a way to get them back.
A shiver sweeps through my body as I toss my shirt towards a dirty pile of clothes near my closet door before turning to switch on the light. I was still upset that Ethan had watched us but tonight had been a good distraction. Tomorrow it'll probably haunt me though.
I turn to head towards my dresser and that's when I see him.
Noah is sitting on the edge of my bed, elbows resting on his knees with his fingers lazily twined together. His body posture is casual but his eyes are anything but. His gaze rests on a spot near the base of my neck and his eyes are blazing with anger.
My hand instinctively reaches up to touch the spot he's glaring at. The skin there feels normal.
Noah must see my bewilderment because his lips tighten as he says, “You have a damn hickey. It's pretty obvious what you were up to tonight.”
It takes a lot to make me flush with embarrassment but tonight I feel my face going beat red. I'm not shy about sex, but for Noah to know I've been with Cole tonight...
Not good.
It also dawns on me that I am standing in front of him in my skirt and just my bra. I turn around and stalk towards my dresser where I grab a fresh shirt and yank it on before facing him again. “What are you doing in my room?”
Unraveled (Twisted Series) Page 4