by Vaughn Ashby
“Yes,” Shane said over the sound of the toilets, the neighborhood had been pummeled. “I’d be shaken up more if I didn’t know that he’d wake up fine tomorrow yesterday.”
“Good point,” Pratt yelled back.
The two men watched from behind the couch as the house was taken apart by flying toilets. Another hit the back room of the house, the building shook.
It felt like they were in a war zone and under heavy artillery, “We have to move now, we can’t stay here.” Shane grabbed Pratt’s shirt and ran for the hole in the floor. The couch exploded behind them, they might not have been directly hit, but it would have been fucking close.
Shane looked, saw the hole in the floor, and dropped down into the basement, Pratt followed. The sounds of the toilet bombardment echoed as they fell and landed on the dirt floor. They landed hard in the dirt, Shane rolled to his back and looked up. The house seemed to be mostly gone above them. He could see the sky and thought of Kristen. When they were younger they’d often laid out on the hill behind his parent’s house. With no places of there own to go to they were stuck with the great outdoors. A blanket and cuddles were often the order of the day. Now laying in the dirt basement, Kristen dead, looking up at the stars, he truly missed her. The stars looked different without her.
He considered just laying there, letting a flying toilet crash through the floor and splatter him, then he could be with her.
Pratt spoiled whatever personal introspective moment he was having with his yells. Shane sat up and looked around the room. Pratt was next to him, it looked like he’d hit his head on the way down. He rubbed his eyes and squinted into the dark.
There was Jason looking back at him. He was slumped next to some machine, blood covering his clothing. He was pale and hardly moved, then he and Shane made eye contact.
Shane ran towards him, Jason’s phone laid on the floor next to him. His eyes were clouded over.
“You shit sipping fritta, we’ve been looking for you,” Shane checked Jason’s pulse. It was only a day. It felt like forever since he’d seen him. Somehow it felt like this made everything else that happened ok, even if it didn’t, it was some sort of release. Shane smiled at him, Jason tried to but couldn’t. “Your brother’s here too, he…” Shane turned to check on Pratt. Jessica stood over him.
She waved a queen’s wave, fingers together and an ever slight wrist turn. Then she reached down, her hand passed through Pratt’s chest. He screamed, then smiled at both Shane and Jason, slowly she crushed Pratt’s heart inside his chest. Pratt’s mouth ran red and screamed worse than either Shane or Jason had ever heard.
Shane started towards Pratt, but Jason grabbed his arm, “No.” He said in a feeble voice.
“He’s right you know,” Jessica said. She walked towards them, kicking Pratt’s bag out of the way. Her hand covered in red.
“What’s that?” Shane asked. The woman looked familiar but he couldn’t place her.
“There is no point in fighting it. I’m going to kill you, then I’m going to plug him into that thing,” she gestured to the generator next to Jason. “Then we’ll all be one big happy family.”
“He’s already got a family, he’s got a daughter, who would like to see her daddy again.”
Jessica was able to pull back a little, ease up on the role that was taking her over, “I know, but I can’t help it. I’ve got to play my part, just like he will. There’s no way out now anyway. The house has already moved and the people won’t let you leave.”
“People?” Shane was interested but tried to remember what exactly was happening.
“You’ll find out soon enough,” she said kicking Nicole’s spray out of her way. It had been down there for years and sported a lovely dust cover to it. Shane watched the spray slide across the floor.
“I can get him out of here.”
“No, I need him.”
Shane spotted Pratt’s bag on the floor and slowly moved towards it. He avoided the two large pits on the floor as he circled around Jessica to get to it. She watched every move closely. Jason watched them both, unable to move, barely able to stay awake and lucid.
“You don’t understand,” Jessica couldn’t keep holding back. “This has to happen.” She grabbed the man sitting in the chair next to the generator, Shane hadn’t even noticed him. She pulled a cable from the man and he dropped to the floor. She held the rusty sharp looking cable in her hand and moved towards Jason.
“No no no,” Shane grabbed the duffle bag and pulled the severed head out. “Use this.”
“What the fuck is that?” Jessica said, she’d started to lose control again.
“What the fuck are you?” the head said as Shane held it up by the hair.
“I…” Jessica couldn’t take her eyes off the head.
“Why don’t you come over here a second?” the head said, gesturing the best he could with his eyes.
“Ok,” she dropped the cable and quickly moved towards Shane. She scooped the head from his hand and wrapped her arms around him. His face buried in her breasts. She laughed.
Shane watched very confusedly, “What the fuck is happening here?”
“I have this effect on women, it doesn’t last long, but they become so infatuated with me.”
“But you’re a severed head…”
“I know, right? I’ve got these glands or something that makes women fall for me, pheromones I believe they are called. The best thing is that they also make her forget all about me after.”
“Oh, classy,” Shane said moving towards Jason. “How long can you keep her like this?”
“Not long, since I’m just a head now.” He said as the house rumbled around them. “I don’t know if that matters anyway.” It shooked harder this time. With no one actively feeding the generator, the loop was broken and they were untethered.
Shane tried to pick Jason up, but where was he going to take him? He turned back to the head to ask for ideas, but he and Jessica were, well… how to say this… getting busy, well as busy as you can be when you’re just a severed head anyways. Shane turned back to Jason who was pointing at something across the room. He followed the direction he was pointing, something was laying on the floor. He ran over and grabbed it. Bear spray. He ran back, kissed Jason on the forehead and ran for the staircase.
The house shooked again as he tried to climb up. The quakes were getting far more violent and frequent. Shane cleared the last step and found most of the house was decimated by the toilet attack. Massive holes covered the house. He was amazed that it was even still standing.
Jessica laughed and giggled from below. He better hurry. He climbed through the wreckage of the house, and out to the street. He ran to the car taking in just how much damage had been done to the neighborhood. The shadows were growing long on the house as the sun set. They all seemed to have exactly the same damage done to them. Probably because they were all the same house he figured. A quick glance down the street showed the subdivision went on much further than before. The exact same toilet damaged house lined the streets to the horizon in all directions.
Shane grabbed the door and pulled, thank god cars from the 80s didn’t lock their doors after a couple minutes like the cars do now. He popped the trunk and started rummaging through Smith’s things. Finally, he found the spray paint, and other supplies he needed.
Turning to run back to the house he got the feeling that he wasn't alone. The sun now down he squinted through the dark down the street. With all that was happening to notice the fact that the sun had set at a record pace was a wash over him. Through the darkness, he could see people making their way down the block. Lots of people, they filled the street.
While not a connoisseur of horror movies Shane knew enough to know this probably wasn't the calvary, well at least his calvary.
Holding all three items in his hands, he ran back to the house. The ground shook again, only this time Shane noticed houses on the horizon drop. They seem to fall off the edge of the world. The peopl
e coming down the street ran faster, towards him. He ran a little quicker too.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
2014 Shane: Portal Supplies
In college, Shane had learned to juggle to impress the ladies at the quad. The skill hadn't proved useful then, he'd got a total of one phone number and it was a fake. No one likes a juggler. Well, no one wants to date a juggler anyways. The skill now while not exactly the juggling he'd learned back then, was still coming in useful. Holding the portal supplies, he climbed back through the rubble of the house. He regretted carrying the bear spray with him now, but he hadn’t wanted to chance losing it.
After navigating the toilet massacre remains on the main level of the house he found the stairs. All this while constantly checking over his shoulder for those people, and the world around him shaking, and basically falling apart.
Stumbling on the last step he finally made it back to the basement. The sounds coming from Jessica's mouth suggested her and the severed head were well, having fun. But between the shaking house, and his constant internal monologue telling him to hurry up, the orgasmic screams were lost on him.
He crossed the room, again avoiding the pits. Lucky for him the world held steady while he crossed between them. Falling in there looked like a game over move. He couldn't see the bottom and really didn't want to know what was down there.
Jason slumped against the generator, his clothes now stained dark and his skin pale beyond pale.
Shane collapsed next to Jason, his hand fell on his shoulder. "Hold on there cock knocker."
No reply from Jason, his eyes were open but he just looked down at the floor. Remembering something about making people stay awake or something when they were really hurt, Shane shook his shoulder.
Again there was no response.
“Wake up Jason,” Shane shook him again. “Come on, you can't fucking die.” Shane shook him harder. “No, fuck. Come on. After what…” Shane trailed off.
He checked Jason's pulse, it was gone. He thought about trying CPR. But unfortunately, it doesn't pump the blood back into your body. Shane sat in front of him and leaned towards Jason who was still leaning against the generator. Shane pressed their foreheads together. “I’m sorry man, this whole thing has been one big fuck up.”
The ground shrilled again. The air vibrated around him. He could see the shadows of those people moving upstairs. He could hear the earth giving away around the house.
He looked down at the ingredients he'd gathered from Smiths car. No point now, it was best he stayed to the end. Shane closed his eyes and thought of Kristen.
“She wouldn't want you to give up you know,” a voice said from behind him.
He opened his eyes and turned. It was Jessica standing there nude holding the severed head in her arms. “What?”
“Kristen, she'd want you to go, also you should have hit that more.”
She was right, about the not dying like this. Well, she was right about the other stuff too.
“Get your ass in gear,” the severed head said. “Long story short, she's going to start remembering stuff soon and forgetting the last ten minutes or so. There's a good chance you won't remember it either. But men are only 50/50 so you might. Either way, I don't care.”
Shane jumped to his feet and grabbed the portal supplies. He painted on the wall. A couple brushes back and forth was all he had, it covered about a two foot by two-foot patch of the basement wall. Then he seasoned the wall, he imagined Gordon Ramsey yelling at him to add more seasoning, so he put it all up on the wall.
Originally people had been trying to create portals to just get them from point A to point B. But no one had ever had any luck. The closest they got was this exact combination except they used pepper spray. And while it didn’t create a portal, it did create something similar to a broken phone line. People could hear sounds but only one way. They knew they were onto something. At one point someone used bear spray instead of pepper spray and well, changed the game.
Shane popped the safety on the spray, he took one last look at Jason. “Sorry, buddy.” Another huge shake and he could see the house next door fall through the basement window. He heard a scream and saw Jessica ripping the severed head in half as if it was a piece of paper. Then she looked at him. Her eyes looked like they were on fire.
He pulled the trigger and sprayed the wall. The portal flickered to life and he dove in. Jessica moved towards him but it was too late he was already in. She looked through the hole confused as to just what it was.
Shane landed on the dusty ground and turned to see if she would follow him. She hadn’t, before she had a chance to act the whole house dropped just like every other house on the block.
The look of terror on Jessica's face said it all. She gripped the side of the portal as the house fell away to oblivion. Then the portal, at least on Shane's end, shattered like a broken mirror. He’d never seen one break before. He didn’t know they could.
The view of the house shattered. He could only imagine just where it was, Jessica, the people, and the house were gone. But honestly, he didn’t give a fuck.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
2014 Shane: Dusting Off Up To The Sky
Shane laid back and looked up at the sky. It looked different. The air felt different, lighter maybe. The dirt that covered the ground seemed to be dusting off up to the sky. He'd seen the view of this place more than a couple times, but he'd never actually stepped through. Jason had peaked through once, but not Shane. It looked different from this perspective.
The horizon seemed closer than normal. Maybe where ever the portals led has a smaller circumference then earth. Was this a different planet? He’d never considered that, he’d assumed it was a different dimension, or something along those lines. From the other side of the portal, he’d thought this place looked like what he imagined Hell looked like, kind of hard to judge until you’re in it. Now it just looked different, still Hellish, kind of.
He laid there just taking it all in. As far as he knew he was the only person here. He really wished he wasn't. He closed his eyes and imagined them all joking about how they just survived that crazy shit house. Kristen would be cuddling against him as they laid there. Maybe even Smith and whoever he was trying to save would be here too, reminiscing about whatever the fuck.
His eyes opened and closed, he wanted to cry. He was alone. He was alone and stuck where ever here was. He sat up and stared at the portal. No chance of going back through that. He stared at the edges of the portal, funny how the edge of what's normal and unreal, can be so thin.
He laid back down and returned his gaze to the stars. Suddenly he felt funny. That strange sense that someone was watching him was screaming at him. He slowly moved from his back to a crouch and scanned the horizon. But that damn horizon line was so close, anything could be on top of him quickly. Then something was.
Shane's eyes went large and he turned to run. The giant spider, he forgot all about it. Trying to keep his eyes on it he bumped his shoulder on the portal. It knocked him to a knee. Between the horizon and the bump, it was enough. The spider was on him. After all this, he going to be eaten by a spider. He tried to roll away but the thing pinned his arms. He squirmed and kicked but the spider held him tight. Slowly it moved its massive head toward him. With that many limbs, it had more than enough to rip him apart.
Shane stared at it, trying to pick which set of eyes to look in. It's hard to establish dominance when you have to dominate that many eyes. Finally, he picked a pair and went with it.
The spider just stared back at him, it's mouth slowly opening, revealing way too many teeth. Row upon rows of teeth. Shane imagined that this was what the mouth of a shark looked like, not that he'd even seen one, in person anyways. This spider thing had way too much of everything.
Finally, the mouth was open wide enough to devour Shane's head in one bite. He waited for the chomp that would end him. He could just die and who knows maybe there is an afterlife, and he could see everyone he'd just let down
there. Kristen, damn it. He was ready.
Then the spider let go. Shane laid there for a second, confused. Then he moved back, and away from the beast, putting the portal between them.
Shane imagined the spider saying something clever like his spider-sense was tingling or something. The giant thing took off running. Shane watched, shrugged, and took off after it.
For a giant hell spider, it ran slower then he imagined it would, he caught up to it rather quickly, but he kept his distance. Apparently having so many legs isn't always a good thing.
After only a minute of running the broken shattered portal was already out of sight. Shane looked around, he was in a fucking wasteland, no easy way to find his way back, or anywhere.
Finally, he saw what the spider had been running to, another portal. Actually dozens of them. But they all seemed to be painted over on the other side. But here, they just hung in the air like pictures. Dust brushing past them as it floated away.
The spider seemed to be running towards one portal in particular. Shane followed, slower now, cardio really should be rule number one for everything in life.
The spider grabbed the side of the portal and climbed through. It was open, Shane smiled only briefly. Did he really want to go back anyway? Staying here and dying would be, well, it would be closure. He slowed his jog to a walk as he approached it. Maybe he didn't want to go back to a world that had a demon spider in it now. No, maybe he should go back, someone had to look out for Anna. Shit, Anna lost her dad and uncle. Fuck a duck, shitty day.
Shane looked through the portal. There was Travers tied to some kind of post, naked.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
1982 Moe: I Don’t Think I Can
For years I wasn’t me, I sat down there in that basement, attached to that machine. Something happened to me. It’s like I had to share myself with something else. I wasn’t all me but I wasn’t all it either. The house and I were one. What I felt and knew, weren’t always what I felt and knew, you know what I mean? When I made choices or thought it was me making them, only it wasn’t. Even if most of those choices felt like they were me, they weren’t. None were.