Complete Plays, The

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Complete Plays, The Page 67

by William Shakespeare


  His nephew’s levies; which to him appear’d

  To be a preparation ’gainst the Polack;

  But, better look’d into, he truly found

  It was against your highness: whereat grieved,

  That so his sickness, age and impotence

  Was falsely borne in hand, sends out arrests

  On Fortinbras; which he, in brief, obeys;

  Receives rebuke from Norway, and in fine

  Makes vow before his uncle never more

  To give the assay of arms against your majesty.

  Whereon old Norway, overcome with joy,

  Gives him three thousand crowns in annual fee,

  And his commission to employ those soldiers,

  So levied as before, against the Polack:

  With an entreaty, herein further shown,

  Giving a paper

  That it might please you to give quiet pass

  Through your dominions for this enterprise,

  On such regards of safety and allowance

  As therein are set down.

  King Claudius

  It likes us well;

  And at our more consider’d time well read,

  Answer, and think upon this business.

  Meantime we thank you for your well-took labour:

  Go to your rest; at night we’ll feast together:

  Most welcome home!

  Exeunt Voltimand and Cornelius

  Lord Polonius

  This business is well ended.

  My liege, and madam, to expostulate

  What majesty should be, what duty is,

  Why day is day, night night, and time is time,

  Were nothing but to waste night, day and time.

  Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,

  And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,

  I will be brief: your noble son is mad:

  Mad call I it; for, to define true madness,

  What is’t but to be nothing else but mad?

  But let that go.

  Queen Gertrude

  More matter, with less art.

  Lord Polonius

  Madam, I swear I use no art at all.

  That he is mad, ’tis true: ’tis true ’tis pity;

  And pity ’tis ’tis true: a foolish figure;

  But farewell it, for I will use no art.

  Mad let us grant him, then: and now remains

  That we find out the cause of this effect,

  Or rather say, the cause of this defect,

  For this effect defective comes by cause:

  Thus it remains, and the remainder thus. Perpend.

  I have a daughter — have while she is mine —

  Who, in her duty and obedience, mark,

  Hath given me this: now gather, and surmise.

  [Reads] ‘To the celestial and my soul’s idol, the most beautified Ophelia,’— That’s an ill phrase, a vile phrase; ‘beautified’ is a vile phrase: but you shall hear. Thus:

  [Reads] ‘In her excellent white bosom, these, &c.’

  Queen Gertrude

  Came this from Hamlet to her?

  Lord Polonius

  Good madam, stay awhile; I will be faithful.

  [Reads] ‘Doubt thou the stars are fire;

  Doubt that the sun doth move;

  Doubt truth to be a liar;

  But never doubt I love.

  ‘O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers;

  I have not art to reckon my groans: but that

  I love thee best, O most best, believe it. Adieu.

  ‘Thine evermore most dear lady, whilst

  this machine is to him, Hamlet.’

  This, in obedience, hath my daughter shown me,

  And more above, hath his solicitings,

  As they fell out by time, by means and place,

  All given to mine ear.

  King Claudius

  But how hath she

  Received his love?

  Lord Polonius

  What do you think of me?

  King Claudius

  As of a man faithful and honourable.

  Lord Polonius

  I would fain prove so. But what might you think,

  When I had seen this hot love on the wing —

  As I perceived it, I must tell you that,

  Before my daughter told me — what might you,

  Or my dear majesty your queen here, think,

  If I had play’d the desk or table-book,

  Or given my heart a winking, mute and dumb,

  Or look’d upon this love with idle sight;

  What might you think? No, I went round to work,

  And my young mistress thus I did bespeak:

  ‘Lord Hamlet is a prince, out of thy star;

  This must not be:’ and then I precepts gave her,

  That she should lock herself from his resort,

  Admit no messengers, receive no tokens.

  Which done, she took the fruits of my advice;

  And he, repulsed — a short tale to make —

  Fell into a sadness, then into a fast,

  Thence to a watch, thence into a weakness,

  Thence to a lightness, and, by this declension,

  Into the madness wherein now he raves,

  And all we mourn for.

  King Claudius

  Do you think ’tis this?

  Queen Gertrude

  It may be, very likely.

  Lord Polonius

  Hath there been such a time — I’d fain know that —

  That I have positively said ’Tis so,’

  When it proved otherwise?

  King Claudius

  Not that I know.

  Lord Polonius

  [Pointing to his head and shoulder]

  Take this from this, if this be otherwise:

  If circumstances lead me, I will find

  Where truth is hid, though it were hid indeed

  Within the centre.

  King Claudius

  How may we try it further?

  Lord Polonius

  You know, sometimes he walks four hours together

  Here in the lobby.

  Queen Gertrude

  So he does indeed.

  Lord Polonius

  At such a time I’ll loose my daughter to him:

  Be you and I behind an arras then;

  Mark the encounter: if he love her not

  And be not from his reason fall’n thereon,

  Let me be no assistant for a state,

  But keep a farm and carters.

  King Claudius

  We will try it.

  Queen Gertrude

  But, look, where sadly the poor wretch comes reading.

  Lord Polonius

  Away, I do beseech you, both away:

  I’ll board him presently.

  Exeunt King Claudius, Queen Gertrude, and Attendants

  Enter Hamlet, reading

  O, give me leave:

  How does my good Lord Hamlet?

  Hamlet

  Well, God-a-mercy.

  Lord Polonius

  Do you know me, my lord?

  Hamlet

  Excellent well; you are a fishmonger.

  Lord Polonius

  Not I, my lord.

  Hamlet

  Then I would you were so honest a man.

  Lord Polonius

  Honest, my lord!

  Hamlet

  Ay, sir; to be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man picked out of ten thousand.

  Lord Polonius

  That’s very true, my lord.

  Hamlet

  For if the sun breed maggots in a dead dog, being a god kissing carrion,— Have you a daughter?

  Lord Polonius

  I have, my lord.

  Hamlet

  Let her not walk i’ the sun: conception is a blessing: but not as your daughter may conceive. Friend, look to ’t.

  Lord Polonius

  [Aside] How say
you by that? Still harping on my daughter: yet he knew me not at first; he said I was a fishmonger: he is far gone, far gone: and truly in my youth I suffered much extremity for love; very near this. I’ll speak to him again. What do you read, my lord?

  Hamlet

  Words, words, words.

  Lord Polonius

  What is the matter, my lord?

  Hamlet

  Between who?

  Lord Polonius

  I mean, the matter that you read, my lord.

  Hamlet

  Slanders, sir: for the satirical rogue says here that old men have grey beards, that their faces are wrinkled, their eyes purging thick amber and plum-tree gum and that they have a plentiful lack of wit, together with most weak hams: all which, sir, though I most powerfully and potently believe, yet I hold it not honesty to have it thus set down, for yourself, sir, should be old as I am, if like a crab you could go backward.

  Lord Polonius

  [Aside] Though this be madness, yet there is method in ’t. Will you walk out of the air, my lord?

  Hamlet

  Into my grave.

  Lord Polonius

  Indeed, that is out o’ the air.

  Aside

  How pregnant sometimes his replies are! a happiness that often madness hits on, which reason and sanity could not so prosperously be delivered of. I will leave him, and suddenly contrive the means of meeting between him and my daughter.— My honourable lord, I will most humbly take my leave of you.

  Hamlet

  You cannot, sir, take from me any thing that I will more willingly part withal: except my life, except my life, except my life.

  Lord Polonius

  Fare you well, my lord.

  Hamlet

  These tedious old fools!

  Enter Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

  Lord Polonius

  You go to seek the Lord Hamlet; there he is.

  Rosencrantz

  [To Polonius] God save you, sir!

  Exit Polonius

  Guildenstern

  My honoured lord!

  Rosencrantz

  My most dear lord!

  Hamlet

  My excellent good friends! How dost thou,

  Guildenstern? Ah, Rosencrantz! Good lads, how do ye both?

  Rosencrantz

  As the indifferent children of the earth.

  Guildenstern

  Happy, in that we are not over-happy;

  On fortune’s cap we are not the very button.

  Hamlet

  Nor the soles of her shoe?

  Rosencrantz

  Neither, my lord.

  Hamlet

  Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her favours?

  Guildenstern

  ’Faith, her privates we.

  Hamlet

  In the secret parts of fortune? O, most true; she is a strumpet. What’s the news?

  Rosencrantz

  None, my lord, but that the world’s grown honest.

  Hamlet

  Then is doomsday near: but your news is not true. Let me question more in particular: what have you, my good friends, deserved at the hands of fortune, that she sends you to prison hither?

  Guildenstern

  Prison, my lord!

  Hamlet

  Denmark’s a prison.

  Rosencrantz

  Then is the world one.

  Hamlet

  A goodly one; in which there are many confines, wards and dungeons, Denmark being one o’ the worst.

  Rosencrantz

  We think not so, my lord.

  Hamlet

  Why, then, ’tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so: to me it is a prison.

  Rosencrantz

  Why then, your ambition makes it one; ’tis too narrow for your mind.

  Hamlet

  O God, I could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.

  Guildenstern

  Which dreams indeed are ambition, for the very substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.

  Hamlet

  A dream itself is but a shadow.

  Rosencrantz

  Truly, and I hold ambition of so airy and light a quality that it is but a shadow’s shadow.

  Hamlet

  Then are our beggars bodies, and our monarchs and outstretched heroes the beggars’ shadows. Shall we to the court? for, by my fay, I cannot reason.

  Rosencrantz

  Guildenstern

  We’ll wait upon you.

  Hamlet

  No such matter: I will not sort you with the rest of my servants, for, to speak to you like an honest man, I am most dreadfully attended. But, in the beaten way of friendship, what make you at Elsinore?

  Rosencrantz

  To visit you, my lord; no other occasion.

  Hamlet

  Beggar that I am, I am even poor in thanks; but I thank you: and sure, dear friends, my thanks are too dear a halfpenny. Were you not sent for? Is it your own inclining? Is it a free visitation? Come, deal justly with me: come, come; nay, speak.

  Guildenstern

  What should we say, my lord?

  Hamlet

  Why, any thing, but to the purpose. You were sent for; and there is a kind of confession in your looks which your modesties have not craft enough to colour: I know the good king and queen have sent for you.

  Rosencrantz

  To what end, my lord?

  Hamlet

  That you must teach me. But let me conjure you, by the rights of our fellowship, by the consonancy of our youth, by the obligation of our ever-preserved love, and by what more dear a better proposer could charge you withal, be even and direct with me, whether you were sent for, or no?

  Rosencrantz

  [Aside to Guildenstern] What say you?

  Hamlet

  [Aside] Nay, then, I have an eye of you.— If you love me, hold not off.

  Guildenstern

  My lord, we were sent for.

  Hamlet

  I will tell you why; so shall my anticipation prevent your discovery, and your secrecy to the king and queen moult no feather. I have of late — but wherefore I know not — lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o’erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? man delights not me: no, nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.

  Rosencrantz

  My lord, there was no such stuff in my thoughts.

  Hamlet

  Why did you laugh then, when I said ‘man delights not me’?

  Rosencrantz

  To think, my lord, if you delight not in man, what lenten entertainment the players shall receive from you: we coted them on the way; and hither are they coming, to offer you service.

  Hamlet

  He that plays the king shall be welcome; his majesty shall have tribute of me; the adventurous knight shall use his foil and target; the lover shall not sigh gratis; the humourous man shall end his part in peace; the clown shall make those laugh whose lungs are tickled o’ the sere; and the lady shall say her mind freely, or the blank verse shall halt for’t. What players are they?

  Rosencrantz

  Even those you were wont to take delight in, the tragedians of the city.

  Hamlet

  How chances it they travel? their residence, both in reputation and profit, was better both ways.

  Rosencrantz

  I think their inhibit
ion comes by the means of the late innovation.

  Hamlet

  Do they hold the same estimation they did when I was in the city? are they so followed?

  Rosencrantz

  No, indeed, are they not.

  Hamlet

  How comes it? do they grow rusty?

  Rosencrantz

  Nay, their endeavour keeps in the wonted pace: but there is, sir, an aery of children, little eyases, that cry out on the top of question, and are most tyrannically clapped for’t: these are now the fashion, and so berattle the common stages — so they call them — that many wearing rapiers are afraid of goose-quills and dare scarce come thither.

  Hamlet

  What, are they children? who maintains ’em? how are they escoted? Will they pursue the quality no longer than they can sing? will they not say afterwards, if they should grow themselves to common players — as it is most like, if their means are no better — their writers do them wrong, to make them exclaim against their own succession?

  Rosencrantz

  ’Faith, there has been much to do on both sides; and the nation holds it no sin to tarre them to controversy: there was, for a while, no money bid for argument, unless the poet and the player went to cuffs in the question.

  Hamlet

  Is’t possible?

  Guildenstern

  O, there has been much throwing about of brains.

  Hamlet

  Do the boys carry it away?

  Rosencrantz

  Ay, that they do, my lord; Hercules and his load too.

  Hamlet

  It is not very strange; for mine uncle is king of Denmark, and those that would make mows at him while my father lived, give twenty, forty, fifty, an hundred ducats a-piece for his picture in little. ’sblood, there is something in this more than natural, if philosophy could find it out.

  Flourish of trumpets within

  Guildenstern

  There are the players.

  Hamlet

  Gentlemen, you are welcome to Elsinore. Your hands, come then: the appurtenance of welcome is fashion and ceremony: let me comply with you in this garb, lest my extent to the players, which, I tell you, must show fairly outward, should more appear like entertainment than yours. You are welcome: but my uncle-father and aunt-mother are deceived.

  Guildenstern

  In what, my dear lord?

  Hamlet

  I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.

  Enter Polonius

  Lord Polonius

  Well be with you, gentlemen!

  Hamlet

  Hark you, Guildenstern; and you too: at each ear a hearer: that great baby you see there is not yet out of his swaddling-clouts.

  Rosencrantz

  Happily he’s the second time come to them; for they say an old man is twice a child.

  Hamlet

  I will prophesy he comes to tell me of the players; mark it. You say right, sir: o’ Monday morning; ’twas so indeed.

 

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