Complete Plays, The

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Complete Plays, The Page 330

by William Shakespeare


  Biondello

  Then thus. Baptista is safe, talking with the deceiving father of a deceitful son.

  Lucentio

  And what of him?

  Biondello

  His daughter is to be brought by you to the supper.

  Lucentio

  And then?

  Biondello

  The old priest of Saint Luke’s church is at your command at all hours.

  Lucentio

  And what of all this?

  Biondello

  I cannot tell; expect they are busied about a counterfeit assurance: take you assurance of her, ‘cum privilegio ad imprimendum solum:’ to the church; take the priest, clerk, and some sufficient honest witnesses: If this be not that you look for, I have no more to say, But bid Bianca farewell for ever and a day.

  Lucentio

  Hearest thou, Biondello?

  Biondello

  I cannot tarry: I knew a wench married in an afternoon as she went to the garden for parsley to stuff a rabbit; and so may you, sir: and so, adieu, sir. My master hath appointed me to go to Saint Luke’s, to bid the priest be ready to come against you come with your appendix.

  Exit

  Lucentio

  I may, and will, if she be so contented:

  She will be pleased; then wherefore should I doubt?

  Hap what hap may, I’ll roundly go about her:

  It shall go hard if Cambio go without her.

  Exit

  SCENE V. A PUBLIC ROAD.

  Enter Petruchio, Katharina, Hortensio, and Servants

  Petruchio

  Come on, i’ God’s name; once more toward our father’s.

  Good Lord, how bright and goodly shines the moon!

  Katharina

  The moon! the sun: it is not moonlight now.

  Petruchio

  I say it is the moon that shines so bright.

  Katharina

  I know it is the sun that shines so bright.

  Petruchio

  Now, by my mother’s son, and that’s myself,

  It shall be moon, or star, or what I list,

  Or ere I journey to your father’s house.

  Go on, and fetch our horses back again.

  Evermore cross’d and cross’d; nothing but cross’d!

  Hortensio

  Say as he says, or we shall never go.

  Katharina

  Forward, I pray, since we have come so far,

  And be it moon, or sun, or what you please:

  An if you please to call it a rush-candle,

  Henceforth I vow it shall be so for me.

  Petruchio

  I say it is the moon.

  Katharina

  I know it is the moon.

  Petruchio

  Nay, then you lie: it is the blessed sun.

  Katharina

  Then, God be bless’d, it is the blessed sun:

  But sun it is not, when you say it is not;

  And the moon changes even as your mind.

  What you will have it named, even that it is;

  And so it shall be so for Katharina.

  Hortensio

  Petruchio, go thy ways; the field is won.

  Petruchio

  Well, forward, forward! thus the bowl should run,

  And not unluckily against the bias.

  But, soft! company is coming here.

  Enter Vincentio

  To Vincentio

  Good morrow, gentle mistress: where away?

  Tell me, sweet Kate, and tell me truly too,

  Hast thou beheld a fresher gentlewoman?

  Such war of white and red within her cheeks!

  What stars do spangle heaven with such beauty,

  As those two eyes become that heavenly face?

  Fair lovely maid, once more good day to thee.

  Sweet Kate, embrace her for her beauty’s sake.

  Hortensio

  A’ will make the man mad, to make a woman of him.

  Katharina

  Young budding virgin, fair and fresh and sweet,

  Whither away, or where is thy abode?

  Happy the parents of so fair a child;

  Happier the man, whom favourable stars

  Allot thee for his lovely bed-fellow!

  Petruchio

  Why, how now, Kate! I hope thou art not mad:

  This is a man, old, wrinkled, faded, wither’d,

  And not a maiden, as thou say’st he is.

  Katharina

  Pardon, old father, my mistaking eyes,

  That have been so bedazzled with the sun

  That everything I look on seemeth green:

  Now I perceive thou art a reverend father;

  Pardon, I pray thee, for my mad mistaking.

  Petruchio

  Do, good old grandsire; and withal make known

  Which way thou travellest: if along with us,

  We shall be joyful of thy company.

  Vincentio

  Fair sir, and you my merry mistress,

  That with your strange encounter much amazed me,

  My name is call’d Vincentio; my dwelling Pisa;

  And bound I am to Padua; there to visit

  A son of mine, which long I have not seen.

  Petruchio

  What is his name?

  Vincentio

  Lucentio, gentle sir.

  Petruchio

  Happily we met; the happier for thy son.

  And now by law, as well as reverend age,

  I may entitle thee my loving father:

  The sister to my wife, this gentlewoman,

  Thy son by this hath married. Wonder not,

  Nor be grieved: she is of good esteem,

  Her dowery wealthy, and of worthy birth;

  Beside, so qualified as may beseem

  The spouse of any noble gentleman.

  Let me embrace with old Vincentio,

  And wander we to see thy honest son,

  Who will of thy arrival be full joyous.

  Vincentio

  But is it true? or else is it your pleasure,

  Like pleasant travellers, to break a jest

  Upon the company you overtake?

  Hortensio

  I do assure thee, father, so it is.

  Petruchio

  Come, go along, and see the truth hereof;

  For our first merriment hath made thee jealous.

  Exeunt all but Hortensio

  Hortensio

  Well, Petruchio, this has put me in heart.

  Have to my widow! and if she be froward,

  Then hast thou taught Hortensio to be untoward.

  Exit

  ACT V

  SCENE I. PADUA. BEFORE LUCENTIO’S HOUSE.

  Gremio discovered. Enter behind Biondello, Lucentio, and Bianca

  Biondello

  Softly and swiftly, sir; for the priest is ready.

  Lucentio

  I fly, Biondello: but they may chance to need thee at home; therefore leave us.

  Biondello

  Nay, faith, I’ll see the church o’ your back; and then come back to my master’s as soon as I can.

  Exeunt Lucentio, Bianca, and Biondello

  Gremio

  I marvel Cambio comes not all this while.

  Enter Petruchio, Katharina, Vincentio, Grumio, with Attendants

  Petruchio

  Sir, here’s the door, this is Lucentio’s house:

  My father’s bears more toward the market-place;

  Thither must I, and here I leave you, sir.

  Vincentio

  You shall not choose but drink before you go:

  I think I shall command your welcome here,

  And, by all likelihood, some cheer is toward.

  Knocks

  Gremio

  They’re busy within; you were best knock louder.

  Pedant looks out of the window

  Pedant

  What’s he that knocks as he would beat down the gate?

&n
bsp; Vincentio

  Is Signior Lucentio within, sir?

  Pedant

  He’s within, sir, but not to be spoken withal.

  Vincentio

  What if a man bring him a hundred pound or two, to make merry withal?

  Pedant

  Keep your hundred pounds to yourself: he shall need none, so long as I live.

  Petruchio

  Nay, I told you your son was well beloved in Padua. Do you hear, sir? To leave frivolous circumstances, I pray you, tell Signior Lucentio that his father is come from Pisa, and is here at the door to speak with him.

  Pedant

  Thou liest: his father is come from Padua and here looking out at the window.

  Vincentio

  Art thou his father?

  Pedant

  Ay, sir; so his mother says, if I may believe her.

  Petruchio

  [To Vincentio] Why, how now, gentleman! why, this is flat knavery, to take upon you another man’s name.

  Pedant

  Lay hands on the villain: I believe a’ means to cozen somebody in this city under my countenance.

  Re-enter Biondello

  Biondello

  I have seen them in the church together: God send ’em good shipping! But who is here? mine old master Vincentio! now we are undone and brought to nothing.

  Vincentio

  [Seeing Biondello]

  Come hither, crack-hemp.

  Biondello

  Hope I may choose, sir.

  Vincentio

  Come hither, you rogue. What, have you forgot me?

  Biondello

  Forgot you! no, sir: I could not forget you, for I never saw you before in all my life.

  Vincentio

  What, you notorious villain, didst thou never see thy master’s father, Vincentio?

  Biondello

  What, my old worshipful old master? yes, marry, sir: see where he looks out of the window.

  Vincentio

  Is’t so, indeed.

  Beats Biondello

  Biondello

  Help, help, help! here’s a madman will murder me.

  Exit

  Pedant

  Help, son! help, Signior Baptista!

  Exit from above

  Petruchio

  Prithee, Kate, let’s stand aside and see the end of this controversy.

  They retire

  Re-enter Pedant below; Tranio, Baptista, and Servants

  Tranio

  Sir, what are you that offer to beat my servant?

  Vincentio

  What am I, sir! nay, what are you, sir? O immortal gods! O fine villain! A silken doublet! a velvet hose! a scarlet cloak! and a copatain hat! O, I am undone! I am undone! while I play the good husband at home, my son and my servant spend all at the university.

  Tranio

  How now! what’s the matter?

  Baptista

  What, is the man lunatic?

  Tranio

  Sir, you seem a sober ancient gentleman by your habit, but your words show you a madman. Why, sir, what ’cerns it you if I wear pearl and gold? I thank my good father, I am able to maintain it.

  Vincentio

  Thy father! O villain! he is a sailmaker in Bergamo.

  Baptista

  You mistake, sir, you mistake, sir. Pray, what do you think is his name?

  Vincentio

  His name! as if I knew not his name: I have brought him up ever since he was three years old, and his name is Tranio.

  Pedant

  Away, away, mad ass! his name is Lucentio and he is mine only son, and heir to the lands of me, Signior Vincentio.

  Vincentio

  Lucentio! O, he hath murdered his master! Lay hold on him, I charge you, in the duke’s name. O, my son, my son! Tell me, thou villain, where is my son Lucentio?

  Tranio

  Call forth an officer.

  Enter one with an Officer

  Carry this mad knave to the gaol. Father Baptista,

  I charge you see that he be forthcoming.

  Vincentio

  Carry me to the gaol!

  Gremio

  Stay, officer: he shall not go to prison.

  Baptista

  Talk not, Signior Gremio: I say he shall go to prison.

  Gremio

  Take heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be cony-catched in this business: I dare swear this is the right Vincentio.

  Pedant

  Swear, if thou darest.

  Gremio

  Nay, I dare not swear it.

  Tranio

  Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.

  Gremio

  Yes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio.

  Baptista

  Away with the dotard! to the gaol with him!

  Vincentio

  Thus strangers may be hailed and abused: O monstrous villain!

  Re-enter Biondello, with Lucentio and Bianca

  Biondello

  O! we are spoiled and — yonder he is: deny him, forswear him, or else we are all undone.

  Lucentio

  [Kneeling] Pardon, sweet father.

  Vincentio

  Lives my sweet son?

  Exeunt Biondello, Tranio, and Pedant, as fast as may be

  Bianca

  Pardon, dear father.

  Baptista

  How hast thou offended?

  Where is Lucentio?

  Lucentio

  Here’s Lucentio,

  Right son to the right Vincentio;

  That have by marriage made thy daughter mine,

  While counterfeit supposes bleared thine eyne.

  Gremio

  Here’s packing, with a witness to deceive us all!

  Vincentio

  Where is that damned villain Tranio,

  That faced and braved me in this matter so?

  Baptista

  Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio?

  Bianca

  Cambio is changed into Lucentio.

  Lucentio

  Love wrought these miracles. Bianca’s love

  Made me exchange my state with Tranio,

  While he did bear my countenance in the town;

  And happily I have arrived at the last

  Unto the wished haven of my bliss.

  What Tranio did, myself enforced him to;

  Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.

  Vincentio

  I’ll slit the villain’s nose, that would have sent me to the gaol.

  Baptista

  But do you hear, sir? have you married my daughter without asking my good will?

  Vincentio

  Fear not, Baptista; we will content you, go to: but

  I will in, to be revenged for this villany.

  Exit

  Baptista

  And I, to sound the depth of this knavery.

  Exit

  Lucentio

  Look not pale, Bianca; thy father will not frown.

  Exeunt Lucentio and Bianca

  Gremio

  My cake is dough; but I’ll in among the rest,

  Out of hope of all, but my share of the feast.

  Exit

  Katharina

  Husband, let’s follow, to see the end of this ado.

  Petruchio

  First kiss me, Kate, and we will.

  Katharina

  What, in the midst of the street?

  Petruchio

  What, art thou ashamed of me?

  Katharina

  No, sir, God forbid; but ashamed to kiss.

  Petruchio

  Why, then let’s home again. Come, sirrah, let’s away.

  Katharina

  Nay, I will give thee a kiss: now pray thee, love, stay.

  Petruchio

  Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate:

  Better once than never, for never too late.

  Exeunt

  SCENE II. PADUA. LUCENTIO’S HOUSE.

  Enter Baptista, Vincentio, Gremio, the Pedant
, Lucentio, Bianca, Petruchio, Katharina, Hortensio, and Widow, Tranio, Biondello, and Grumio the Serving-men with Tranio bringing in a banquet

  Lucentio

  At last, though long, our jarring notes agree:

  And time it is, when raging war is done,

  To smile at scapes and perils overblown.

  My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome,

  While I with self-same kindness welcome thine.

  Brother Petruchio, sister Katharina,

  And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow,

  Feast with the best, and welcome to my house:

  My banquet is to close our stomachs up,

  After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down;

  For now we sit to chat as well as eat.

  Petruchio

  Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!

  Baptista

  Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio.

  Petruchio

  Padua affords nothing but what is kind.

  Hortensio

  For both our sakes, I would that word were true.

  Petruchio

  Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.

  Widow

  Then never trust me, if I be afeard.

  Petruchio

  You are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense:

  I mean, Hortensio is afeard of you.

  Widow

  He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

  Petruchio

  Roundly replied.

  Katharina

  Mistress, how mean you that?

  Widow

  Thus I conceive by him.

  Petruchio

  Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?

  Hortensio

  My widow says, thus she conceives her tale.

  Petruchio

  Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.

  Katharina

  ‘He that is giddy thinks the world turns round:’

  I pray you, tell me what you meant by that.

  Widow

  Your husband, being troubled with a shrew,

  Measures my husband’s sorrow by his woe:

  And now you know my meaning,

  Katharina

  A very mean meaning.

  Widow

  Right, I mean you.

  Katharina

  And I am mean indeed, respecting you.

  Petruchio

  To her, Kate!

  Hortensio

  To her, widow!

  Petruchio

  A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.

  Hortensio

  That’s my office.

  Petruchio

  Spoke like an officer; ha’ to thee, lad!

  Drinks to Hortensio

  Baptista

  How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?

  Gremio

  Believe me, sir, they butt together well.

  Bianca

  Head, and butt! an hasty-witted body

  Would say your head and butt were head and horn.

  Vincentio

  Ay, mistress bride, hath that awaken’d you?

 

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