“It’s not complicated at all. I’m Connor’s father and I have just as much right to see him, to be with him, as you.”
He sounded so angry, and yet he was the one who’d ignored her when she’d tried to let him know. For the past three years, he’d probably never even given her or Connor a second thought. She wasn’t the villain here. “We’ll work out child support and a visitation schedule.” Even though having him in her life regularly would send her world spinning, he deserved to be in her son’s life. She would have to act as if seeing him every day did not send her pulse racing. Worse still, she would have to watch him with his revolving door. She assumed he still maintained a rotation of women. She’d just have to hide how much she wished he wanted her the way she still wanted him.
His presence was wreaking havoc on her hormones, but Kendra held her reactions in check. Something she’d become an expert at. She’d gotten used to being half in heat every time she was around him, and it seemed like that hadn’t changed. But, just to be safe, she’d better leave. Besides, she had to get home to relieve Mrs. Bailey from across the hall, since the elderly woman liked to go to bed by ten.
This had been an impulsive decision to talk with him, but her friend’s situation brought several ‘what ifs’ to light and she needed answers. She needed space to sort through what confronting Tom had set in motion. She’d half expected him to be happy to simply dish out money. She’d never even considered he’d want to be in Connor’s life—she’d hoped, but wasn’t certain, given he’d had no contact with him for three years.
She wanted to raise Connor with a father in his life. She’d always wanted Tom to be there for Connor, but she’d doubted that would ever happen, so to see her dream coming to fruition was scary. Dreams always seem so easy, it’s the reality that makes you think twice. Makes you question everything.
She stood because it was time to leave. She needed to consider a lot of things, emotionally and logistically, like how was this dual parenting thing going to work. “We’ll talk more about this when I have more time. I have to get home.”
Tom rose and ran a hand over his hair, making her want to do the same. Was it soft like she remembered from four years ago? Kendra needed to get out of there.
“So, that’s it?” he asked. “You drop a major bombshell on me and then run away? That’s not fair, to any of us.”
“Fair? Don’t talk to me about fair. Is it fair I had Connor all on my own? That I had cancer—OMG, life isn’t fair. I don’t have time to argue. I have to relieve the babysitter. Anyway, I need some space to think.” Kendra said, briskly making a move towards the door.
But Tom shot quickly past her and blocked her departure. “Think fast then because I’m not waiting too long to see my son. I’ve missed out on so much already.”
His eyes had darkened with the force of his emotions, and his supple mouth had thinned into a hard line. She wanted to kiss him until it softened again and let him devour her mouth. As if sensing her reaction, he reached out and ran a finger over her cheek.
“Please, stay. You can’t just drop this on me. I need to know—I need to know about my son. I have paid little attention to Connor before. Can I see a picture of him at least?”
His touch sent desire coursing through her, making her breathing quicken. She had to get out of there before he saw that even after everything, she still wanted him. “I—I’ll text you one or you can see him on my Instagram account, KendraB. I’m so sorry. I didn’t think this ‘revealing the truth situation’ through. I guess the news of my friend’s cancer returning sent me here on an impulse, it’s not every day you tell a man he’s a father. But Mrs. Bailey could only stay with Connor for a little while. I promise that we’ll talk soon, just not now.”
Tom’s gaze bored into hers. “Why would you tell me when you only had a bit of time? Are you punishing me?”
“No. No. Not at all. I just didn’t think you’d even care. I thought you knew all along and I was simply going to ask you to face up to your financial obligations.” Kendra couldn’t look away as tears stung her eyes. “It hadn’t occurred to me you didn’t know about Connor, or what this would mean for you. If I’d known, I would have told you differently. And made sure we had more time.” She gulped back a sob. “I really am sorry.”
Her words, or maybe her tears, made him flinch, and he quickly moved out of her way. Kendra yanked the door open and walked from the house to her car. She refused to look at him as she backed out of the driveway and then sped away into the night.
Chapter Four
It was a second night without sleep. Tom was still awake when the sky outside his eastern bedroom window lightened.
He’d spent the night studying Kendra’s Instagram account, looking at all the pictures of his son, and trying to come to grips knowing that he was a father. He’d also mentally whipped himself for not reading at least one of Kendra’s emails or listening to a single voicemail.
What an asshole he’d been back then. So consumed with the racing circuit, just to prove to his drunken excuse for a father, and everyone who’d never believed in him, that he could be a success. And for what? He’d learned he didn’t care what anyone else thought, only what he thought of himself and those he cared about.
And he’d cared about Kendra. He’d been just too scared to stay and face the turmoil that having a relationship with her would have caused. He’d face it now though because he was older and wiser. He had a son! As soon as he got to Bad Boy Autos today, he would read every single email.
However, he felt like a complete wanker because Kendra went through having Connor all on her own… the self-loathing became suffocating and he threw the sheet off.
He was thankful that she’d had help from Marcus, and from the photos on her Instagram account, her best friend, Stella, but still… He was the father and he should’ve been the one in the delivery room. Tom thought he’d never be a father. He’d never wanted to marry and play house. He supposed he was lucky he hadn’t fathered other kids given his history. He loved women. Plural. Or he loved the release and pleasure they could give him without the usual emotional entanglements. He was always upfront with the ladies who shared his bed. Nothing long-term. His family experience taught him nothing long-term ever lasted, anyway.
When he was twelve, his mother had walked out on them. Left without a word. He could understand her leaving his drunken father, but she left him and his brother, Sam. Left them with an abusive drunk. That’s when he’d first suspected he wasn’t loveable. There was something deep within him that put up barriers, making it so difficult for anyone to care for him. Or was it he was too scared to let anyone close? Losing his mother had done a number on him. He kept everyone, even Sam, at arms-length. He would never experience the pain of loss again. But now he had a son, and the wall around his heart was fracturing. He very much wanted to love his son and be the father he’d never had.
He turned off the alarm since he was already up and went to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror over the sink, he studied his reflection and thought about Connor. He’d only briefly seen the kid a few times. Did he look like him? The photos showed that he had Kendra’s dark hair, but Tom wanted to see him up close, to hold him, and love him.
One of the decisions Tom had come to during the long, sleepless night was that Kendra and Connor’s lives were about to change. He would not let his son grow up without a family. Without a loving family. There was only one problem—he laughed out loud—only one problem—yeah, right. How the hell was he going to give his son a loving family? He didn’t know what one looked like.
An hour later, arriving at Bad Boy Autos, instead of going straight to the pit to work on the cars he loved, he found himself at his computer.
With shaking hands he opened the folder holding all of Kendra’s emails, and for one second his finger hovered over the mouse, before he finally pushed the pad. With a small click, the first email opened.
Hi Tom
Sorry to bother you, I know you
’re busy, and we said it was just that one night—awesome night BTW—but you haven’t returned my phone calls and it’s imperative I talk to you. Please, please, can you ring me as soon as you read this?
Your friend, Kendra
Tom clicked to the next email, and then the next, while his stomach clenched against the churning pain. Each email from Kendra became more and more desperate, pleading for him to ring her. But it was the final email that saw a tear slide down his face, and his entire world exploded in mind-numbing pain.
Tom
I guess I don’t need you to ring me. It’s obvious you don’t want to have anything to do with me or the baby I’m carrying—your baby in case the many emails I have sent haven’t made that clear.
I’m writing to let you know that I’m keeping my baby and I won’t be asking you for anything ever again.
I won’t be revealing to anyone who the father is. And that’s not for your sake, but for Marcus’s. He loves you like a brother and this would destroy him and his chance of winning the driver’s championship.
I don’t know how you can live with yourself. You’re obviously not the man I thought you were. My baby and I are better off without you. Have a nice life.
BTW, it’s a boy.
Kendra.
Slowly he closed his computer and rose. He brushed the tears from his face, and his mouth firmed. He had many regrets in his life, but this one almost had him reaching for a bottle of Jack Daniels, until he remembered what Kendra had written—‘not the man I thought you were’.
She might have been right back then, but now he had changed. He had someone worth fighting for—a son and a woman he could love. He’d prove he was the man she thought he was before he’d walked out of her life.
If she’d give him a second chance.
Chapter Five
Connor bopped Kendra on the forehead with a small stuffed giraffe as she put his little cammo sneakers on while he sat on the couch. They and the matching cammo outfit had been a present from Marcus for Connor’s birthday. He’d said he’d had to make sure she wasn’t always going to dress him in sissy cartoon character clothes. Then he’d laughed and left the room when she’d glared at him.
Marcus might be a tad overprotective, but one thing she knew for certain, he loved his nephew and would do anything for Connor.
Kendra shook her head at the memory. Marcus might not want kids himself, but he took his role as Connor’s uncle very seriously. Since he’d quit the racing circuit and opened Bad Boy Autos with Tom, Marcus came to visit a lot. When she’d had cancer, he never left her bedside, even when all his friends and girlfriends were out having fun. He virtually willed her to live. She owed him a lot. He was the best brother she could ever hope for.
She frowned as she finished with Connor’s shoes. Marcus hated where she lived. That gut curling feeling hit her stomach as it did whenever she disappointed Marcus. She felt his disapproval of her home even though he didn’t mention it. He didn’t need to.
It was in his green eyes when he looked around her small living room with the watermarks on the ceiling. Both of them had grown up with money, living in Beverly Hills where Marcus still lived. And where Tom lived. She was a long way from Beverly hills now. She heard it in his voice whenever he said goodbye. The short phrase of “take care, sis” was filled with such reproach that she almost winced when he said it. She was the first to admit this was not the affluent area where she’d grown up, but she took pride in the fact she had a roof over her head paid for by money she earned from her music career.
“Mama, dink,” Connor said, bopping her with the toy again.
Kendra smiled and tickled him under the chin. “Thirsty, huh?”
Connor nodded and kicked his feet a little.
“Okay. Let’s go get a drink, little man.”
She helped Connor off the couch and watched him trot out to the kitchen on his little legs. Love for the adorable toddler filled her as she followed him. A knock on the door had her changing direction to answer it.
“Who is it?” she called out while watching Connor, who was standing in the middle of the kitchen staring at her with a frown.
“Mama! Dink!”
“Okay, my little man. I’ll be right there,” she said. “Who is it?”
“It’s Tom.”
Kendra’s pulse leaped at hearing his voice. What was he doing here? She wasn’t ready for this. But the revelation last night meant no turning back. So because Connor was here, he would finally meet his father. This was all happening so fast that her head spun. “I thought we would set up a time to talk?”
“Mama!” Connor wailed and stomped his foot.
Kendra suddenly felt as cranky as Connor was acting. She unlocked the door and opened it. “Come in.”
She barely looked at Tom before hurrying to the kitchen to stop Conner’s pounding on the fridge.
Connor looked up at her with a furrowed brow when she took his wrist. “Mama, dink.”
“I know, baby, but you have to wait for mama. Back up so I can get the door open,” she said.
Connor turned around so fast that he almost fell over. Looking up, Kendra saw what had startled him. Tom stood just inside the kitchen, staring at Connor, who stared right back. But they weren’t the only ones staring.
Tom’s long, muscular form captured Kendra’s attention. The way his black work T-shirt stretched across his broad chest made her mouth go dry. Following the V of his torso down to his narrow hips, Kendra flushed as the images of the sculpted muscles that lay beneath his clothes flitted through her mind. Why did Tom have such power over her emotions?
Connor threw up his hand and hollered, “Hi!”
Tom’s expression instantly lightened and a big smile spread over his face. His eyes shone as he squatted down. “Hi, Connor.”
Connor tapped his chest. “Me, Connor.” He walked over to Tom and patted his thigh. “Me, Connor.” The likeness struck her anew. How Marcus hadn’t seen it… She swallowed back the emotions and the protective mother instinct to push Tom away—Connor was hers.
Tom said, “You sure are.” Tom couldn’t take his eyes off him—their son. “He’s adorable, Kendra.”
Kendra smiled proudly. “I know.”
Connor patted Tom’s thigh once more. “Me, Connor.”
Tom looked questioningly at Kendra. “Why does he keep saying that?”
“He wants to know who you are,” Kendra replied.
Tom rolled his eyes. “I should’ve figured that out. I’m your—”
“No!”
Both Connor and Tom looked at Kendra in surprise at her loud tone.
Kendra met Tom’s gaze. “That’s not how to do this. Connor picks things up fast and we have some things to work out first. If he hears you called that, he’ll repeat it. I’m not ready for anyone to know yet, especially Marcus. So, for now, you’re just Tom.”
Tom’s expression darkened and he looked like he would argue. Then he glanced at Connor, pointed at his chest, and said, “I’m Tom.”
Kendra sighed in relief. “Thank you.”
Tom greeted his boy, “It’s nice to meet you, Connor.”
Emotions collided in Kendra’s heart as she watched the father and son. Anger at Tom for not reading her emails or listening to her voicemails cloaked the meeting with sadness. Three wasted years. But the picture of them together filled her with happiness that the two were finally meeting. Connor deserved to know his father. It looked like Tom wanted that too, but what would that mean for them all?
Connor smiled. “Hi, Tom.” He looked up at Kendra. “Mama, dis Tom.”
Kendra laughed. “Yes, Con. I know who he is.”
There was no forgetting the man she’d loved for so long. He always filled her dreams and he was never far from her mind. After all, he was her first love. And their night together had given her Connor. She could never regret that.
Tom ruffled Connor’s hair and stood up. “I came over to meet Connor and to talk about what we’re
going to do about the situation. I’m not waiting any longer to be in my kid’s life.”
Kendra took a deep breath, walked over to the refrigerator and opened it. The cold air felt heavenly on her flushed cheeks, and she wanted to crawl right inside the appliance. She located a bottle of apple juice and concentrated on pouring some into a sippy cup so she didn’t have to look at Tom.
“Here, Con.” She handed it to him.
Connor took the sippy cup, drank a few swallows and then ran into the living room, leaving Kendra alone with Tom. She propped a hip against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Well, I guess the first thing is setting up child support and visitation through the court,” she said. “I think supervised visits would be best at first until you’re more used to taking care of Connor. Then we could do every other weekend and figure out who gets him on each of the vacations.”
“You’ve got this all figured out and we haven’t even talked.” Tom moved closer and Kendra was forced to tilt her head back to meet his eyes.
“No, Kendra. I will not drop him off and pick him up like a damn suitcase. He deserves better than that. Connor needs a full-time dad, not a part-time father.”
Kendra’s eyes widened as fear constricted her chest. “You’re going for full custody? Oh, hell, no! I’ll fight you on this and I’ll win, Tom.”
Fortunately, Tom shook his head, assuaging her concerns, “Whoa, I will not sue you for custody, Kendra. That’s the last thing I want to do. I’d never separate Connor from his mother. I thought that we could work this out privately.”
“What do you mean, privately?” she asked. “I want it to be legal. Just in case… I want to know Connor is taken care of.”
“I’ll never stop taking care of him—or you.” He stepped even nearer and Tom’s aftershave teased her senses. “I want it to be legal, too, but I was thinking of something more old-fashioned.”
Reckless Curves: Bad Boy Autos (Drive Me Wild Book 1) Page 4