“Beer is fine,” she said as she took one of the bottles that he offered. Their hands touched in the process.
“We don’t have to stay here if it makes you uncomfortable,” he said as he sat down beside her. “We could go somewhere else.”
“No. This is fine. I like it here. In fact, I was disappointed that I didn’t get to come inside the other day we came out here. But you’re changing the subject again. You have a bad habit of doing that, and you should know I’m on to you.”
She smiled, but he could see something that looked like uncertainty in her eyes.
“Are you okay?” Juliette asked. “Talk to me, Jude. What you said about your father...is that why you’re considering another season?”
“Yeah. It is. Maybe. Partially. But I don’t want to talk about it right now. There’s nothing more to say and my dad has already ruined too many things for me. I’m not going to let him have tonight, too.”
She opened her mouth like she was going to say something, but then closed it again. When she finally did speak, she said, “How is it that we went all these years without talking, Jude?”
“You have no idea how many times I’ve asked myself that same question,” he said.
“Why didn’t you...try?” she said.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
The air stilled. The haints of the past crowded between them.
“When the man who had asked you to give up everything and elope with him—to spend the rest of your life with him—shows up three months later engaged to someone else, it makes it a little hard to be the first one to reach out.”
He nodded. “Fair enough. That’s why I came to see you first thing when I got into town.”
“This was probably a bad idea.” She started to push to a standing position but, with a strong arm, Jude pulled her down next to him. “No, it’s not.”
And he kissed her.
* * *
Damn if she didn’t kiss him back. Drinking in the life breath of him as if making up for lost time. This kiss was different than the one they’d shared right outside the cabin on his first day back. That one was tender and tentative. It spoke of promise, yet offered room for retreat. And she had retreated. Or at least she’d tried.
This kiss was possessive—it threatened to swallow her up. It demanded to know: What next?
When they came up for air, Jude looked wild-eyed. “I never wanted to hurt you, Jules. I wanted to marry you.”
She held her breath, wondering if he was going to add the three words she both longed and dreaded to hear: I still do.
But the moment passed. And it was a good thing because it gave her a moment to compose herself.
Was that why he’d come home? Was it why he’d come straight to her?
“Why didn’t you marry—What was her name? I mean, it doesn’t matter.”
But it does.
It still mattered, even though she wished it didn’t. Ten years was a long time ago, but in some regards, it felt like yesterday.
“Her name was Glori. She wasn’t you.”
“What?”
“I couldn’t marry her because she wasn’t you.”
His words knocked the breath out of her. She put some space between them by leaning her head back on the couch cushions and staring up at the ceiling.
She wasn’t you.
Juliette hated herself for getting so much satisfaction out of that. She wasn’t happy that someone else may have been hurt. But Jude was hers. He always had been. Always would...
“Is that why you never married anyone else?” she pressed.
“I don’t see a ring on your finger,” he quipped, but quickly softened his tone. “I’m sure it wasn’t for lack of opportunities. When you were busy owning Europe, I’m sure any number of Euro princes would’ve abdicated their thrones to have you.”
“If you think flattery is going to get you anywhere—”
He leaned down and kissed her again, long and slow.
“Why? Will it?” he said into her lips before taking possession of her mouth.
His hand slipped from the back of her head and migrated to her breast. He touched her tentatively at first, as if waiting for her to stop him. But she didn’t want him to stop.
She craved him.
His fingertips meandered down her belly to the hem of her dress and found their way underneath. He traced tiny circles on her belly, brushing away what was left of her better judgment. Most of it had taken the night off, leaving her to fend for herself when it came to saving herself from the inevitable heartbreak of Jude Campbell.
But she was way past the point of no return, and right now, right here with Jude was the only place she wanted to be.
* * *
A growl came from deep inside Jude’s throat as he lost himself in her, in them. The feel of her body in his arms unleashed a greedy beast in him that did not want to wait. It needed her now. He needed her now.
Without breaking the kiss, he pulled her to her feet, intending to walk her backward toward the bed, but somehow they ended up pressed against the wall next to the bed. She slid her arms around his neck. He ran his hands down her sides, wedging them between her smooth body and the rough wooden paneling on the wall. He slid them down until he’d taken possession of her perfectly round butt. He cupped her rear, pulling her even closer, exploring her neck with his mouth. She smelled so good, like flowers and fresh sunshine. He lingered for a moment, savoring the scent of her and the feel of their bodies pressed against each other.
She met him halfway.
She felt so good. But he needed more. He ran one of his hands down the back of her thigh until he found the bend in her knee and brought her leg to his hip so that they fit together. Puzzle pieces. Lock and key.
Every inch of him needed her. Even if he hadn’t been conscious of it before, he’d wanted to hold her like this, feel her just like this, from the moment he saw her standing there talking to herself in the middle of Lucy’s barn. The desire had grown as they’d sat in the Redbird and reminisced and laughed like old friends and now it was so great it had rendered him half out of his mind.
Even so, he hadn’t planned on seducing her—or had she seduced him? That was the thing about them. They tended to spontaneously combust when they were around each other. Sometimes it was difficult to discern where one of them stopped and the other began.
How had they gone so long without each other?
It became clear that he had been waiting for the right time to come back to her.
He’d wanted to come back a success. He’d wanted everyone to believe he was worthy of her. He’d waited because it had taken too long to convince himself that he was. No matter what he did, his dad would never believe he was worthy...of anything.
He’d had the brass ring in his hands and then he’d lost it—
No! Stop thinking.
He wasn’t going to ruin this. He wasn’t going to let Donovan Campbell ruin this.
He pressed his pelvis against her. And she answered by pushing back.
“God, Juliette...” he whispered against her mouth.
She fisted her hands into the collar of his shirt and held on to him, smothering his words with her lips and kissing him deeply, frantically.
He pulled his head back just slightly to look down at them. Her dress was pushed up around her waist. His shirt was askew. He ran his palms up her curves until he got to her dress. Impatiently, he tugged it up and over her head. She helped him by wiggling out of it.
Reverently, he ran his fingertips over the lace-covered bra, before delving beneath the frilly surface. He savored the feel of her skin. Even after all these years, she was so familiar. She felt like coming home. Like the home he’d needed all his life. His lips found her neck. His tongue teased a
trail to the tender spot at the base of her ear. He nuzzled her temple, kissed her eyes, her right cheekbone, her chin, finally reclaiming her lips. He was breathless and crazy drunk on the taste of her, the feel of her.
She answered him by yanking his shirttails out of his pants. She undid the first two buttons, but grew impatient and didn’t bother undoing the rest. She just pulled the shirt up and over his head, letting it fall to the floor.
His fingers worked the hooks of her bra—light blue lace, with matching panties. Pushing it aside, he lowered his head and found her nipple, taking it into his mouth. She cried out. It was the most beautiful song he’d ever heard.
She moved her hands to his waist and then around to his butt, pulling him against her. She made another noise, this one deep in her throat.
He helped her out of her bra, almost hating to remove the delicate lace. It was sexy, erotic, but what waited underneath had even more promise. As her bra fell to the floor, he slid a hand down her hips, hooking his thumbs in the elastic ribbons that were connected to the scant triangle that barely covered her center. He tugged them lower and lower until they fell away.
He slid his hand between her legs. God, she was just as turned on as he was.
Slow the hell down, man. Slow way down.
One way to reset the pace was to move over to the bed. But she was having no part of that until she had gotten rid of the last barrier between them. She undid the button on his jeans, lowered his zipper and tugged away the offending fabric. As she took him in her hands, he was afraid he was going to come undone at the feel of her touch.
“Do you have a condom?” she murmured.
“Somewhere,” he said, a little dazed.
“Wait, actually, I have one.” She put some space between them. It was a sobering move.
“You have one?”
“Yeah. Just a sec. It’s in my purse. Hold on.”
He hated to let go of her. He should have been better prepared, but this was the last place he thought they’d end up tonight. But things had changed. In a drastic way. And he certainly wasn’t complaining.
“Don’t go away.” She kissed him. “I’ll be right back.”
His groin grew even tighter as he watched her walk across the room to the table.
“Did you plan on seducing me tonight?” He laughed. “Because if you did that is fine with me. Just hurry up.”
“No, I didn’t. This was a gift.” She held up the silver packet. “It’s compliments of some very good friends who obviously know me better than I know myself.”
She turned off the lights. The only thing illuminating the room was the full moon streaming in through the slats of the blinds. She made her way back to him and pushed him down onto the bed.
“Allow me,” she said, getting onto her knees. She made haste in unwrapping the condom and tossing away the foil, but after that, she slowed down. She took her time with him, stroking him, kissing him until he got so close to the edge he didn’t know if he could handle it anymore.
“Juliette,” he pleaded. “Please. If you keep that up, I don’t know how much longer I can last.”
She sheathed him and then straddled him.
She was so beautiful.
He was desperate for her, but he wanted this moment to last. He had no choice but to purposely slow things down. He slid his hand between her thighs and explored her with his fingers. She was more than ready for him and just the feel of her—so wet—caused a moan to escape from deep in his throat.
“I need you inside me,” she said. “Now.”
He turned her over onto her back and situated himself between her thighs. She helped him find his way inside her. As he buried himself in her, it felt as if their souls had become one. Another deep groan escaped from his throat. If he’d been half out of his mind earlier, he’d completely lost it now. He was way past thinking sensibly.
But by the grace of something sacred, he managed to hold still long enough to get control of himself. Then, when he was in charge again, he began to move, and she matched him move for move until they rediscovered that timeless rhythm that was their very own. They’d always been so good together. They still were.
She slid her arms around his neck, holding on tight as he plunged deeper and deeper. Every thrust brought them closer together, closer to the edge of delight that was on the not-so-distant horizon, where they could spill over into breathless, crazy-good ecstasy.
As the rhythm got more and more intense, Juliette tightened around him—her muscles clenched and released. As she cried out, they went over the edge together.
When he finally came back down to earth, Jude was completely out of breath; his whole body was spent. She was panting and holding on to him as if he was her life preserver. They lay like that, holding each other for a very long time, until their breathing returned to normal and the world started turning again.
“I want to hold you forever,” Jude said. “Do you think you could live happily in my arms, here in this cabin with me?”
* * *
“If you keep doing to me what you just did, I know I could be happy right here,” she said, snuggling closer to him. She meant it. This was the closest to heaven she’d been in ages. Maybe since the last time they’d been together.
But what now? As right as it felt, maybe jumping into...things with him hadn’t been a very smart idea. Had she just set herself up for the biggest hurt of her life—losing him again?
Even so, Juliette nuzzled into the crook of his shoulder. She couldn’t help herself.
He held her tighter. His other arm was thrown across his eyes, and she could still tell that his eyes were closed.
“I’ve never done this before,” she whispered.
“What?” he said. His voice sounded drowsy. “Yes, you have. I know that for a fact.”
Juliette gave his shoulder a little push. “No, I’m talking about no-strings-attached sex.”
“Is that what you want?”
He pulled away and propped himself up on his elbow. She gazed up at him, glad she could see his face.
Juliette prided herself on being decisive, on knowing her own mind and being in charge of her emotions. Yet here she was—a tangled-up mess.
A naked, tangled-up mess. Lying here with a man who had broken her heart and crushed her spirit and she needed to talk about it.
“No, it’s not what I want. Not exactly. That’s why I’ve never made a practice of having casual sex. It’s always been within the boundaries of commitment. This sort of free-floating thing between us is weird for me. It will just take some getting used to.”
“Are you writing us off just like that?” Jude asked.
“No, I guess I’m just preparing myself. I’m afraid of getting hurt again. I loved you, Jude. For a long time, I thought I never wanted to be in love again.”
“I love you, Jules. I still love you.” He kissed her temple and ran his rope-roughened hand over her sensitive skin. It felt glorious.
“Then promise me you will stay. It could be so easy if you would just stay. Retire from the circuit. Make a life here with me.”
She pulled the covers up a little more and crossed her arms in front of her, feeling exposed.
Jude’s arm closed around her and pulled her in closer as he lowered himself next to her.
Their bodies were close, but he wasn’t saying anything. It made her mind go in a million different directions. She took everything so seriously these days. Even the feel of the pad of his thumb grazing her nipple didn’t distract. It only reminded her of her nakedness—and how vulnerable she felt.
His thumb stilled. She could’ve sworn his breathing did, too.
“I want to promise you a lot of things,” he said. “But I don’t know if I can promise you that. I need to get myself into a position where I can take car
e of you. And I can’t promise you I’m not going to ride one more year.”
“But, Jude, I have enough money that I can take care of both of us.”
“There’s a dozen reasons pushing me toward it and at the top of that list is that I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
He withdrew his arms and crossed them over his bare chest.
“I have some major responsibilities. I can’t come into this unless we’re equal, because that really would make me a loser who never amounted to anything except living off his girlfriend.”
Juliette turned over onto her stomach so that she could see Jude’s eyes.
“It would be a partnership,” she offered. “I’d get us started and you would contribute. I know you would. There are lots of ways to contribute to a new enterprise without a cash investment. I mean, say I wanted to start a bull riding school. I might bring the capital, but I would have no clue about the inner workings of the operation.”
“The best way to learn is to come on the road with me. Watch and learn.” He smiled that smile and raked his fingers through the hair at her temple. She knew he was trying to distract her.
“I’m not going to do that, Jude.”
“Okay, it looks like we’re at a crossroads. Either we can get upset or we can salvage the night. Frankly, I vote for salvaging the night.”
He slipped his hand between her legs and began teasing her to go again. And, damn him, damn her body, she was responding. She still loved him. They still had time for her to convince him to stay—but not right now.
His fingers were working their magic and her touch had him ready to go again. But his cell phone rang, sounding from somewhere in the heap of clothes on the floor.
It rang four times, then stopped. The interruption didn’t deter him; he leaned in and kissed her, pulling her on top of him.
His phone sounded. Again.
Juliette pulled back. “Should you answer that?”
“Answer what?”
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