by Aron Lewes
“Yeah.” I answer with a firm nod. “It does.” I don't hate him, but I don't like him either. So far, he's been nothing but discouraging.
“So, Leigh... how should we proceed?” Taishi asks. “How might we assist Miss White?”
“Well, she's going to London to meet her favorite actor,” I reiterate. “But... that seems kind of pointless. Surely she doesn't need our help for that.”
“If that's her greatest wish, that is what we'll help her with. It doesn't matter how pointless it is.” Taishi looks a bit disgusted, but he doesn't complain. With a heavy sigh, he apathetically concludes, “I guess we're going to London.”
Name: Ronald Silverton
Last Mortal Age: 67
Occupation: Truck Driver
Current Rating: 6.71/10
Name: Padma Koval
Last Mortal Age: 82
Occupation: Teacher
Current Rating: 7.8/10
Name: Rosita Padilla
Last Mortal Age: 77
Occupation: Air Traffic Controller
Current Rating: 7.74/10
For the last few hours, I've been obsessively flipping through random spirit guide profiles, looking for a rating that compares to Taishi's 9.86. So far, I haven't found anyone who ranks as high as he does. He might be a pain in the ass, but I'm feeling pretty impressed right now. My instructor seems pretty elite.
With Alyx's help, I successfully manifested a LightTab, which is basically Heaven's version of a tablet. It's bright white, ovular, and lighter than air. It's a pretty awesome device.
Alyx, who's been listening to her music all day, suddenly pops out one of her earbuds and requests, “Look up Wilma Dawes!”
“Okay.” Within a few seconds, I pull up the appropriate spirit guide profile and read aloud, “Wilma Dawes... eighty... housewife... six point six out of ten.”
“Oh man. That's not a very good rating, is it?”
“It's not too bad. It seems about average.” I'm telling the truth. Most spirits seem to cap out at a six or seven. I haven't found too many nines yet, let alone, a nine-point-eight-six. Taishi's truly in a league of his own.
“So your guy is hot and he's good at what he does?” Alyx sneers at me. “That's totally not fair!”
“He's kind of a jerk, though.” I'm stricken with a sudden craving, so I manifest a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips. I'm getting a lot better at manifesting. Taishi's insults must have motivated me.
“Oh well. I'd rather have a hot jerk than a nice old lady. Is that bad?”
Ignoring her question, I suddenly shout, “Oh my god... look at this one!” With giant eyes, I show her the profile on the screen.
Name: Jim Stone
Last Mortal Age: 47
Occupation: Gunsmith
Current Rating: 3.8/10
“Three point eight?” I exclaim. “That's the lowest score I've seen. Poor Jim. What happened?”
“I have no idea,” Alyx apathetically replies as she pops her earbud back in. Apparently, she wasn't as shocked as I was.
So, am I going to be rated someday? What if I'm the next Jim Stone? What if, somewhere down the line, some new girl is staring at my profile, wondering how I tanked? That's a terrifying thought.
I wonder if Jophiel has a profile? He's not technically a spirit guide, but maybe he's listed?
It takes me less than three seconds to find my answer.
Name: Jophiel
Last Mortal Age: n/a
Occupation: Archangel
Current Rating: 9.97/10
Aha! Finally, there's someone better than Taishi! 9.97 sounds pretty amazing, but it's kind of funny to think a high-ranking angel would get anything less than a ten out of ten. How in the heck does someone get a perfect score?
I start to search for Amber, but a knock on the door interrupts my fun. I already know it's Taishi. We're heading to London to keep an eye on Cynthia.
When I answer the door, he looks as straight-lipped and smug as ever. I wonder if he ever smiles?
“Are you ready?” he asks.
“Yeah.” When I glance back at Alyx, she's watching my instructor with a predatory grin on her lips. If she thinks he's hot, she can have him.
All of a sudden, we're drifting back down to earth. As usual, Taishi never warns me—he just whisks me away. When we reach our destination, we're in a crowded capsule on The London Eye. Cynthia's standing nearby, reading a book called Best London Eats.
“Oh, wow!” My eyes swell to an abnormal size when I see Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament for the first time. “That's amazing!”
“It's alright,” Taishi blandly responds.
“I always wanted to go to London... or anywhere in Europe, really. Paris, Madrid... anywhere. Being dead makes travel easier, huh?” When I see him nodding, I ask, “Do you travel a lot?”
“Only when I'm on a job,” Taishi answers with a sneer. He sneers a lot. I'm starting to think a sneer is his nose's natural state.
“Do you ever get excited about anything?” I ask.
He gives me a one word answer. “Rarely.”
“So, what's the deal with Cynthia? What are we supposed to do now? Are we supposed to... follow her around the city or something?”
“That shouldn't be necessary. She seems fine.” Taishi crosses his arms and closes his eyes. He's so bored by London, he doesn't even care to see it. “She might need a helping hand when she goes to meet that Colton fellow, though.”
“So, like... we're supposed to help her meet him?”
“Precisely,” Taishi answers with a nod. “It shouldn't be too difficult.”
Good. I hope it's easy. I'd like to start off with a 10/10 success rate.
When our capsule descends and the tourists shuffle off, Taishi and I trail behind them. In the corner of my eye, I see a little boy waving to us, so I ask, “Umm... Taishi? Can that kid see us? Is he a medium or something?”
“No. That's Jack. He's a spirit guide too.” Taishi increases his pace and motions for me to follow. “Don't pay attention to him. If you show interest, you won't be able to get rid of him. He talks too much.”
“Oh my god! He's just a little kid, though! Why are you being so mean?”
“Little kid,” Taishi repeats my words with a disgusted snort. “Don't be deceived by his appearance. Jack might look small, but he's centuries old.”
“Oh.”
“Cynthia doesn't need us yet. What do you want to do?” Taishi drags a hand through his glossy black hair. “I can either take you back to Home, or we can do a little sightseeing of our own.”
“Oh my god... sightseeing!” I cry. “Would you really go sightseeing with me, Taishi?”
“Sure.”
To be honest, I'm shocked. This seems a little out of character for him. I thought he'd want to ditch me as fast as possible.
When we reach the busy street, Taishi effortlessly manifests a motorcycle, as well as a change of clothes for himself. Apparently, he thinks motorcyclists should wear black leather coats. If I could, I'd wear one too, but I can't. I'm still wearing the outfit I died in. Until I can manifest new clothes, I'm stuck with a painful reminder of my last night on earth.
“Get on,” Taishi commands as he mounts his new bike.
And then it dawns on me. In a few seconds, I'll be straddling the bike, squashed against Taishi's back. I'll probably have my arms around him too. Why did he have to choose a motorcycle, of all things? Why not a car or a truck—or a lorry, as the British would say.
As I climb on behind him, I try to suppress my groan, but a tiny grumble slips out. As my arms reluctantly engulf his waist, I ask, “Where are we going?”
He fires a question back at me. “Where do you want to go?”
“Maybe... Buckingham Palace or something?” I suggest.
Taishi doesn't respond to my suggestion—he just speeds away without warning. With a surprised squeak, I tighten my grip on his waist. I've never ridden a motorcycle before, so it's a little u
nnerving. Still, I need to chill. Even if we crash, it's not like I could die a second time.
Taishi races down the congested London street, splitting lanes as he surges forward. He knows he's invincible, so he's driving faster than most. On the way to Buckingham Palace, he takes us past Trafalgar Square, which I recognize from the movies. I wish I could get off and look around, but I already picked our destination, so I don't ask him to stop.
“Are you alright back there?” Taishi barks the question over his shoulder.
“Uh... yeah. I'm still alive.” I chuckle at my faux pas. “Well, I'm a spirit, so I'm technically not alive... but you know what I mean.”
At long last, we reach the residence of English royals, and it's just as grand and massive as I expected it to be. When Taishi stops the motorcycle, I get off and rush over to Buckingham Palace's gate.
“This is incredible!” I exclaim. “I never thought I'd visit London. I wish I was here with my family, but... it's really cool.”
Once again, my instructor shares his underwhelming opinion. “It's alright.”
My brow furrows as I spin in Taishi's direction. “Oh my god... does anything impress you?”
Taishi shakes his head. This time, he doesn't even bother with a one-word answer. He looks so bored by everything, it's starting to get on my nerves.
“Oh, look at the guard in the red coat and the fuzzy hat!” I squeal. Of course, Taishi doesn't bat an eye. Even though his lack of reaction is frustrating, I say, “Thanks for taking me here.”
“Sure.”
“Where else should we go?” I stroke my chin as I ponder my own question. “What are some other major sights in London? The wheel... Big Ben... the Palace...”
“Tower of London?” he quietly suggests.
“Okay! Yeah! Let's go there.” I'm already climbing onto his bike, so I hope he hasn't changed his mind about sightseeing. “Do you know how to get there?”
“I've been all over the world, Riley-san,” Taishi tells me as he revs up his bike. “I could take you anywhere.”
“Wow. That's... impressive.” When I catch myself resting my cheek on his back, I almost die from shame. I hope he didn't feel me getting cozy. “How long have you been doing this?”
“Doing what?”
I don't know what to call his line of work. “Spirit, uh... guidance?”
“Too long,” Taishi sighs. “If I can keep my rating up, I'll have a shot at becoming an archangel... so don't ruin this for me.”
“Wait... I can affect your rating?”
“If you fail your field tests... yes. If you fail, I fail. We're a team.” Every word from Taishi's lips sounds a bit like a groan. Sighing again, he adds, “So like I said... don't mess this up.”
Colton Crane's play is terrible. And I mean really terrible. He's one of the hottest guys on earth, but even he can't save this mind-numbingly boring mess. There are only two actors, and for nearly three hours, they sit on the middle of the stage and talk about the mistakes of their past. That's it. That's the entire play. There's no climax or conflict. From beginning to end, it's a barrage of boring stories. Thank god I no longer need sleep. If I did, I'd probably fall asleep on the floor.
Taishi looks as bored as I do, if not more so.
“Look... the entire theatre is packed!” I whisper, even though whispering isn't necessary. It's not like the actors could hear me. “I can't believe there are so many people who wanted to see... this.”
“It's because of the actor, I assume?” Taishi asks. “He's well-liked?”
“Yeah. He's pretty popular. He might not be too popular after this craptastic play, though.”
“Craptastic?” Taishi repeats my word with a raising eyebrow.
“What, you've never heard that before?” I fire up my LightTab and do a little search. “Look, it's in the Oxford English Dictionary!”
When I show him my search results, he looks disgusted. “Language is always changing...” he says with a sigh. “Humans are so silly.”
“What were you like, Taishi... when you were human?”
“I'm not going to answer that question.”
His reply doesn't surprise me. Taishi is a quiet, private guy who doesn't seem interested in getting chummy with me. If I want to learn anything about his past, I'll have to dig around for details some other way. I wonder if I could learn anything with the LightTab?
Taishi and I aren't the only two spirit guides attending this stupid play. In fact, there are too many to count. The aisles are teeming with bored guides, dedicated to protecting their human charges.
“Is this almost over?” Taishi grumbles.
“Maybe.” My eyes are vacant as they study the stage. “Hopefully...”
After ten more minutes of awful dialogue, it's finally over. We're finally free!
As Cynthia vacates her seat, Taishi follows her with his eyes. He looks even more serious than usual. “Cynthia's greatest wish is to meet Colton Crane,” he reminds me, “so I assume she'll be standing at the stage door.”
“Alright. Sounds easy.”
The departing theatregoers are surging into the aisle. Before we're stuck in a sea of them, Taishi grabs my arm and warps us to the stage door. At some point, I hope he teaches me how to do that. Warping would make my life—or afterlife, rather—a lot more convenient.
As we wait for Cynthia, Taishi's face slips into a scowl. Why does he always look so unpleasant? Just once, I'd like to see him smiling. It doesn't even have to be a huge smile—even a wispy little grin would suffice.
After a few minutes of standing and waiting, I ask, “Where is she?”
“I don't know...” Taishi strokes his chin. “Do you think she should be here by now?”
“Yeah. Maybe. The theatre was pretty crowded, though. Maybe it took her awhile to get out?”
“Or maybe she's standing in the wrong place?” Taishi suggests. “Give me a moment.”
Taishi vanishes before my eyes. When he reappears a few seconds later, his expression has changed dramatically. He looks worried.
“What? What is it? What's wrong?”
“Apparently, Cynthia's never heard of a stage door...” Taishi reports with a disgusted snort. “She's waiting in front of the theatre.”
“No, seriously?” I gasp.
“Yes. Seriously.” Taishi's cool composure is crumbling. This Colton Crane meet-and-greet is serious business to him.
Colton's co-star already popped out of the stage door, so it's only a matter of time before Colton whizzes by. “So, uh... what do we do now?” I ask.
“I'm going back to Cynthia. I'm going to try to get her to come back here.” As he plots, Taishi shoves a small, white button into my hand.
“What's this?”
“It's a micro thoughtshare. If two guides stick them in their ears, they can remotely share their thoughts.”
“And we would want to do this... why?”
“So you can keep me updated on Colton's whereabouts, and I can keep you updated on Cynthia's,” Taishi explains as he slips the tiny device into his ear.
“This is weird.”
“Weird or not, it's necessary. Oh, and be mindful of your thoughts, Riley-san. I'll hear everything,” Taishi warns me. “So... if you start thinking about how ridiculously handsome I am, I'll hear that too.”
As he steps away from me, Taishi winks. He actually winks. I think that's the most personality I've ever seen from him.
I put the device in my ear and try to clear my mind. If Taishi could hear even half of the random crap that floats into my head, I'd probably die from shame. I'd die again.
When Colton emerges from the stage door, he's greeted by an ocean of fans. Most of them are female, and a few of them are squealing. Unfortunately, Cynthia isn't one of them.
God, he's gorgeous. Even if his play sucked, I'm still a fan. I'm not a huge fan of the cigarette hanging out of his mouth, though. Why does every actor have to be a smoker?
Now that I'm invisible, I could tota
lly succumb to my stalker tendencies and follow Colton home. I could hang out in his house, and he'd never know I was there. Taishi wouldn't let me, though. He's such a jerk.
Taishi. Can you hear me? I put the thought out there and wait for an answer.
When I hear his reply, it's like he's speaking directly into my mind. This is officially one of the strangest things I've ever experienced. I absolutely can.
I try to communicate with my thoughts. So, uh... Colton's outside now. He's signing autographs.
Taishi's reply startles me. I know he's outside. I heard your thoughts about it. I'm sorry you think I'm a jerk.
Oh god. He heard that too?
Yes, Leigh, I heard. I also know your opinion of smokers, and I'm aware of your stalker tendencies. I wasn't lying when I said I would hear every little thought that entered your head.
Ugh. This is so embarrassing. I'm tempted to remove the stupid thoughtshare thingy and fling it across the street.
Don't do that, Leigh. Micro thoughtshares aren't particularly easy to come by. Also, Cynthia won't budge. I can't get her to move.
How can Taishi hear all of my random thoughts but I don't hear any of his?
Because, Leigh, I've gotten good at clearing my head of useless chatter.
I've officially had enough. I remove the thoughtshare device and stick it in my pocket. By the time Taishi returns to the stage door, Colton is gone.
“What did you do?” Taishi hisses as he stomps to my side. “Why did you take out the micro thoughtshare?”
“Oh, I dunno... maybe I was tired of you listening to and commenting on my random thoughts!” I exclaim.
“Where's Colton?”
“He left, like... thirty seconds ago.”
“And you just let him leave?”
I roll my eyes at my disapproving instructor. “Well, yeah! What did you expect me to do? Trip him?”
“Yes, actually. You could have done that.” Taishi's eyes narrow as he stares into the smoggy night sky.
“So... have we failed?”
“Not yet. As long as Cynthia's in London, there's still a chance of success,” Taishi answers with a sigh.
We can't fail. If we don't succeed, Taishi's 9.86 rating will take a hit, and I'll be the student who dragged him down. I don't want that on my record.