Jersey Girl (Sticks & Hearts #1)

by Rhonda James

  "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry." Her blue eyes peer up at me, and for the first time since we've met, I'm not looking at her with lust or longing. All I see is someone who dropped everything to be with me because she sensed I needed a friend. Holding her in my arms feels so nice it makes me wonder why I haven't opened up sooner. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

  I don't respond with words. I simply nod my head, and she guides me over to the bed and crawls in beside me. With her back against the headboard, she pulls me in so my head is on her shoulder. She strokes my hair and speaks in a low, soothing voice.

  "What happened?" I open my mouth, and before I know it, I've told her everything I know, which isn't a whole lot. "But his surgery went well and he's recovering? How's your mom holding up? This must be difficult for her. I can't imagine watching someone I love go through something like that."

  My arms circle her waist to pull her close. There's barely an inch between us, but I can't seem to get close enough. She seems to know exactly what I need before I have to ask.

  "When we talk, she sounds normal, but I'm sure it's been hard as hell. My dad doesn't handle sitting still very well. I'm sure he's driving her crazy, but you wouldn't know it from talking with her. I don't get it, you know? If she suspected anything of an affair, how can she go from confronting him to taking care of him as if nothing happened? In my eyes, there's no excuse for any of it, and the excuses mom made for him sound like pure bullshit to me. He says he loves her, but, there was a brief period where he was questioning everything in his life. Screw that. In my opinion, if you're in love, then you're all in, there is no in-between."

  She goes quiet for a few minutes, and when she finally speaks, I cling to her words as if they're a lifeline. "I suppose when you've been with someone a long time, it would be hard to walk away. Think about it, they promised to love each other through good times and bad. I'm sure after what, twenty-plus years, they've weathered a hell of a lot of storms together. No. When times get hard, you don't run away and seek shelter; you get right in there and sling a little mud if that's what it takes. I know I would fight for the man I loved, no matter how messy things got. She probably forgave him, because that's what love does to you. You love not only when there's laughter, but also when there's pain. I'm certain she feels after this long she's earned the right to stay by his side, and I hope he realizes how fortunate he is to have a woman like that."

  "So you're saying I should forgive him even if he made a mistake? That I love him no matter what?"

  "Yeah, B, that's exactly what I'm saying." Her finger slips below my chin, lifting my face to hers. "I'm not saying it will be easy, but he's your father, and whatever it is he's going through, it sounds to me like he needs his family now more than ever."

  I bury my face in her shirt, silently crying as I try and absorb the words she's just spoken. She's quiet now, waiting for me to say something, but allowing me to do it on my own terms. There's safety in the friendship we've formed. A sense of freedom I've never experienced with another human being outside of my parents. I'm not sure how it happened; all I know is I like it, and I find myself wanting to cling to it for as long as she'll let me.

  "Stay with me. I don't want to be alone tonight." She smiles and without a word gets up and uses the bathroom to change into one of my T-shirts. I like seeing her in my clothes. I'm not sure why. I just do. On her way back to bed she makes sure to lock the door before shutting off the light and snuggling in beside me. With my face pressed up against her back, I breathe in the sweet fragrance of her shampoo and listen to the soft sounds of her even breathing. It's only after she goes quiet that I give in to the pull of sleep and enter a peaceful slumber while holding onto my best friend.

  ***

  The next three weeks morph into much of the same.

  Practice. Class. Time with Cassie.

  Class. Practice. Time with Cassie.

  It doesn't matter how the day starts, all that matters is they end the same. Spending time with Cassie has become my new normal. Whether together or simply talking on the phone, I always feel good when she's around.

  "You want to catch a movie, or hang out in my room and practice some more?" I ask as we make our way toward the exit of the lecture hall. Two nights a week she's been meeting with me to have me play for her. I'm only a third of the way through the song, but last week she left Willow so I can practice on the nights she isn't giving me a lesson. She's a great teacher. Patient. Demanding without being harsh. And very thorough. She'll make me play the same chords over and over until she feels my movements are natural rather than forced. She says I'm a good student too, but that's probably due to the years of disciplined training I've had to endure for hockey season.

  "I can't get together tonight. I already made plans with Roni. She complained you're monopolizing my time, so I gave in and agreed to go to a party with her." She links her arm with mine and gives me a sideways glance as we continue walking.

  "Party? Which one? I haven't heard about any parties." I play along, knowing full well what 'party' she'll be attending. Her birthday is this weekend, but a bunch of us decided to surprise her by all meeting up at Rick's. Last week, Roni texted to fill me in on her plan, and before we knew it, Scott and Davis were in on the surprise. Roni has this grand plan to distract her before arriving at the bar much later tonight.

  "Umm..." she stalls, and I can tell she's embarrassed to admit where she's going. “It's not that kind of party. She's taking me to a sex toy party," she mumbles the last part into her hand so I can't make out what she's just said. But I already know, so it's kinda funny.

  "I'm sorry, I didn't hear that. What kind of party?" I turn my head so she doesn't see me smirk, and I have to make sure it's not present when I turn back around.

  "A sex toy party," she shouts at the top of her lungs, and this draws the attention of several students. "What?" She throws her hand up in question, but they all turn away and keep walking. She turns to me and rolls her eyes, annoyed I made her admit it out loud. "Are you happy now?"

  "Hmmm, let me see... Ask me later when I see what toys you've bought." I give her a teasing wink.

  "Oh, you wish. I'm not planning on buying anything. I'm not even taking my wallet. I'll just be observing."

  "I'll spot you twenty bucks if you're worried about wasting your own money," I offer happily.

  "Brantley," she warns, and I concede by shutting my mouth and slipping a twenty in her front pocket. It really is fun to watch her blush.

  ***

  Rick's is another venue where students congregate throughout the school year. For the most part, it's usually crowded on the weekends, but tonight is Wednesday so we have no problem finding a few available tables. Pulling them together to accommodate ten bodies, we situate the chairs and order a round of drinks. Davis is on my right, which also happens to be the direction the door is in, so while he goes on about some girl in his econ class, I listen and watch the door simultaneously.

  Thirty minutes after we arrive, they walk through the door. I'm two beers in and finally starting to relax when she approaches the table and pulls back the seat I've been saving for her. The one right next to mine. The same one I've kept a watchful eye over since everybody and their neighbor kept trying to snag it. Now that she's here, I can let down my guard and kick back.

  She takes a look around the tables, spying her closest friends, and immediately senses something is up.

  "What's going on? Why are you all here on a Wednesday?" she asks skeptically.

  "Surprise!" We all scream in unison. "Happy Birthday!"

  "No way." She drops her face into her hands and shakes her head.

  "Yes, way." I pull her hand away and give her a barely noticeable wink. Rivers is sitting two seats down and across from us, and I can feel him watching my every move. I lower my hand and raise my beer in a toast just as Ashley brings out a cake with twenty glowing candles. "Happy early Birthday, Dimples. I hope all your wishes come true." She smiles a smile that I'm sure is me
ant solely for me before blowing out all her candles in one breath.

  "Me too," she whispers and throws a wink back at me.

  "Woo hoo! Cut the cake!" Masterson calls out. "Happy Birthday, Cassie."

  One by one, they all come around to our side of the table, while she stands to give each one a hug. I watch with a smile, thinking back to that night at the frat house when I'd walked in on her crying. Back then she'd been lonely, longing for the very thing now surrounding her. Everyone here loves her in their own way.

  "Happy Birthday, sis." Rivers makes like he's going to muss her hair, and she reflexively dodges his hand. But instead of giving her a hard time, he pulls her close and gives her a hug and a kiss. "Love you." Ashley follows after him, and then I hear him tell her they're taking off. She stares after them as they leave, and I can sense her disappointment.

  "Hey." I tug on her sleeve, and she lowers her head to look at me. Now that the watchdog is gone, I pull her back on my lap and whisper in her ear. "Did you put my money to good use?"

  "Wouldn't you like to know," she answers seductively, and all I can do is laugh as I lean in and plant a kiss on her cheek.

  I'm fairly certain if I were to reach my hand in her pocket, I wouldn't find that money. No. Something tells me she spent it at that party, and I'm dying to know what she bought. A small part of me hopes I'll get to find out.

  By the time I drop her off at the dorm, I'm horny as hell. It's been weeks since I've gotten laid, and I'm worried if I don't remedy that soon, I may end up doing something to jeopardize our friendship, not to mention give her brother reason to kick my horny ass.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CASSIE

  How are things? It's been a while

  I miss your laugh. I miss your smile

  The late night talks, we used to share

  Your hand in mine, because you cared

  All of these things, remind me of

  Those days when I still had your love

  "Dammit." My hands slam against the piano keys, creating a haunting sound that echoes off the walls. I've been in this room for nearly an hour, but the music isn't working and it's really pissing me off. It's not as if the song is a requirement for my class; it was just something that came to me while I was in the shower. Lately, that appears to be one of the many inconvenient places that sparks my creative juices. Driving a car, the middle of night, or during sex also make that list.

  "I need Willow," I announce to the empty room. Working quickly, I shove the music sheets in my bag and hustle out the door.

  I'm halfway back to the dorms when I remember Willow isn't in my room. She's nestled safely inside Brantley's room, where we've been meeting for his lessons. Surprisingly, he's put a lot of effort into learning, and when I offered to leave the guitar with him to practice, he'd been all for it. I send him a quick text to let him know I'm stopping by, and keep walking toward the bus stop.

  I suppose I could have borrowed a guitar from the music department, but Willow's been present for every song I've composed. I'll feel better having her with me for this one, even if I'm just messing around.

  It's a quick ride to his apartment, and the bus lets me off at the stop just three doors down. When I knock on the door it swings open before I have a chance to lower my hand. Scotty stands on the other side and looks surprised to see me.

  "Cass? What's up?" he asks when I breeze past him.

  "I'm just here to pick up Willow. I left her here so B would have more time to practice."

  "B. So what, you two have nicknames for each other now? Anything else I should know about?" His eyebrows shoot up an inch on his forehead.

  I roll my eyes and shove my way past him. "I believe we've already covered this topic. Is he home or not?"

  "Can't say for sure," he shrugs his shoulders and closes the door. "I just got home myself. But his truck's out front."

  "Okay, thanks. I'll just run up and grab her." I don't wait for his response. It's not as if I need his permission to enter Brantley's room. I've hung out with him enough to feel comfortable in this house.

  His door is slightly ajar when I approach, so I rap my knuckles once before pushing it open only to receive the surprise of my life.

  He's shirtless and lying on his bed with a half-naked redhead straddling his jean-clad legs. And she's not just any redhead. She's the same girl who'd called him baby that night at Casey's.

  They're oblivious to my presence. I could turn and walk out and he'd never know I was here. But to my horror, my legs are frozen in place. I watch helplessly as she gyrates over him, feeling their connection, and the look in his eyes makes my mouth go dry. When their lips meet in a kiss the pang of jealousy that hits is so sharp I let out a garbled cry. The girl glances lazily in my direction without missing a beat. I stumble backwards, embarrassed I've been caught. Brantley's eyes find mine and there's panic behind them.

  "Shit!" I exclaim, grasping the doorframe for stability before bolting down the stairs. Tears sting my eyes as I speed past Scott without an explanation. The last thing I see is the puzzled look in his eyes as he gapes after me. I run down the street as fast as my legs will carry me, catching the bus just before it pulls away from the curb. Sinking into the first empty seat, I steal a backward glance in time to catch Brantley sprinting across the lawn in my direction, stopping only after the bus turns the corner.

  I cower in the corner and work to catch my breath. Humiliated doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now. Just days ago I'd been happy because I thought he was going to kiss me. That same night I even dreamed he harbored a secret crush on me. Truth is, even if he had kissed me that night, I would just be one more girl added to his lineup. Hell, it's no secret he's slept with more than his share of girls on campus. Just last week I heard about this list; apparently it's legendary and has been a long-standing tradition among the sororities on campus. It's called the Campus Conquest and, according to several girls in South Quad, Brantley is #2 on the list.

  I'm pretty sure I never stood a chance at being more than his friend, but that doesn't stop me from wanting more.

  Lucky for me, the bus is almost empty, because I can't stop the tears from trickling down my cheeks.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  BRANTLEY

  "Shit," I murmur, shoving Natasha aside to go after Cassie.

  What the fuck had she been doing?

  And how long had she been standing there?

  Taking the steps two at a time, I sprint past Scott and frantically scan the street for any sign of her. Forgetting my pants are unbuttoned, I haul ass across the lawn, screaming her name. From the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of blond curls entering a bus just as the door closes and it pulls away.

  "What the fuck just happened?" One minute, I'm messing around with Natasha, and the next, I'm running down the street after some chick.

  No, you asshole. Not some chick.

  It was Cassie. And you've just hurt her.

  A sinking feeling settles in the pit of my stomach, yet I don't fully understand what I'm sick over. Cassie and I hang out. Nothing more. Ground rules were set, and we've stuck to them.

  Sort of...

  But what about the little touches?

  The hand holding that lasts longer than necessary?

  And what about the times we've almost kissed?

  Shit. I'd made it perfectly clear nothing could ever happen between us. It wouldn't work. Scott is my best friend, and I don't want to betray his trust.

  I won't betray his trust.

  However...

  I won't deny I feel something for her. Hell, I dreamed of her only two nights ago. Dreamed of her smooth skin. Her perfect tits that were made to fit my hand. Her soft lips parting just before they surround my...

  Oh, for Chrissake. That's not helping.

  When I walk back into the house, Scott's standing in the living room with his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed in my direction.

  "You mind telling me what the fuck that w
as about?"

  I run my fingers through my hair and shake my head. "I don't know, man. She just came into my room. I had no idea she was coming over," I shake my head, trying to figure out how I'll ever be able to look her in the eyes again. But why am I letting this bother me? I don't owe her an explanation for my actions. I'm a single guy with needs.

  Needs she shouldn't fill.

  "Um, hell-o? Did you forget something?" I look up and see Natasha standing with her hands on her hips, scantily dressed and clearly annoyed. I blink several times until it registers I must have forgotten she was upstairs. I have zero desire of picking up where we left off. And honestly, despite how sexy she looks in her black, lacy bra, I don't even think I could achieve a hard-on right now. Nor do I want to.

  I saunter over and give her a quick kiss before asking her to leave. "Natasha, baby. I'll call you later." Thankfully, she gets it. There are no ulterior motives when it comes to Natasha. She uses me for sex. But that's okay, because until now, I've been doing the same thing. She quietly gathers her belongings, what little she brought with her, and walks out the door.

  "Nice," he comments while watching her go. Then turns and glances down at the open waistband of my jeans. "I take it Cassie saw more than she bargained for when she went up there. I think you should know, she was pretty upset."

  "Yeah, I know," I stammer, unsure how to begin explaining what's going through my head right now. And the hardest part is, I can't tell him even if I wanted to. Which I truly do because he's my best friend.

  When I finally make it back to my room, I reach for my phone and see that Cassie sent me a text nearly an hour ago.

  Her: Fighting with a new song. Coming over 2 get Willow. C u soon!

  A knot forms in my chest when I picture the look on her face. Without a doubt she'd been shocked, but I'm certain I saw something else. Something I never meant to cause.