by Coralee June
"You're a bastard. We could have been together," I whispered. Even though I loved the others, this truth still stung.
"Yeah, we could have. But I picked power instead. I guess you can blame dear old Dad for that trait," he said in a tone full of loathing.
I let out a slow exhale while contemplating what to say next. When the words came out, there was a finality to them that calmed me.
"In your own way, you protected me, Josiah. I might not agree with your methods, or the various paths you chose, but thank you." Josiah leaned forward, waiting to hear more, but my words fell flat. I couldn’t tell him what he wanted to hear.
"That’s it? That’s all you have to say? I'm a murderer. I'm Lackley's son!" he screamed, but his voice was scratchy like gravel.
"I don't know what you want me to say!" I yelled back. "That I am questioning everything I ever knew? That I'm sad? I'm telling you thank you because it's easier than saying I hate what you've become."
Josiah laughed, and it sounded like Lackley’s manic giggles back in his lab in Dasos. "Baby, you might as well hate what I've always been, then. You loved a lie."
"Goodbye, Josiah," I whispered. Kemper grabbed my arm and pulled me up as Josiah yelled.
"Wait, Ash! Come back. I love you, Ash. I've always fucking loved you!" Josiah barked with such malice that it contradicted his hauntingly sentimental statement.
"I want to go home, Kemp," I cried as he held me and guided me back to the lab. He knew it wasn't the Stonewell Manor or even Dormas. Home was my guys.
Chapter Nineteen
I knew that when Huxley saw my red eyes and face, he would struggle to keep calm. He was so incredibly attuned to me. He went into stoic protector mode, assessing the situation and trying to find out what hurt and how he could heal it.
"I'm fine," I assured him. "I just need a second."
I made my way over to the couch where Jules was sitting and sipping a brightly colored drink. Kemper kissed me on the forehead before resuming his position at his workstation where he was tearing apart a fetter and trying to rebuild it.
"You might as well stop all that, I found a way to fix our little fetter problem," Jules said with a lazy wave. She was completely leaned back now, sinking into the soft cushions and enjoying herself.
"You said that earlier," Kemper said while spinning around on his stool.
I felt two confident hands grasp my shoulders and begin massaging. Jacob. He was always massaging me. Relaxing me. I rolled my neck as he worked through the stress that gathered in knots around my tendons.
"What did you mean by that, exactly?" Kemper asked her.
"I'd prefer to wait and show you later." Jules yawned and sipped again. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "Tallis will be here in three days."
I slowly turned my head to her while cocking a brow in confusion. "Oh really?" I asked as Cyler walked closer, yanked the drink from her hands, then sniffed the contents.
"Do you honestly think now is the time to be drinking?" Cyler scoffed.
"I'm celebrating!" Jules laughed. "While you all have been literally fucking around instead of finding a solution, I not only got a message from Tallis but found a way to shut down this damn fetter problem!"
"Oh really?" Jacob asked with a chuckle. He didn't seem to not believe her, but there was amusement in his voice. Was this what it was like when they were kids?
"Really. You know Cavil has a garden full of indigenous plants from every providence?" she asked. "Even some from the Deadlands. And when burned, they glow green. I took some for myself, and every night I've been burning them on the edge of the beach close to their supply dock," Jules explained with a hiccup. She didn't seem intoxicated, but there was a rosy hue to her cheeks.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Huxley growled. He was still obviously distraught by my tear-stained face but working through it on his own. He was improving, I guessed.
"I burned it to let Tallis know where I was!" she explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Makes sense. Fast forward to the part where Tallis is going to be here in three days," Maverick ordered. Allaire was next to him looking over a new code sequence on the computer. He'd spent the past two days dividing his time between working here and gathering blood samples from rejects at the clinic.
"Every night at eleven o'clock, a supply transport comes in. And every night a small new letter is written in green paint on the side of it." Jules stood up and made her way over to the screen and grabbed a digital pen, turned it on, and began writing.
A-G-A-P-I-M-E-
"He calls me Agapimenos. I'm wishing it wasn't such a damn long name," she added in a huff. "I think he will be here once the word is spelled out," she said excitedly.
"And you're sure?"
"Positive."
Cyler walked over to the digital screen and observed her work. "Great—so Tallis is coming, what about the fetter? I doubt you actually found a solution. Kemper's a mechanical engineer, for goodness sake."
"I didn't find anything out about the fetter. But I did find the computer that keeps up the perimeter," Jules said with a giggle before drawing a circle on the board around the letters she previously wrote.
"Now. I'm not sure, but I think a fetter has to be within range of the owner's tablet in order to work," Jules drew a smaller circle in the center and wrote "Holder's tablet."
"But one tablet can't cover the expanse of the island, so they—"
Kemper leaped off his stool excitedly and ran over to the board. "So they created network extenders. Towers connected to one computer which extend the range, thus keeping everyone here."
"Ah, once again, another person wants to take the glory for my finding," Jules scoffed before going back to the couch and plopping down in the leather seat with a pout.
"The towers all feed to a signal station. If we can shut down one of the towers, or even the signal station, we can get out of range," Kemper said excitedly while rushing over to a book and frantically flipping through pages.
"So how do we shut it down?" Maverick asked. I looked around, and for the first time, realized that Patrick was nowhere to be found.
"I'll need to see what kind they use," Kemper began before looking at a smug Jules. "You gonna be okay to show me where it is tonight?" he asked.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, no need to thank me or anything, no one ever does," she said darkly. She started coughing then wiped spit from her bottom lip.
I looked to Cyler, expecting him to say something—anything, but he was lost in thought and staring at the drawing board—already in fix it mode.
"Ahem, Cyler," I coughed out while scooting closer to Jules. "Anything you want to say to Jules?" I asked, hoping the obvious meaning of my tone came across.
"I don't need your pity," Jules growled out, and I flinched.
Cyler snapped his head towards us and stomped until he was facing Jules.
"Don’t talk to her like that." His voice was steady and calm but held the ferociousness I knew and loved.
"Cy, it's okay," I offered, but my words fell on deaf ears.
Jules looked at me then back at him, I saw the wheels turning in her mind. "Is that what I must do to get your attention, brother? Insult your little Walker?" she asked.
Cyler tried to calm down, his muscles flexed and released a few times before he replied. "Jules, a good leader doesn't do good deeds for recognition—"
"Oh, fuck that. I want recognition. I want you to grovel at my feet and thank me for figuring out what Kemper couldn't. I was resourceful and brave. I snuck out at night—"
"Which wasn't safe! You could have gotten hurt."
"Like you give a shit!"
I felt Jacob's grip tighten on my shoulders, reminding me he was there and keeping me planted on the couch. I'm not sure why he felt like I should be there, but I trusted him. He knew the Jules dynamic probably better than anyone else.
"Fine. Good job, Sis. You figured it out."
"Well, that was a p
oor excuse for recognition," I muttered, and once again, Jules snapped her head to mine. At first, she opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it again as if thinking better of it. I looked to Cyler and crossed my arms over my chest. “Well?” I asked.
“Okay, maybe I didn’t handle this well. But I won’t sit by while you insult Ash, either. Thank you for doing this. Thank you, Jules. You’ve always been the smart one out of all of us. Figures you’d be the resourceful one, too.” Cyler forced a smile, and I relaxed a bit.
Jules looked to me and rolled her eyes. “Years. It’s been years. I’ve been begging for recognition and respect for years. She just crosses her arms, you suddenly hear me? I’m so over this. I can’t wait to be out of here. I’m done with this family. Done with this bullshit.”
“What do you want from me?! You ask for recognition then get mad when I give it to you!” Cyler yelled.
Jules took her drink and tipped it over so that it spilled on the floor of the lab, splashing all over Cyler’s boots. She then stood, squared her shoulders, and let out a shrill scream before speaking. “I want you to treat me like an equal. I want you to see how toxic our relationship is. I want you to want me to find fulfillment. I want you to want me to feel safe and treasured. I wanted a birthday party. I wanted to stay at home with you all, not go off to boarding school. I want Maverick to stop distancing himself. I want a fucking family. I want a purpose. I want Tallis to be safe and back here with me because he’s the only person in this entire empire that cares!” she cried out before crumbling in on herself and sitting on the floor.
She sobbed loudly, and Maverick dropped what he was doing to console her. He cradled her while Cyler stood in shock.
“You sent me to Galla to marry a stranger,” she cried out. “You forgot me.” Her words were muffled. She bit down on her arm to stop the screams from escaping her chest.
Jacob circled the couch and patted her shoulder while Kemper got a tissue. I moved towards her and sat on the side not occupied by Maverick and wrapped my arm around her, pulling her close. I felt guilty and self-absorbed. Even though I knew Jules had many facets to her personality, seeing her break down made it all so real. My involvement in how her brothers pushed her away made me fill with shame.
“He better be okay. That damn Scavenger has me all out of sorts,” she sniffled then wiped her nose on Maverick’s sleeve despite the tissue Kemper tried to hand her.
“Since when are you and Tallis together?” Patrick asked with a chuckle, making us all laugh.
Jules turned to look at me. Her eyes softened and despite the red splotches on her skin, she still looked beautiful.
“Let’s save their asses, shall we?” I asked.
She rolled her eyes before responding. “I guess someone’s gotta do it.”
Chapter Twenty
Jules was abnormally quiet as we lounged upstairs. She slept in later than usual after scouting out the signal station all night with Kemper. Kemp seemed invigorated by the new opportunity to escape, but also overwhelmed by our limited time.
Dominique stopped by after lunch carrying two large white boxes with bows on them. She plopped them on our beds, then sighed when we didn’t immediately jump at the opportunity to open them.
“Go on,” she began. “They’re for you. Open it!” She waltzed over to the box on my bed, popped the top, and pulled out an elegant black dress with lace fabric.
“This seems rather…” I thumbed the material between my fingers, “...intimate. What’s it for?” I asked.
The dark color reminded me of Mistress Stonewell’s funeral dress, but the high slit made it too revealing to be in Galla fashion.
“Cavil called this morning. He’s insisted that you attend his coming home party tonight,” Dominique replied with a frown.
Jules opened her box and held up a very short, wine-colored dress which undoubtedly showed way more skin than mine. I wondered if it was Cavil or Dominique that picked out the dresses.
“Why does he want me—us—there?” I asked. We didn’t need any additional complications. The signal station was already one of the most complex networks Kemper had ever seen, and Maverick was working round the clock to solidify his cure findings before we left. Cyler was walking the streets, listening to rumors about Cavil’s return, while Huxley, Patrick and Jacob walked the beach trying to find a transport they could steal. What little plan we had formed was completely dependent upon unconfirmed variables: Cavil’s party and Tallis’ return. Then, of course, there were the emotional uncertainties. I still found it difficult to think that Josiah’s execution would ultimately result in our freedom.
“I—I don’t want to go,” I said. I wished to sound more confident, but my voice was shaky. There was something edgy about Dominique that made me wary. It was odd to feel such sympathy and fear for the same person.
She let out a short laugh before responding, “Do you honestly think you have a choice? Especially after what Maverick pulled before Cavil left?” As Dominique spoke, Jules removed her ratty pajamas borrowed from one of the guys, before slipping into the sensual dress Dominique brought her. I looked at how the dress hugged every curve, yet I also noticed a dark tiredness in her eyes.
“If these dresses are anything to go by, I’d say Cavil just wants some eye candy at the event,” Jules said while wiggling her brows, but her lackluster skin dimmed the humorous effect she intended. What was wrong with her?
Jules turned around slowly with a grin. I knew that she loved clothes and the prettier things in life, but I found myself reluctantly accepting the dress Cavil wanted us to wear. How could we accept such a beautiful gift for such a dismal occasion?
“Does Cavil always throw parties upon his return?” I asked. I didn’t remember a party for when he returned with the guys, but it was also early morning when they arrived.
Dominique rolled her eyes while checking her comm-watch. The last time I pressed her for answers, she lashed out. But once again, I tried my luck at mapping out Cavil’s personality.
“Usually when Cavil returns from a mission, people gather along the sides of the roads to welcome him home. It’s somewhat of a required tradition here in Ethros, but that’s the extent of it,” she explained warily while tracing her fingers over the delicate material of the dress Cavil gave me.
“The only time he throws parties is when there’s an execution.” Dominique walked over to Jules with her brow furrowed.
I sat there for a moment, contemplating the reality of all that would happen in the next thirty-six hours. Josiah was going to die, and it was hard connecting the man I knew with the man he was while simultaneously feeling grief for the unfairness of it all.
“And what exactly is my role to be at this party?” I asked. Nothing about Cavil was safe. Dominique and Jules looked back at me for a while. I wasn’t prepared for the words that finally came out of Dominique’s mouth:
“You are there for Cavil and whatever purpose he has for you. The sooner you accept that, the less pain you will endure.”
I put the dress back in its box, unwilling to look at it anymore. It was beautiful, but touching it felt like Cavil was touching me. Involuntary shivers went up my spine. I looked at Dominique for a while, contemplating the words I wanted to say. I’ve always been too empathetic. Always a little too attached.
“I’m sure you know by now that we are going to try and leave,” I said in a nonchalant tone while folding my hands in my lap.
There was no surprise on Dominique’s face. I knew she had eyes and ears all over Ethros. “I figured as much,” she replied. She threw me an amused smile before continuing. “I look forward to watching you fail.”
“It doesn’t have to be like that, Dominique,” I replied. Didn’t she understand? Didn’t she want to fight for her life? Or was she happy living as Cavil’s Companion? In some ways, I understood her. Hell, back in Stonewell Manor I was her. I just wished I could instill some of the Dormas way of life into her personality. I understood that those t
hat don’t want to be saved, can’t be saved. But there was still a part of me desperate to try.
“When Maverick finalizes the rejection cure, it will make the vaccine obsolete. Do you know what that means? It means we’re all going to be Walkers. There will no longer be this insane hierarchy that dehumanizes Walkers and twists us into whatever our Holders want. This is your opportunity to find freedom, Dominique.”
Jules watched our back and forth with a sad smile. I think she enjoyed watching me assert myself. Each time I broke down, it somehow strengthened our bond.
“That was a nice speech, girl. I truly feel motivated.” Dominique clapped enthusiastically, the applause fake and forced. “I’ve spent what feels like an eternity watching men and women much better than you fail and die at the hands of Cavil and Lackley. You’re stuck. Forgive me if I don’t run and jump off that bridge you’re trying to build.”
Dominique turned and began her descent downstairs, pausing just before she slipped out of sight. “But…” Dominique said with a sigh. “I think it would be fun to watch you try.” Dominique looked over her shoulder then produced a red lipstick tube from her pocket, then used it to write four numbers on the white wall next to her.
4-7-9-6
She then slid her hands over her lips before saying, “I guess I inherited Cavil’s bloodlust. I like watching people destroy themselves. I’d say good luck, but we both know I don’t mean it.” And with that ominous statement, she disappeared down the stairs, and the front door of the lab slammed shut as she made her dramatic exit.
“In the future, Walker? Just say thanks for the dress,” Jules said with a wink. She moved over to my box to inspect my dress when all of a sudden she hunched over in pain while coughing up blood.