by Gina Dartt
Kate frowned. “Doctor, she seemed...very confused while being put in the ambulance.”
“Yes, she suffered a certain amount of shock from her ordeal, and she did sustain a mild concussion, but she’s lucid now and her pupils are fully responsive. She’ll have a bit of a headache for a few days, but she should be fine. If she displays any other symptoms, you can always bring her back in.” He patted Nikki absently on the shoulder and left them in the cubicle.
Nikki reached for her jacket. “Did you and Rick talk to Margaret?”
Kate resisted the urge to sigh. “Rick arrested her for the murder of Sam Madison and Katherine Rushton, not to mention attempting to murder you.”
“Did she confess?” Nikki’s eyes were wide.
“Something like that.” For a moment, it occurred to Kate to wonder what would have happened had something not tipped her off, if Margaret had been allowed to pull the weapon from the drawer. Would she have turned around and shot both Rick and herself? Suddenly, Kate felt the floor become unsteady beneath her feet, and rather than put a steadying hand on Nikki, she had to cling to her lover for support.
“Are you all right?” Nikki asked, clearly anxious.
Kate brushed at her face, feeling chilled. “Just...tired, I guess,” she said weakly. “It’s been a long day.”
“That’s for sure.” Nikki exhaled heavily, as if glad it was finally over. “Where are you parked?”
Kate stared at her, then shut her eyes. “I’m not.” Sighing in aggravation, she turned around and, with Nikki in tow, began to search for the nearest phone to call a taxi.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Nikki silently regarded the simple silver chain with the heart-shaped pendant set with stones that looked very much like diamonds. Before she had eavesdropped on the conversation at the Tidal Watch Inn, she would have assumed they weren’t, if she had thought about it at all. Now she knew they were the real thing and probably cost a fortune, particularly since the necklace came in a box from Judith’s Jewelry. She swallowed hard. “I can’t accept this,” she said, dropping the chain back into the container and pushing it away from her, across the table to where Kate sat.
They had been having brunch at the table still elegantly set for the night before, drinking orange juice from crystal glasses, the candles flickering fretfully in the sunshine pouring through the apartment windows. After returning from the hospital the night before, Nikki had taken a shower before they went directly to bed, falling asleep in each other’s arms and not waking until late morning. Nikki felt considerably better after a good night’s sleep, but this gift reminded her of the previous day and how she had felt upon hearing about Kate’s standing in the town.
Kate appeared hurt and disappointed at Nikki’s reaction. “Why not?”
“It’s too expensive.”
“I can afford it.”
“I know you can,” Nikki said, stung. “That’s the problem.”
Kate sat up a little straighter. “Why?”
“You’re rich.” Nikki said it as if it were some sexually transmitted disease Kate had neglected to mention.
Kate put down her fork, as if she needed both hands to deal with Nikki’s reaction. “Maybe I should have mentioned I have money. I didn’t think it would be that important to you.”
“Of course it is.” Nikki threw down her napkin and stood up. “You have money coming out your ears! I barely have two cents to rub together!”
“I’m still the same person I was before you knew I was financially solvent.” Kate rose to her feet. “What’s changed?”
Nikki inhaled deeply, unable to answer. “Why did you hide it from me?”
“I didn’t hide it.” Kate spread out her hands, indicating the tasteful yet simple apartment. “This is how I live, Nikki. What’s different?”
“You should have told me,” Nikki repeated stubbornly.
“You act as if having money is a crime,” Kate said, frowning. “Or some form of moral defect. It’s not. All money is...all it’s ever been...is a tool, and how one uses the tool is up to them. I don’t deny that some people use their money as a form of power, but I’ve never believed in living extravagantly or flaunting how much I have. I don’t understand why you’re so upset.”
Nikki looked away, unable to define why she felt so hurt, only knowing that she did. “Because it’s one more thing that I can’t share with you!” She gestured angrily at the necklace on the table. “How do you think I feel when you give me something like that? I can’t afford those sorts of things. I certainly can’t give them to you in return.”
“I don’t expect you to,” Kate said, obviously searching for words. “Do you think that I was any less touched by the bear that you gave me the night you met Susan than if it had been covered in diamonds?”
“You probably thought it was cheesy,” Nikki said, tears stinging her eyes, finding it difficult to swallow past the lump in her throat. “Susan probably laughed at it. A cheap, stupid bear from the cheap, stupid girl her friend is playing with.”
Kate looked as if Nikki had just struck her.” How dare you,” she said, her eyes shining, her color high. “How dare you dismiss me as some kind of superficial, petty woman who believes a person’s worth is measured by their bank account. How dare you dismiss Susan, probably one of the kindest people I know, as having the same kind of shallow, uneducated beliefs? Having money doesn’t make me a better person than anyone else, Nikki Harris, but not having it doesn’t make you better either!”
“That’s not what I meant,” Nikki retorted, stung by the anger in her lover’s voice and the hurt in the eyes. She wanted to say more, to express what she meant, to explain all the reasons she felt unworthy of Kate. She wanted to express all the fears and insecurities that made her scared to death that Kate would suddenly realize that she was wasting her time.
Instead, she did what she always did when she was hurt and frustrated and didn’t understand what was wrong. She burst into tears, completely unable to stop the helpless sobbing. It had always been her biggest downfall. Others became magnificent in their wrath, in their pain, transformed into dignified, formidable powers to be respected. Kate was like that, but Nikki simply dissolved into a helpless puddle of sobbing and mucus. Dimly, she was aware of Kate gently grasping her wrists and drawing her hands away from her face, then leading her to the sofa.
“Shh, darling, I’m sorry,” Kate said, sounding somewhat helpless herself as she drew her down onto the cushions. She gently removed Nikki’s glasses and placed them on the table, reaching up with tender fingertips to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I didn’t mean to hurt you by giving you the necklace.”
Nikki tried to pull away, knowing everything wasn’t all right but unable to articulate her feelings. Kate tightened her embrace, and though Nikki was larger and undoubtedly stronger, she was unable to break the hold.
“Listen to me,” Kate said. “I know you feel, for whatever reason, that money puts a gulf between us, but it doesn’t, Nikki. Honestly, if our positions were reversed, and you were the one with money, would you think I was a lesser person because I didn’t have as much as you? Worse, would you believe you would be incapable of love or that I was somehow not worth loving? Do you understand how ridiculous that is?”
Nikki sniffed, finding it hard to catch her breath as she nodded wordlessly, unable to deny the logic of the questions. She knew if she suddenly came into money, she’d be dispensing it to all her friends and family, showering them with gifts and assistance whenever she could. Furthermore, she’d feel as if she was free to love whoever she chose, unafraid of what society might do to her. “I wouldn’t give you a gift that made you feel bad.”
“Oh, love, is that why you think I gave you the necklace?” Kate whispered. “I gave it to you because it was beautiful, and you’re beautiful, and you deserve beautiful things. It wasn’t to make you feel bad, and I’m so profoundly sorry that it did. I gave it to you for the same exact rea
son you gave me the bear. I gave it out of love. I love you, Nikki, with all my heart. Why do you think there’s some kind of price tag on that? Where do you get the idea there’s some kind of contest involved?”
Unable to reply, Nikki wrapped her arms around her lover and sobbed until she couldn’t breathe. She had believed that money would somehow put an inaccessible chasm between them, and it hurt to know she was the one actually afraid to bridge that gulf, a result of her irrational fear that she wasn’t worthy of this elegant, beautiful woman. It wasn’t an easy thing to admit to herself, and it took an effort to realize she was the one actually judging others based on their financial worth, particularly herself.
“It’ll be all right,” Kate said softly, stroking her hair. “We’ll work through this, Nikki. I promise.”
“I hate it when I get like this,” Nikki muttered finally, wiping ineffectually at her face.
“Like what?”
“I fall to pieces,” she said shamefully. “I can’t say or do anything. I just bawl like a baby.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Kate told her, kissing her temple. “You’re just experiencing what you feel and expressing it.”
“It makes me look stupid.”
“No, it makes you look like you’re frightened and hurt,” Kate said gently. “So much so that it gets the better of you. It’s probably to be expected after last night and whatever else that’s going on that seeing the necklace triggered.” She tightened her embrace. “Why do you think it’s wrong to display your pain with tears?”
Nikki sniffed. “I don’t know. It makes me look weak when all I can do is cry.”
“That’s a male thing, you know,” Kate noted conversationally. “Men came up with that one so that they could dismiss any arguments from women. If you really feel for something, then you must be lesser for it. If you show how you feel, then obviously you’re too emotional to think clearly.”
“Not just men,” Nikki murmured, thinking of how Anne had taken advantage of her in their arguments, how she grew colder and more contemptuous as Nikki became more emotional. Kate didn’t do that, she realized, hiccoughing a little. She kept trying to find a way to communicate so they could work out their problem, no matter how upset Nikki became.
“No, but the society which forms us is patriarchal, like it or not,” Kate said as Nikki tried to work out her tangle of emotions, the small talk granting her a bit of distance even as Kate continued to hold her tightly. “So expressing emotion is always perceived as being a flaw somehow. The truth is when you recognize and understand your feeling, and exactly where it’s coming from, rather than trying to hide or suppress it, you’re better able to deal with it.” She kissed Nikki’s cheek gently. “Where do you think this is coming from?”
“I don’t know,” she said, still ashamed. “From being poor, I guess. I know money doesn’t make you happy, but sometimes it’s so hard not to have any at all.”
Kate put a finger beneath Nikki’s chin and lifted it so that she was looking at her. “Do you honestly believe that my having money makes me better than you or your parents, or your friends?”
Nikki found it hard to look in her eyes. “No.”
“Do you think that your not having money somehow makes you less in my eyes?”
Nikki hesitated, then whispered, “No.”
“Do you think that people shouldn’t love each other because of who they are, or what gender they happen to be, or what they do for a living?”
“Of course not.” Nikki inhaled deeply. “I know what you’re trying to show me.”
“Yes?” Kate prompted, her dark eyes gleaming with wisdom and love.
“You’re trying to show me that I judge my own worth in financial terms. That by becoming angry at your present, then it’s really me who thinks I don’t deserve it, that I don’t think I’m worth what you paid for it.”
“I wasn’t thinking that exactly, but all right. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, Nikki. Not with how I live or by what I’m able to give you because I can afford it. Yet at the same time, I have money, and it’s not going away. All other things being equal, I know in purely logistical terms it’s better to have money than not have it. I’m not about to give it up or turn my back on it.” Kate frowned, a small line appearing between her thin brows. “I honestly don’t know what to do, Nikki. I want to give you nice things, but it’s because you’ve given me so much, not because I think you’re lacking without them. Does that make sense?”
“Yes,” Nikki said. “I’m sorry. The necklace is...really beautiful. I just...it hurts me that I can’t give you nice things back.”
Kate inclined her head toward the box that remained unopened on the table. “I’m certainly glad Kim and Lynn discovered your gift for me in the backseat of their car, and it was extremely nice of them to take the time to drop it by this morning. I can’t wait to open it.” She paused. “Tell me, what percentage of your total worth does the cost of the gift you gave me represent?”
Nikki winced, realizing where Kate was going with the question. “Far more than your gift probably does,” she admitted bashfully, thinking of the lightweight sleeping bag and backpack that were of far better quality than anything she had ever purchased for herself.
“Am I supposed to become angry with you because you gave far more of yourself financially than I was able to give you?”
“No, I want you to be happy and pleased with the gift. I guess I have a lot to learn.”
“We both do,” Kate said, kissing her on the forehead. “We’re going to make some mistakes in the process.”
“You’re right.” Nikki swallowed audibly. “I’m afraid people will think I’m only with you because of your money.”
Kate lifted a brow and looked skeptical. “I’m sure some people will think I’m only with you just because you’re so young and gorgeous,” she countered. “They’d be wrong on both counts.”
Nikki hesitated. “What do you believe?”
“I don’t think you seduced me for my money. It was because of my books. A reader like you? You definitely seduced me for my books.”
Nikki managed to laugh. “I hadn’t thought of that,” she said, pulling Kate close. “You’re probably right, though. There’s something about having all those books downstairs...”
Kate laughed too, hugging her back. “Are we all right now?”
“Yes.” Nikki sighed. “I’ll try not to be so stupid about this anymore.”
“I promise to think about the next gift I give you a little more carefully,” Kate said. “If I want to give you something...extravagant, then I’ll talk to you first. But will you consider any gift on its own merits rather than by its cost?”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning this is our first Valentine’s Day together.” Kate tilted her head, her eyes gentle as she looked up into Nikki’s face. “I’ve never had anyone I could give a present like this to...one that has all the traditional implications of love. I just...I would really like you to keep it.”
“Where would I wear it?” Nikki was thinking that she also didn’t have anything nearly fine enough to wear that would begin to match the necklace.
“The Historical Society dinner,” Kate said promptly. “I want you to attend with me...as my date.”
“Oh, boy.” Nikki felt as if she had been punched in her stomach. “You just want to rub it in everyone’s face, don’t you?”
“I want people to know I love you, Nikki. Just as I would if I had met and fallen in love with a man. I’m not ashamed of you. I’m proud to have you in my life. Is it wrong to want to show you off?”
“It’s not wrong. It just might not be very smart.” She exhaled loudly, as if emphasizing her point. “You have to pick your spots, Kate.”
“I know. I’m picking this one...the Historical Society dinner.”
“I never knew you would...want to flaunt the pink triangle.”
“There are probably a lot of things you’ll be discover
ing about me.”
Nikki leaned forward and kissed her. “I think you’re right. I also think I’m going to love finding them out.”
Epilogue
I’m still not sure I understand,” Susan said, her voice tinny over the phone. “Sam Madison, Terry Bishop, and Katherine Rushton were all in business together?”
“Yes,” Kate said, leaning back on the stool, her back supported by the breakfast bar. “They created a company called Mosaic Estates, intending to turn Edwards House and the surrounding area into a tourist resort. They started by writing ten one-million-dollar checks, backed by a loan from the company. This made them the principal shareholders. Then Rushton began filtering off holdings of some of the biggest clients so they could buy the remaining shares and renovate Edwards House. They were doing fine until they ran into a problem with the lake property. In order to make Gilles sell, Sam had to pay five times the market value, forcing them to use all the rest of their own money, plus borrow on everything they owned. They had to do this to maintain their share percentage. They had become quite greedy as they neared the end.”
Kate knew that Susan was no financial wizard, unlike her husband, but she had picked up enough to easily see where this was going. “They were screwed,” she said, obviously in awe that anyone could get themselves in that much trouble. “They stole money, committed fraud, and had big loans they couldn’t pay. The only way out would be to sell the land quick, and who would be in a hurry to buy land on the outskirts of Truro, even with the bloody lake? It would be a huge loss with no hope of covering the mess they created.” She paused. “That isn’t why Sam was murdered, though, was it?”
“No, it came down to a matter of love and hate,” Kate said, sighing. “Sam was going to divorce Margaret. She had gone to his office that night to discuss the financial problems they were suddenly having and saw Rushton there. She hung back and either saw the papers or heard him tell Rushton that his marriage was really over. She waited until Rushton was gone before going in and confronting him. The gun was already there, or she had taken it with her, I’m not sure which, and he ended up shot to death. She used some gas cans from her car to start the fire and then left. Probably, if it hadn’t been winter, she wouldn’t have had the spare cans in her car. When she managed to get away with it and then heard that I had placed Rushton on the scene...though how she heard that, I don’t know...she decided to frame her for the crime, thus getting her revenge on everyone while playing the wronged widow.”