by R. M. Garcia
“Hey, Abbie,” Kelly said as Abbie walked up. “Where have you been today?”
“I have been thinking.” Abbie was unable to hide her distressed state.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Kelly could see right away that there was something amiss.
“I think I messed up.” Abbie slumped down into a seat next to Kelly.
“I mess up all the time,” Rebecca replied.
“Oh, please go sit at the children’s table!” Trista did little to hide the annoyance in her voice. “Just ignore her, Abbs. What happened?” Trista saw just a little too much of herself in Rebecca, and that reminded her of her past mistakes.
“I kissed Donnie,” Abbie confessed.
“Oh, hot damn!” Rebecca leaned over the table to better hear the conversation.
“How do you feel about that, Abbs?” Kelly knew this was the exact opposite of what she wanted.
“Awful and nice all at once, I’m so confused,” she replied. “I feel so guilty too.”
“Why?” Rebecca asked. “He’s hot! Go kiss him again!”
“Becca please shut up!” Trista said. “Can’t you see Abbie is really upset over this?” Trista was truly concerned, where Kelly had only dated one boy all through high school; she had suffered more than her share of heartbreaks.
“What do you want to do?” Kelly wasn’t sure how to help her friend.
“I don’t know what to do. What do you guys think?” Abbie asked.
“You know my answer,” Rebecca replied quickly.
“Do you like him?” Trista asked. “Is he worth it?” Trista knew she needed to ask that question. She needed for Abbie to ask herself that question.
“Oh, yeah . . . he’s the sweetest and most endearing guy I know.” Abbie smiled as she remembered her time spent with him. “He’s totally worth it.”
“So what is the problem then?” Rebecca asked, “seems cut and dry to me.”
“If Abbs dates him, she will have less time to work, he’ll make demands on her time and will want to spend it with her,” Kelly explained. “If she doesn’t have enough money for housing at Princeton, she won’t be able to go to school there.” Trista wasn’t up to speed on the situation and was not clear on one thing. “Princeton is an hour away. Why don’t you just drive back and forth and stay home?”
“Mom and Dad only have one car, and with all the medical bills from last year, they can’t afford another car for me.” Abbie’s mind drifted, and she wondered about the medical bills Donnie’s mother incurred before she died. Why was she thinking about that now?
“Then you buy a car then. You got a lot of scratch saved away, right?” Rebecca’s logic was sound; she was showing a lot of maturity right now, quite unusual for her.
“Yes, I do, but then there’s the insurance on the car.” Abbie pulled out her phone and showed Rebecca some quotes she had saved on it. “It’s four thousand dollars a year for a driver my age to insure a car.”
“Yikes . . . !” Trista was not aware that it cost that much. She then remembered that her parents were wealthy and Abbie’s not as comfortable.
“Four thousand, forty four hundred, six thousand, this is nuts,” Rebecca continued to rattle off the quotes, “Sweet Christmas!”
“So I can buy a car but won’t be able to drive it,” Abbie continued. “Housing where I’m looking at is about four hundred a month. Then there is food and other living expenses, which are not covered by my scholarship.”
“I’m getting the picture now.” Trista understood why she had worked job after job and through the last two summers.
“OK, so don’t date him,” Kelly said and added, “and stick to your original plan. It seems like the best plan.” Abbie began to cry, catching the girls by surprise.
“Oh, Abbs, what is it?” Kelly placed her arms around her.
“You don’t understand, you guys. He opened up so much to me.” She was no longer able to hold back her tears. “I just don’t want him to hurt anymore.”
“What are you talking about, Abbs? We don’t understand,” Trista said after sitting on the other side of Abbie and embracing her also.
“I know why he’s been so quiet all year. It’s so sad.”
“Do you want to tell us?” Kelly asked. “I mean is it a secret?”
“No . . . I don’t think it’s a secret. He just doesn’t talk about it.” Abbie wondered if she should tell her friends, but she needed advice.
“Well, then tell us. That way we can help you,” Rebecca exclaimed. Abbie thought that Rebecca was again right on point. It was so simple to her.
“Both his mom and dad died about a year ago, just weeks apart.”
“That truly sucks and I know that’s really sad and all, and it explains why he has been so broody,” Trista replied. “But that wasn’t your fault. You’re not responsible for that.”
“Trista is right,” Kelly added. “It’s really unfortunate that happened to him, and it’s great that he could move forward, but you have to worry about your future first.”
Abbie’s tears continued to flow. “But his dad, his father, was the man that died saving my mom . . .” Kelly, Trista, and even Rebecca were left speechless.
“Oh, wow!” Kelly said finally breaking the silence. It was all she could come up with.
“Are you for real?” Rebecca remembered the beating that Abbie’s mother had taken at the hands of her assailants; Camille had been hospitalized for almost a week.
“Oh, sweetie, I see your problem.” Trista was lost; there was nothing that had ever happened to her that she could use to give her any advice.
“If I hadn’t kissed him, we could still just be friends,” Abbie said getting hold of herself now. “Now if he wants more and I turn him away . . .”
“You’re afraid that he will feel hurt, and you don’t want to do that to him,” Kelly finished.
“It’s the last thing I want to do to him.” Abbie continued to feel ill to her stomach; she was regretting skipping breakfast now.
“Well, I think you just need to be honest with him. Explain to him exactly why you don’t date and tell him it’s nothing to do with him.” Trista rattled off the advice quickly and looked at Kelly to follow her lead.
“Yeah, I think that is the best course, Abbs. If you let him know that you are not dating anyone, he should understand. Don’t lead him on any further.”
“Thanks, guys, I think he will be cool with that. He’s really tough inside, and who knows what the future holds, right?” Abbie started wiping the tears from her eyes.
“Right . . .” Kelly agreed.
“Right . . .” Trista agreed.
“Done . . .” Rebecca added, placing Abbie’s phone down.
“Is that my phone, Becca?” Abbie asked.
“Yup . . . I just sent him a text,” Rebecca answered.
“You bimbo bubblehead,” Trista screamed. “Did it ever occur to you, that message would have been better delivered in person?!”
“I just wanted to help!” Rebecca said defensively. Kelly grabbed the phone and handed it to Abbie, who quickly reviewed the sent messages.
Donnie made his way down the hall. He was sure Abbie had lunch this period, so he was certain he wouldn’t bump into her anywhere near her locker. He was giddy and had been smiling all morning. He pulled out the card he and Misha had picked out and slipped into the locker through the air vents. He was excited and wondered how she would receive the card and heartfelt words he had picked to write inside. He started to walk toward the study hall to visit Mr. S when his phone beeped. He was thrilled to see it was a message from Abbie and began to reading the message right away.
Donnie, it was a hot kiss, but I just can’t date you.
I have other priorities in my life, and you are not part of them.
Don’t be sad, Abbs.
Donnie read the message, and his jaw dropped. Right then, he realized that Abbie had been just too good to be true. He finally met someone he thought he could relate to, bu
t he was wrong. He thought about what to do next, and his response was to return the text.
“I can’t believe you did that, Becca!” Abbie unceremoniously raised her voice to her.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Rebecca said apologetically.
“Becca, that was so stupid,” Kelly said.
“He didn’t deserve that. He’s my friend. This is so fucked up!” Abbie yelled out.
“You need to go talk to him right away,” Trista urged. “What class does he have right now?” Abbie thought for a moment.
“It’s his free period, but he usually goes and sits in study hall with Mr. Simmons.” At that moment, Abbie’s phone vibrated indicating that she had received a text message. The table went silent as everyone stared at the phone in apprehension. Abbie grabbed it and read the message aloud.
Hey, Abbie, I completely understand. You have a bright future ahead of you, and I’m damaged goods. I won’t bother you or your family anymore. Don’t worry about me either. I’ll be just fine now. Thank you for everything, really. Please do me two favors. 1) Keep the rest of the money for the sessions, 2) Please destroy the note I left in your locker. It’s better if you don’t ever read it.
“Wow! He wrote you a note.” Kelly remembered the first few notes her boyfriend Trevor had written her. It was how he won her over. “Do you think you should read it?”
“I can go get it and drop it in a shredder if you don’t want to be tempted.” Trista was all too serious.
“I want to read it,” Rebecca said quietly. A glance from Kelly made her sit quiet.
“Should I read it?” On top of everything, now there was this note. Abbie was torn.
“No . . .” Kelly was sure if she read the note, her logic would go right out the window.
“Yes . . . !” Rebecca clapped her hands a few times.
“Up to you,” Trista answered shrugging her shoulders. Three answers, and none of them helped Abbie.
“Thanks, tons of help there. Let’s go get it. I’ll decide after I see it.” The quartet reached Abbie’s locker within a few minutes. Abbie took a deep breath and opened the locker. There at the bottom was the sky-blue envelope. Kelly, Trista, and Abbie just stared at the letter unflinchingly.
“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” Rebecca leaned down and grabbed the envelope. Before anyone could take it from her, she ripped it open and began reading it.
“What does it say?” Abbie wondered what it said but was too afraid to read it.
“Aw, Kelly was right,” Rebecca replied. “He’s super sweet, isn’t he?”
“Well, Abbs,” Kelly asked and added, “shredder or no?” Trista looked at Abbie and knew.
“Read it.” Trista smiled as she spoke. It was rare to see a genuine smile from her.
“Why? . . .” Abbie asked.
“How many love notes does a girl get? What if he’s the one and you let him slip through your fingers?”
“But . . .”
“But nothing, I have known you for twelve years, and you have never cried over a boy,” Kelly interrupted. “There’s something there. We all see it.” Abbie nervously grabbed the card from Rebecca, turned it over, and began to read it.
Dear Abbie,
I feel uneasy writing this, as I’ve never written a note like this before. I’d much rather to talk to you face-to-face, but a friend said that writing this would be a good way to express myself without flubbing the meaning. It turned out to be good advice as it took me all morning to come up with these words. I wanted to tell you that I never intended to have anything with you. I was happy with you as my friend, a good friend. But then you kissed me. I’m not sure why, but I’m glad you did. You brought joy back into my life. You showed me the best part of you, after you saw the worst of mine. That meant so much to me. You know that getting close to anyone is hard for me. I always feel like they are just a heartbeat away from leaving me, and that still terrifies me. I was afraid to get close to you as well, but your warm heart and that cute crooked little smile gave me the strength to go forward and try again. And that’s what this letter is about. If you are willing, I want to go forward with you and try again. I want to walk the halls, holding your hand. I want to listen to your voice, talk about anything. I know it is months away, but would you go to prom with me? I’d love another chance to hold you in my arms again.
CHAPTER 7
Parkour
“I NEED TO talk to Donnie, right now,” Abbie said anxiously.
“Call him,” Kelly suggested. Abbie dialed his number on her phone but got his voice mail.
“Donnie, it’s Abbie. I need to talk to you please. Please call me back.” Abbie looked at her friends and frowned.
“I’m sure he’ll call you back,” Kelly said.
“I’m not . . .”
“Why do you think that?” Trista asked.
“Fight or flight.” Abbie began walking briskly toward study hall. The others followed closely behind. Within a few moments, they arrived at the library.
“Do you think he’s here?” Kelly asked.
“I hope so.” Abbie was worried. She opened the door to the library, and as usual Mr. Simmons was at his desk. He was reading a magazine when he noticed the girls walk in.
“Ladies, can I help you?” Mr. Simmons was surprised to see Abbie and her friends but was always glad to see her.
“Have you seen Donnie, Mr. Simmons?”
“No, he was supposed to stop by. He said he had something important to tell me and seemed really happy about it. Why do you ask?”
Abbie’s heart sunk. “I just need to explain a misunderstanding to him.”
“Let me check something.” Mr. Simmons grabbed the phone and dialed the office. “Can you tell me if Donnie Guerrero signed out? OK, thank you.” He put down the receiver back in its cradle and looked at the girls once again. “I’m afraid he’s gone for the day. He signed himself out.”
“Is he eighteen already?” Kelly asked.
“No, he won’t be eighteen until July.” Abbie surprised herself by remembering that bit of information; they discussed it only once, weeks ago.
“He can leave school anytime he wants. He just has to sign out.”
“How, you need to have a parent sign you out or be an adult to leave school early? And we know . . .” Trista stopped herself from saying what Mr. Simmons already knew.
“So you’re aware about what happened to his parents?” Mr. Simmons shook his head at the girls. “Please keep it to yourselves, please. He’s had a long recovery, and the last thing he needs is to be reminded of his loss by the entire student body.”
“Yes, Mr. Simmons, we know. He told me about it,” Abbie explained. “And, yes, we’ll keep it a secret. We promise.”
Mr. Simmons was surprised. “He actually told you? That is great. Well, Donnie is emancipated,” he explained. “He needed to do it, to keep his house.”
Trista put two and two together, “The lawyer, that’s why he was there.”
“Where was he?” Mr. Simmons was starting to wonder why these girls were all looking for Donnie.
“The courthouse, I saw him with a lawyer there once.”
Mr. Simmons took a sigh of relief. “Yes, unfortunately he has several attorneys.”
“OK, Mr. Simmons, thanks for the info,” Abbie said, and the girls left the library. They went back to their classes as the lunch period ended. Abbie tried to reach Donnie after school and late into the night, but he neither answered nor called Abbie back.
Donnie was driving home when his phone rang. He looked down and saw that it was Misha. He activated his Bluetooth and answered, “Yo . . .”
“How did it go? Did you drop off the letter?” Misha was still excited for Donnie, and his tone made that quite apparent.
“Yeah, I did, and not twenty seconds later, I got a text from her.”
“You don’t sound happy about that. What did she say? Misha could tell something was amiss.
“Dude, she doesn’t want anything to do w
ith me. She texted it to me.”
“What a tease!” Misha replied. “Fuck that bitch!”
“I’m not really mad. I’m just numb right now,” Donnie sighed a bit afterward. “Like that time I got hit by that car.”
“Where are you, man?” Misha was worried about his state of mind.
“I’m driving home, but I have a few stops to make first.”
“You were supposed to meet me for lunch.”
“I have to take a rain check.”
“What are your plans then for the rest of the day? We have practice today.”
“I quit the team. I called coach and told him.”
“Now I’m worried.” Basketball was the only thing he held onto after his parents died. This was bad. “You need to hang? I’ll cut the rest of the day. Just come pick my butt up.”
“No, it’s OK. I do have some errands to run.”
“Like what?” Misha was trying to figure out what Donnie was thinking. “I hope you’re not going all depressed on me again.”
“No, I’m good,” Donnie replied. “It feels like I have a massive weight on my chest at the moment, but I’m managing.”
“A’ight, I’ll drop by after practice, OK?”
“Yeah, that’s fine. I should be home by then.”
“OK, I’ll see you later then?” Misha hung up and was left feeling a bit anxious all the way through basketball practice. The day seemed to drag, and he worried about his friend’s state of mind. Misha had one of the guys on the team drop him at Donnie’s house after practice. He was surprised to find a “For-Sale” sign planted in the yard. With an angry sigh, he walked up the driveway. “Donnie!” he cried out as he entered the house.