by Aron Lewes
“Nope. I guess not.” If I ever get to swap instructors, I might request one who's a little more compatible with me. Taishi's perpetual bad mood is driving me nuts.
Unfortunately, the train reaches it's destination, and my perfect couple prepares to part ways.
“It was really nice meeting you, Cynthia,” Kieran politely tells her as he departs with his niece.
“Yeah. It was really nice to meet you too.”
They shake hands, turn their backs to each other, and crush my little heart in the process.
“Awww...” I whine to Taishi as we shuffle off the train. “I really thought they had something. Oh well.”
“They're going to the same place,” Taishi reminds me. “Maybe they'll bump into each other again?”
I can't believe he just said that. Is Taishi Nakamura actually trying to give me hope? He's usually a slayer of hope, so this is a major shocker.
When we arrive at Windsor Castle, the Changing of the Guard is already in progress. I watch the grand spectacle with a goofy smile on my face. If I could see myself right now, I'd probably laugh. There are a lot of perks to being a spirit, and this is one of them. I get to do and see a lot of things I never thought I would do or see.
The castle itself is amazing. The monstrous royal residence is the biggest building I've ever seen. Of course, Taishi doesn't look too impressed. His hands are buried deep in the pockets of his coat as he shuffles after Cynthia.
As our human charge explores a portrait gallery, I feel myself slipping into boredom. I was never a huge fan of art. For once, my eyes look as tired as Taishi's.
And then I perk up again. Across the room, I catch a glimpse of Kieran and Miranda. Not wanting to miss my chance, I abandon Taishi and hurry after them.
“Kieran, wait!”
Kieran turns around and faces Cynthia's direction, but it's too soon to celebrate. I need to try harder.
“Ask her out!” I scream into his ear. “I know you want to! You liked her! You can do this, Kieran!”
Kieran grabs his niece's hand and marches across the room, catching Cynthia before she exits the gallery.
“Cynthia?”
When she hears him calling her name, she looks surprised to see him again. “Oh, Kieran! Hi. How are you enjoying the castle?”
“It's lovely, of course, but...” When he hesitates, I want to punch him in the head. His reluctance is killing me.
“Just do it, Kieran!” I holler. “She won't say no, I swear!”
“I was just wondering...” Kieran begins. “I was wondering if... if you'd like to have a drink with me sometime?”
When Taishi said words weren't necessary, he was right. Cynthia's smile tells me everything I need to know. She likes Kieran too.
“Sure,” she agrees. “I'd like that.”
As soon as he hears Cynthia's answer, Taishi gives me a round of apathetic applause. “Well done,” he quietly praises me. “You have a knack for getting through to them. You're certainly persistent.” When his eyes narrow, I realize his praise is false. “Now... if only you could perform that well on our actual mission, you might be a fairly decent guide.”
“Congratulations, Leigh,” Taishi mumbles sarcastically as we step into Kieran's apartment. “You convinced our charge to accompany a strange man to his home. That doesn't sound dangerous at all. Well done.”
My fist collides with Taishi's arm. I don't even think about it—I just punch him. I don't punch him that hard or anything, but I'm still landing a blow on my instructor. I hope I don't get in trouble for this. “Kieran's not strange! He's really nice and down-to-earth!” I vouch for him.
“Really? How long have we know him?”
Cynthia met him on the train, toured Windsor Castle, dropped off his niece and joined him for coffee. I try to guess how long it took. “Three hours. Maybe four?”
“Right. And believe it or not, even despicable men can pretend to be nice and down-to-earth for a matter of hours,” Taishi claims.
“No! I really do think he's nice. I can tell.” Cynthia and Kieran are sitting together on the couch, chatting about various topics. Hobbies. Favorite television shows. What universities they attended. For now, they seem content to gaze into each other's eyes. “You need to give people the benefit of the doubt, Tai.”
Taishi's lip curls, his nose wrinkles, and his eyes are hurling daggers. His disgust with me is painfully obvious. “Please don't shorten my name. Remember... I'm your instructor. I'm not your friend.”
“Okay. Alright. Sorry.” I try to soften him with a pout. “But... do you think we might be friends eventually?”
My pout must be effective, because his answer isn't as scathing as I expected. “I haven't ruled it out.”
Cynthia's hand flirtatiously glides along Kieran's arm. She's leaning toward him, giggling at everything he says. If she leapt into his lap right now, I wouldn't be surprised. They definitely have chemistry.
Taishi's fussing with something on his LightTab. Curious, I try to sneak a peek at his screen. When I realize he's looking at a spirit guide's profile page, I ask, “What are you doing?”
“I'm summoning Kieran's guide. I need to know he's the good guy you say he is.”
“God, you're paranoid.”
“I'm not paranoid. I'm careful,” Taishi insists.
I study the profile of Kieran's summoned guide.
Name: Carl Kaufman
Last Mortal Age: 41
Occupation: Librarian
Current Rating: 6.77/10
As soon as I finish reading, Carl appears—at least, I assume it's Carl. He's probably the most tired-looking guy I've ever seen. His shoulders are drooping, his eyes are red-rimmed, his clothes are wrinkled, his red hair is a mess, and he looks like he hasn't smiled in over a century. He has that in common with Taishi, I guess.
“Taishi Nakamura?” Carl lazily cites my instructor's name. “You wanted to see me for some reason?”
“I did. You're the primary guide of Kieran Waterstone, correct? He's your charge?” Taishi points at Kieran, who appears to be leaning in for a kiss. When Cynthia meets him halfway, I indulge in a little victory dance that has Taishi scowling at me again.
Carl answers with an apathetic, “Yeah.”
“Can you tell me anything about him?” Taishi requests. “Is he a decent man, or is he someone we should keep our eye on?”
“Oh, Kieran's cool,” Carl says. “He's not a mass murderer or anything, if that's what you're worried about. He's never done anything to break the law. Well... I mean... he downloads movies every now and then, but that's not so bad, is it?”
Cynthia and Kieran are in the middle of a full-on makeout session now, and we're just standing in his living room, having a chat. It's so weird.
“How does he treat women?” Taishi asks.
“He's okay... I guess,” Carl shrugs. “He did cheat on a girl once, but that was a long time ago.”
Taishi's interrogation continues. “How long ago?”
“Ohhh, I don't know. Six or seven years ago?” Carl sidles away. “Is that all? Can I go now?”
“Fine. Sure.” Taishi dismisses him with an impolite flick of his hand. “I think I've learned enough.”
When Carl disappears, Taishi goes back to reading his LightTab. Apparently, watching Cynthia and Kieran shove tongues down each other's throats isn't as awkward for him as it is for me.
“Well, did he pass your test?” I ask.
“Kieran seems... alright.”
“What are you looking at now?”
Taishi shows me his LightTab screen. “I'm checking Colton's location. He's nowhere near us, of course. But I have plans for tomorrow.”
I almost ask if he's going to let me in on the plan, but it's too weird to have a conversation in the middle of someone else's makeout session. I direct his attention to Kieran and Cynthia, who are horizontal on the couch. “Do you think we should, uhhh... give them some privacy?” I ask.
“They can't see us. Don'
t worry about it.” When Cynthia sits up and rips off her shirt, he immediately changes his mind. “Uh... on second thought, let's head into the hallway.”
Taishi and I retreat to the hall before any more articles of clothing are tossed aside. Their romance progressed a little faster than I expected.
“By the looks of it, Colton Crane might be the last thing on her mind,” I observe. “Do they still have to meet up? Is it really necessary?”
Taishi nods. “Unfortunately... yes. Once you accept a job, exact conditions must be met for it to be considered a success.”
“So basically... even though she seems happy with this guy, we won't succeed until she meets a different guy?” Heaven's rules have me sneering. “I'm sorry, but that's a little messed up.”
“The contract was formed by Cynthia's initial wish, and it cannot be broken.”
I'm trying to make sense of this, but it sounds ridiculous. Wishes can change, right?
“Well... whether or not we succeed, I'll consider this mission a success!” I boldly declare. “Even if the higher-ups consider it a failure, it doesn't matter to me. As long as Cynthia's happy, I don't care about my rating.”
Under his breath, Taishi murmurs, “You'll start to care when the horrible jobs roll in...”
I barely hear him. “Pardon?”
“Oh... nothing. Nothing.” Taishi's lips are pulled into a grin as he turns away from me. “Pay no attention to me, Riley-san. I'm just talking to myself.”
“So... who's the hottest angel?” Alyx asks the question as she zips through pictures on her LightTab. When she shows me a shirtless picture of Archangel Michael, I'm slack-jawed—for multiple reasons. To begin with, I can't believe a shirtless picture of Archangel Michael actually exists. Also, he's huge. He's got giant pecs, giant abs, and giant arms. His body is basically a one giant muscle.
“In my opinion...” Alyx continues, “I'd pick Gabriel or Azrael. Gabriel has the most gorgeous curly brown hair I've ever seen. And Azrael? He's got this dark, broody, Angel of Death thing going on. Hell, I'd throw Amber in the mix too. I still think she's gorgeous.”
My answer comes easily. “I'd pick Jophiel.”
“Ehh... Jophiel's okay. Don't get me wrong, he's beautiful, and his freckles are cute, but I'm not really into blonde boys.”
I don't care if she's into him or not. It's less competition for me if she isn't.
Competition? Ha! As if I could get an angel to like me.
“Do you think angels can have sex?” Alyx asks—and a few seconds later, she looks horrified. “Hold up... can spirits have sex?”
“I have no idea.”
“Ask Taishi the next time you see him,” my roommate requests.
“I'm not asking him that!”
“Aww... why not? I need to know or I'll--”
Our conversation is interrupted by a loud bang on the door. When I peek into the hallway, I'm surprised to see Taishi. He's wearing his samurai clothes today—which is a really good look for him, if I'm being honest.
“Hey Taishi. What's up?” For some reason, he looks frazzled.
“We need to find Cynthia. Immediately.”
He says it with such urgency, one might think she was in grave danger or something. “What's wrong with Cynthia?”
“Nothing's wrong. It's good news, actually. She might finally have a chance to meet Colton.” When Taishi's eyes flicker over to Alyx, she exuberantly waves.
“Hey, Taishi!” She greets him like they're buddies, even though they're far from it. “I'm just wondering... can angels and spirits have sex?”
Oh my god. I can't believe she asked that. If spirits can blush, my face must be bright red right now.
Taishi ignores her question, which is a shame, because I was kind of curious myself. “I got Cynthia to visit the Victoria and Albert Museum, which isn't far from Colton's neighborhood. In fact, he should be passing the museum shortly.”
“How'd you get her to go there? Teach me your secret!”
“I manifested the museum's ads on her social media accounts. Then I showed her pictures from a Queen Victoria television show she enjoys. Basically, I implanted the idea in her mind,” Taishi explains. “She's at the museum right now, so we've got to go!”
“You did all this without me?” I unleash my poutiest pout and hope he feels guilty.
“Well... yes. Sorry.”
“I want to learn how to mess with social media!” I whine to my instructor as I follow him out of the room. “You never teach me anything cool!”
“Shhh.” Taishi's finger hovers over my lips, but he doesn't touch them. “I need to concentrate now.”
“On what?”
“On getting back down to earth.” Taishi takes my arm and closes his eyes. “It's not as easy as I make it look, Riley-san.”
He sounds like he's boasting, but I don't point it out. Before I know it, we're standing in front of the Victoria and Albert Museum.
“There she is!” Taishi exclaims, pointing at Cynthia. He sounds way too excited about a potential celebrity meet and greet. He's really dedicated to the cause—and to his 9.86 rating. “Follow her, Leigh! I'm going after Colton.”
“Okay, but... what am I supposed to do?”
“Stay with her and make sure she doesn't leave the area.”
“And what if she does try to leave? What am I supposed to do?”
“Try shouting at her like you did before,” Taishi suggests. “You seem to be good at that.” Before he goes, he slips a thoughtshare into my ear.
“Nooo! Not this thing again!” I whine. “I hate this device!”
“We need to stay in contact somehow. Don't complain.” With a hand on the hilt of his katana, Taishi dashes away to find Colton.
I can hear Taishi's thoughts as he chases after Cynthia's favorite actor. “This better work. If it doesn't, I'll have failed her. Leigh doesn't deserve to start out with a zero out of ten. I don't want to let her down.”
Awww, Taishi! I don't want you to feel that way! I intentionally communicate through my thoughts. Besides, we haven't failed yet! I think we've got a pretty good chance to succeed today.
“Stop listening to my thoughts, woman!” Taishi telepathically chides me.
Oh? But you're the one who slipped this stupid thing in my ear? Or did you forget? If it bothers you, I can always take it--
Taishi's thoughts drown mine out. “There he is!”
Who? Colton?
“Yes... Colton! Who else could I possibly be referring to?”
Geez. He didn't have to be an asshole.
Oops. In my mind, I just called Taishi an asshole, and I assume he heard that. Telepathic communication is still the weirdest thing in the world. I don't like to have someone in my head.
“Get her to leave the museum now, Riley-san!” My instructor transfers the command to my mind. “He's on a bike, and he's heading directly toward you.”
Oh god. Now I'm really feeling the pressure. If I still had a beating heart, I'm sure it would be racing right now. In full panic-mode, I dash into the museum and scream into Cynthia's ear. “YOU NEED TO LEAVE THIS PLACE. IT'S VERY BORING.”
I must get through to her a little bit, because a sneer suddenly creases her nose.
“You don't even like Victoria and Albert! Not really!” I scream at her. “You like the actors who play them, but you don't give a crap about the old royals! Not to mention, this porcelain teacup collection is stupid!”
“Is she leaving, Leigh?” Taishi telepathically asks. “Is she on her way out, because she needs to leave now!”
This is so intense, I'm about ready to pull my hair out. I didn't realize a celebrity encounter could be such a nail-biter. As loudly as I can, I yell, “GET OUT OF THIS MUSEUM RIGHT NOW, CYNTHIA WHITE!”
My scream is so effective, it not only chases Cynthia away, it also works on others. At the same time, a visiting old couple also decides they've had enough. As we leave the museum together, my eyes are so wide, I feel like they might pop
out of my head.
Taishi suddenly drops a question into my mind. “You're leaving now?”
Yeah. We're on our way out. I think the thought and hope he hears it.
“Alright, Leigh. We're heading your way!”
I can see them at the end of the street—Colton Crane on his bike, and a supernaturally fast samurai chasing after him. When Colton and Cynthia are about to cross paths, my instructor resorts to drastic measures. He kicks one of Colton's wheels, knocking him off the bicycle.
“Oh my god!” I gasp. “Taishi... why did you do that?”
“Because I had to make this happen... no matter what,” Taishi says—but I think he looks a bit sheepish, especially when he sees the cut on Colton's forehead.
Cynthia rushes over to the scene of the wreck. She already looks surprised by the falling biker, but when she sees Colton's face, her surprise is tripled.
“Colton Crane?” she gasps. “Are you alright?”
When the actor sits up, he's rubbing a knot on his head. “I... think so?”
“Do you need me to call an ambulance or something?” There are a few other onlookers, but they mostly mind their own business. A lot of Londoners are like that. They don't pay much attention to anything that's going on around them.
“No. I don't think it's too bad.” As he rises from the pavement, Colton's face is contorted by a grimace.
“Are you sure?” Cynthia's grimacing too. I think she's trying to empathize with his pain.
“No. I'm alright. Thanks for checking on me.” Colton drags a hand through his dark brown hair. For a few seconds, Cynthia looks awed by the falling tendrils. I don't blame her. He does have gorgeous hair. “I should really wear a helmet next time, huh?”
“Yeah. That's probably a good idea.” Cynthia's cheeks are so red, it's adorable. This encounter has her blushing like crazy. “It, uh... it was really nice to meet you, by the way. I'm a huge fan.”
“Oh, really? Thank you! That's very kind of you,” he graciously replies.
“I actually went to see Ogres and Elks a few days ago, and I thought it was really good.”
She has to be lying, right? To this day, I still feel exhausted when I think about Colton's stupid play.