To her surprise, there was nothing of note to read. There were a few text’s from a woman called Lexie but they seemed to be about work. Ashamed of herself, she swiped sideways and looked at the listings he’d selected. Surprise, surprise they were mostly in his neighborhood which she knew meant they were expensive.
She hated how already she suspected Tom’s motives. She didn’t want to be that clingy, needy woman, chasing after her man every minute of the day. How was she ever going to believe he was here for her, not just his son?
She found a couple of places she would love to look at even if they were in his neighborhood and was just about to put the phone down when Tom arrived back with her keyboard and she rushed to grab the Chinese takeaway from his over loaded arms and watched each muscle flow as he found a space for the keyboard on the table along the wall.
She moved to the kitchen, fighting the heat growing deep inside at his proximity. As she dished out the food, she called over her shoulder, “I looked at some listings. You have good taste and knowledge of what would work for me and Connor.”
He spoke from just behind her and she longed to turn into his arms. “I thought about my childhood and what I would have wanted and never had.”
She turned then and laid her hand over his and squeezed. He may not be honest about his feelings for her, but it was clear he wanted nothing but the best for their son.
Over delicious Chinese they made a list of what she was looking for in an apartment, as they looked at the rest of the listings.
“I would really love three bedrooms so I can have one as a music room, big enough to fit my piano. Fully air-conditioned would be luxury and some outside space for Connor.”
He remembered she had a wonderful voice. “What’s happening with your music?”
Her face flushed before answering his question. “It’s moving slowly but I’ve sold a few songs, mainly for commercials and I top up my money through doing piano lessons.” She hesitated but added, “I have told no one else yet, but a producer downtown is interested in some of my work and asked me to write a song for a well-known singer. If she likes it, then… I won’t be worrying about money for a while. It could be my big break.”
“Wow, that’s fantastic. It’s an indescribable feeling to achieve something you have always dreamed about and worked hard for.”
Her smiled disappeared. “Do you miss the racing circuit? You didn’t have to give it up just because Marcus could no longer drive.”
“It wasn’t the same without Marcus.”
“But I heard you had a huge offer from another racing team. Marcus thought you were nuts not to take it.”
That’s what everyone had told him, but he’d reached his dream because of Marcus, and his friend needed him. For a man of action, being told he might not walk again… Tom knew he had to give Marcus the will to fight.
He’d achieved all his dreams, the ultimate being helping Marcus win a Formula One World Drivers Championship. It wasn’t the same after he saw Marcus’s crash. He had seen the footage, and it wasn’t because of anything wrong with the car, but still he could not help feeling responsible. He realized perhaps after eight years on the circuit, his luck had run out and, like Marcus, it was time to come home.
He decided it was time to change the subject. “What about a pool?”
She pursed her lips making him want to taste them. “Perhaps. Although it needs to be properly fenced for Connor.”
Tom smiled to himself. Kendra was really enjoying this. Wait until she got to look at them in person. This might actually work. He knew for a fact the house across the road from his was up for rent. It had a wonderful backyard with a fully fenced off pool. He could imagine teaching Connor to swim. But he was jumping ahead of himself.
He couldn’t believe how relaxed she was in his company. She sat cross-legged on the couch, her laptop on her knee, going through rental listings. She looked adorable in her denim cutoffs and spaghetti strap top. A bead of sweat trickled down between her breasts and his eyes traced it, wishing he could lick it up with his tongue. The open window did little but let the warm air in. He really needed to move them to a better house and fast.
Glancing at Kendra, he caught her staring at him. She jerked her gaze away, but not before he saw the desire in her eyes. She still likes me. Pretending not to notice her preoccupation with him, Tom gathered up the remains of their take out.
“So, do we have some places you want to view?” he asked.
“How many can I see?” Kendra responded.
“As many as you like. You don’t have to settle. We’ll find someplace you really like, take your time.”
“Thank you.” She chewed her bottom lip and his groin tightened. “These look expensive.”
Facing her, Tom said, “You’re welcome. And remember, I have three years of financial support to make up for.”
Her expression tightened, and wariness entered her eyes. “Yeah. I guess so.”
He didn’t want her to withdraw because he’d raised the topic of money, so he sat down right next to her. Heat came off her, and the scent of fresh lilies wreaked havoc with his senses.
The proximity to her sinfully delectable body made him ache. Shoving that away as best he could, he asked, “Don’t let money come between us. We have more to worry about and if money raises its head, we might not stand a chance.”
Kendra smiled wryly. “I guess this is more than about money. It’s about all of our futures, including Connor. But our relationship can’t just be about Connor. Why now? Why this desire to have a relationship with me? You must see how it looks.”
He felt the guilt flicker across his face and Tom turned away. “I suppose it is time for some truths to come out. I promised Marcus I’d stay away from you when we first met, and he was right to warn me off. We were both young, and you’d just beaten cancer… but the fact is, I liked you as soon as we met.”
Her eyes widened. “You did? You never said anything, and I chased after you like a bull after a red flag.”
Tom laughed and leaned back against the couch. “Marcus caught me eyeing you up and made me swear to stay away from you, so I couldn’t tell you.”
“He had no right to do that. I was old enough to make my own decisions.”
“You were sixteen. Try to understand where he was coming from. I’m the first one to admit that I was not in your league, and he wanted better than that for you,” he said. “Turns out he was right. I never should’ve slept with you, especially when I knew nothing could come of it, I was heading back to Europe the next day but damn it—I wanted you.”
Kendra shifted away from him. “Well, I’m not sorry that I slept with you because I have Connor. He’s the best thing I’ve ever done and I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
Her wounded expression made Tom feel like an ass for hurting her feelings. “Kendra, it’s complicated. Look, I’m not good at this relationship stuff, but I want to try. My parents weren’t great role models for relationships. That night with you was incredible. I don’t regret sleeping with you; I regret the timing. I regret putting friendship before what we could have had. I didn’t think it would work between us.”
Kendra nodded. “My parents aren’t fabulous role models either, but not because they broke up, because they stayed together. Mum puts up with so much shit and I swear I’ll not do that.”
“I’d never want you to. And I’d never treat you like your father treats your mother. That’s why I hate this secrecy. Hiding this from Marcus…” He knew Kendra wasn’t just thinking about herself in trying to hide this from Marcus, but it still hurt. “I can do that, but it puts me in a terrible position. Until yesterday, I didn’t have to lie about Connor. If he asks me outright I can’t or won’t lie to my best friend.”
Kendra lifted an eyebrow. “And I’m not marrying you just to make a family.”
Tom had thought about that all day, and he’d decided that he’d gone about it all wrong. He gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Sorry for
trying to order you into it. That was stupid. But I want to make a home for Connor and be his dad.” He pointed at some listings they had printed out. “Moving closer to me will help.”
Kendra shook her head. “I can’t figure you out. I never thought of you as the marrying type. You always hopped from bed to bed.”
Tom shrugged, “I never had a kid before. It makes a big difference. I had a shitty childhood and I don’t want that for Connor. I want him to know that he has a father he can count on.”
“Want to share? I’ll tell you my terrible childhood stories if you tell me yours.”
He wanted the ground to open up. Her cancer topped his physical beatings for sure. “I don’t talk about it much. No sense to it as I can’t change what happened to me. That was in the past, so I try to leave it there. My old man was too busy cheating on my mother to pay much attention to me.” He shrugged. “Mom finally tired of it and took off when I was thirteen. That’s when Dad’s drinking escalated. I always swore to be a better man than that.” Tom let out a sarcastic laugh. “Talk about an epic fail. Fast cars, fast women, and all the booze I could handle. For quite some time I was just like him or turning into him.”
Kendra cocked her head. “Was?”
“On a trip state side, Marcus and I had gone to Daytona to see the 500 when Sam called me to tell me that Dad had cirrhosis of the liver from all his drinking. There I stood in the stands right before the race with a beer in my hand while he’s telling me that Dad had pickled his liver.”
“He told me that Dad would die unless he got a liver transplant, and it felt like I was holding a cobra in my hand instead of a beer. And I knew that if I kept drinking, I really would end up like Dad. I didn’t drink that beer. I gave it to Marcus and I haven’t drunk since.”
* * *
Kendra couldn’t believe it. “But you go out all the time.”
Tom’s smile looked a little sheepish. “Yeah, but I’m the designated driver a lot.”
Astonished, Kendra could only stare at him for a few moments. Why hadn’t Marcus ever told her that? Then it came to her. After she’d thought Tom had abandoned her and Connor, she’d expressed no interest in Tom. In fact, she’d purposely acted disinterested in anything Marcus had to say about Tom, and her brother had started only mentioning him in passing.
“I go out to have a good time with the gang—”
“And to pick up women.”
Tom frowned at the censure in her voice. “Don’t be like that. All holier than thou. It’s not like you were a virgin before we slept together, and I’m sure you’re not hurting for dates.”
“You’re right. I have no right to judge,” she said.
He sighed and stretched. “Yes, you do. But I can’t change my past. I’m not sure how we’ll work this out, Kendra. We both want different things that we think are the best for Connor. I want to make a stable, happy home for him.”
Kendra said, “I want the same thing, but getting married for his sake is the worst idea in the universe. Look at our parents. Isn’t it better to remain friends and leave sex out of it?”
Tom twisted so he faced her. “Did you ever wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t gone back to the circuit?” His chest muscles flexed as he rested his arm on the back of the couch behind her. “Did you ever think about what it would’ve been like to see where things might have gone between us?”
Kendra couldn’t speak. I must be dreaming. This can’t be real. It’s like he’s plucked my thoughts right out of my brain. “I did for a little while, but after two months of not hearing from you I stopped having stupid fantasies. I had a baby on the way and he was my focus.”
She could see the remorse in his eyes. “I get it. I do. I don’t blame you for hating me, but no more than I hate myself for not reading your emails or listening to your voicemails.” He lifted a hand and laid it against her cheek. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t here then, but I’m here now. Please give us a chance.”
Danger signs flashed in Kendra’s mind, but she smashed them with an imaginary hammer. His rough palm on her skin ignited a hunger that had lain dormant for so long. Tom was right. There had been a couple of guys since Connor had been born, but they’d been just brief, meaningless flings. When it came to sex, they’d paled in comparison to the way Tom had made her feel.
“I’m here and I’m not going anywhere,” he practically whispered.
Kendra tried so hard to keep her eyes on his, but she couldn’t help glancing at his sensual male mouth. Her breathing quickened as he leaned closer and cupped the back of her head. She should turn away, shove him away, and run away, but she was trapped by desire.
The first contact with his lips as he brushed them over hers, sent need coursing through her and any objection she might have made fizzled and died. It was a good thing she was sitting down when he kissed her in earnest because her knees would’ve turned to jelly. Oh, to hell with it!
Kendra gave up fighting against what her body wanted and wrapped her arms around Tom’s neck. Parting her lips, she invited him to invade her mouth, reveling in the warm, soft collision of their tongues. She’d lied to him about not fantasizing about him like this.
She liked the feel of his short hair against her palm as she ran her hand over the back of his head. He hauled her over onto his lap, making her gasp into his mouth. Tom angled his mouth a little more and Kendra kissed him back like a starving woman.
Nothing could cool the fire Tom had lit inside her. No man had ever kissed her with this kind of intensity. It had been the same way on the night they’d slept together. He was everything she’d wanted, needed… and he had given her a night she could never forget.
Iced tea had never tasted as good as it did on his lips, and she drank deeply while her temperature continued to climb. He slid a hand down her back to her hip and kept it there even though she wanted him to strip her naked and kiss every inch of her heated skin.
A cute little voice said, “Mama kish Tom,” followed by an adorable giggle.
Tom jerked so hard in surprise that he almost bucked Kendra off the couch. “Hi!” he said to Connor, who stood smiling at them. “Mommy had something in her eye and I was helping her.”
Kendra clung to Tom’s shoulders until she regained her balance and then stood. His ridiculous excuse and the stark fear in Tom’s expression struck her as hilarious, and she promptly burst into laughter even though desire still hummed through her body.
Connor laughed and jumped up and down in delight as Kendra braced herself on the couch.
She could tell Tom didn’t find the situation amusing in the least. It was obviously his first time being interrupted during a passionate moment by a kid, and his son at that, and he wasn’t sure what to do.
“Tom kish Mama!” Connor shouted, still jumping up and down.
Tom ran a hand over his face. “Shit. I hope he doesn’t say that around Marcus.”
Kendra’s mirth faded at that thought. “Oh, God. You’re right.” Then she waved away their concern. “I’ll just say that I kissed your cheek to thank you for your work on my van.”
Tom stared at her. “Have you always been this good at lying?”
“Pfft! Please. I had to be, or else I wouldn’t have ever gotten to do anything,” Kendra said. “Even after I was given the all-clear, everyone treated me like I was still sick and I wasn’t hardly allowed to leave the house.”
“Shit!” Connor said and laughed.
“Sorry about that.”
“Don’t worry about it. Stella accidentally taught him that one. Kids can sneak up on you, as you just found out. They overhear things that they shouldn’t.”
Tom leaned back against the couch, and she shivered in his heat. She wanted him so much but Connor came first. He sighed and chuckled. “Okay. I’m glad I didn’t teach him that word.”
Connor ran over to the couch and used Tom’s leg to help him clamber onto it. “What’s dat?” He pointed at the forgotten laptop on the floor.
Kend
ra said, “It’s mummies laptop. You’ve seen this before. We play Mr. Caterpillar on it.”
“Me see!” Connor slid back off the couch and ran over to where it lay discarded in their passionate moment.
Tom grinned when Connor couched down and touched the keyboard. “Can you see Mr. Cattapillar?”
“No.” He looked at Tom.
“I bet he’s gone to bed as it’s late,” Tom said to him.
Connor thought about that and nodded. He stood. “Mama, me thirsty,” the little boy said.
Kendra chuckled. “Okay, but only a little water.”
“’Kay.”
“I better go.” Tom rose and prepared to leave. He snagged the printouts of the rentals they would inspect, and Kendra had to stop herself from saying, ‘don’t go’.
She was still so into him.
Perhaps she could give this relationship idea a chance. She would try to protect Connor from it, but ultimately, she would begin a relationship with someone. Why not the man who owned her heart? She couldn’t protect Connor from her own needs.
Connor went to run by Tom and he grabbed him, turning him upside down. Connor squealed with laughter and Tom laughed with him. Seeing her son’s eyes shine with happiness made Kendra warm inside.
Tom hugged Connor close. “I’m going bye-byes, buddy.”
Connor frowned and took Tom’s face in his little hands. “No. Stay.”
Kendra’s heart squeezed and damned if she didn’t feel like crying. She wanted him to stay too.
“I can’t right now, but I’ll see you soon. Okay?”
Connor’s gaze never wavered. “Promise me?”
“I promise.”
“You see me morrow?” Connor wanted to know.
“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Tom replied.
Connor’s frown gave way to a smile. “’Kay.” He hugged Tom’s neck and patted his shoulder.
Tom rubbed his back and turned towards the kitchen.
Kendra blinked away tears at the sweet picture that big, strong Tom and their cute son made as they hugged. How many times had she dreamed of the three of them being a family? Too many to count. That was all it was, though—a dream. Did dreams ever come true?
Reckless Curves: Bad Boy Autos (Drive Me Wild Book 1) Page 9