Jersey Girl (Sticks & Hearts #1)
Page 13
Pain...
Practice is scheduled to start in thirty minutes, and Coach will ream my ass if I'm late. I snag a clean shirt and throw my hockey duffle over my shoulder. On the way out, I spot her guitar in the corner where I last left it. Lifting it carefully, I decide to drop by her dorm after practice. I have no idea if she'll speak to me, but I sure as hell have to give it a try.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CASSIE
Veronica and I are on our beds studying when I hear a knock at the door. My stomach lurches in fear it may be Brantley; after all, he had been chasing me down only two hours ago. I came back and poured my heart out to Roni, hiding my face the whole time. She'd been quick to remind me that B is a player, and I get that. It's not as if I walk around oblivious to the rumors, but I never expected to have reality slap me in the face. And I hadn't been prepared for how it would leave me feeling. Honestly, I'm confused about what's happening between us. We seem to go out of our way to push the boundaries of every parameter we've established. At some point, one of us is bound to cross an imaginary line and what happens then? Would our friendship be over? I truly hope not, because I'm not sure I'd want to remain here if B wasn't in my life. Being with him warms my heart in the same way I feel whenever I perform a new piece of music for the first time.
It's a feeling that says I'm complete.
Honestly, it's scares the crap out of me. Because anything that leaves you feeling that good is also something you can lose in the blink of an eye.
The knock comes again, followed by Brantley's deep voice, "Cassie, we need to talk."
"What are you gonna do?" she whispers when I fail to get up.
"I'm not ready to face him. Just tell him I'm not here," I whisper back and cower near the end of the bed so he won't see me.
"Hey, Brantley," she greets him, cracking the door open only a few inches. "Cassie's not here."
"Hi Veronica. Do you know where she is? I really need to talk to her." There's desperation in his voice.
"No, I'm sorry, I don't. Is everything okay? You seem stressed," she asks sweetly.
"Umm, I'd rather talk to Cassie about it. Something happened earlier today and... I can't stop thinking about her. I need to know she's okay and I haven't fucked things up between us," he says sadly. I can feel his pain from where I'm hiding. I feel it because my pain goes just as deep.
"I know about what happened. She came back and told me all about the little performance you gave."
"She did? I swear I had no idea she was even there. Be honest, is she avoiding me? She's in there hiding right now, isn't she?"
"No. I told you. She's not here. But I'll tell her you stopped by," Roni replies calmly. I swear the girl could win an Oscar for her performance.
"Okay," he concedes. "I brought Willow. She was looking for it earlier, and I figured she would like it back."
"Sure thing. I'm sure she'll appreciate the gesture."
"Listen, can you do me another favor? Tell her I'm really sorry. I feel like a complete asshole, and would give anything for one of her hugs right now. Just tell her that for me and let her know I'll be waiting for her whenever she's ready to talk."
"I'll do that. See you later," she says, closing the door in his face. Then, she whips around and crosses the room in two steps. "You have to go after him."
"What? Why? I told you. I'm not ready to face him."
"Cassie, you should have seen his face. He looked so sad. I don't care what you say. That man is crazy about you. I can see it in his eyes when he talks about you. Damn, what I wouldn't give to have him going all teary eyed over me."
"Wait, he almost cried?" I nearly chew my bottom lip off as I debate my next move.
"Yeah, I swear if he'd kept going, they would have spilled down his cheeks. Guys don't cry over you unless they have feelings for you. You're a fool if you don't at least listen to what he has to say." I don't wait to hear the rest of her speech. I'm out the door and chasing after him in a flash.
"Brantley," I call after his retreating form. He's less than a hundred feet away, but apparently he doesn't hear me. My heart beats rapidly as I sprint after him and scream his name. "B!" He turns just as I launch myself at him, and when we collide my face smashes against his solid chest.
"Come here. I can't see your face," he grumbles, picking me up so I'm wrapped around him like a pretzel. A tear rolls down my cheek, but he quickly brushes it away. "Much better," he smiles, and I trace the curve of his lip with my thumb. When our eyes meet and his lips part, I lean forward. And just like the day we met, I go for it.
His lips taste heavenly, and if the kiss ended here, I'd be completely satisfied, but it doesn't end, it only intensifies. Our tongues brush together, and as the kiss deepens, he tangles his fingers in my hair and holds my head in place. The kisses skim down my neck and stop when they reach my bare shoulder. Soft nips and licks sear my skin until a moan passes my lips and the spell we're caught up in is broken. Our eyes open and we hastily pull apart.
"Cassie, I'm so sorry—" he starts, but I press my fingers over his lips.
"Don't you dare, B. Don't apologize for kissing me. We were caught up in the moment. Nothing more."
He gives me a funny look before shaking his head. "No. I wasn't going to apologize for that. It was hot as hell." His lips curve into a wicked smile. "You can greet me like that every day if you want." I give him a poke in the ribs, and he makes a grunting noise. "I'm kidding, okay. Listen, I'm sorry about this afternoon. I never meant to hurt you."
"I wasn't hurt." The lie falls from my lips with ease. "It just shocked me, that's all. From now on, I'll remember to knock."
"There won't be a next time, Cassie," he says with sincerity.
"Brantley, I don't expect you to stop having sex just because we're hanging out. You have needs, so go ahead and fulfill them. I honestly don't care whom you stick your di—" he cuts me off with another mind-blowing kiss, and when we break apart, I wrinkle my nose in confusion. "What was that for?"
"Will you please stop? Yes, I have needs. And, yeah, I've been with my share of bunnies. But I'm tired of that shit. I like hanging out with you. I like spending time with you, because you're with me for who I am as a person and not as a status symbol. I consider you my best girl friend, Dimples. I'm through spending time with skanks. At the end of the day I just feel empty after being with them. But when I'm with you, it's different." He swallows hard, leveling his gaze with mine, and it's hard to hide my disappointment at being called his girl friend. With emphasis on the separation of the two words.
"Why were you with her?" I know it's a stupid question, but I need to hear his answer.
"Honestly? Because of you."
"Me?" I ask incredulously. "How exactly did I drive you into the arms of a skank?" I wiggle against him, and he releases his hold.
"Well, not you, exactly." I roll my eyes and he continues. "Remember your birthday? After everyone left and you were sitting on my lap?" I nod and curl my finger around one of his. His eyes cast down to our joined hands and a smile forms at the corners of his mouth. "We were joking about that sex toy party, and you wouldn't tell me if you'd spent my money. I went home that night and couldn't stop thinking about it."
"Thinking about what?" I tip my head back and look up at him. His eyes dart nervously from side to side before settling on my lips. For a moment I think he may kiss me again.
"You," he folds his hands, locking them behind his head. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. I swear, my dick was so hard I had to jack off twice before falling asleep."
"I'm sorry," I smirk, "I'm sure that must have been hard for you."
He frowns at my choice of words. "Trust me, you have no idea. But it's still wrong of me to think of you that way. You're my friend, not to mention my best friend's sister." I roll my eyes again, and he grabs hold of my wrists. "I know you hate being reminded of that, but it's true. Anyway, I figured the best way to get those thoughts out of my system was by fucking someone else."
>
I pull one of my hands away and run it through my hair. "And how'd that work out for you?"
"I didn't sleep with her. I wanted to, or at least I thought I did, until I saw your eyes. After that, I couldn't go through with it."
"Well, that's just crazy. You can't give up sex because you're worried my feelings may get hurt. I don't expect that of you." I weave my fingers through his belt loops and draw him to me. "I promise I won't think less of you if you need to hook up with someone. But as your friend, I do have one request."
"Oh yeah? What's that?" The calloused pad of his thumbs caress my hips and, because it feels really good, I have a hard time thinking straight.
"No matter how desperate you become, promise me you won't sleep with Stacy Preston." His brow arches, and he gives me a smile.
"Pfft, that's easy." He lowers his forehead to mine to look me square in the eye. "I promise I will never sleep with Stacy Preston again."
"Thank you," I mouth the words.
"For the record, it only happened one time." He slings an arm around my shoulder and we turn toward the dorms. "Worst lay I've ever had." I throw him a dubious look and he makes an X over his chest. "Swear to god. She's a selfish fuck. Ask any guy on the team."
"No, thanks." I swat at him. He motions toward his back and I hop on for a piggy-back ride to my room. And just like that we're back to being us.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CASSIE
Saturday morning I'm at my desk working on my song when I hear a knock at the door. I check the time and know it's not Brantley; he's down at the gym with Davis working on his already perfect abs. As I open the door, I'm startled to find Scotty standing there.
"Scotty!" I throw my arms around his neck, and he pulls me in for a really tight, brotherly hug. In the middle of it, I'm struck with the reality of how much I've needed this from him. Words can't begin to explain how much I've missed spending time with him. I've expressed this to B, and he keeps telling me to talk to Scott, but something keeps holding me back. I guess a part of me is afraid if I push to hard he'll pull away completely. Scott is sometimes like a timid dog; he can only handle so much before he retreats into a corner and it takes a while for him to rebuild his trust. I don't get it, but I know enough to stand back and let him come to me. That's why this gesture means so much.
"What's up? Is everything okay?" I motion for him to step inside. We haven't seen each other since the afternoon at his apartment, though he had called me that night to check on me.
"Nothing's wrong. Geez, does a guy need a reason to visit his baby sister?" he closes the door behind him and looks around our small space. "Holy shit, these rooms are so small. I still can't believe I lived here for a year." He pushes his beanie back on his head and drops into Roni's desk chair.
"Yeah, I guess I've gotten used to it by now. Anyhow, we try not to spend too much time here." I tuck my legs under me and sit back down on the edge of the bed. "It's good to see you. I've missed your face."
"Yeah, I've missed you too. Listen, I just wanted to check in and see if you're okay. I know we talked the other night, but the look on your face when I last saw you had me worried. You want to talk about it?" He's clearly in big brother mode, which makes me smile, because this is the Scotty I've been missing.
"Thanks for coming over, and for worrying about me, but I'm okay now. Brantley came by that night and apologized."
"He did?" His brow furrows but it's quickly replaced with a smile. "So, you two good now? Back to being buddies?"
"Yeah, we're good," I answer, returning his smile.
"Good to hear. I know you two have gotten close." He rubs his hand over the back of his neck as he says this. "You know, I was thinking maybe you'd like to hang out tonight? I could take you to that Cuban place I was telling you about, Frita Batidos, over on Washington." His eyes light up with excitement, and it reminds me of when we were kids and he would try and talk me into doing something that may get us into trouble.
"Oh, yeah. That's the place where they make those sour lime shakes you were telling me about." I'm practically bouncing on the edge of the bed just thinking about them. I love anything sour, and my brother knows this. "What time do you want to go?"
"I'll pick you up at six. We can eat, then maybe catch a movie or something. That sound good?" He stands, and I jump up to give him another hug. His arms are so long they swallow me whole when he wraps them around me. I'm so moved by this show of affection that I'm unable to prevent a few tears from escaping down my cheeks. It's only when I sniff and refuse to let go that he realizes I'm crying. He takes a step back and lifts my chin. "Hey, I didn't come over here to make you cry. It's just dinner and a movie, Cassie. It's not like a date or something. Geez," he winks and ruffles a hand through my hair. "See you in a few hours."
I mumble a response and watch as he lets himself out. It's only then I realize Veronica must have slipped out sometime during our little bonding moment. It's just as well. I'm suddenly in the mood to be alone and cry. Before I do that, I decide to text Brantley letting him know what just happened. His response comes quick and brings a smile to my teary face.
Him: It's about time his dumb ass woke up and saw how lucky he is. Have a great time. Text me later.
I set my phone on the nightstand and smile all the way to the shower.
***
My smile fades when I step outside and see Ashley sitting in the passenger seat of the Charger. Without uttering a word, I give him a look that says I thought we were hanging out alone. He flashes me one that says I'm sorry, she just showed up and I couldn't say no.
I climb in the backseat, knowing my brother is too nice a guy to blow off his girlfriend for me. It's only a short distance, but Ashley talks nonstop the entire way. What shocks me even more than seeing her in the front seat is what she's talking about. Apparently, they are leaving tomorrow after the game and going to Ohio to see her family. This weekend is my recital, and he's supposed to be there for me. I guess this explains why he suddenly had an interest in spending time with me. Guilt. I remain quiet in the backseat, but I'm boiling inside. He tries to make eye contact but I simply smile and avoid his gaze, refusing to let him see my pain. It's only when we stop in front of the restaurant that I finally let out my frustration.
"Um, why are we stopping here? Scott knows I don't like this place. Scott?" She turns and bats an eye at him and he immediately caves. Gah! Why are men so weak when it comes to women?
"Cass, would you mind eating across the street at Zola? We can do Frita's another night." He looks at me hopefully. On any other occasion I may concede to his request, but not tonight. I've been looking forward to our time together, and I was really hoping to see his face after my performance tomorrow night. I've worked really hard on this piece. He hasn't even asked to hear it. I've played it a few times for Brantley and he clapped and cheered for damn near ten minutes. Why is it Brantley gets it, but my brother seems completely clueless?
"You know what, no. I've been looking forward to eating here, and that's where I'm eating. Feel free to eat across the street. We can meet up afterwards and go to the movies. Enjoy your scallops." I flash a fake smile and go inside the restaurant. I'm instantly hit with the delicious aroma of garlic and cilantro. I look down and see a group of students munching on a large bowl of garlic-cilantro French fries, and my mouth begins to water in response.
The line is really long, and the place is packed. I take my place in line and settle in for the long wait. From the smells wafting past as the kitchen door opens I can tell the wait will be worth it when they set that heavenly platter of food before me. I glance around and note the seating is simply rows of white picnic tables strung together and everyone eats sitting next to other patrons. At least I won't be alone while I'm eating. I'm lost in thought when my phone buzzes in my pocket.
Him: I envision u with a plate of garlic fries. Are they as good as u expected?
Me: Not that lucky yet. Still standing in line. Place is packed.
/> Him: Oh, the torture. At least Scott is entertaining company.
Me: He would be if he were with me.
Him: Don't tell me he's running behind.
Me: Nope. He's across the street with Ashley. She didn't want 2 eat here.
Him: You're fucking kidding. Right?
Me: Sure. Haha. I'm so hungry I'm ordering one of everything.
When he doesn't respond, I assume he's gone back to whatever it was he was doing before he texted. The guys in front of me are having a conversation about last week's hockey game, and I find myself eavesdropping.
"Did you catch that save Rivers made? Man, I don't know if that guy is lucky or just that talented. He's on fire this season," dark-haired guy says.
"Yeah, and he's headed to the pros after graduation," cute blond responds. "He and Cage both signed on as free agents over the summer."
"Shit, just what Cage needs, another reason for women to drop their panties for him. I swear that guy is bathing in bunnies," dark-haired guy gives a sarcastic laugh, and I can't help smiling because it's painfully obvious he's jealous.
My back is turned to the door when I hear one of the guys smack the other and tell him to look over his shoulder. Out of curiosity, I automatically turn in time to see Brantley walking over to where I'm standing.
"Holy shit, it's Brantley Cage! Hey man, how the hell are you?" Blond guy sticks out his hand, and Brantley politely shakes it, but his eyes are focused solely on me.
"Hey, doll." He cups my cheek in his large hand, and I lean into him, seeking comfort in any form it's being offered. "You okay?" I step forward and fall into his arms. Suddenly, everything seems better. His hands move up and down my back as he whispers softly in my ear. "I'm so sorry, baby. It'll be okay. I'm here now."
"What are you doing here?" I murmur against his warm chest. I don't want to move, he smells so good, and it feels like heaven to be wrapped in the safety of his arms.