by Holly Rayner
I love you, Kathy
The last few letters blurred and ran as tears filled her eyes and spilled onto the page. She scrambled to rub them away before they could damage the paper, sobbing as she tried to preserve it. The knot of conflicted feelings within her felt like it had exploded, spilling messy emotions everywhere.
He was proud of her. It didn't fix what he'd done. She wanted to shake him and hit him. She wanted to hold him and thank him. But she couldn't do anything. He was gone and there was no way to change that. His mistakes were made and over and there was no apologizing or making it better. She couldn't stop staring at the letter even though she was crying too hard to read it.
"I love you too, Dad," she sobbed to the empty air. "I love you too."
Once she'd pulled herself together, she felt better. Cleaner. She'd cried herself out and all the pain and conflict had run out with it. Her father hadn't been a perfect man. He'd made a lot of mistakes. He'd forced her to do something he should never have. And she was grateful he had. She might never have taken a chance on Tehar if he hadn't. She certainly wouldn't have Amira now. She loved him, despite everything.
Downstairs, her family was gathered, talking and laughing. She went to sit beside Tehar and he put Amira in her arms, asking if she was all right. She nodded, smiling and taking a deep breath.
"I am," she told him. "I'm better, actually."
He smiled and kissed her cheek.
"Are you sure about this?" Shadaf asked, returning them to the conversation they'd been having before Kathy came in.
"You're just as qualified as I am, if not more so," Tehar said. "And more importantly, I trust you."
"But my illness," Shadaf reminded him. "There are days I'm too weak to get out of bed."
"Then you can work from home," Tehar said. "Or delegate. It's not physical work."
"And what happens if I drop dead in a month?" Shadaf pointed out.
"Shadaf, my dearest friend," Tehar said with a laugh. "They have been telling you that you were dying since the day you were born. And yet here you are, more alive and energetic than most people I know. It's time to stop waiting to die and start planning for a future."
Shadaf looked at Khalila, who smiled at him encouragingly, taking his hand.
"All right," he said, taking a deep breath. "I'll do it."
Tehar moved to hug his cousin tightly, patting his back in congratulations.
He'd made the decision to turn over the business, at least the part of it that needed to be handled in Abu Sadah, to Shadaf before they'd even returned to deal with Mitchell.
Tehar would continue to handle things stateside, but he wouldn't have to be flying back forth constantly. He could stay there in Colorado with Kathy and the baby. He would still fly out to visit his family there several times a year. Basira would never leave Abu Sadah, but it looked like Fairuz and Ihab both were considering moving to the States. Tehar would have his family and Kathy would have her career, and neither of them would have to give up what they loved in order to be together.
"You're going to do amazing," Tehar said, clapping Shadaf on the shoulder. "And think of this. The prestige and power of being in charge of such a large company can only help your efforts to progress social policy in Abu Sadah as well."
"I'll still have to convince the Sheikh and the rest of our family for that," Shadaf said with a laugh. "But yes, I think this might be what I need to really begin to change things."
"I'll be with you every step of the way," Tehar promised.
"I think we've proven just how far we'll go for the business as well," Kathy said with a laugh.
They went out to dinner a little later, and Kathy bounced between listening to Shadaf and Tehar hashing out the details of business to Tessa shamelessly flirting with an increasingly flustered Fairuz. She and Khalila exchanged teasing jokes about both parties and ordered too much dessert.
That night, once the guests were settled into their rooms and Amira was in her crib for the night, Kathy stood at the open window of the master bedroom while Tehar got ready for bed behind her.
She liked the way his coat looked over the chair and his shaving kit on the dresser. The room was starting to feel lived in again, but it was a new and better life. She looked out at the moon rising over the trees and contemplated the new life they were starting. Tehar surprised her as he slipped an arm around her shoulder, coming to stand beside her.
"It's beautiful here," he said. "It's very different from Abu Sadah, but I think I'll like it."
"I hope Amira will too," Kathy said. "There's so much ahead of us. I don't really know what to think about any of it."
"Whatever happens, we'll face it together," he said gently, kissing her temple.
"I'm glad your family has been so accepting of all the changes," Kathy said. "We couldn't have made any of this work without them."
"We would have found a way," Tehar said. "I wouldn't have let anything stop me."
"I'm just happy they love Amira as much as we do," Kathy said with a smile. "I'm so glad she gets to be a part of your family. Even if they would have preferred a boy."
Tehar rolled his eyes.
"Well, Basira might have said she wanted a boy," he said. "But you could tell the minute she saw Amira, she wouldn't have had it any other way. She loves her daughters."
"True." Kathy laughed. "Well, I guess we can always try for a boy next time."
"Next time?" Tehar's eyes widened and he grinned, squeezing her close.
"Well, in that case, we should probably get married before the next one. You know, just to make sure there's no question about the inheritance."
She was about to answer when he reached into his pocket and pulled something out, offering it to her. The silver band glittered in the moonlight, a beautiful natural sapphire surrounded by white diamonds sparkling in the center.
"I should probably have planned something more extravagant," he admitted as she stared, caught off guard. "But it seemed wrong. Our whole relationship has been this way, hasn't it? Grand gestures just feel superfluous."
"You're right," Kathy said, tears stinging her eyes again, happy this time, as she let him put the ring on her finger. "This is perfect."
"I've never met another woman like you in my life," Tehar said. "Driven and powerful, strange and funny and beautiful. You're kind in the most unexpected ways, uncompromising sometimes. Even when you don't know what you want, you keep pushing forward until you do. I want to keep learning more strange and wonderful things about you for the rest of my life. I love you, Kathy."
"I love you too, Tehar," Kathy said, sobbing and throwing her arms around him. "I love you!"
He kissed her hard and she tugged him towards the bed, pulling him close.
This time, as he pushed her down onto the sheets, there was no guilt or sadness about what might be or would never happen. There was just the three of them, her and Tehar and Amira, and ahead of them a bright, beautiful future. From then on, they’d both be figuring out what they wanted from life together.
Epilogue
The lights rose on the news desk, the logo spinning on the studio monitors.
"This is your six o’clock news out of Cold Creek, Colorado," the pretty, cheerful brunette anchor declared. "I'm Kathy Burgess."
"And I'm Hank Conway," her square-jawed co-anchor chimed in.
"And this is your afternoon update. First, in international news, the EU convenes over new climate change regulations…"
As soon as the cameras turned off, Kathy sank back into her chair with a sigh of relief, loosening the navy suit jacket she was wearing
"Great work today, Kathy," Hank said with a friendly nod. "Real insightful stuff in that climate change piece."
"Thanks," Kathy said with a proud smile. "I wrote and researched it myself. I actually flew to Beijing for those numbers."
"Wow! Having a prince in the family sure has its perks. I'm sure as hell not flying to Beijing on the weekends."
Kathy laughed.
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"Yeah, it really does," she admitted. "I wanted to start doing field work again, but I need to stay local for my family. We're figuring out a way to make it work."
"I feel you there," Hank agreed. "I'd love to get into the field again. Where are you heading next? This was your last show before your vacation, right?"
"I'm actually heading back to Abu Sadah with the husband to visit his family," Kathy explained. "Although, I am hoping to do a piece on the recent progressive social reform there. It's a totally different country from when I visited the first time. I just have to get the producers on board with it."
"Well, I for one would love to see that," Hank said encouragingly. "Good luck!"
"Thanks!" Kathy stood up from the broadcast desk, moving slowly.
"And be careful," Hank added. "You're in no condition to go jet setting around the world."
"Are you kidding?" Kathy laughed, putting a hand on her round, heavy stomach. "I've done some of my best work in this condition!"
She drove home to the house she'd grown up in, feeling the familiar sense of fond nostalgia as soon as it came into view, the dark slate peaks of its roof sharp against the clear winter sky, surrounded by a lacework of bare tree branches.
Kathy breathed in the chilly winter air with relish. Nothing beat the view from here. The whole world seemed to be spread out at her feet, bright and clear and crisp as the snows of winter began to retreat. She'd been living there for about a year now. It was February, almost Valentine's Day again. Counting the one they'd spent at the office party, this would be her third Valentine's Day with Tehar.
Amira babbled loudly in the back seat until Kathy came around to let her out. She was a little over a year old now. Her eyes had darkened to a beautiful green-hazel, but she had her father's copper skin and dark hair. She was, in Kathy's opinion, unbearably beautiful. And Kathy had a feeling her brother was going to be just as perfect.
They'd discussed having a second child a little after Amira was born, but, as it had last time, it happened unexpectedly, the early symptoms catching them both by surprise. Kathy hadn't been planning to have another baby that soon, but once she realized it was happening she couldn't help the excitement she felt.
Things would be tougher with two kids, but she knew already that it would be more than worth it. The family she was building with Tehar was worth almost anything. She was, truly and perfectly, deliriously happy.
She carried Amira into the house and saw Tehar coming down the stairs carrying their bags and talking on the phone at the same time, holding it pinned between his ear and his shoulder.
"I already sent you the documentation for that," he complained into the phone. "You're just going to have to manage. No. We've been planning this vacation for months. My wife could go into labor any second now. The company will not collapse without me at my desk for a few weeks. Goodbye!"
He hung up with a frustrated sigh, dropping the suitcases he was carrying beside the couch.
"I swear," he said, coming to hug her and kiss the top of Amira's head. "You would think I was planning to leave forever."
"Well, you are the CEO," Kathy said, smiling at her husband warmly. Henry Alan had decided to retire shortly after the Mitchell debacle had been sorted out, and he'd passed ownership of the entire QIC Media empire to Tehar.
He'd been absurdly busy, but he fought to carve out time to spend with his family, both immediate and abroad. Kathy's maternity leave had offered a perfect opportunity for that. One of Tehar's early changes to the company had been paid maternity/paternity leave for all full-time employees, and luckily that applied to him as well.
"I saw your six o’clock spot today," Tehar said, checking the bags to see if he'd missed anything. "You looked wonderful. That climate change article really turned out well."
"Thank you, sweetheart," Kathy said, beaming with pride. "I wanted to go out with a bang. Can't have them forgetting who's the best while I'm away. Is everything ready to go?"
"Almost," Tehar answered. "I think I got everything."
"Did you get Amira's bag?"
"Yeah, the diaper bag is right there."
"Not the diaper bag, the bag with her clothes and toys."
"No. I knew I forgot something."
He rolled his eyes and hurried back upstairs for it. Once everything was collected, Kathy helped him load it all into the car as they headed for the airport.
"I told Tessa we're on our way," Kathy said as they boarded the private plane, looking down at her phone. "She wants to know if we're stopping in Paris?"
"Of course." Tehar chuckled. "It's practically tradition by now. I'm already craving beignets."
"She wants us to bring her and Fairuz macaroons," Kathy said a moment later, laughing.
Tessa and Fairuz, now quite unambiguously a couple, had been living in Massachusetts together while Fairuz pursued a law degree. Kathy had missed having Tessa next door, but they still talked every day.
The two women had flown out to Abu Sadah for the little get together the day before. They'd wanted a chance to make sure Basira wasn't going to react badly to seeing the two of them together before everyone else got there. Apparently, she'd taken it surprisingly well.
Tehar and Kathy landed in Abu Sadah many hours later, after their pit-stop for lunch in Paris, by which time Amira was very ready to be off the plane. As soon as they stepped onto the airstrip, Amira fussing and squirming in Tehar's arms, Tessa was there to grab Kathy in a delighted hug.
Fairuz was a step behind her, greeting her brother and waving to the baby. Shadaf, Khalila, Ihab, and Basira were there to greet them as well, along with a woman Kathy didn't recognize.
"Kathy," Shadaf said with a fond smile as she separated from Tessa long enough to greet him. "I'd like you to meet my mother, Sheikha Nouha."
He indicated the woman Kathy hadn't recognized, who shook Kathy's hand.
"With the changes Shadaf has been making here," Nouha said. "I finally felt ready to come back to visit. I'm so glad to have the chance to meet you all."
They headed to a restaurant in the city for dinner, and Kathy was surprised to see many women had stopped wearing veils. There were more women in general on the street. She even saw a few working in the restaurant.
"I'm taking it slowly," Shadaf said as they ate. "Which isn't hard considering what a battle it is to get the government to change anything. But the Sheikh is behind me. He wants to bring Abu Sadah into the modern age. We've loosened the restrictions on women's clothing and started vouchers and initiatives to allow widows and unmarried women to work. There's been a battle over allowing women to drive for years, but we're making progress there. I think as long as we make the change gradual, we can really make this work."
"There's been some pushback, I assume?" Kathy asked over her wine.
"Oh, absolutely," Khalila answered for Shadaf with a tired laugh. "The fundamentalists and the political factions that want us to unite with Saudi are outraged. There was an article the other day declaring that I was a blasphemous witch controlling my husband like a puppet."
"But so far they've kept their complaining to the courts and the papers," Shadaf continued. "I think as long as we don't try to move too fast, let them adjust and see that the world isn't ending just because women can work now, in a decade we'll have caught up with the rest of the world."
Khalila smiled at him proudly. Kathy wasn't sure what pleased her more, his passion for the work or the fact that he was, at last, planning for the future without the fear that he might not be part of it.
Nouha seemed to be proud of him as well. She gushed about what he'd accomplished all night. Kathy was, in part, annoyed by this for Shadaf's sake. Nouha had been so certain he'd never be anything but a burden because of his condition that she'd never bothered to learn anything about him, and now she was shocked and delighted to discover he was a real person with ambitions and not just a walking tragedy.
Part of Kathy wanted to shake the woman and tell her that her son had a
lways been amazing, that he'd always been there right in front of her. But she held her tongue. This was progress, in spite of everything, slow and occasionally frustrating as it was. And she could tell Shadaf was happy. They would have a chance for real, honest resolution that she and her father never had. She just hoped they took it.
"Fairuz has actually been a tremendous help," Shadaf said, gesturing to his cousin. "Her legal advice has been crucial to finding a way to enforce and support the transition through government."
"I find this aspect of law rather fascinating, honestly," Fairuz said shyly. "The way social policy shapes and changes the legal landscape and vice versa can be really incredible to see."
"She wants to become a human rights lawyer," Tessa said, looking at her girlfriend with infatuated pride. "She's going to be amazing. She's already top of her class."
"She will be the first woman in our family with a degree," Basira added, pleased. "She is an inspiration. Little Amira will be looking up to her soon."
"I couldn't ask for a better role model," Kathy said with a smile while Fairuz turned red with embarrassment at the praise.
"What about you, Ihab?" Tehar asked. "Do you think you will continue your education?"
"Oh, I don't know," Ihab said evasively. "I wouldn't want to leave Abu Sadah."
"She's in love with a gardener," Fairuz revealed, making Ihab squeak and hide her face.
"He's trained roses to grow by her window," Tessa reported. "And she leaves him homemade sweets every day. It's kind of nauseatingly adorable."
"That better be all he's doing," Basira warned. "The country may be changing, but you are still a respectable girl."
Ihab looked ready to crawl into her abaya to hide. Kathy changed the subject hoping to spare the other woman.
"You could study online," she offered. "If you wanted to keep learning without leaving the country. I bet you would enjoy a literature course."
"I do think I would like that," Ihab said, still hiding her face.