by John Fowles
Eliduc stayed a long time, but in the end took his leave and went away. Guilliadun was very unwilling to let him go, but there it was. He returned to his lodgings, unsmiling and very thoughtful. The girl alarmed him, since she was the king's daughter and he the king's servant. She had seemed so shy, yet subtly accused him of something. He feels badly done by--to have been so long in the country, yet not to have seen her once till now. Yet when he said that to himself, he felt ashamed. He remembered his wife, and how he had promised to behave as a husband should.
Now she had met him, the girl wanted to make Eliduc her lover. She had never liked a man more--if only she can, if only he'll agree. All night she was awake thinking of him, and had neither rest nor sleep. The next morning she got up at dawn and went to a window and called down to her page. Then she revealed everything to him.
'Dear God,' she says, 'I'm in such a state, I've fallen into such a trap. I love the new mercenary. Eliduc. Who's fought so * As a mark of favour, allowed her by her higher rank. Normally medieval gentlemen took the lady's left hand, and by the fingers alone. Even men held delicate hands like this--going arm-in-arm was almost unknown before the Renaissance. This partly explains, or is explained by, the high erotic value accorded the female hand throughout the Middle Ages, and even as late as Holbein. I may mention here that the seductive use of seethrough fabrics is well attested from other (shocked masculine) sources of the period. It helps to visualize Guilliadun--Guilli- means 'golden'--to borrow a passage from another of Marie's stories (Lanval): 'She was dressed like this: in a white linen shift, loosely laced at the sides so that one could see the bare skin from top to bottom. She had an attractive slim-waisted figure. Her neck was as white as snow on a branch; bright eyes in a pale face, a lovely mouth, a perfect nose, dark eyebrows; but her hair was wavy and corn-coloured. In the sun it had a light finer thin gold thread.' brilliantly. I haven't slept a wink all night, my eyes just wouldn't shut. If he's really in love with me, if he'll only show he's serious, I'll do anything he likes. And there's so much to hope for--he could be king here one day. I'm mad about him. He's so intelligent, so easy-mannered. If he doesn't love me, I'll die of despair.'
When he'd heard all she had to say, the young page gave her good advice: no need to give up hope so soon.
'My lady, if you're in love with him, then let him know it. Send him a belt or a ribbon--or a ring. To see if it pleases him. If he's happy to accept the gift, looks glad to hear from you, then you're in. He loves you. And show me an emperor who wouldn't dance for joy if he knew you fancied him.'
The girl mulled over this advice.
'But how shall I know just by a gift whether he really wants me? You don't realize. A gentleman has to accept, whether he likes the sender or not. One has to take such things with good grace. I should loathe it if he made fun of me. But perhaps you could learn something from his expression. So get ready. Quickly. And go.'
'I am ready.'
'Take him this gold ring. And here, give him my belt. And be very warm when you greet him for me.'
The page turned away, leaving her in such a state that she very nearly calls him back. Nevertheless she lets him go--and then begins to rave to herself.
'Oh God, I've fallen in love with a foreigner! I don't even know if he's of good family. Whether he won't suddenly disappear. I shall be left in despair. I'm insane to have made it all so obvious. I'd never even spoken with him before yesterday, and now I'm throwing myself at him. I think he'll just despise me. No he won't, if he's nice he'll like me for it. It's all in the lap of the gods now. If he doesn't care for me at all, I shall feel such a fool. I'll never be happy again, as long as I live.'
Meanwhile, as she agonized on like that, the page rode fast on his way. He found Eliduc and gave him in private the kind of greetings the girl had asked. Then he handed him the little ring and the belt. The knight had thanked him, then put the ring on his finger and fastened the belt* around his waist. But he said nothing else to the page, asked him nothing--except that he offered him his own ring and belt in return. But the page didn't accept them and went away back to his young mistress. He found her in her room; then passed on Eliduc's return of greetings and his thanks.
'For pity's sake don't hide the truth. Does he really love me?'
'I think so. He wouldn't deceive you. In my opinion he's playing polite and being shrewd--he knows how to hide his feelings. I said hallo to him for you and gave him the presents. He put the belt on himself, and was rather careful to get it right. Then the ring on his fihger. I didn't say anything else to him. Or he to me.'
'But did he realize what it meant? Because if he didn't, I'm lost!'
'I honestly don't know. But if you must have my solemn opinion, then, well, since he didn't turn up his nose at what you sent, he doesn't exactly... hate you?'
'Stop teasing me, you cheeky boy! I'm perfectly well aware he doesn't hate me. How could I ever hurt him? Except by loving him so much. But if he does, he deserves to die. Until I've spoken with him myself, I won't have anything to do with him. Either through you or anyone else. I'll show him myself how wanting him tears me apart. But if only I knew how long he was staying here!' - 'Lady, the king has him under contract for a year. That ought to be time enough to show him how you feel?'
When she heard Eliduc wasn't going away, Guilliadun was in ecstasy: how wonderful that he must stay! What she didn't know was the torment Eliduc had been in from the moment he * The fashionable belt of the Middle Ages had links, with a hook at one end. It was fastened with a free end left hanging at the side. There is a superb fourteenth-century example in thornwood, made for a lady of Breton family, in the Victoria and Albert Museum. set eyes on her. Fate had dealt him a cruel hand--that promise to his wife when he left home, that he'd never look at another woman. Now his heart was in a vice. He wanted to stay faithful. But nothing could hide the fact that he had hopelessly fallen for Guilliadun and her prettiness. To see her again and talk with her, kiss her and hold her in his arms... Yet he could never show her this longing, which would disgrace him--on the one hand for breaking his promise to his wife, on the other because of his relationship with the king. He was torn in two; then mounted his horse, and havered no more. He calls his friends to him, then goes to the castle to speak to the king. If it can be managed, he will see the girl--and that is why he hurries so.
The king has just risen from table and gone to his daughter's rooms, and now he's begun to play chess with a knight from overseas. On the other side of the chessboard, his daughter had to show the moves. Eliduc came forward. The king greeted him kindly and made Eliduc sit beside him. He spoke to his daughter.
'My dear, you must get to know this gentleman. And pay him every honour. There's no finer knight in the country.'
The girl was delighted to hear this command from her father. She stands up, invites Eliduc to sit with her well away from the others. Both are struck dumb with love. She dared not explain herself to him, and he was afraid to speak as well... except to thank her for the presents she had sent him: he had never liked a present so much. She tells him she is pleased that he is pleased. Then suddenly why she sent him the ring, and her belt as well that her body was his, she couldn't resist, she loved him to madness, she gave herself to his every wish. If she couldn't have him, he knew, he must know it was true, no other man would ever have her.
Now it was Eliduc's turn.
'Princess, I'm so happy that you love me. All joy. That you should like me much--how could I feel otherwise? I shan't ever forget it. You know I'm promised to your father for a year, under oath that I shan't leave till the war's ended. Then I shall go home. Provided you'll let me. I don't want to stay here.'
'Eliduc, I'm so grateful for your frankness. You're so honest, you know such a lot. Long before you go you'll have decided what to do with me. I love you, I trust you more than anything else in the world.'
They knew now that they were sure of each other; and on that occasion no more was said.
Eliduc
goes back to his lodgings, enchanted at how well things have turned out. He can talk as often as he likes with Guilliadun, they're wildly in love.
He now occupied himself so well with the war that he captured the enemy king, and liberated the old king's country. His military reputation grew, as did that of his ingenuity and public generosity. On this side of his life everything went very well.
But during this same time the King of Brittany had sent three messengers over the sea to find Eliduc. Things at home were in a very bad way, and getting worse. All his strongpoints were under siege, his lands being put to the sword. With increasing bitterness, the king regretted having driven Eliduc away. His judgment had been distorted by the malicious advice he had listened to. Already he had thrown the treacherous clique who had blackened Eliduc and intrigued against him into permanent exile. Now, in his hour of great need, he commanded, he summoned, he begged Eliduc--in the name of the trust that had existed between them ever since the knight first paid homage to him--to come and save the situation. He was in the direst straits.
Eliduc read this news. It distressed him deeply. He thought of Guilliadun. He loved her now to the anguished depths of his being, and she felt the same for him. But there had been no madness between them--nothing improper, theirs was no casual affaire. Caressing and talking, giving each other lovely presents--the passionate feeling between them hadn't gone beyond that. She kept it so on purpose, because of what she hoped. She thought he'd be entirely hers, and hers alone, if she played her cards right.
She did not know there was a wife.
'Alas,' thinks Eliduc to himself, 'I've gone astray. I've stayed too long here. It was cursed, the day I first set eyes on this country. I've fallen head over heels in love. And she with me. If I have to say farewell to her now, one of us will die. Perhaps both. And yet I must go, the King of Brittany's letter commands it, and there's my promise to him. To say nothing of the one I swore my wife. I must pull myself together. I can't stay any longer, I have no alternative. If I were. to marry Guilliadun, the church would never stand for it. In all ways it's a mess. And oh God, to think of never seeing her again! I must be open with her, whatever the cost. I'll do whatever she wants, whichever way she sees it. Her father has got a decent peace, no one wants war with him any more. I'll plead the King of Brittany's need and ask for permission to leave before the day's out. It was what was agreed--I'd go to him as soon as we had peace here. I'll see Guilliadun and explain the whole business. Then she can tell me what she wants, and I'll do my best to make it come true.'
Without further delay, Eliduc went to the king to seek leave. He explained the situation in Brittany and showed him the letter the king there had sent him--the cry for help. The old king reads the command and realizes he will lose Eliduc. He is very upset and worried. He offered him a share of his possessions, a third of his heritage, his treasury--if he'll only stay, he'll do so much for him that Eliduc will be eternally grateful.
But Eliduc stayed firm.
'At this juncture, since my king's in danger and he's taken such trouble to find me, I must go to his assistance. Nothing would make me stop here. But if you ever need my services again, I'll willingly return--and bring plenty of other knights with me.'
At that the king thanked him and gave him leave to go without further argument. He puts all his household possessions at Eliduc's disposal--gold and silver, hounds and horses and beautiful silks. Eliduc took no more than he needed. Then he politely told the king that he would like very much to speak with his daughter, if it were allowed.
'Consent is a pleasure,' said the king.
Eliduc sends a young lady ahead to open the door of Guilliadun's room. Then he goes in to speak with her. When she saw him, she cried out his name and passionately clung to him. Then they discussed his problem, and he explained briefly the necessity for his journey. But when he had made it all clear, and yet pointedly still not asked for her permission to leave, for his freedom, she nearly fainted with the shock. Her face went white. When Eliduc sees th agony she is in, he begins to go mad. He keeps kissing her mouth and begins to cry in sympathy. At last he takes her in his arms and holds her until she recovers.
'You sweetest thing, oh God, listen--you're life and death to me, you're my whole existence. That's why I've come. So that we can talk about it, and trust each other. I must go home. I've got your father's permission. But I'll do whatever you want. Whatever may happen to me.'
'Then take me with you, if you don't want to stay! If you don't, I'll kill myself. Nothing good or happy will ever happen to me again.'
Gently Eliduc tells her how much he loves her; how beautiful she is.
'But I've solemnly sworn to obey your father. If I take you away with me I'll be breaking my oath to him before its term is over. I swear, I promise you with all my heart that if you'll let me leave you now for a while, but name a day on which I must come back, then nothing on earth will stop me doing so--as long as I'm alive and in good health. My life's entirely in your hands.'
She loved him so much. So she gave him afinal date, a day by which he must return and take her away. They parted in tears and misery, exchanging their gold rings and tenderly kissing each other.
Eliduc rode to the sea. The wind was good and the crossing quick. When he gets home, the King of Brittany is overjoyed, and so are Eliduc's relations and friends and everyone else--and especially his wife, who remained as attractive and worthy of him as ever. But all the time Eliduc stayed turned in on himself, because of the shock love-affaire in England. Nothing he saw gave him any pleasure, he wouldn't smile--he'll never be happy till he sees Guilliadun again. His wife was very depressed by his secretive behaviour, since she had no idea what caused it. She felt sorry for herself; kept asking if he hadn't heard from someone that she'd misbehaved while he was abroad. She'll willingly defend herself before the world, whenever he wants.
'My lady, no one's accused you of anything bad. But I've solemnly sworn to the king in the country where I've been that I shall return to him. He has great need of me. I told him I'd be on my way within a week, as soon as the King of Brittany had peace. I've got a huge task ahead of me before I can return. I can't take pleasure in anything at all until I've got back there. I will not break promises.'
And that was all he told his wife. He went to join the King of Brittany and helped him greatly. The king adopted his strategy and saved his kingdom. But when the date approached that Guilliadun had named, Eliduc intervened to make peace. He agreed all the terms the enemy wanted, then he got ready to travel and picked his companions--two nephews he was fond of and one of his pages, a boy who had known what was going on and had carried messages between Eliduc and Guilliadun. Besides them, only his squires; he didn't want anyone else. He made these companions swear to keep the secret.
He waits no longer, puts to sea and soon arrives in Totnes. At last he was back where he was so longed for. Eliduc was very cunning. He found an inn well away from the harbour, since he was very anxious not to be seen... traced and recognized. He got his page ready and sent him to Guilliadun to tell her he had returned and kept strictly to his promise. By night, when darkness had fallen, she must slip out of the city; the page would escort her and Eliduc come to meet her. The boy changed into a disguise and went all the way on foot straight to Exeter. He cleverly found a way to get into her private apartments; then greeted the princess and told her her lover had come back. He found her sad and hopeless, but when she hears the news she breaks down and begins to cry, then kisses and kisses the page. He told her she must leave with him that evening; and they spent the whole day planning their escape in every detail.
When night had come, they stole cautiously out of the city alone together. They were terrified someone might see them. She wore a silk dress delicately embroidered in gold and a short cloak.
About a bowshot from the city gate there Was a copse enclosed in a fine garden. Eliduc, who had come to fetch her, waited under the hedge. The page led her to the place. Eliduc sprang d
own from his horse and kissed her: such joy to meet again. He helped her on to a horse, then mounted his own and took her bridle. They rode quickly away, back to the port of Totnes, and boarded the ship at once: no other passengers but Eliduc's men and his beloved Guilliadun. They had favourable winds and settled weather, but when they came near the coast of Brittany they ran into a storm. A contrary wind drove them out away from the harbour. Then the mast split and broke, and they lost all the sails. They prayed in despair--to God, to St Nicholas and St Clement--to Our Lady, that she might invoke Christ's protection for them, save them from drowning and bring them to land. Backwards and forwards they were driven along the coast, the storm raging round them. One of the sailors began to shout.
'What are we doing? My lord, it's the girl you've brought aboard who's going to drown us all. We'll never reach land. You have a proper wife at home. But now you want another woman. It's against God and the law. Against all decency and religion. So let's throw her in the sea, and save our skins.'
Eliduc hears what the man cries, and nearly goes berserk.
'You son of a whore, you fiend, you rat--shut your mouth! If she goes into the sea, I'll make you pay for it!'
He held Guilliadun in his arms, gave her what comfort he could. She was seasick, and riven by what she'd just heard: that her lover had a wife at home. She fainted and fell to the deck, deathly pale; and stayed like that, without breath or sign of consciousness. Eliduc knew she was only there because of him, and sincerely thought she was dead. He was in agony. He stood up and rushed at the sailor and struck him down with an oar. The man collapsed to the deck and Eliduc kicked the body over the side, where the waves took it away. As soon as he had done that, he went to the helm. There he steered and held the ship so well that they came to the harbour and land. When they were safely in, he cast anchor and had the gangway let down. Still Guilliadun lay unconscious, her only appearance that of death. Eliduc wept without stop--if he had had his way, he would have been dead with her. He asked his companions their advice, where he could carry her. He refused to leave her side until she was buried with every honour and full ritual, and laid to rest in holy ground. She was a king's daughter, it was her due. But his men were at a loss and could suggest nothing. Eliduc began to think for himself. His own house was not far from the sea, not a day's ride away. There was a forest around it, some thirty miles across. A saintly hermit had lived there for forty years and had a chapel. Eliduc had often spoken with him.